Just This Once, Contemporary Romance (Last Frontier Lodge #3) (12 page)

“Maybe so, Ellie. For now, Becca’s off to Alaska and I’ll have to bide my time until she gets back.”

Ellie arched a brow. “It’s up to you if you want to wait around.”

At that, she pushed her stool back and stood. “I’ve got an appointment downtown with one of the galleries. I’ll see you tonight.” She headed toward the short hallway that led to the bedrooms, pausing and turning back to him when she reached it. “You might want to stop by Becca’s place today. She said she was leaving tomorrow.”

***

Becca stood in front of her closet and stared inside. Oscar sat by her feet. He alternated with glances up to her as if to check what she was doing and then following her eyes to stare in the closet as well. In the full day she’d had him, he’d so thoroughly become a part of her life, she couldn’t consider not keeping him. Ellie had told her the vet estimated him to be about three years old. He was energetic, but he didn’t have the manic energy of a puppy. She’d taken him for a walk in a nearby park this morning and made sure he had toys to play with in her apartment. Aside from his tail clearing any objects in the path of its wag, he was well-behaved inside. She’d quickly cleared surfaces at tail-height, figuring the last thing she wanted to do was tell him to stop wagging his tail.

At the moment, he was keeping her company while she tried to pack for her trip. She’d woken this morning to a message from her twin brother. Last year, Garrett had surprised her, along with everyone else, by moving to Diamond Creek, Alaska after falling in love with the chef at their family ski lodge. Garrett’s message was innocuous enough. He was simply calling to check in. They’d always been close. Oddly enough, she felt closer to him now that he moved over two thousand miles away. Perhaps it was because Garrett had finally made a choice that made sense for him. For years, he’d been a corporate lawyer, and not just any corporate lawyer, but one of the best and brightest in Seattle. He rode high on money and prestige. Becca had always felt like he’d lost touch with the heart she knew he had. He’d met Delia up at Last Frontier Lodge, and she’d turned the course of his life.

Garrett wasn’t the second brother to find love in Alaska. Gage, the oldest of her siblings, had moved to Diamond Creek last year to resurrect their grandparents’ old ski lodge. He’d fallen fast and hard for Marley. He’d also done a smashing job of rejuvenating the ski lodge. After Garrett’s message this morning, Becca had moved beyond considering Ellie’s suggestion she take a vacation and decided to head to Alaska. She’d always wanted to take the ferry through the Inside Passage and figured she’d never have the time. Well, now the time was being forced upon her, so she’d take it. In the back of her mind, she also considered it might be good to get a little space from Aidan. Her emotions were too stirred up, and her body was beyond stirred up.

She quickly grabbed some shirts off their hangers and tossed them in her suitcase. She’d made reservations on the ferry for tomorrow morning, so she needed to be packed and ready to go by tonight. Oscar followed her back and forth between the bed where her suitcase sat and the closet while she selected clothes for the trip. She figured if she had a week’s worth of clothing, she’d be okay because she could do laundry at the ski lodge. Gage had assured her he’d make sure a room was available for her as long as she was there.

A while later, she ordered a pizza and joined Oscar on the couch while she waited for it to arrive. She was packed and mostly ready to go. The only problem was she couldn’t stop thinking about Aidan. As little as a week ago, it would never have occurred to her to let him know she was going out of town for a while. Though he was a close family friend, his involvement in her daily life was peripheral and in passing. But now, after two encounters that had almost singed her, she was betwixt and between about what to do with her feelings. The status of their relationship was uncertain to say the least. She’d failed at keeping the boundary of ‘just once,’ but she didn’t know what that meant. Could they somehow go back to what they were? Part of her knew that was impossible, while another part of her prayed she could will it to be so.

There was a knock at her door. Oscar lifted his head and let out a sharp bark. She stroked his neck quickly. “Stay,” she ordered softly. Ellie had told her she’d been training Oscar with basic commands for sit, stay and come. He’d admirably shown he understood them all every chance she gave him. For now, his alert eyes followed her as she stood and grabbed her purse to pay for the pizza delivery. Oscar remained on the couch, quiet and watchful. When she opened the door, she was looking down to pull her wallet out of her purse.

“Hang on, just making sure I have enough cash.”

She glanced up to find Aidan standing there.

