Keep You From Harm (25 page)

I nod, feeling more tears spilling down my face.

Kyle presses his fingers against his bloodshot eyes. Abruptly, he removes them and takes a deep breath. “Should I send Lucas down?”

My throat is too tight to talk so I only nod and watch him quickly retreat.

I stand there waiting, but I don’t bother straightening my matted hair and my wrinkled clothes before Lucas appears at the bottom of the steps. He fills the doorway with his broad shoulders and his powerful presence. His concerned eyes travel over me as he approaches. “I’ve been calling you all day. I was worried about you.”

I wonder why I’ve avoided him today when just his being here already seems to give me some comfort.

“Have you been crying?” he asks, standing before me now, pushing a lock of hair behind my ear.

I throw myself at him, wrapping my arms around his strong shoulders, and burying my face in the crook of his neck.

“Hey,” he whispers gently. His arms encircle me and he presses me to him. “What is it?”

I don’t answer. I just let him hold me as his warmth seeps inside me, easing the chill of this terrible day. He doesn’t question me again. He just stands there, holding me safely in his arms, patiently waiting me out. When I finally do release him, I’m ready to explain myself. I find that I want to.

“It’s Penelope,” I begin. Then I tell him everything that’s occurred since this morning.

W
e’re
sitting on my bed. Lucas is leaning back against the pillows, and I’m lying between his legs with my back pressed to his chest and his arms around me.

“That’s what you were afraid of when I asked you to help Liam. Wasn’t it?” he asks.

Beneath me, I can feel the rumble of his voice inside his chest. “Yes.”

“If you couldn’t have helped him, do you think that would make me feel differently about you?”

My response is immediate. “I know you would. How could you not?”

He sighs heavily. I feel his warm breath on my neck. “You don’t know anything, Ray.”

I know he wants to believe it wouldn’t change his feelings, and I’m glad that we won’t have to find out if it’s true. “How is your mother today?” I ask, running my hands over the back of his, which are splayed out over my stomach.

“She’s doing better. She wanted to stay inside today, but we convinced her to go shopping to buy some new clothes. My dad got home this afternoon and nearly keeled over in shock. I have my family back, Ray. You did that. You did an amazing thing for us. I’m sorry you can’t do that for your family. I truly am. But that doesn’t make any of this your fault. You know that, right?”

I shrug. “I know it, and I don’t know it.”

He picks me up and sets me beside him so we’re face to face. “You need to know it,” he states with a determined look. “The news about Penelope is devastating. But not being able to heal her doesn’t make you responsible for what’s happening to her. You have to learn how to deal with this. It won’t be the last time this happens.”

“But this time, it’s Penelope,” I say.

“Next time it could be someone else who’s close to you. Your healing has limits. You have to find a way to deal with that. A better way than your mother did.”

My spine stiffens at his warning and at his implied criticism of my mother, but then I nod. I know he’s right.

He cups my cheek and leans into me for a kiss. I sigh when his soft lips touch mine. Our breaths mingle as he tenderly massages my mouth with his, never deepening the kiss, knowing this closeness is what I need now. I couldn’t handle more. “I don’t want to leave you like this tonight,” he says when he finally breaks away.

I glance around, surprised to find that it’s already dark. “I’ll be fine.” I lay my head on the pillow and gaze up at his handsome face. His square jaw is covered in the dark stubble I felt tickling my skin just a moment ago. “I bet this is more drama than you’ve ever had in a relationship. You probably weren’t expecting this when you met me,” I comment dryly.

His eyes flicker with humor. “Ray, you blew up all my expectations the moment I laid eyes on you. Nothing about you is what I expected. Do you know what the most unexpected thing is?”

I shake my head, having no idea what he’s going to say.

“Knowing that everything we do, you’re doing it for the first time with me. No one has ever made you feel the way I want to make you feel every time we’re together. When I’m finally inside you, I’ll be your first, and I’ll know that no one has ever done the things I’m going to do to you. You’re not what I expected, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

I stare silently at him. I’m speechless. He’s never talked about those things before. I didn’t think I was ready to hear them until he used the words
finally inside you
with a burning heat in his eyes, a heat that I sparked to life.

He chuckles at my shock, running a finger down my cheek, before sitting up. The path his finger took tingles as I raise myself up beside him. When he puts his feet on the floor, getting ready to leave, his good humor evaporates. “Be honest. If you don’t want to stay here, you can come home with me,” he states, looking over his shoulder at me.

I finally find my voice again, knowing that leaving here now would be sending a message to Kyle that I don’t want to send. “I’m going to stay, but thanks.”

“If you change your mind, you call me.” He picks up my phone from the nightstand and hands it to me. “When I call you, you need to answer or at least call me back. Don’t go silent on me again, okay?”

“Okay,” I reply. Then I clear my throat and ask the question that’s nagging me. “How many girls have you been with, Lucas?”

