Just One Reason (3 page)

Determined not to let her get to me like this, I threw myself into work for the rest of the week.  Some hotshot Hollywood actor had commissioned me to customize his new speedboat
, and he would be in town in less than two weeks to see the progress.  Working on the tight deadline, coupled with Josh and Ford keeping a steady supply of alcohol in my system after work, kept me from dwelling too much on Lindsay’s presence for the rest of the week.

Lindsay

The light morning breeze rustled through the filmy white curtains, and the sunlight streamed across the room.  It was a beautiful August day, and I knew I should be out enjoying it.  Instead I was still in bed, even though it was already late morning, watching the ceiling fan whirling around and around.  Every so often I would turn my head to look out the window at the house next door, yearning to see him but at the same time terrified of what I would feel again if I did.

The first day I was
back here I saw him out the window for only a few seconds.  But in those few seconds every feeling and emotion I had worked so hard to forget came rushing back with a vengeance.  He looked so different, with his long hair and tattoos running down his arms.  And while I had only known him to be gentle and loving, there was now an edginess to him.  It was undeniably appealing, but I feared I had been the one to put it there.

My mind drifted back five years to when I saw Grady through the very same window. 
The first time I ever laid eyes on Grady Hawke, I knew I had to meet him.

June 2006

I had arrived at Lana’s house earlier that day for a three month stay over my summer break.  Even though my mother and Lana were sisters, my mother had no interest in visiting her family or hometown, so I had flown here on my own.  Lana picked me and my copious amount of luggage up from the airport.

Lana had visited us in the city before, but it was so long ago that I barely remembered her.  After the d
rive home from the airport, I could already tell that she was nothing like my bitchy, self-centered, social climbing mother, and I was tremendously relieved.  I was here to get to know Lana better and to get a break from my parents.  With my cousin and best friend, Taryn, off traipsing through Europe for the summer with her parents, there was no way I was staying in the city with my parents all summer.

We took the scenic route through town so Lana could show me around the small town that would be my temporary home.
The drive through downtown took all of two minutes. It was sweet and quaint, nothing like New York City, and I knew I had made the right decision in coming here.

Back at Lana’s house, she helped me haul in my bags and left me in my room to unpack.  I was in the largest guest room in the old Victorian home, and it had a huge canopy bed and a bright bay window with a window seat.  It was this very window through which I saw Grady for the first time.

I was pulling a sundress out of my suitcase when I heard the roar of a motorcycle approach and then stop in front of the smaller house next door.  Shaking the wrinkles out of the dress, my eyes caught sight of the driver as he swung his long denim clad leg over the motorcycle and unstrapped the helmet from his head.

He ran his hands through his short, dark blonde hair
, and the lean muscles in his arms flexed at the motion.  I could tell he was tall, probably a foot taller than my petite 5’2”, and very attractive.  There was something in the way he moved, the way he stalked toward the front door, that reminded me of a caged animal.  Something coiled beneath the surface waiting to be released.

It wasn’t until he was inside the house that I realized I was staring with my mouth open and the dress I was holding had dropped to the floor.  I threw the dress back in my suitcase and hurried downstairs.  Lana was outside weeding the flower gardens in the front
yard, and I was going to help her.  I didn’t care if I had to trim every blade of grass in the yard with manicure scissors, I would be in the front yard when that guy came back outside.

There was a quick knock on my door, pulling me back to the present, and then it swung open.  Lana walked in and set a cup of coffee on my bedside table, before throwing the covers off me.  I sat up and tried to clutch at them, “Hey!  I’m still sleeping.”

She rolled her eyes at me, “No, you’re not sleeping.  You’re moping.
  And I’m tired of it.  Lindsay, it’s been five days since you got here and you haven’t once left the house.”  I didn’t bother to mention that I had actually been moping for the last month since I had quit my internship at my father’s law firm and moved out of my parents’ apartment.

