Just Stupid! (22 page)

   I nod.

   Pretty rude to just nod when somebody asks you if you’re having a good time, I know, but maybe she’ll think I’m just the strong silent type.

   She smiles.

   ‘That’s good,’ she says. ‘Have you had something to eat?’

   If only she knew the truth.

   I nod again.

   Lisa frowns.

   ‘Are you all right?’ she says.

   I nod for a third time. I give her the thumbs up and try to smile appreciatively without letting the fifteen marshmallows erupt from my mouth.

   ‘Can I ask you something?’ she says.

   An idea comes to me.

   I can’t swallow the marshmallows, but maybe I can take them out for a while. We can resume the game later.

   I pretend that I’m going to sneeze.

   ‘Ah . . . ah . . .’

   I turn away from the table.

   ‘Choo!’

   I ‘sneeze’ the marshmallows into my right hand, wipe my mouth and turn back to face Lisa and Roseanne.

   ‘Bless you,’ says Lisa.

   ‘Thanks,’ I say. ‘What did you want to ask me?’

   She blushes and looks shy.

   ‘Can we see your palm?’ she asks.

   ‘Sure,’ I say.

   I hold out my left hand.

   She shakes her head.

   ‘No, I need your right hand,’ she says.

   I can feel the wet stickiness of the fifteen half-chewed marshmallows dripping through my fingers. It’s not a nice feeling. I don’t think Lisa really needs to see this.

   ‘You don’t want to see my right hand,’ I say.

   ‘Yes I do,’ she says. ‘The book says that the right hand gives a more accurate reading.’

   ‘Not in my case,’ I say. ‘My left hand is much better. Isn’t it, Danny?’

   He nods. It’s not like he can really do anything else.

   ‘Andy,’ says Roseanne, ‘just show us your right hand.’

   I’m going to have to show them my hand.

   But not with the marshmallows.

   I turn away from them, slip the gooey mess into my jacket pocket and wipe my palm on my jeans. I hold it out flat.

   ‘Thank you, Andy,’ says Lisa.

   She takes hold of my hand. It is still moist and sticky from the marshmallows, but she doesn’t seem to notice. She’s too busy comparing it with the picture in her book.

   ‘Good heartline,’ says Lisa to Roseanne.

   ‘Strong lifeline,’ says Roseanne to Lisa.

   ‘This is very promising,’ says Lisa. She gives me the most beautiful smile and lets go of my hand. She’s obviously noticed the similarity between my palm and the picture in the book. Funny about that.

   Lisa and Roseanne rush back to the other girls.

   Danny shakes me. He points at his mouth. He points at my pocket. He points at my mouth. He wants to get on with the game.

   ‘Okay, okay,’ I say.

   I take the molten mass out of my pocket. It’s not quite as white as it was before— there’s blue fluff and bits of sand embedded in it. But unappealing as it is, I have to put it back in my mouth—the thought of owing Danny a million dollars is much worse.

   I cup my hand over my mouth and suck the marshmallows back in. It makes me want to be sick, but I stifle the urge.

   Danny is holding up six marshmallows. If he can put all of them in his mouth he will be one ahead of me. He pushes them in with ease. The interruption has given him an advantage. His marshmallows have melted more than mine. But that’s fair. It was me who stopped.

   ‘Thithsteen thubba ummees,’ he says, white juice spilling out of the corners of his mouth.

   I take another two marshmallows and squash them in my palm to make them as small as possible. I poke them into my bulging mouth.

   ‘Thebentee ubby ubbas,’ I say.

   Seventeen! This must be a world record. Danny will never beat this.

   But he pushes another one into his mouth. And another. And another. And another. That’s twenty! That’s incredible. But I’m not through yet.

   I push one in. My bottom jaw feels like it’s going to come apart from my top jaw.

   I push another one in. My head is going to explode. My eyeballs are going to pop out.

   I push the twentieth marshmallow in. It pops straight back out. I pick it up and use the straw from my drink to push it as far into my mouth as I can.

   I’ve done it! We’re even! I’m about to try for twenty-one when I feel another tap on my shoulder.

   ‘Andy?’

   I turn around.

   It’s Lisa again. With her book.

   ‘Sorry,’ she says. ‘I just need to check your mount of Venus.’

   She grabs my hand and pokes the fleshy part at the base of my thumb.

   She looks back across to the girls.

   ‘It’s true!’ she calls. ‘It’s true!’

   The girls all come running over.

   Lisa displays my hand to them.

   ‘See?’ she says, holding up the picture in the book as well. ‘The same!’

   ‘Let’s have a look at his other hand!’ says Roseanne.

   She grabs my left hand.

   ‘A perfect match!’ she announces.

   Lisa beams.

   I can’t believe how well she’s fallen for my trick. I only wish I didn’t have twenty marshmallows in my mouth. I think I’d be as happy as she is.