He pauses on his way to the door. The look on his face first shows his surprise, then his reluctance to answer. He must have known I would ask this question after what he just said to me about being my first. “Would I need more than two hands to count them?” I finally blurt out, worrying when he doesn’t respond.

He moves back toward me with a sly grin. “I’ve been pretty busy in your imagination, haven’t I?”

I can feel the blush rise on my cheeks even as I glare at his smug expression.

His smile turns tender. “You couldn’t even fill one hand,” he says.

I feel slightly relieved at first, but when I think of him being intimate with any other girls, my stomach clenches. “Did you sleep with Sophie?” I ask. I know the answer must be yes, and I’m not surprised when he slowly nods. Then his eyes flick down to my neck. He reaches up and lightly trails his fingertips over the marks that must be visible again. “But I’ve never felt like this before. In a way, you’ll be my first, too,” he whispers. Then he leans down and places a kiss right at the base of my throat. When he rises up and looks at me, his eyes gleam with affection.

I reach up and run my fingers through the soft waves of hair that have fallen over his forehead. He closes his eyes and hums with satisfaction. I knew he wasn’t a virgin. But now I realize that what he did before he met me doesn’t matter. I want to be with him in every way. I only hope my inexperience doesn’t make me a disappointment for him. With just over a month left before the end of school, before the beginning of uncertainty, I want it to happen before I lose my chance. I want him to be my first.

I walk him to the door, and we embrace again before I watch him walk out to his truck. It’s late. I hadn’t realized dinner time had come and gone. The house is quiet now, and I go into the darkened kitchen. My stomach growls at the lingering scent of food. When I pull open the refrigerator door, I see a plate wrapped in cellophane. I heat it up and sit down by myself to eat. As hungry as I am, after a few bites, I’m done. The lingering tightness in my stomach is squelching my appetite. After cleaning up, I peer down the hallway to find everyone’s bedroom doors closed. I go back downstairs and lie awake in the dark for a long time before sleep finally comes.

K
yle
and Chloe are in the kitchen when I come upstairs dressed for school. Chloe hardly spares me a glance before retreating to her bedroom. Kyle notices her avoidance of me and his lips press into a tight line.

“I made you a lunch,” he says. “It’s in the refrigerator.”

“Thanks for saving me dinner last night.” I walk past him to grab an apple off the counter for breakfast. “Are you going to work today?”

He turns to me with a cup of coffee in his hand. “No. We’re taking Penelope in for more testing.”

We both know what the tests will find. At least I know. I think Kyle is hoping I’m wrong. The desire to hug him is strong. Just like Penelope, I’ve never embraced Kyle either and I know that’s my fault. In the end, I lay a hand on his arm and squeeze it gently before leaving.

I move through the day unable to focus, going through the motions of being in school while my brain is swimming in a fog. This morning, Lucas told me we’re going to say that he left the prom because of his mother’s sudden and unexpected recovery. Liam called him with the news and he had to get home to her. I guess it’s a believable story, and it introduces that fact that his mother is well now. I don’t worry too much about it as I regurgitate the details nearly verbatim to Gwen when she meets me at my locker.

“His mother was sick?” she asks as her brow wrinkles with confusion.

“Yeah,” I mutter, forgetting that she was out of the loop on that.

She can barely contain herself when she tells me her news. “Tyler kissed me in the limo when we got to my house. More than just kissed actually.” Then she frowns. “But I haven’t spoken to him since. I thought he might call me the next day, but nope. Not a word.”

“This was just Saturday night. I wouldn’t worry about that yet.”

“But look what happened when Lucas didn’t call after you guys made out?” she points out.

“Thanks for reminding me,” I reply dryly.

“I’m making a point here.”

“I know. But don’t worry. He’s into you. It will be fine,” I assure her. I can’t work up much genuine angst for her situation, but I’m trying to be sympathetic. As her friend, she deserves more from me than I can give her today.

At lunch, I watch Tyler sit down next to Gwen instead of taking his usual seat. I grin at her as her face lights up and her doubts disappear. Myles and Lucas sit with us, and I hear about the prom aftermath while we eat. Myles says that Sophie is still pissed and wants nothing to do with Lucas. “About fucking time,” Lucas murmurs upon hearing this. Apparently, April was mortified at her behavior and apologized to Myles. He accepted her apology, but he still isn’t sitting at his old lunch table.

During this discussion, Lucas keeps finding a way to touch me. His knee presses against mine beneath the table. His hand brushes my arm and then my leg. I want to break out of my funk for him, to show him that I took his words from last night to heart. I pretend as hard as I can, even inserting myself into Gwen’s enthusiastic conversation about the last season of
Dexter
. But Lucas’s sympathetic attention reveals that he can see right through me.

