Keep You From Harm (26 page)

I’m not sure how long I stay this way before I hear my phone ringing. At first, I don’t want to answer it, but then I think of Lucas and his concerned instruction about not ignoring his calls. When I pull it from my pocket, I feel relieved to see that it’s him. “Hi,” I answer, knowing I don’t sound like myself.

“Hey, beautiful. Want to do something tonight?”

His good cheer is so misplaced that I can’t form a response. Soon I’m crying, and I hear Lucas asking me what’s wrong. When I don’t answer, he begins yelling over the phone.

I’m more trouble for him than I’m worth. Here I am, having another crisis. He’s going to get tired of this, tired of me, and I won’t blame him when he does.

I make an effort to calm myself down enough to talk. “I’m on the corner of Main and Hillside. Please come get me,” I whisper.

“Don’t move,” he orders, sounding panicked. “I’ll be right there.”

I rub my eyes and pull in a shaky breath as I realize that I’m covered in dirt. Brushing myself off, I move out onto the sidewalk. I’ve hardly waited at all when his familiar truck appears down the road. It screeches to a stop in front of me, and Lucas jumps out. His eyes grow wide at the sight of me.

“Damn it, Ray! What the hell happened?” he yells, coming toward me.

Once he’s standing on the sidewalk in front of me, I’m so relieved to have him here; I just want to burrow into his arms. Instead, I release a lungfull of air. “I think I had a little breakdown,” I answer feeling both drained and foolish, hoping none of this is real but knowing it is.

His brows furrow as he grabs the tops of my arms and leans down to look into my eyes. “What do you mean you had a little breakdown?”

I stare into two blue pools filled with concern for me. “Alec just told me he hired Rob Jarvis to kill my mother,” I say, hearing the odd monotone sound of my voice.

His startled gaze searches mine. “What? He told you that?”

I nod. “Your instincts were right about Jarvis. Alec asked my mother to heal Penelope. When she wouldn’t do it, he had us watched to find out if I could heal, too. Once he knew I could, he had her killed so that I’d have to come here.”

He leans back from me and runs a hand through his hair. “Jesus,” he breathes out.

“He told me for a reason, Lucas. He wants me to give her disease to him. He’s willing to sacrifice himself to save her. He only confessed to me when I refused to do what he was asking.”

I can see the shock tightening his face as he processes this new twist.

“You should have seen his cold eyes when he told me,” I say, shaking my head. “Remorse was the furthest thing from his mind. There was absolutely none.”

He places his hands on my shoulders. “Am I understanding this right? You wouldn’t give him a death sentence. So he confessed this to you so you’d believe he deserves one?”

“Yes,” I reply, watching his reaction.

He looks up at the sky. I can see he’s trying to make sense of all I’ve told him. Then he zeros in on me again and pulls me to him. “What do you want to do?”

I hesitate before answering, worrying what he’ll think of me. “I told him I’d do it.”

He pulls back to look at me. “You don’t have to. You could go to the police.”

I nod at his suggestion. “I will go to the police, after I’ve cured Penelope.”

“Are you sure? Can you live with that?” he asks.

“Would it make me a terrible person if I said that I could?” I ask, fearing his response almost as much as I’m fearing myself right now and the fact that I think I can live with this decision if it means saving Penelope.

“If I were you,” he says, “I’d do it in a heartbeat.” His tone is one of absolute certainty.

His confident answer surprises me even as it lifts some of the heaviness inside me. But I’ll be crossing a line by doing this. I can’t help but wonder if my grandmother was always so evil and selfish or if she crossed a similar line at some point. Did that turning point make the next time easier and the time after that until she completely lost her way?

“When does he want to do it?” Lucas asks.

“Tomorrow.”

He begins to usher me toward his truck. “I’m going to be there with you.”

“No!” I stop and turn toward him. “I don’t want you near Alec. He’s obviously dangerous.”

Lucas’s hands go right to his hips. “Are you fucking serious? You just made the perfect argument for my being there.”

I open my mouth to protest again.

His eyes close as he fights for patience. “Please get in the truck, Ray. I’m going to be with you when this goes down, and I’m not arguing with you about it.”

