Just One Reason (9 page)

Hmmm, let me think.  Dinner with a super hot actor who also happened to be a really nice guy or sitting at home avoiding my asshole ex who lets random
skanks blow him in the back room of a restaurant.  Tough choice.

Grady

Right after Shelly and I came out of the back
room, Lindsay got up and left in a hurry.  I had wanted her to see me go off with Shelly.  After losing myself with her yesterday, this had to stop.  I couldn’t let my guard down around her again.  We needed to stay away from each other, far away.  Making her hate me was the easiest way to keep her at a distance.

Uh, oh.
  Leah was glaring at me, and she stood between me and the door.  I sighed and joined her and Josh at their table.  Sitting in the seat Lindsay just vacated, I braced myself for the lecture.

“Grady Hawke!
  You should be ashamed of yourself.  Doing that right in front of Lindsay.  And with Shelly?  Do you know what a nasty hoe-bag she is?  You might as well of just had sex with half the men in this town.”

I cringed at how right she was about Shelly.  Ordinarily I wouldn’t touch
that with a ten foot pole.  Josh looked disgusted as well.  “Jesus, Leah.  You can’t talk like that after the baby’s born.”

Leah just rolled her eyes at him and kept laying into me.  “Lindsay’s had a lot going on in her life lately, and you’re just piling more of your shit on top.”

I had to stop her there.  “Listen, Leah.  Lindsay’s life is not my concern.  She made that very clear when she broke up with me.  Now she’s back here, fucking with my head.  I need to make sure she stays away from me.”

Leah frowned at me.  “Grady you need to get over what happened before.  I know that Lindsay had a very good reason for what she did.  And it wasn’t because she didn’t love you.  She didn’t tell me what she’s hiding, but you need to find out.  Camden Holt is coming
back into town in a few days, and he’s interested in Lindsay.  You need to get your shit together or you’re going to push her right into his strong, tanned, famous arms.”

I rubbed my hand over my face and tried to process what Leah just said. 
The thought of Lindsay with Cam made me want to punch his pretty boy face.  The thought of her with anyone else was enough to drive me crazy.  That’s why I didn’t think about her.  If I thought about her, I would never make it.  Hearing Leah say that Lindsay was hiding something about why she left me wasn’t something I could handle.  I had spent the last five years making Lindsay into the villain.  It made it easier to deal with the pain.  But hearing that it wasn’t because she didn’t love me?  That was almost enough to send me back into a downward spiral.  It didn’t matter anymore.  It was in the past.  I was not going there with her again.

Pushing away from the table I mutter
ed goodbye to Leah and Josh and waved at Ford.  I thought about going by my dad’s house, but that was too close to enemy territory.  So I went home.  I grabbed a couple of beers out of the fridge and went down to sit on the end of the dock.  The sun had just set, and the lights of houses around the lake glowed in the darkness.  Taking a swig of my beer, I thought back to another time I had sat in this very spot right after sunset.

June 2006

Lindsay was giggling at some stupid joke I made.  She was still wearing her bikini from our swim earlier and a pair of cutoff shorts.  Her hair had dried into a mass of crazy sexy curls, now blowing in the breeze.

The sun had just set, and the night sky was clear.  This was our second day together.  Just last night I had met Lindsay, taken her for dinner and ice cream, and drove around the l
ake until she started yawning.

Back at Lana’s house, I had walked her to the front door like the gentleman I had never been before.  She thanked me and r
ose up on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek.  I wanted to turn my head and capture her lips, but I held back.

Jogging down the steps, I turned back just as she started to enter the house. 
“Hey, Lindsay?  You busy tomorrow?”

She smiled at me over her shoulder.  “Hmmm, my schedule is pretty full.  But I mi
ght be able to squeeze you in.”

I winked at her before walking across Lana’s yard and into mine.  When I looked back one last time she was still watching me.

Today I picked her up right after work and brought her here to swim.  At first she was apprehensive about the lake water.  I’m sure she was used to clear pool water.  So, I picked her up and tossed her off the end of the dock.

Lindsay surfaced sputtering and yelling obscenities at me.  As soon as I followed her in, she jumped on my back and dunked my head under the water.  We spent the rest of the daylig
ht hours swimming and talking.

After sharing a pizza and soda for dinner, we sat on the end of the dock and watched the sun set.  There were plenty of opportunities when we were swimming for me to grab her and kiss her.  But something held me back, just like last night on the porch. 
The feeling in the pit of my stomach was foreign to me.  The feeling farther south I knew well, but this was something more.  I think I was actually nervous.  Grady Hawke did not get nervous around girls…until now.  This was just the first of many ways Lindsay would prove to be different.

Lindsay was giving me all the signs - flirty smiles, hair flipping
, leaning closer.  What the fuck was wrong with me?  While I was internally arguing with myself, Lindsay grabbed my face with both hands and planted one on me.

I was shocked immobile for a moment, but the feel of her soft lips moving against mine spurred me into action.  I pulled her closer and wrapped my hand around the nape of her neck.  She might have started it, but she easily gave up the lead to me. 
The nervousness was gone, replaced with white hot desire.  When I held back this time it was out of respect for Lindsay.  She was young…and special.  For the first time ever I wasn’t thinking about how far I could get with a girl.  I was thinking about more.

I set my second empty bottle down in the spot next to me and rubbed my fist over the center of my chest.  If I left this house, would I leave behind this empty aching feeling?  Would I be able to go home at night and not feel her presence surrounding me?  God, I hoped so.

***

By the time Monday morning rolled around I was chomping at the bit to get going on listing my house for sale.  With Lindsay working as Lana’s assistant, there was no way I was going to her office.  There were several other real estate agents in town, but Lana was the best, and I knew she would get why I had to do this.  First thing Monday morning, I called her cell phone to avoid Lindsay answering the office phone.

