Just This Once, Contemporary Romance (Last Frontier Lodge #3) (14 page)

She was glad she took this time and was blown away by the beauty of the Inside Passage. Yet, there was a pulsing ache in her heart. She couldn’t help but wish Aidan were here to share this journey with her. In her moments of sanity, when she was able to latch onto the prickly side of herself, she managed to roll her eyes and remind herself she needn’t be so squishy and wishful.

After changing ferries in Juneau, she was on the last leg of the ‘marine highway’ portion of her trip. The ferry docked in Whittier early in the afternoon. Shortly after she drove her trusty hatchback off the ferry, she spied out a clearly labeled dog park. Several of the other dogs she’d seen on the ferry were already scampering about inside the fenced area. She glanced at Oscar. He had his nose poked out the window, his ears flapping in the soft breeze. He’d been an admirably good sport on the ferry with the scheduled breaks, but he was bursting with restless energy. She pulled into the small parking area and took him out. Once they were inside the fenced area, she unclipped his leash and watched him run around.

She’d been able to manage her urges to call Aidan while on the ferry because they were usually out of cell range. While Oscar ran wild and played with the other dogs at the park, she couldn’t push back on the desire to hear Aidan’s voice anymore. She slipped her phone out of her pocket and called. He picked up on the third ring.

“Hey there.”

His gruff voice sent a rush of longing through her.

“Hey. I’m officially on land for more than a break.”

“Good to know. How was the ferry?”

She found herself filling him in on the details of her ferry trip. Somewhere along the way, she realized she’d been talking non-stop for several minutes. “I guess I could ask how you’re doing,” she said when she paused for a breath.

His low chuckle sent a shiver coursing through her.
Sweet hell.
Aidan didn’t even have to be near her, and he sent her body into a tailspin.

“I’m doing. Nothing new here. Busy with work, all the usual stuff. How’s Oscar?”

She looked over at Oscar who was currently carting a stick around as he circled the dog park, his tail wagging madly. “He’s happy as can be right now. We’re at a dog park. At the moment, he’s playing king of the stick.”

Another low chuckle from Aidan, and her pulse kicked up a notch. “So how far to Diamond Creek?”

“About three hours. I’m going to let Oscar play for a little more and then we’ll hit the road.”

There was a pause. Becca heard muffled voices, Aidan replied to something and then his voice came back clear. “Gotta go. Busy afternoon here. Can I call you tonight?”

“Of course. I’ll talk to you later.”

She wanted to say more, but she didn’t know what that would be, so she listened while he said goodbye and clicked off the line.

***

Several hours later, the sign for Last Frontier Lodge came into view as Becca rounded a curve in the road. She smiled to herself and glanced to Oscar. He was turning out to be one of the best decisions she’d made, perhaps ever. He was an excellent traveling companion—steady, joyful, and alert. She’d forgotten how dogs had the unique ability to bring her right into the present moment. In the drive from Whittier to Diamond Creek, Oscar had watched the landscape roll by, sipping at the air from the window. It was late summer, which she was discovering was a lovely time of year in Alaska. There were clusters of birch and cottonwood turning yellow and gold, their leaves fluttering in the wind and blowing loose. They passed by several fields of fireweed, a wild flower that bloomed late and was a sight to behold, its flowers fuchsia. Entire swaths of open land undulated with the gorgeous flowers waving in the wind.

She turned into the winding driveway that led up to the ski lodge. She had only vague memories of coming here to visit when she was a little girl. Their parents brought them during the holidays and in the summer. When their grandmother had passed away last year, she and her siblings had collectively inherited the lodge with Gage, the oldest, inheriting the largest share. None of them had realized the old ski lodge was still in the family. Their grandmother had boarded it up and moved to Washington after their grandfather passed away.

Gage had promptly declared his intent to move to Diamond Creek and reopen the lodge. Becca had known he needed the change of pace. He’d been at loose ends since retiring from active duty and taking a civilian job on the base. He’d never been quite the same since one of his fellow Navy SEAL’s had died on a mission. Becca had worried her older brother, who leaned toward being serious and quiet, would never find his groove again. But she’d been wrong. He’d returned to Diamond Creek, the place they’d all been born, and found a sense of peace and purpose. He’d also fallen head over heels in love with Marley. Just thinking of the way Gage looked when he was with Marley brought a smile to Becca’s face.

