Karma (Karma Series) (3 page)

“
I told you, don't come near me!”

He sighed and shook his head.
“Not the answer I wanted to hear. Always the hard way, no matter what we do, it always goes down like this with transfers. Look at your hands. It's getting worse already.”

I didn't need to look; I could feel the tremors running through my body. Nothing felt right anymore. They must have done something to me.

I eyed up the expanse. I knew this area like the back of my hand. I could lose him if I got a lead on him.

I took off in a sprint but only made it a few feet. An arm around my stomach hauled me off the ground and swung me back around toward the car and the open door. I knew it!

I kicked and clawed at his arm but nothing budged him. I screamed out of principle, even though I feared it was futile.

I jerked my head back to head butt him and heard a grunt.

“Don't do that again. The only thing it's going to do is piss me off.”

Now that I knew I'd found something effective, I tilted my head forward to try it again. He saw it coming though and I was on the ground and being pushed toward the car before I could take my shot.

“
Get. In.”

I'm not a quitter. Never have been, never will be. If he wanted me in that car, he was going to pay dearly for it. I clung to the frame of the door as he physically pushed me through. I felt stronger than I'd ever been but I was still no match for the man trying to force me inside and I was losing ground at a rapid rate. I flipped and kicked out with my legs, I came within an inch of my target.

He followed me inside the car and I immediately tried to make it to the other door but he caught me by my legs and yanked me back in.

“
Don't break her,” Harold said as I lay on my stomach on the one seat with a knee in my back.

I'd forgotten he was even there until he'd spoken.

“Don't bother getting up, Harold.”

At least he was winded.

“Seriously, Fate. If you injure her, it's going to be a lot of paperwork for me.” My cheek pressed against the seat cushion, I had a clear view of Harold as he waved the papers.

“
Unless you want to dodge a kick to the groin, shut up. She's my problem now, remember? I’m trying to help her and she almost took me out,” Fate said from above me, mostly out of sight but uncomfortably present in the pressure on my back.

Harold merely
“huffed” in response but said nothing while the bully on top of me continued.

“
You knew this was going to happen. This is why we shouldn't have transfers. If I let her up, she'll jump out the door. Is that better?”

“
I didn't get any other candidates. She wasn't my choice.”

I was being pinned down by a psychopath. I felt like I couldn't get enough air in my lungs and I renewed my struggle in earnest.

“Stop.” His knee pressed further into my back.

“
Look at her,” he said from above me. “She's a mess. You should just pass and send her on her way.”

“
It's too late now, anyway. She signed.”

“
You know as well as I do they never think logically right after they die. Just rip the contract up and send her back.”

“
I can't rip up the contract. She'll just have to adjust and deal until the trial period is over.” Harold was getting more and more flushed as the argument over me continued.

“
Give it to me and I'll do it.” Fate's hand reached out toward Harold, palm up and waiting.

“
I can't.”

“
Why?”

“
Because it's gone already.”

“
You're lying. It's not possible.” His weight lifted off me as he reached further toward Harold. It was just enough freedom to push the car door open and try and launch myself out of the moving car.

I saw the road speeding by inches from my nose before a hand on my shirt yanked me back in before I face planted it on the asphalt.

“Are you insane?” he said as he pushed me back onto the seat.

I opened my mouth to scream again but shut it. I'd almost tossed myself face first out of a car going fifty miles per hour. I would've broken my neck.

Maybe he was right, because that was a bit insane.

“
And it had to be her?” Fate said.

“
I showed you the memo. It had to be her and it had to be you.”

“
Why? She's just a girl. Murphy or Crow could've handled this.”

“
I don't know. She's a transfer. I'm not sure they could.”

“
Get off of me,” I said.

He leaned over, his face close to mine.

“Are you going to be stupid? If you try and leap out of the car again, you are going to kill this body and effectively die twice today.”

I didn't respond and he didn't let up.

“I can't breathe.”

“
Are. You. Going. To. Be. Stupid? Answer me.”

“
No.”

“
I don't know if I believe you.”

“
I'm not going to jump out of the car. Now get off!”

“
And no more kicking.”

I felt the pressure on my back retreat and I pushed up quickly. He was still sitting next to me, his side against mine, a looming threat. Or begrudging savior, considering I almost broke my neck, but I'd be quite happy to lose him and quick.

The adrenaline of the fight leaving me, I started to shake even more violently. Tears were flowing down my face and I didn't care. I was starting to believe I had died. I was pretty sure I was also having a mental break of some sort. Well whoop de do for me, checks all around.

I looked at Harold, trying to pretend Fate wasn't in the car.

“What was that back there? That feeling of impending doom when I saw Charlie?” Even with my sanity teetering on the edge, I knew it wasn't just in my head. It had been palpable.

“
That was the universe at work. There are certain things that it will not allow. Know this, and know it well...it will never let you disclose any of its true secrets.”

“
What would have happened?”

“
Exactly what you thought. That's why you stepped away, isn't it?” Fate spoke this time.