I settled for burying my head under my pillow, but she pulled that off too.  Lana sat down on the edge of the bed and patted my arm.  With a softer tone she said, “I know you’re scared, Lindsay.  But you can’t hide out in here forever just hoping
to catch a glimpse of Grady.”

I cringed at the mention of his name. 
This was the first time in five years that I had heard his name spoken aloud, and it was a shock to my system.  No one except my mother and Lana knew about him, and my mother had certainly never said his name over the last five years.

“I’m not...I just…I don’t know why I eve
r agreed to come back here….no offense, Lana.”

She laughed at me, “None taken. 
I think you made the right decision in coming back here, Lindsay.  But I promised Taryn that I would look after you and make sure you’re okay.  And becoming a housebound hermit is not okay.  So, get up and get ready, because you are coming to work for me.”

I frowned a
t her in confusion.  “What?”

Lana
stood up and walked to the doorway before answering, “My assistant, Leah, is eight months pregnant.  I need you to learn her job so you can fill in for her while she is on maternity leave.  Be at my office by noon.”  She was gone before I could protest.  I flopped back down on the bed and grabbed my phone to check for my daily text from Taryn.

Sure enough
, she had texted me sometime late last night wishing me a good day.  I typed in a reply that wasn’t a lie this time.  Today I actually had something to do that wasn’t roaming around the house in my pajamas peering out the windows like a crazy stalker.

My father and
Taryn’s father are brothers, and Taryn was adopted when she was nine years old.  When I first met her, she was so lost and sad and scared.  We quickly became best friends, so close we could have been sisters.  I laughed at the irony that now I was the one who was lost and sad and scared.  Taryn is the strong one now.  That’s why I went along with this visit when Taryn had suggested it.  Taryn was just starting a life with her new fiancé, and she didn’t need me moping around and getting in the way.

Ever since I left Penn Yan five years ago, I had thought about coming back every single day.  And now that I was back I was absolutely terrified.  Terrified that I would see Grady and terrified that I wouldn’t. 
Terrified that I would find him still broken from what I did to him and terrified that I would find that he had easily moved on from me.  Ugh, I’m a hot mess.

With that lovely thought, I took a shower and dried my hair.  I let it hang loose and applied a minimal amount of makeup.  Now, what to wear?  Everything I owned was crammed into the
small closet.  When I left the city, I didn’t leave anything behind.  Taryn wouldn’t be living there forever, I didn’t have any other close friends I really cared about, and I would never go back for my parents.

I settled on a
raspberry colored sundress and wedge heel sandals.  It was early - I still had an hour until I was supposed to be there.  But it might take me an hour to figure out how to drive, since I hadn’t been behind a steering wheel since I got my license at sixteen.  I sighed and grabbed my sunglasses and purse and headed for the front door.

My hand was on the doorknob, and I was all ready to leave.  But an overwhelming sense of fear rushed through my body as I stood there.  Oh, God.  I really am becoming a hermit, or whatever the medical term is for someone who is scared to leave their home.  However, in my case, there was only
one person I feared running into.  Grady Hawke.

This is silly.  I am being silly.  It’s been five years.   I have no reason to believe he even cares that I exist anymore.  Repeating that
extremely depressing thought to myself, I walked out into the sunshine and locked the door behind me.  Not able to help myself I scurried quickly down the walk to the driveway where my brand new silver Mercedes SUV was parked.  Yes, I have a car that I have never driven.  Dominic, Taryn’s bodyguard, took me to buy it and it wasn’t difficult to persuade him to do all the test driving.

I pulled the keys out of my purse and nervously twisted them around
in my hands while I stood staring at my car.  I don’t know how long I had been standing there just staring at my car like an idiot when I heard a familiar voice behind me say, “Do you need some help, Miss?”

Smiling I turned around to see
old Mrs. Wilson, Lana’s neighbor on the other side, standing there.  She recognized me immediately.  “Lindsay?  Is that you, dear?”

I nodded, “Yes, Mr
s. Wilson.”

Sh
e waved her hand dismissively, “Call me Betty, you know that.  Are you here for a visit?  Lana didn’t mention you were coming.”