I lose steam when I see his resolute expression. Then I seal my lips together and let him help me inside. I really don’t want him there. I’ve never done this before, and I’m afraid something unexpected could happen, like the disease not going where I tell it to. I’d rather no one but Alec and me be within one hundred miles of Penelope when I try this.

“Kyle and Chloe don’t know what Alec did,” I warn him on the drive back. “Please don’t say anything.”

The muscle in his cheek tightens. “You really believe that?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Kyle should know what his father did to his mother. What he’s doing to you.” His hands tighten on the wheel.

“He has enough to worry about.”

“And you don’t?” He shoots back at me.

“Please, Lucas.” I sink tiredly into the seat.

“Fine,” he bites out. “But I think you’re wrong.”

Kyle and Chloe are surprised to see me arrive home with Lucas. “He’s staying for a while,” I tell them. “You don’t have to edit yourselves. He knows everything.”

Kyle appears stricken when he looks at me. “My father just called. I’m sorry he was the one who spoke to you about this, Raielle. I wanted to talk to you myself. I wanted to make sure you’re really okay with this and let you know you have a choice here.”

Lucas grunts his disbelief from beside me. “Let’s get you cleaned up,” he says, starting to lead me away.

“What happened to you?” Chloe asks, speaking for the first time.

The muscle in Lucas’s jaw ticks.

“I fell,” I explain quickly, before Lucas can say anything.

“
Right
after
she talked to your father,” Lucas adds.

Kyle’s expression sinks even further. “Raielle, no one wants him to have to do this. I wanted it to be me when he told me how this works. But I also want to see my daughter grow up too badly to fight him on this. I can’t tell you how grateful we are that you’re agreeing to do it.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Chloe asks, but it’s more like an accusation. “You didn’t say anything about this possibility.”

Lucas pulls me closer to him. In this moment, her feelings are completely transparent. She’s afraid of me and of what I can do. She’s always known about it, just like Kyle, and it scares her. If she had a choice, she’d have nothing to do with me. I don’t even bother answering her.

“Come on.” Lucas turns me away from them and leads me toward the bathroom.

I stand there like a statue while he runs my hands under warm water and gently soaps the dirt from my skin. I could do this myself, but I don’t stop him. We eye each other in the mirror while he takes care of me.

“The marks on your neck are gone,” he points out.

My eyes travel down to the area where the bruises once were. That only reminds me of how my grandmother’s healing powers went so wrong with Lucas’s mother. “You shouldn’t come tomorrow,” I tell him, watching his reflection.

He pauses for a moment. Then he turns off the water and hands me a towel.

“Lucas.”

“What?” he asks on a tired sigh. Then he turns from the mirror to look me in the eye. “If the situation were reversed, would you stay away if I asked you to?”

I glance down at my now clean hands. “Probably not.”

He places his fingers under my chin and lifts my face to his. “Then how can you honestly think I would let you do this alone?” His eyes search mine. “What am I to you, Ray?”

I blink in confusion at his question.

“Am I just a casual fling?” he asks.

I pull my chin away and stare at him defiantly. Why would he ask me this now? He knows better. “No,” I reply.

“We’re more than that, aren’t we?”

“Yes,” I whisper, hating that after all we’ve been through, this simple truth is still so hard for me to admit.

“Good,” he nods. “So quit acting like you’re in this alone. I know you’ve always only had yourself to rely on, but that’s not the case anymore. Stop pushing me away. One of these days, I might actually think you mean it.”

I back away from him. “I’m trying to protect you, you idiot.”

He puts his hands on his hips. “Well cut that shit out. It just pisses me off.”

We stare at each other for a moment, the fact that we’ve just admitted our feelings run deeper than the typical high school romance dances in both our eyes, but it’s overshadowed by the turmoil that surrounds us.

Lucas relents first, gradually leaning toward me and kissing the side of my head.

I still wish he wasn’t going to be here for his own protection, but I’m also grateful I’ll have him with me.

“We ordered pizza,” Kyle says when we make our way back to the living room. “Alec will be over around seven tomorrow night. He said he had some things to take care of first. Personal business to see to.”

The simple act of ordering pizza seems incongruous in light of what’s gone on tonight. “I don’t think it will be instant,” I say, understanding what Kyle is implying about Alec’s personal business. “You won’t lose Alec right away. At least I don’t think so.” I don’t know this for sure, but I believe he will have however much time Penelope has left.