She pulled up into the parking lot at the lodge and climbed out of her car. The lodge sat at the feet of several mountain peaks on one side and faced Kachemak Bay on the other. The view spilled out in front of her. The bay shimmered under the early evening sun as it began its descent. A soft breeze blew through her hair. Oscar gave a soft bark, and she turned to open the car door. He leapt out, and she quickly clipped him on his leash. He was quite good about coming when she called, but she wasn’t sure if it was okay to let him run loose here. She wanted to give him a few days to adjust and make sure it was okay with Gage before she did that.

At the sound of her name, she turned and saw Gage walking toward her. Gage carried himself with the same intense, coiled energy Aidan did. She figured it must be a side effect of being a Navy SEAL. Gage’s brown hair was windblown. His gray eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled as he reached her. He immediately engulfed her in a bear hug.

“Hey sis! You made it almost exactly when you guessed.” He stepped back and knelt at Oscar’s side to pet him. “You must be Oscar.”

Becca giggled. “He’s been great the whole way. I hope you don’t mind I brought him.”

Gage stood. “Of course. Let me get your bags for you.” He turned and immediately checked the hatch, pulling out her suitcase and the small bag for Oscar right away.

She shook her head. “You just can’t wait, can you?”

He nudged the hatch shut with his elbow. “Wait for what?”

“To take care of everything.” Aidan would have done the same. Just the thought sent a pang through her.

Gage shrugged and grinned. “I like to be efficient.” He nodded toward the lodge.

She grabbed her purse out of the front and walked at his side to the lodge. As soon as she stepped inside, Marley came through the archway from the back and ran to Becca’s side, immediately tugging her into a hug.

When Becca stepped back, she eyed Marley. “You look great! How far along are you now?”

Marley ran her hand over the rounded curve of her belly. “I’m due in five months, so I’m not quite halfway. You wouldn’t know if from the way I want to eat!”

Gage grinned and leaned over to drop a kiss on Marley’s cheek. Becca felt tears prick in her eyes. Gage carried himself with a sense of peace and easiness she’d never seen for him.

Marley gestured for Becca to follow her. “Come on, I’ll show you your room.” She started to take one of the bags from Gage, but he shook his head.

“I got it.”

Marley rolled her eyes, but Becca only laughed. “Give it up. He’s always been like this.”

***

A while later, Becca sat on the couch in Gage and Marley’s private quarters in the lodge. Oscar was sound asleep between her and Marley. Gage and Garrett were at the kitchen table, currently in the thick of a game of cards. Delia walked over from the kitchen with two glasses of wine. She sat down in a rocking chair adjacent to the couch and handed Becca one of the glasses.

“This one’s for you.” She tucked her honey gold hair behind her ear as she turned to Marley. “And none for you until you have that little baby girl.”

Marley shrugged with a soft chuckle. She stroked Oscar slowly and glanced in Becca’s direction. “How was the Inside Passage? I’ve been in Alaska most of my life, but I’ve never been through there. I’ve heard it’s amazing.”

“It is! When you have a little extra time, you should take the trip. It’s only four days all the way through.”

Marley brushed her auburn hair away from her face. “It won’t be until after we have the baby. I can’t imagine even one full day out on the ocean like this, much less four.”

“How’s your pregnancy been?” Becca asked.

“For the most part, it’s going smoothly. I had a few bouts of morning sickness, but nothing horrible. Mostly, I just don’t like to wear anything other than giant clothes and definitely don’t like feeling stuck in one place. I get super antsy.”

“Well, you look great! You’ve got that whole glow thing going on.”

Gage called across the room. “I said the same thing this morning.”

