Karma (Karma Series) (22 page)

“
From the moment you showed up, you've been nothing but a walking disaster. Cutty is right, there's something wrong here. And then I’m forced to defend you when I know it too.”

“
I’m sorry but threatening to kill someone doesn’t inspire confidence.” But the more he talked, the more I realized he never would’ve done it.

“You take nothing seriously, but
that
you decide to listen to. How many times have you heard someone say that?”

“You said it with a very scary tone.”

“You think this is funny? That it’s a joke you thought I’d kill you?”

I could see how much it insulted him.
I didn’t know what to say and the way he was looking at me made me feel like a worm, squirming around. How could I explain that, for some reason I didn’t get, I went stupid around him? I missed cues. That I knew it wasn’t funny but I didn’t know how to take it back?

He pulled up to the front of our hotel but didn't shut off the car.

“I don’t get you. I don’t understand why everything doesn’t work right where you’re concerned. I don’t want to know. Just get your ass to Harold's office and leave when your date is up.” He leaned over me and pushed the car door open. “Now get out.” He sat back and looked away from me.

“
I'm covered in blood? I can't walk through the hotel lobby like this.”

“
You’ll get by, somehow, I’m sure.”

I grabbed the towel with me and watched as he sped off. Not the best way to leave things but I
would
be leaving. My murderer was dead. There wouldn’t be any heartfelt goodbyes, but I wouldn’t remember any of this. I was glad.

At three P.M. today, I would walk into Harold's office and, as he had described it, reenter the system. I would remember nothing of this time after I was reborn.

There was no way I’d
miss this meeting, so I was going to head in at one P.M. and sit there, waiting. I grabbed the keys to the Honda and headed out.

I walked out my front door and almost instantaneously,
the guards appeared in front of me and a doorway to a cinder block room opened up.

I pulled back just in time to avoid stepping through it but wasn't prepared for the push at my back.

I stumbled through into a room with no doors.

And
, for the first time since I'd entered this crazy new reality, no one needed to explain a thing. I knew with an undeniable clarity what had just happened.

Someone had just screwed me over.

I sat with my back against the cinder block wall as I stared at my phone that had service. I'd called the door guard number several times, even though I knew it was hopeless.

The only thing that didn't make sense
was who. Harold wanted me gone. Fate had wanted me gone before I'd even joined. The guy trying to recruit me was dead but perhaps someone he worked with? No. I couldn't get the guards on the phone. It had to be someone directly involved with the agency, but why would they want to keep me? It just didn't make sense. Everyone with a say wanted me gone.

I looked down at my phone. Four o'clock. My window had officially closed
. I'd be here for another thousand years, minus one moth served. I felt beaten down and defeated. It was an altogether new experience for me, and one I never wanted to feel again.

I wanted to cry. I should’ve
, but the tears simply didn’t come. Maybe I’d shed too many already. Was it possible to run out? That’s how I felt. Hollow, like there was nothing left to give.

Finally, in the middle of my small cubicle, the door appeared. I grabbed my purse and my phone as I slowly stood. I looked at both the
guards.

“
Why?”

They hung their heads and then the one on the right uttered a single name.
“Paddy.”

I walked out to my condo, leaving the cinder block room and small chunk of the humanity I had left with it.

***

I walked into the office like I was now doomed to do
for countless years to come. The sole purpose of my existence in the world was now to dole out death and pain.

I was hardly in a partying mood when I saw the cake with the words
“Welcome to the Club” scrawled across it, but I tried to smile for the people who were at least trying to attempt to embrace me. It was a little late but I'd take hold of the olive branch with both hands.

Even Harold was there, not exactly smiling but I'd learned that was a rare occurrence.

“So you're officially one of us!” Murphy said handing me a slice of cake.

“
We're going to be besties,” Luck said, as she came to stand on my other side. “I'm so glad you're staying. Kitty just really wasn't very good female companionship. First thing we're doing Monday is going to Nordstrom’s, my treat.”

“
Do you get raises?” I asked, knowing I’d never be able to shop there on what I was getting.