Kyle sinks his hands deep into his pockets and disappears into the kitchen. The next hour passes slowly. Lucas calls his brother to let him know he’s having dinner at my house. We all sit and pick at our pizza in strained silence. Chloe feeds Penelope cut up pieces. Penelope is subdued and her listlessness breaks at my heart.

After dinner, Lucas reluctantly goes home after I assure him, multiple times, that I’ll be fine. Then I disappear downstairs, hoping that Kyle won’t seek me out for another conversation about their monumental decision. I’m relieved when he doesn’t make an appearance. In the silence of my room, I have all night to spend alone with my anxiety. It makes for miserable company as I toss and turn restlessly, fearful of what tomorrow may bring.

T
he
tension in the room is so thick, it’s hard to breath. Getting through this interminable day has been excruciating. Although now, I hardly remember any of it. I know I went to school, and I know that Lucas found several opportunities to get me alone, to make sure I was all right, and to let me know that he would help me talk to everyone and call off what’s about to happen tonight if that’s what I wanted. But I’ve purposely not dwelled on what’s coming. Kyle and his family have lived this day with renewed hope. I couldn’t imagine taking that away from them now.

“Where do you want everyone?” Kyle asks. “I think Penelope will need to lie down on the couch.”

“That’s fine,” I agree. “Alec and I could sit in front of her in a couple of chairs and the rest of you could maybe go outside.”

“I’m not going outside,” Lucas predictably says.

“Why outside?” Kyle asks.

I let out a deep breath. “I’ve never done this before. I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

“What does that mean?” Chloe asks. “What could happen? How much worse could this get?”

“She’s saying she doesn’t know,” Lucas answers for me. “She’s just trying to keep everyone safe.”

“We’re staying, too,” Kyle says. Then he walks into the dining room to retrieve the chairs.

A loud knock sounds just as the front door opens. Alec lets himself in and finds us in the living room. The moment I see him I can feel my body tensing. I glance at Lucas, and he looks like a volcano about to erupt.

“Are we ready?” Alec asks, glancing around the room. He appears anxious, but undeterred.

“Does Linda know?” Chloe asks.

Alec shakes his head. “I saw no need to upset her.”

I nearly scoff at his reply. He can have my mother killed, but he doesn’t want to upset his girlfriend?

“You don’t have to do this, Dad,” Kyle says

Alec gives his son a sad look. “Yes, I do.” Then he turns to me. “How do we start?”

Before we begin, Kyle and Chloe take turns hugging Alec and thanking him. Lucas embraces me. “You can still change your mind,” he whispers. When I shake my head, he says, “You’ll do fine. Trust yourself.” Now that the moment is here, I’m ready for it. And I do trust myself. I have a strange confidence that I can’t explain.

Kyle carefully places Penelope on the couch. “Do I sit here?” Alec asks me, pointing to the chairs.

I nod as I walk out of Lucas’s arms and take my place in the chair beside Penelope. Alec lowers himself into the chair next to me. Behind me, I can hear Kyle’s erratic breathing, and I know he’s heartbroken. He’s getting his daughter back, but losing his father in the process.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes for a moment to both calm myself and focus my concentration. I wait for everyone in the room to settle. I can feel the anxiety in the air, and I try to block it out. Once I’m ready, I pick up Penelope’s small hand at the same time I hold out my other hand for Alec’s. I try not to wince when he grips it.

The feeling is the same as the first time I touched Penelope. The energy is there, but it’s weak. I have to fan it like an ember. I focus my attention on the tiny spark, and soon it begins to build inside me. The coil of energy swirls and gains momentum before it gradually unwinds and travels down through my hand and into Penelope’s. Like before, she becomes more alert, and her curious eyes find mine. I direct the energy up to her brain, but before it can hitch and try to turn back, I force it along her entire nervous system, down her spine and out to the tips of her fingers and toes. I fill her with it, sensing it flow through her. The energy resists my commands. It tries to return to me. The feeling that this is wrong, seriously wrong, permeates me, but I ignore it. Instead, I dig deep and push harder, until my entire body vibrates with power. I’ve never felt it this strongly before. All my nerve endings seem to spark inside me.