“Hello, Grady.  What can I do for you?”  Lana asked.

“Hey, Lana.  I want to put my house on the market,” I said, not wanting to waste time with small talk.

There was a pause before she replied, “Okay, if that’s what you want to do I can make some time to come by this afternoon and we can get the ball rolling.”  This was why I chose Lana.  She didn’t ask questions.

Or maybe she did, which I realized as we sat in my living room later that day.  “So, Grady, tell me why you spent the last few years designing and building this house and now you want to sell it a mere six months after it’s finished.”

I paced back
and forth in front of the floor to ceiling windows that spanned the entire front of the house and provided an awesome view of the lake.  “I could make a killing on this property, Lana.  You know that.”

She raised an eyebrow.  “Now, Grady, you and I both know this house was never about making money.”  Obviously Lindsay had told her about this house, and I wondered
if Lindsay knew I had gone ahead and built it.

The woman was like a freaking mind reader.  “Lindsay told me about your last night together when you outlined the house in the grass.  That’s incredibly romantic, Grady.  But she doesn’t know that you actually built it.”

I breathed a sigh of relief.  For some reason I didn’t want her to know.  To know that while she had been living it up in the city all this time, I was pining away for her in a house I built for her.

“Lindsay’s not part of my life anymore, Lana.
  I need to move on.  Selling this house is the first step.”

Lana studied me intently for a minute, making me feel like I was ten years old and in the principal’s office.  “Have you tried to talk to her?  About what happened to make her break it off with you?”  She asked.  I had no idea if Lana knew the real reasons behind Lindsay’s decisions.

“No, and I don’t want to.  She knew where to find me if she wanted to explain,” I grumbled, crossing my arms across my chest defensively.

Lana sighed and asked me what I wanted to list the house for.  I had no idea, so I agreed with her suggested listing price.  “Where will you live when you leave here?”  She asked me.  Hmmm, good question.  I really loved living on the water, and with the money I would make on this place I could
easily buy a smaller place on the lake.

“I think I want to stay on the lake. 
Just something smaller.  I don’t need all this space,” I replied, looking around at the spacious open concept living, dining, kitchen area.

Lana made some notes and nodded.  “I will line up some houses for you to look at soon.”  I hadn’t thought about having to look for a new place.  All I was thinking about was getting out of here.  Maybe I could crash with my dad for a while.  Wait, scratch that.  I can’t move out of my dream house to get away from the ghost of Lindsay just to move in next door to the real live, breathing Lindsay.

I followed Lana from room to room while she measured and took pictures.  “Well, Grady, you certainly did a good job building this home, but I can’t say the same for your decorating.  I’m going to recommend we bring in a stager.  Buyers are going to want to see this home furnished, and you hardly have any furniture.”

I grumbled some semblance o
f agreement and we went outside to get pictures of the exterior and the boat dock.  When she was done, Lana and I went back inside.

“All right, Grady.  I brought the paperwork for you to sign, and I’ll go ahead and get it on the market by the end of the week.  A property like this will go fast, so be prepared to make a de
cision when you get an offer.”

I nodded.
“I’ve already made my decision.”

***

Cam and his family were set to arrive on Monday afternoon, so I made sure to have his boat at the house’s dock well before then.  If I had to talk to him face to face, knowing he was making a move on Lindsay, I couldn’t be held accountable for my actions.  I drove the boat to the house he was renting for the week, and pulled it under the covered boat dock.

After tying the rope, I stood back and admired my handiwork.  The boat Cam bought was nice to begin with, but the upgrades he had me add put it over the top.  I had taken plenty of pictures to add to my book, and I knew Cam would be
happy with the final product.

Josh picked me up at the house and we drove back into town to have lunch at the pub.  Of course Ford was working.  He was always working, almost more than I did.  When we walked in the door, Ford caught my eye and waved us over.  We settled onto the bar stools next to the old guy w
ho was talking Ford’s ear off.

As soon as we sat down, Ford stalked off to help the people at the other end of the bar.  The old guy turned to Josh and me and started talking college football.  Ah, now I get
why Ford wanted us over here.

Ford
avoided talking football like the plague.  I didn’t blame him.  Ford had been the star quarterback in high school and had secured a full ride to LSU.  Three years ago, during the last game of his junior year season, he injured his leg and his football career was over.  He had planned to enter the NFL draft the following spring and was rumored to be a number one draft pick.  But in a freak accident on the field, all that was taken away.

Josh and I worried about him, but being guys, we didn’t push him to have any heart to hearts.  We enabled his denial by not bringing up foo
tball when he was around.  Two years was a long time to carry around the anger, and now his mom was sick and he felt like he was stuck in this small town.  I understood where he was coming from, I just hoped he would get over it soon.  Like I was one to talk.  I’m still carrying a torch for the girl who dumped me five years ago.

Josh and I took one for the team and talked football with the old guy until he finally got up and left. 
Josh took that opportunity to bring up Cam.  God, can’t I catch a fucking break?

“So, Leah told me Cam’s having some big Labor Day party,” he said.

I shrugged one shoulder and took a bite of my burger.  “So?”  I asked with my mouth full.

“Leah says we’re go
ing.  Are you?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.  If he’s into Lindsay, I don’t think I can watch that with
out getting myself into trouble.”

Josh nodded like he agreed but then said, “But he’s your biggest client.  Don’t you think you should go and schmooze?”

I looked at Josh like he’d grown another head.  “Schmooze?  I don’t schmooze.  Look, I don’t want to talk about Cam or Lindsay or Cam and Lindsay.  So just eat your damn food and let’s get out of here.”