“
Why did you just drop me off if you knew this was going to happen?” Even in my altered state, and I was positive I wasn't thinking right anymore, I could see it as the set up it was. They'd dropped me off knowing exactly what I'd go do.

“
Transfers are predictable.” I could almost feel the baritone of Fate's voice. “They all do the exact same thing. Sooner or later it happens so we try and get it out of the way early. It's normally messy but not usually this bad.”

I sat back against the tan leather, tears still streaming down
my face and I realized I'd made the largest mistake of my life. Or death.

I was loosing my mind and Harold was still sitting there, his lap full of papers, just another day at the office.

Fate didn't budge from my side. I could feel the tension in his body where it pressed against my side. He was waiting for me to
do something stupid
.

“
I don't want to do this.” I kept shaking my head from side to side. “I wasn't ready. I don't want to die. I'm too young.”

Harold shook his head.
“Few do.”

Fate shifted next to me.
“Death isn't reserved for the old. It doesn't sit idly by and wait for you to do everything you wanted. It comes on its own timetable, whether you're ready or not.”

“
Then put me back or send me wherever? Send me where I was supposed to go.”

Harold barely glanced my way before he responded.
“I can't. Not now anyway. Even if I use the trial clause to terminate you, there is a mandatory thirty day period before you are eligible.”

He shuffled through the papers until he found the one he was looking for.

A sheet of paper was slipped in front of my face, his pen pointing to the spot that was in boldface that I knew stated a time period.

I pushed his hand and paper away and looked to the side.

“Thirty days. I'm stuck here, on Earth – alive but dead to everyone who matters to me.”

“
Yes.”

A month wasn't that long. I could kill a month. I dragged a hand across my cheek.
“If you could just drop me off at that condo and pick me up in a month when it's time—”

“
No, that won't work. Non-involvement voids the termination clause.”

I turned to Harold, ready to beg, flat out grovel if need be.
“I made a mistake. I thought I was going to be able to talk to them. I can't watch them grieve for me. I just can't. I can do anything but that.”

“
I knew Texas would've been a better fit.”

“
The location doesn't matter. I know they’re there.” I was having a hard time speaking. My teeth were rattling in my head like I was stuck in a snowstorm.

“
Look at her,” Fate said. “She might not make it anyway. Not all of them do.”

There was an edge to his voice that made me want to back further into the corner of the car.

“You should've passed when you saw it was a transfer.” He leaned forward, toward Harold, and I got the impression he wanted to throttle him. The way Harold leaned back, he seemed afraid of that exact thing.

“
How many times do I have to tell you I couldn't? I had to fill the spot.”

“
And I have to deal with this.”

“
This will run its course in a matter of days.”

And then I stopped caring what they were saying. Something very bad was happening to me. I couldn't stop shaking or catch my breath enough to get
a word out. I pulled my legs up and tried to shrink into myself. I closed my eyes and pretended I was alone. I needed to get a grip.

“
Camilla, this will pass,” I heard Harold say.

“
And if it doesn't?” Fate asked. “She's a wreck and it hasn't even been an hour. Can't imagine what she'll be like tonight. And if she doesn't make it, it's doing irreparable damage. She'll be a nut case in her next life.”

“
We needed a Karma. She's it, for better or worse. At least for the next thirty days.”

I wanted to know what he was talking about but I didn't trust myself to speak. And this was all
before
the real pain started.

“
You've got to eat.”

It was him. Fate. He was holding a sandwich next to my mouth and I tried to shove his hand away. Everything hurt. It felt like every nerve I possessed was on fire at the same time. My skin hurt where it touched the bed. I'd turn but that just made something else hurt.

“You're adjusting to not having your human covering anymore.”

Even the sound of his voice seemed to be louder.

“All of your senses are overly heightened right now, but this will only last another day or so.”

I moaned at the thought. Another day? I couldn't take another minute.

“I feel like I'm dying again.”

“
But you're not. I won't let you.” He pushed the sandwich to my lips. “Eat.”

I tried to shove the food away but he grabbed my wrist. The firm contact on my skin made me gasp but no matter how I pulled back, he wouldn't let go.

“Eat.” I took a bite of the sandwich just to get him to let me go.

“
Please, just leave me alone,” I said after I swallowed.

“
I wish I could.”

He wouldn't leave until I ate and drank some water. Then I passed out again.

***

I awoke in a strange bedroom that I guessed was in the condo I'd initially been given the keys to.

Sitting up, I felt surprisingly good, considering what I'd felt like a day ago.

I clearly remembered Harold driving us back to the condo. Beyond that point, all my memories were filtered through the lens of agony. I'm not sure how I made it to the bed I
was now lying upon. I was in the same clothes I'd worn when this all began, however long ago that was.

I pushed greasy locks of hair from my face as I looked to the bedside table. A sandwich, sitting barely eaten by my bedside, jogged a memory. I'd begrudgingly taken a few bites and only because of the threat of Fate, the animal that had stayed here with me.