I squeeze my eyes shut as I chip away at the tumor inside her brain, dislodging its hold on her. Even as I’m focused on it, I can feel the rest of her disease lying in waiting, sealed inside her, planning to grow new tumors that will steal more of her away from us. And I push harder, going after every last bit of it.

When I hear a gasp, my eyes open causing my focus to return to the room. I suck in a breath when I see that Penelope’s body is several inches off the couch. She’s suspended in the air, and I’m holding her there. I pray that I’m not hurting her, that this is working as it’s meant to. Once I know the energy has touched every part of her disease, I start to bring it back to me. There is no exhilaration in this healing. There is no euphoria. Everything about the way this feels tells me not to complete the process. The energy doesn’t want to remove this terrible thing inside her. I pull harder on it, feeling the sweat begin to trickle down my back. My body starts shaking so violently the chair legs beneath me bang against the floor. I vaguely register Lucas’s worried voice, and I’m not sure how much longer I can keep this up, when the coil suddenly snaps back at me, retreating from Penelope’s body and burrowing deep inside me.

Penelope drops down onto the couch cushions. I grip Alec’s hand firmly as I try to push the energy toward him. But it’s fading, slowly smoldering, as the disease spreads inside me, crawling under my skin and drifting down my spine. My body is absorbing it too quickly. I can’t harness it. I have no chance to grab it and move it out of me. Suddenly, something becomes very clear. I’m Penelope’s family. She’s my niece, and I am the place where the disease has found its new home.

I release both Penelope’s and Alec’s hands.

“Is it done?” Chloe asks, hovering behind me.

I slowly nod.

Penelope turns her head toward her mother. Then she slowly sits up and smiles brightly. “Hi, Mommy,” she says.

Chloe cries out in relief, dashing to her daughter, and pulling her into a hug. Kyle’s there, too, embracing his family with tears in his eyes. “Can I have some milk?” Penelope asks, and I hear Chloe laughing softly at this simple request.

Lucas crouches down in front of me. “Are you okay?”

I don’t answer. I turn to look at a confused Alec.

“That’s it?” he asks, peering down at his hand.

In that moment, I decide not to tell him. He doesn’t deserve to know. Then I decide not to tell anyone. “It’s done,” I say. When I try to stand, my knees buckle. Lucas grabs me, his face sharp with worry. “You’re not okay,” he states.

I feel the need to wipe his concern away. I push at him as I straighten my legs and show him that I can stand. I’m shaky, but I’m doing it.

Kyle approaches us, and he wraps his arms around me. “Thank you, Raielle. Thank you for giving her back to us.”

I don’t say anything, but I return his embrace. It’s the first embrace we’ve given each other. When he releases me, Chloe surprises me with a quick hug of her own, before once again gathering her daughter to her.

“How are you feeling?” Kyle asks Alec.

“Okay so far,” he replies.

Lucas is hovering over me, and I just want to be alone. “I’m tired,” I tell everyone. “I’m going to lie down.”

Kyle appears unsure as he thanks me again. I can see that he believes his words are wholly inadequate for what just happened. Alec also offers his appreciation even as I’m turning away from him.

Lucas walks me down to my bedroom. He pulls me close as we stand in the darkness, not bothering with the lights.

“You’re amazing,” he says. My head is resting on his shoulder. I can hardly believe how calm I am. Already, I can feel something inside me pressing against my lower spine.

“She was in the air. You had Penelope levitating. It was un-fucking-believable,” he laughs softly, and I can feel his warm breath in my hair. He leans down and kisses me. When he tries to deepen it, I pull away.

“I’m sorry, I just want to lie down,” I say, backing toward the bed.

His brow furrows, but he quickly smoothes it out. “Of course,” he says. “After what you did tonight, you’ve earned some rest. You’re still okay with this, right? You don’t have any regrets?”

I smile and shake my head because it’s true. I don’t have any regrets about saving Penelope’s life. Considering what I had planned to do, this outcome is the right one. I’m not a killer. I’d been fooling myself because I wanted to help Penelope so badly. Now I believe things worked out as they were meant to.