Chapter 14

Becca’s hair fell around her face as she fumbled in her wallet. When she looked up, her eyes widened. Aidan surmised she was expecting someone other than him to deliver takeout. He rolled his shoulders, willing the tension out of his body. He cleared his throat. “I, uh, thought I’d stop by before you left.”

Her eyes held his for a long moment. He could see the beat of her pulse start to flutter in her neck. He was caught in the middle of his mixed emotions. He was
not
upset she was leaving on principle. He completely supported her actually taking a break for once in her life. Yet, he wanted
this
, whatever
this
was between them, to have a clearer definition, so he could know if it was okay to say he would miss her. Dammit, he wanted more time. Things between them were too fresh. If she took off now, he sensed it would erase his chances at having an opportunity to have something other than one night and an amazing afternoon encounter with her.

He liked to have a plan, and he had none. He was completely winging it. He’d almost decided against stopping by, but he couldn’t quite bear it if he didn’t see her once more before she was gone for the month.

“I was planning to call you,” she blurted out. Her cheeks flushed, and she took a step back, gesturing for him to come in.

As he stepped through the door, a voice called out from down the hall. He glanced over his shoulder to see a young man hurrying down the hall with several pizzas in hand. Aidan caught Becca’s eyes. “I think your pizza’s here.”

“Oh right.” She stepped around him and quickly paid. “Thank you!” she called as the delivery guy handed over a pizza and turned away.

She closed the door and walked to the couch, setting the pizza on the coffee table. Oscar leapt off the couch and ran to greet Aidan. Aidan knelt down and ruffled Oscar’s neck before standing again.

“How’s he doing?”

“Great! He’s so easy to have around. I’ve always loved dogs, but figured I worked too much to try to have one. Ellie convinced me it would work if I set him up at one of the nearby doggie daycare places when I have long days at work. He’s hard to say no to though. I mean, look at his face.”

Aidan glanced down at Oscar who sat between them, his tail thumping on the floor, his tongue hanging half out of his mouth, and his friendly gaze bouncing between them. “He’s damn near irresistible. Ellie’s thrilled you’re giving him a chance. I hope it works out because…”

Becca waved him off. “It’s already a done deal. I know I told her we’d give it a month, but there’s no way in hell I could let him go anywhere now. I guess I should call her and let her know,” she said with a wry grin.

“You’ll make her day if you do.” He paused and nodded toward the pizza. “Don’t mean to interrupt your dinner.”

She shrugged. “It’s okay. Are you hungry? There’s plenty.”

“I can always eat.”

She grinned. “Have a seat. I’ll grab some plates.”

She hurried through the archway into the kitchen while he stepped to the couch and sat down. Oscar immediately jumped up at his side. “Okay for Oscar to be on the couch?” he called out.

“Of course!”

Moments later, she joined him. She set two plates on the coffee table, a bottle of wine, a beer and two glasses. “Wasn’t sure if you’d want beer or wine, so I brought both,” she offered with a shrug.

The benign conversation that followed eased the tight feeling in his chest. They ate pizza with the television news rumbling on low in the background. Oscar was clearly quite interested in their food, although he was polite enough not to beg. Once they finished the pizza, Aidan stood and moved to take Becca’s empty plate from her.

“You don’t have to clean up.”

“Hey, you let me in for an uninvited dinner. Least I can do is clean up.”

She handed over her plate and leaned back while he carted their plates, along with the empty pizza box into the kitchen. He quickly rinsed the plates and put them in the dishwasher before returning to the living room. Oscar rested against Becca’s leg as she idly stroked him. Aidan’s tension returned as he considered what to say. They’d somehow managed to get through dinner pretending like nothing was different. In reality, a lot was different. Beyond the fact that they’d had not one, but two, mind-blowing sexual encounters, Becca was leaving for a month and they hadn’t managed to talk about anything that had happened between them. He generally prided himself on being a direct person, but he had close to zero experience in navigating conversations that involved his emotions.

He took another swallow of beer before setting the bottle down on the coffee table. He’d spent years racing into dangerous situations when he was a Navy SEAL, yet he felt entirely unprepared for the fear knotting him up right now. He couldn’t have guessed it, but trying to talk to Becca set his nerves on edge in a way nothing had before. He steeled himself before he spoke.

“So, uh, Ellie passed on the news you’ll be taking off to Alaska for the month.”

