KATE GOSSELIN: HOW SHE FOOLED THE WORLD - THE RISE AND FALL OF A REALITY TV QUEEN (42 page)

Reading those posts, Kate would have us believe that her children, including the six who were 7 years old at the time she wrote those blogs, were “plotting and thinking” about her Mother’s Day celebration for weeks. Not likely, unless she was mentioning it to them every day for weeks. Kids pretty much live in the here and now, and just one week can seem like an eternity to them. Kids will think ahead to the biggest, most exciting holidays of the year and to their birthdays, which are all about them, but Mother’s Day would barely register as a blip on their radar until it was almost upon them.

Let’s take a moment to review some more of Kate’s words in these posts. Kate says the “greatest gift” is to show your mom “that she’s not forgotten,” that “she’s really important,” and that “you’re really thankful for her.” That’s such beautiful sentiment. Coming from Kate, it is sheer hypocrisy. Her words must only apply to HER being showered with appreciation and gratitude; because Kate is certainly not showing that same respect to her own mother, who she has conspicuously cut from her and her children’s lives.

Kate also uses that word “tradition” again. There are absolutely zero “traditions” in the Gosselin children’s lives. There are a lot of manufactured events that she wants the public to believe are traditions. A “tradition” to Kate Gosselin means that TLC filmed her doing something with or for the kids one time, and she wants you to believe it happens that way year after year.

INDIFFERENCE

I have heard Kate say some incredibly hurtful things to Jon and her children. Here is a look at their daily reality through some of Kate’s actual words:

“You’re costing me even MORE money!!!

“We’re late because of you!!!

“Shut up. Go away. Don’t bother me!”

If you were to go through every episode of
Jon & Kate Plus Ei8ht
, you could fill several pages with statements just like those that Kate has made to her children.

The scariest part about this is that she spoke to them like that while television cameras were filming. Most people being filmed would be acutely aware of their actions and would hold back from doing
anything ugly and mean. They would put their best face forward for the world to see. If what Kate showed us is her best face, just imagine what life is like for the Gosselin children inside of that house with no cameras rolling.

At the time of their divorce, when Kate was splitting time at the house with Jon, she would always leave a list for Jon of things she wanted him to take care of at home when he had the kids. These were things that she was just too “busy” to do. Like doctor’s appointments, clothes shopping, filling the gas tank on the big blue bus, etc. Kate
always
left a list for Jon.

I remember when little Lexi had been sick and complained about it to Kate for four days, but Kate put off helping her until Jon had custody. She left him a note telling him to take her to the doctor. It turned out that Lexi had strep and had been suffering with an infected throat and a fever for days. But Kate felt it could wait a few more days until Jon had custody. Caring for her sick child just wasn’t a priority for her. During those days, I followed Kate as she went to the tanning salon numerous times, got her nails done, and made countless trips to the Target shopping center, all without any children along to bother her. It was all about Kate - all day, every day. She had time for herself, but not for her sick child.

Kate’s indifference to the needs of her children is astonishing. A perfect example of this was highlighted by something I learned secondhand and from reading Kate’s journal and emails. Several years ago, when Jon and Kate were out to dinner doing a magazine interview, they received a call from their manager, who was back at their house watching the kids. One of the little girls had accidentally slammed one of the boy’s fingers in the bathroom door and nearly cut the end of his finger off. He was left with a fracture that required stitches. Such news would have sent most parents flying out of the restaurant and home to care for their child, but not Kate. She told Jon to go and handle it while she stayed at dinner to continue the interview. This is the type of scenario that plays out with Kate Gosselin every day, like clockwork.

Instead of being at home with her kids, Kate always manages to fill her day running errands by herself while the kids stay behind with a babysitter or nanny. If she truly enjoyed spending time with her children, and it was important to her, wouldn’t it be better to have her paid assistants do the menial tasks and errands so she could spend time mothering her kids?

If not for a reality television show, how was Kate planning to support her large family, back in the very beginning, when she decided to undergo fertility treatments in the first place?

“All faith was in God to deliver?”

Did God want Kate to treat the kids this way?

To leave them with strangers?

To beat them?

To emotionally and physically abuse them?

If not for television, how was she going to support her family?