“
No, Harold's a real cheapo. You just forgot who you're talking to. Couple trips to Vegas with me and we'll have you fixed up real good.”

“
Oh.” At least I wouldn't have to live on hot dogs forever.

Somebody turned the radio on and jacked
the volume all the way up on
One Headlight
by
The Wallflowers,
while Crow handed out glasses of heavily spiked punch.

And then Fate was there. All conversation stopped making the radio see
m especially loud. Kitty tried to hand him a piece of cake, but he declined without saying a word. His eyes scanned the room until they settled on me.

He didn’t come closer or say anything.

Just stared at me for a moment while I stared back. No one spoke.

Finally, after the moment stretched on past uncomfortable to almost unbearable, he shook his head and walked out.

“What's his problem? Who does that?” I heard one of the Jinxes say, after Fate was well out of hearing.

“
Someone pour shots!” Luck called from behind my left shoulder. “We need to get this party going.”

Everyone
resumed eating but the mood had been lost. I stayed until the little party died out and then I walked out to my Honda and faced the reality of my future.

“
Wait up!”

I turned to see Luck running out towards me.
“Where you going?”

“
The cond...home.”

“
No, not tonight.” She hooked an arm in mine and pulled out her phone and called up a door. “So far you've only seen the bad side of this gig. You and Fate aren't the only ones that overlap. I think it's time to see some of the perks.”

The doors sparkled in front of us, a casino visible on the other side. She tugged me through with her.

The minute we hit the floor, I heard the slot machines pick up their pace.

“
Some of my favorites are here tonight, over by the craps table. When we get there, you focus on the people with good karma.” She tugged me along with her. I realized that we had become visible to the crowd.

“
I can help them win?”

“
Oh darling, you have no idea what you can help them do, yet. But it’s not all about them tonight.”

She dug out a $1000 chip from her bra.

“What do I do with this?”

“
Seed money. Don't worry, you can't lose today.”

A little cheer went up from a group of three guys at the end of the table.
“There's my lady luck!” one of the guys screamed.

“
They don't know I'm actually her. They think I work in P.R.,” she whispered as we walked over.

“How do you know who to help win?”

“Me? I just help whomever I like. And I really like them.” She was staring at her little group of men. “Hi, boys! I want you to meet a friend of mine. She just loves to shoot dice.”

An hour later, we were on our third bottle of Crystal, I had a stack of chips in front of me that I couldn't even keep count of and the casino floor was on fire.
Every time I touched the dice, I rolled the point of someone with good karma at the table. Every time Luck rolled, she hit one of my numbers. It got to the point that the table only had us two rolling the dice and the people were two deep trying to get bets in.

The laughter was loud, and the spirits were high. Anni
e, a single mother of two who’d been dragged here on her birthday by her sister, won enough to put both her kids through college. Al, newly retired and here with his wife, won enough to buy their dream house. It would go down as one of the best days of their lives.

And me? I realized that, just ma
ybe, this wasn't the worst position in the world to be stuck in.

I placed a fern in my carriage. A potted plant might not seem like much but it was a big step. It meant I was staying. It would be the first mark of me in the condo that had
, up until now, been a short-term situation.

Kitty had offered me one of her kittens. Apparently, they weren't all naturally cut out for the work. I'd declined. I was having a hard enough time with a plant.

“You might be better off with a Jade. They don't need to be watered as much.”

I turned to see Paddy holding out one to me in the middle of the garden center.

I turned, making it obvious I wasn't interested in conversing with him.

“
The guards are normally so good about secrets. That whole non-talking thing usually makes them perfect co-conspirators but they like you. I get it. I like you, too.” His face scrunched in thought for a second. “Or it might have been the compound. No one has ever given them a gift before.”

I was torn between being too furious to speak to him and wanting to beat him in between the ferns and the hostas. As much as I hated the idea of even acknowledging his existence, I'd never been good about walking away from answers.

“If you like me so much, then why did you do that? Why get me stuck here when you knew I wanted to leave?”