“Yes.  No.  I mean, yes, I’m here but not for a visit.  I’m here for a while,” I tried to explain, which was difficult when even I didn’t know
what I was really doing here.

B
etty smiled at me, “Well, it’s good to have you back. Does Grady know you’re here?”

I was sure
she didn’t miss the panic that flashed through my eyes.  “Um, no.  I haven’t seen him.”

B
etty raised her eyebrows, “Well, you might want to make sure you let him know you’re here.  It might not be best if he hears it from someone else.  Small town, you know, word travels fast.”  She tilted her head and walked back to her house next door.

I stood by my car a while longer pondering what
Betty had meant.  Why would it matter how Grady found out I was here?  Did that mean he would care that I’m back?  This was not helping my anxiety level, and I decided it would be very unsafe for the residents of Penn Yan if I was driving through their streets right now.  So, I walked the four blocks to the quaint downtown where Lana’s real estate office was located.  I had my sunglasses on, but I knew my ice blonde hair would be recognizable to Grady immediately if he happened to drive by.  So, I walked quickly.

I exhaled a huge sigh of relief when I reached the door to Lana’s office and welcomed the air conditioning that smacked me in the face when I walked inside.  Lana had been a real estate agent since she graduated college, and she pretty much had the market cornered on lake properties.  I was immediately greeted by a petite, bubbl
y, very pregnant brunette, who moved with surprising ease considering the size of her stomach.

“Hi!  I’m Leah.  And you have to be Lindsay - you look just like Lana - only younger!  No offense, Lana,” she called in t
he direction of Lana’s office.

I laughed and shook her outstretched hand, “It’s nice to meet you, Leah.  I understand I’m filling in for you whi
le you’re on maternity leave.”

Leah nodded and led me over to her desk, motioning for me to pull up a chair next to her. 
“Yeah, I’m about ready to pop.  I’m counting down the days until I can see my feet again,” she said rubbing her hands over her belly.  I felt a twinge of sadness deep inside as I listened to her talk about her baby, but I pushed it aside and focused on what I was here to learn.  It was the least I could do for Lana for taking me in - again.  And it gave me something more productive to do than wallowing in self pity.

After two hours of watching Leah answer the phone and input data into the computer for a new listing, I excused myself to go to the bathroom.  When I returned Lana was talking quietly to Leah, and I got the distinct impression they were talking about me.  Especially since Leah snapped her head around when I walked in and smiled guiltily at me.  She clearly wasn’t a good liar.  Lana, on th
e other hand, was much better.

“Lindsay, I’m going out to preview a few new listings for a buyer, so I won’t be back in the office this afternoon.  You and Leah can hold down the fort until 4:00, then go ahead and go.  It’s Saturday, so find something fun to do,” she said before she breezed out the door.  Yeah, right - find something fun?  The only person I knew in town would probably run the other way if he saw me.

It was pretty easy to catch on, and Saturday was a slow time in the office, so I answered the phone the rest of the time and made Leah lay down on the couch in the reception area.  She might not be able to see her feet, but I could, and her ankles had become cankles.  I was typing a phone message into the system when Leah sat up and peered at my toes.  “That’s a pretty color on your toes.  I can’t even reach my toes, and there’s no way I’ll let my husband paint them.  That would be a mess.”

I frowned at her and glanced at the clock - 3:45.  I’m sure Lana wouldn’t mind if we closed up
shop a little early today.  I grabbed my purse and handed Leah’s to her.  “Come on, Leah.  We’re going to get you a pedicure.”

She blinked at me in surprise. 
“Oh, I don’t know.  I’m trying to save any extra money for when I’m off work with the baby.”

I dragged her out the door and l
ocked up behind us.  “My treat,“ I said. “And I insist.  I’m not taking no for an answer.”

She smiled sweetly and clapped her hands
. “Well, okay.  If you insist.”  I had passed a small nail salon on my walk here, so I asked Leah if that place would be good.