Marley flushed and rolled her eyes. Conversation moved on with Gage and Garrett eventually joining them. As the evening rolled by, Becca felt herself relaxing in a way she rarely experienced. Truth be told, she usually only felt this way when she was with her family. Different though they each were, she was close to all of her siblings. Gage was a rock—steady and always there when you needed him. Being a twin was hard to explain unless you were one. She and Garrett were connected in ways that often prompted her to wonder what life would be like without him. For each of them, they’d known, without knowing why, when the other needed them. Garrett had called her within moments of Kyle yanking his pants up and walking out of their shared apartment with the woman she’d thought to be her friend. Just as she’d known something happened to him that day so many years ago when he’d been in a car accident as a little boy.

She glanced around the small cluster, and her heart squeezed. She was so happy for her brothers to have found love. Her heart twisted a little. For so long, she’d easily stuck to the belief she didn’t need love. She still didn’t think she
needed
it. Yet, watching her brothers fall in love and settle down elicited a sense of longing for the possibility. She’d been so successful at persuading herself she didn’t need love, it was hard to consider anything else. Aidan was making her question too many things about herself and the boundaries she’d put around her heart. She gulped down the last of her wine and glanced around. Marley was nodding off, and Delia had begun to gather the dishes scattered around. Becca stood to help her. She enjoyed the soothing putter of tidying up.

She followed Garrett and Delia out with Oscar right on her heels. When they reached the hall where she turned in the direction of her suite, Garrett threw his arm over her shoulder and gave her a squeeze. She glanced up into his blue eyes—so like her own—and tried to smile, but it wobbled the tiniest bit. Garrett, being her twin, instantly narrowed his eyes. “You okay?”

She nodded, perhaps a little too quickly. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Just tired from the trip.”

Garrett gave her a quick squeeze and let his arm slide off her shoulder. She knew he sensed she wasn’t up for further discussion. If there were one thing she could count on from Garrett, he would give her space and only push if he thought she needed it.

“How about you meet me for coffee tomorrow?” he asked.

“Sure. How about I call when I’m up?”

“Just don’t call too early. If you’re hankering for coffee at six, Delia will already have some going for you in the kitchen.”

His wry comment knocked the tightness out of her chest. “Right. See you tomorrow,” she said with a wave as she turned down the hall.

A while later, she rested on her side and stared at the stars outside the window. Oscar was sound asleep, curled up on the foot of the bed. Unlike her, he was free from the machinations of an overactive brain. She couldn’t stop thinking. Part of her missed Aidan, while another part of her thought perhaps she’d lost her mind. She’d shut men out of her life for good reason. This constant questioning, worry, and silly attempts to interpret nearly every interaction that had passed between her and Aidan was exhausting. She couldn’t knock her thoughts off the hamster wheel.

The half moon sat low over the mountains. Stars stretched in glittering glory across the inky sky. She finally fell asleep by counting the stars.

Chapter 18

Aidan kicked his office door shut behind him and sat down with a thud. He had a luxurious office chair, so it easily absorbed the blow. He ran a hand through his hair and leaned back, kicking his feet up on his desk. Ever since Becca had driven away last week, he’d been restless and distracted. He was upside down and sideways inside. Despite brutal workouts every morning, he couldn’t settle down and clear his mind. His thoughts flicked back to the dark, rainy night when he’d impulsively kissed her. At the time, he’d foolishly thought he could somehow wade through the muddle of waiting for her.

His entire adult life, he’d prided himself on his ruthless control. Being a Navy SEAL had demanded it of him, and he’d embraced that demand with ease. Yet, he couldn’t have imagined how little control he could have when it came to his heart. Becca was certainly not the first woman to stir desire in the physical sense. Oh, she certainly had a lock on him in that area, but it wasn’t that which threw him so. It was his heart, his foolish heart. He was winging it every step of the way with her. He had no plan and didn’t know how to formulate one. She was now thousands of miles away, and he had no idea what ‘playing it by ear’ meant to her.

There was a sharp knock on his door. He pushed his chair back and set his feet on the floor. “Come in,” he called.

Jo poked her head around his door. She eyed him for a moment and then stepped through the door. She held two cups of coffee in her hands.

“Everything okay?” he asked, puzzled at her hesitation.

Jo turned her sharp brown eyes to him. “Making sure you weren’t wearing the scowl that seems to have become an almost permanent expression for you,” she said.

Aidan sighed. “Come on, Jo. Cut me some slack. I haven’t been that bad.”