“
Because I might need you.”

“With
recruiting
?”

“Okay, I’m not exactly a recruiter.”

“After what you did, do you really think I'd help you? I don't even know who you are.”

“
If it helps, I didn't do it just for me.”

“
You certainly didn't do what I wanted.”

“
No, and you should be grateful for that. What you want usually turns into a mess, anyway.”

“
You don't know that.”

“
I've seen you do it enough. What you’ve got is a curse and a blessing.”

“
What do you mean?”

“
You're immune to the forces more than anyone I've ever seen. Each life you've led it's gotten worse. We try and steer you left and you dig in and go right. Over and over again, fighting your path. Wrong career,
always
the wrong guy. I mean, I'm not saying you have to nail it exactly and get your soul mate in the first few go-arounds, but you pick the worst men for yourself. Then you screw them up too in the process
,
because even if they aren't supposed to be with you, your sheer force of will railroads over them until they agree with you.
”

“
Maybe I botched my relationship but you can't say I wasn't a brilliant lawyer.”

“
Yes I can. Half the cases you won were supposed to lose. You only won them because this thing you have, this force.

“
I used to curse you for it. It took a while, but I eventually started to admire it, a bit. Now it looks like I'm going to need it.”

“
If you wanted help, you should've asked. Not tried to force it from me.”

“
I couldn't take the chance. I need you where you are.”

“
I don't care what you need. You're on you're own.”

“
You'll come around. You're going to have to.”

“
Paddy, what the hell are you talking about?”

I turned around, ready to demand answers but he was gone. I didn't know who
Paddy was, and I decided I didn't care. Not today. Today was about owning my situation and making the best of things. I checked out and didn't notice I had a Jade plant until I got home.

A week had gone by since I'd become official.
To be honest, it wasn’t that bad. I was starting to find my place in the building. The Jinxes were teaching me to skateboard in the parking lot, Murphy brought me a fresh newspaper in with him every day. Even Harold was giving me fewer dirty looks—or maybe I was just getting used to them. It didn’t matter. I was realizing I could do this.

Luck had been the biggest
help. Ever since the night in Vegas, I’d realized this job wasn’t going to be all death and torture. I could make people happy.

I also
realized quickly that whether or not I was ready for a new best friend wasn't going to matter.
She
was ready, and she was tenacious.

But e
ver since the party, we'd found common ground and I really did enjoy her company. She was out there, did what made her happy and didn’t care what anyone else thought. In my opinion, she was fantastic.

So there I was
, out with Luck that Thursday night. We'd just finished dinner, mostly filled with chats about her current boyfriends—she had quite a few—when her eyes shot to the door. “Uh oh,” she said.

“
What?”

“
Fate is here and heading straight toward our table.”

“
He's here?” I hadn't seen him since the party and I knew it wasn't an accident. The time before that had been when he'd dropped me off at the hotel covered in blood. At this point, Fate and I were like a tricky tray of unresolved issues.

“
What are you doing?” I asked as I watched Luck grab her purse.

“
Did you see his face? He’s talking to you and there’s nothing I can do.”

“
So you're just abandoning me?”

Fate was at our table before she could reply.

“I've got to head out to Vegas.” She made her eyes big when she had her back to Fate, clearly sending a signal,
this should be fun
. “See you in a couple of days,” she said and left.

He stood there for a minute and we both apprised the other.
Fate still hadn't said a word and he took Luck’s chair. He stared across the table at me and I matched it. I thought not seeing him would help me, but it seemed to have only increased my awareness of him.

“
You said you were leaving. You lied.”

“
I didn't lie. I had every intention of doing so.” I sipped from my half empty martini glass.

“
It’s not over.”

“
I got my killer. I wish you and your companions luck but, for me, it’s over.”

“
It's too late. You know too much.”

“
Which I have no intention of repeating.”

He smiled as he
stood to leave and I thought the matter was settled. But instead of walking out, he came closer and leaned down next to my chair, his mouth near my ear. “You can't escape your fate.”

He
stood, turned and walked from the room.