Nursemaid he was not. All I remembered was while I'd writhed in pain, he'd screamed for me to toughen up. That I was being weak. When I wouldn't eat, he forced it on me.

I felt his presence in the room and I pushed myself up into a sitting position.

“So you're up?” he said, looking at my disheveled state. His features were hard and angular, nothing you would describe as pretty, but still if he wasn't such a scary bastard I would have described him as handsome.

“
Get out.”

“
You're welcome.”

“
You think I'm going to thank you?”

“
Somebody will come by tomorrow to bring you into the office.” He strolled out of the room and I heard the condo door shut.

So this was to be home for the next month. I looked around the bedroom. Everything was new, from the comforter to the dresser with the large mirror above it. There was an ocean painting hanging on the white walls, as if to clue you in that you were at a beach
, just in case you somehow forgot. The place looked like a summer rental before it acquired that well-worn look after a few seasons of use and profit.

The ceramic tile
s were cold under my feet as I crossed to the door, avoiding looking in the mirror, afraid to see the foreign reflection.

The rest of the place was quaint
, with a small galley type kitchen and a breakfast bar that opened to the main living area. All low-end beach motif decor that screamed don't forget where you are. Definitely a summer rental. It made sense. There would be fewer long-term residents asking nosy neighbor questions.

Glass sliders overlooked a view of the ocean and the people tanning on the sand. They were as blissfully unaware of
what might await them; as I had been, not long ago. I was jealous of them, lying there in the sun, just another day of living. I'd kill for one more day. A chance to say goodbye.

People often say a quick death is better. I guess in some ways it is
, but it sure didn't feel like it right now. Long deaths have one big benefit. You get to say goodbye. Nobody understands how important that is until there's no time for words.

But after everything, life still went on, even if mine technically didn't.

I walked back inside, turning away from the sunny beach, full of people. I felt too bitter to bear exposure to their happiness.

I looked down at the table, the phone Harold gave me lying there, dead. How ironic? When I was alive, I couldn't stand to be without my charged cell phone.

I walked past without touching it. I couldn't find a reason to plug it in. It would only serve as a reminder of who I couldn't call and what those people might be doing right now, like burying their child. They might be staring at the ground and grieving for a fiancée who was still here, but might as well be just as dead as the body in the casket for all it meant to their lives.

I pulled out a chair and sat at the white
-washed wood dinette by myself, wondering what in the hell I had agreed to.

My new body didn't let me stay in my catatonic state very long. A hungry growl erupted from my
midsection that made me realize, I might not be exactly human, but I seemed to have a lot of mortal needs. And I had to pee. That shouldn't be a big deal, but it was. I didn't know if I could go into the bathroom and
not
look at myself, but this body wasn't giving me any other option.

The need overcame my hesitancy and made it easy to make it into the bathroom without looking. Making it out was the problem. Who knew good hygiene would prove to be my downfall? If I could've just not looked up when I was washing my hands.

I let out a small sound when I saw the image. It was me. I knew this face, this body, that there would be a mole on my left knee if I looked, but this wasn't the body that I'd just left dead and mangled. It wasn't the face of my parents’ daughter or the image of Charlie's fiancée.

Staring with gray eyes that were eerily similar to the ones I'd had before my death, I raised a hand to my almost black hair, so different than the
blond I'd been. I touched my cheek, watching my actions mirrored. I was prettier than I had been in life. My eyes were a little bigger. I ran a finger across a fuller lower lip.

A knock on the door jolted me from my intense fascination with my new image.

Harold walked in before I could get there.

“
I thought you weren't coming until tomorrow?”

“
I wouldn't have, if you'd answered your phone.”

We both stared at the dead phone sitting on the table.

“It's...dead. I know.” Dead, dead, dead, just like me. I couldn't seem to get past that word.

“
Please keep it charged from now on.”

If it were only so easy to fix my own dead state.

“Why do I recognize myself when I don't look like I used to?”

He was already looking down at papers he was holding in his hand.

“Harold?”

He looked up
, as if not understanding the question and then the details seemed to click into place for him.

“
Oh, that. I always forget transfers don't remember.” He scribbled on his paper a moment before he finally continued. He swirled a finger, encompassing me. “This is how you really look and will look in your true form for all of eternity. If you go to heaven, hell, purgatory or whatever is beyond, this is your form. That body in the ravine was just a shell, a loosely formed portrait. When your essence is squeezed into a mortal mold, it never matches up the same.”

I toyed with a lock of my hair, still adjusting to the different texture.
“So I've always looked like this on some level? I guess I figured you would give me a new body or something.”

“
Well, that's silly. You think we have stray bodies just lying around?”

“
Uh, I guess...”

He actually rolled his eyes at me before he tucked his papers into the case he was holding.

“Do you have everything you need?”

I shrugged, having no idea exactly what I should need.
“Not sure.”

“
There's food in the fridge and my number is on the phone if you ever get around to charging it. I'll be back tomorrow morning for you.”