Becca caught his eyes and nodded. “I can’t believe I’m doing it, but I am. I thought I’d just stick it out and do the admin thing at work, but I hate it. The part of my job I love is being able to prosecute cases that matter. I put up with all the paperwork, but there’s no reward if all I’m doing is paperwork. I’ve got personal leave coming out of my ears because I hardly ever take a vacation. To be honest, Ellie made me think about it.” She shook her head with a wry grin. “I’m not gonna go all spiritual about it, but she’s right the universe just handed me an opportunity. I figure I might as well take it. I always wanted to see the Inside Passage, so I’ll take the ferry from Bellingham up to Alaska and then drive the rest of the way to Diamond Creek.”

“When do you leave?”

“Tomorrow morning.” Her words came out soft, just above a whisper. He glanced over, keeping a firm grip on his emotions. Her eyes were bright and tinged with uncertainty.

“Good for you. Gage and Garrett will be glad to have you up there.”

She nodded. She was quiet for a beat before she spoke. “Look, I was going to call you tonight. I made this decision kind of fast. I don’t really know where we stand or how you feel, or…” She paused and nervously fiddled with a bracelet on her wrist.

When her silence continued, he forced himself to speak. “We haven’t really talked since before, well, before anything happened. You said just once, but it’s already been more than that. I was hoping…” He paused and ran a hand through his hair. “Look, I don’t have much experience with talking about this kind of thing, so bear with me.” When he glanced her way, he took a small measure of comfort that she looked as nervous as he felt. He steeled himself again and continued. “I guess I was hoping maybe we could try something more.”

He couldn’t quite bring himself to tell her he’d wanted a chance with her for years. He’d stuffed those hopes and fantasies so far down inside, he hadn’t adjusted to considering the possibility something more could come of the white-hot passion that flared between them. Unable to explain further, he waited.

“More?” Her question was so soft, he glanced her way, uncertain what she said.

“What?”

“More?” she asked, her voice strong and clear this time.

Ah hell. She wants you to explain. Get your nerve up, man. You can’t be a wuss about this. You’ve faced situations a hell of a lot more stressful than this. Just tell her what you want. Right, as if it’s so damn simple.
On the heels of his internal wrangling, he looked up into Becca’s expectant eyes. Emotion slammed into his chest. He wanted too much, too fast. He wanted to be past all this uncertainty and, at the least, know she was willing to give them a chance. But for now, he needed to try to explain what ‘more’ meant.

“More than just once or twice. More than me just being the guy who replaces Kyle as your last lover. Not that I minded—at all—but like I said before, I wanted to kiss you for too damn long. Now that I have, I know this thing between us isn’t nothing, it’s something.”
She held his gaze, her cheeks pinkening. Still fiddling with her bracelet, she opened and closed her mouth. She glanced away and back again. “Okay,” she said softly.

“Okay?” What the hell did she mean by okay? If he could somehow get through this conversation, he was going to need a stiff drink by the end of it. His chest was tight and his brain was spinning in circles.

“Just that we can see what happens. My whole ‘just once’ thing already blew up in my face, so I can admit that was silly. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but we can play it by ear after I get back.”

His chest loosened slightly. He’d braced himself for anything but this. He hadn’t realized he’d been holding his breath until it came out in a slow whoosh. He met her eyes, his body instantly tightening. He made an abrupt decision. An entire month yawned ahead of him. If she wasn’t putting him off, he wasn’t wasting this night. He stood and held his hand out.

She glanced up, a question in her eyes.

“We have just tonight before you go.”

Her cheeks flushed a deeper shade of pink. She bit her lip and glanced down at Oscar who was sound asleep and snoring softly.

He nodded to Oscar. “Not in the mood for an audience.”

She placed her hand in his. He led the way to her bedroom.

Chapter 15

Aidan’s hand curled around hers, strong and warm. He gave a subtle tug, and she stood. Her pulse rocketed. Heat blazed through her as he led her to the bedroom. She’d left a lamp on by her bed. It cast a soft circle of light leaving the rest of the room in shadow. Though she could hardly think over the beating of her heart, she managed to close the door behind her. He stopped at the foot of her bed and turned, her hand still in his. He was so tall, he filled the space in her bedroom. His black curls were mussed, the blue of his eyes darkened as they coasted over her. His thumb brushed across her wrist. The touch sent acute sparks of pleasure along her skin.