When Lucas leaves, I change into my pajamas and sink down into my bed. My hands tremble as I pull the covers up to my chin. I’m frightened of what might be happening inside me, of what tomorrow will bring, and if I’ll even wake up in the morning. My lower back aches too badly to get comfortable, and I close my eyes, attempting to use my energy to assess the damage. My eyes pop open in surprise when I feel it ignite. I’ve always needed the touch of another person to build the power inside me. I’ve never felt it on my own. I’ve never been able to muster anything when I had cuts or bruises that I tried to heal. But my power has been changing. I’ve felt it change. Somehow, it’s been getting stronger. Without questioning it further, I push the energy toward the tumors in my back. When I immediately feel them start to shrink, I laugh softly, confused but overcome with sweet relief. I release a sigh into the night.

Just as my exhausted body begins to fade to sleep, I hear someone padding down the stairs. I don’t open my eyes. I don’t want any more gratitude tonight. Somehow I know that it’s Kyle standing there watching me. I can feel him breathing quietly in the room. I can sense his bittersweet joy. After several heavy, silent minutes, he turns around and slowly heads back upstairs.

M
y
eyes open gradually to the sunlight streaming into my room. As I slowly come aware, the events of last night hit me all at once. Penelope is cured. I smile at that. Alec is not going to get his punishment in the form of her disease. My smile fades when I think of him. Today, I’m going to call the detective who interviewed me back in San Diego. I’m going to make Alec pay the right way, at the hands of the law.

I rub my eyes and take a deep breath. Then I sit up slowly and grunt in pain. It’s my lower spine again. My chest tightens at the realization that the tumors grew back overnight. I didn’t heal myself. Not only that, I can feel two more lumps under the skin of my arm just before my wrist. I’ve grown new tumors. I try to slow my breathing to staunch the panic. Then I lie back down and repeat what I did last night. I concentrate and try to call up the familiar energy inside me. Once I feel it, I send it out to the pain. It works again. The tumors fade, but now I know, it’s only a temporary fix.

I sit up in bed and stare sightlessly across the room. I don’t understand what’s happening. I don’t know how long I can do this. I don’t know how fast the disease will progress. Will it get so bad that I can’t control it anymore? I have no idea what this means for me. I sit there listening to the morning routine occurring in the rooms above me. I know I can’t just stay in bed all day. The last thing I want is for Kyle to learn what really happened. I need to survive the next three weeks, to finish school, and then leave with everyone still believing it all worked as planned. I want Penelope to have her happy family. I want that so badly for her. So I do the only thing I can. I get ready for school, deciding to stick to my routine until I can figure something else out. When I go upstairs for breakfast, everyone is there. I pause in the doorway.

Kyle notices me first. “Sit down. Chloe made pancakes.”

“Mine have chocolate chips in them,” Penelope says, craning her neck around to look at me.

I sit down and take a sip of the juice that’s already been poured for me.

“I know our gratitude makes you uncomfortable,” Kyle begins. “So, we’ll just say this one more time as a family. Thank you, Raielle. “

“Thank you,” Chloe smiles at me.

“Thank you!” Penelope screeches, holding her fork above her head. Then she drops it and giggles when it clanks on the floor.

I smile at her mischievous antics, and I can feel the tears building. “You’re welcome,” I say. Then I take a deep breath and eat a few bites to appease them before heading out the door.

At school, I’m able to act as though nothing is wrong around everyone but Lucas. Somehow, he always sees through me. At lunchtime, I tell him I’m going outside to call the police in San Diego. When he insists on coming with me, I blow up at him. He’s been scrutinizing my every move all day, and I finally lose my cool.

“I can make a phone call by myself. Will you please leave me the fuck alone for two minutes?!” I yell at him. The hallway is filled with students, all focused on me now.

His jaw clenches. He opens his mouth to say something. Then he snaps it shut again and storms away.

I’m a wreck when I finally make it outside. First, I look up the main number of the police station. When I call it, I ask for Detective Brady. Then I get transferred to his voicemail. I leave my name and number and the reason I’m calling. Then I stay outside by myself for the rest of lunch. Just as I’m heading back in, my phone rings.

“Ms. Blackwood?”

I immediately recognize the voice that spoke to me on that traumatic day not so long ago. “Hi.”

“I’m putting a recorder on. I want you to repeat everything you said on your message. I might interrupt you with some questions, but I need to tell you I’m recording this conversation.”