CLEAR AS MUD

Children need structure and consistency to help them learn appropriate behavior and to develop self-confidence. Kate does many, many things to confuse and frustrate her children, and then she wonders why they might not be perfect like she wants them to be. She’s inconsistent on a daily basis in how she teaches and disciplines them, and they act accordingly.

While doing research for this book, I watched Kate with the kids, over many months. I also bought and watched every episode of
Jon & Kate Plus Ei8ht
. As a loving parent, it was painful to sit through the shows. There are many examples of Kate sending contradictory and conflicting messages to her children. For instance, what kind of mother would say this to her 4-year-old children when showing them their new house for the first time?

“Do you see this room? Honestly, you will never open this door and come in here again. No one will be found in here. If you do, severe punishment! Mommy and daddy need their privacy and we haven’t had any for a good four years now. Excuse me! I’m talking! Come in here! Now Jon, you can help by standing in here instead of wandering. Let’s have you talk. Speak!!

“Excuse me, severe punishment if you come in here. We need privacy. You may knock on our door. You will never open our door and walk in. That’s rude. Understand?”

Never mind that the only reason Kate was able to move into her giant house was because her beautiful children worked to put her there. That fact always seems to escape Kate’s notice. She thinks it’s all about her.

So now, on what was supposed to be an incredibly happy day, when Kate was showing her children their new $1.3 million dollar home in the country, she turned it into an opportunity to threaten them about something that could have and should have been handled in a much less stressful way.

If you had the stomach for it, you could go through each episode, one at a time, and document Kate’s words and actions, identifying the behavior she exhibited that might have led to her children’s own behavioral problems, and that certainly led to marriage problems between Kate and Jon.

Kate has no emotional connection with any of her children. It is obvious from viewing her interactions with them that there was never any bonding between Kate and her kids. She always had Jon and many other people bathing them, feeding them, and doing everything for them, while she made lists and barked orders and sat back and watched.

Even to this day
, Kate treats her children not as individuals, but as groups. It is the “twins” and the “little kids” or the “littles.” They must dress alike and do everything together. There is absolutely zero individuality promoted by Kate.

The “little kids” all wake up at different times, but are forced to stay in their rooms until they are all awake before they can come downstairs. They’re told to put a DVD in the player and entertain themselves, sometimes for several hours until they are all up, dressed and ready to come downstairs. I’ve known about this for several years, but recently Kate was silly enough to reveal this fact to the world during a local radio interview on Berks County’s Y102.

During the “Day In The Life” episode of Season 3, poor little Aaden was sick and trying to throw up. This should have been a private moment for any person. Kate should have closed the door and taken care of and comforted her son with no one watching or filming. Instead, she held the throw-up bucket for him and allowed the camera to get right in his face with the sound boom mic hanging just overhead. As a parent watching that, it was embarrassing and disgusting. Kate thought it would make great TV.

Kate talks about being “consistent” with the children regarding discipline, but she doesn’t practice what she preaches. In that same “Day In The Life” episode, Kate throws a dirty diaper at Jen Stocks, who was the show’s writer/director/producer at the time, right in front of the kids. Kate and Jen both laugh about it and have a great time. The kids see this behavior from Kate, so they would obviously conclude that it is OK to disrespect someone like that. How is a child supposed to understand what they can and cannot do when they get spanked or put in time out for small infractions like talking when they’re not supposed to, but they see their mother laughing about throwing a diaper filled with pee and poop at another person?

“THE SEXTUPLETS TURN 4”

For the sextuplet’s third birthday, Kate and TLC threw them an elaborate, carnival-themed party in the front and back yards of their house, complete with clowns, pony rides, games, cotton candy, and friends and family. But one year later, according to Kate, “They didn’t want a repeat of the fun-filled day, opting instead to do something small.”

Offering my opinion as just an objective parent, that alone sounds far-fetched. Offering my opinion as someone who knows the Gosselin kids personally as I do, it is completely untrue.

I can just imagine how that discussion would play out at my house, with my kids being the same age as the sextuplets:

Me: “Kids, would you rather have a carnival in the back yard, with all your friends and games and pony rides and popcorn and cotton candy, or would you rather have a small family day?”

Kids: “What, are you kidding me? CARNIVAL!! CARNIVAL!!!”

During the show, Kate’s exact words were, “They wanted a family day. They did not want a carnival again. Much to my dismay…”