Finally, the excruciating day ends. At my locker, Lucas and Gwen both appear with offers of a ride home. Since I’ve hardly given Gwen any attention all day, I feel too guilty to turn her down.

“I’ll call you later,” Lucas promises, signaling his understanding.

Gwen squeezes my arm in excitement as we head down the stairs. “He’s taking me out tomorrow night. He just asked me.”

“See? I told you he was into you.”

“What should I wear?” she asks.

I notice that she’s back to all black today. “Well, is he taking out happy Gwen or maudlin Gwen?”

She rolls her eyes at me. “I could wear the dress I wore to Atlas. He wasn’t there. So, he hasn’t seen it.”

We step outside into the warm afternoon and start to walk toward her car when I spot Alec standing on the sidewalk. He’s obviously waiting for me. I stop short but Gwen doesn’t notice until she’s several steps ahead.

“You coming?” Her eyes travel between Alec and I.

“I can give you a ride home, Raielle. I’d like to talk to you,” Alec says. He looks like he just stepped off the golf course in a green short-sleeved Lacoste shirt and khaki shorts.

“Um, sure,” I reply, wondering if he’s here to talk to me about Penelope. “This is Kyle’s dad,” I explain to Gwen. “I’ll get a ride with him. Talk to you later, okay?”

Gwen eyes Alec, and gives me a hesitant little wave before heading across the parking lot.

“I’m right over here,” Alec motions to his car. I walk over and pull open the heavy door, sliding into the leather seat and reaching for my seatbelt.

“Could we get some coffee rather than going straight home?” he asks once he’s seated beside me.

I hesitate for a moment, before nodding my agreement. I’m uncomfortable being alone with this man I hardly know, who has so much history with my mother. But with what this family is going through, I can’t find it in me to refuse having coffee with him.

We drive in silence with me mostly staring out the window. Alec pulls into the diner on the main road in Fort Upton, just a couple of blocks down from Scoops. We go inside, and I follow him to one of the many empty booths that line a wall of windows. There’s only one other customer here seated at the bar. I notice that Alec has chosen the booth farthest away from him.

Once we’re settled in, he orders coffee, and I do the same. “Would you like anything to eat?” he asks.

I shake my head.

Alec waits for our coffee to arrive before introducing the subject he wants to discuss. When the waitress places our mugs on the table, the hot liquid steams in the air between us. I take a sip and feel the burn run down the length of my throat.

“Penelope had another MRI today,” he says. He watches me carefully now. “They found exactly what you said. There’s an inoperable tumor in her brain. It’s pushing down on the area that controls her respiratory system. Her prognosis isn’t good.”

I put my hands around the warm coffee cup. I knew this. I didn’t know the exact details, but I knew she might not have much time. Alec’s jaw is tight and despite his cool, concise description of Penelope’s condition, I can see he’s making an effort to hold himself together. When I don’t say anything, he continues.

“She could have a few months, maybe less. I want you to help her.”

I meet his eyes, and I can see the pain there. I know how close he and Penelope are. “I wish I could,” I reply.

His spoon clatters to the table, startling me. He leans in close to me. “I know more about you and how your healing works than Kyle does. I’ve seen what both your mother and grandmother can do. I understand when it’s this bad you can’t get rid of it. But you can still help her.”

My eyes widen in shock as I begin to lean away from him, pressing my back into the booth.

“I’ve been preparing myself for this possibility. I want you to give it to me,” he says. His pleading eyes drill into mine.

I blink at him, wondering if I’m understanding him correctly. “I can’t do that,” I tell him carefully.

“Yes, you can. I’ve seen your mother do it. You only have to be touching us at the same time. That’s how it works.”

I slowly move my hands into my lap. I rub my sweating palms against my jeans. “You want me to give you a deadly disease,” I state, not quite believing what I’m hearing.

“Yes. I’m volunteering for it. Surely, you don’t think Penelope should die instead of an old man like me?”

Even as I’m resisting the idea, I can understand it, and I admire him for his sacrifice. But I still can’t agree to it.

“We’ll do it tomorrow,” he continues. “I’ve already told Kyle and Chloe.”

This surprises me. “They’re okay with this?”

“They’re accepting of it. It’s better than the alternative,” he states, sitting back now, taking a sip of his coffee.

My heart starts to pound as I consider what he’s asking me to do. He’s basically telling me to kill him. How can I possibly agree to that? “I’m sorry. No,” I say, averting my eyes, staring down into my coffee.

“Are you saying you can’t do it or you won’t,” he snaps.

“Both.”

He pushes his coffee away. I watch as the remaining liquid sloshes over the side onto the table. “I know you’re capable of doing it. That just leaves the fact that you’re refusing to.”

As I’m watching him, his cheeks begin to flush.

“Why?” he demands.

I take a deep breath and grasp my hands in my lap. “You’re asking me to kill you. I can’t do that. Even if you’re volunteering for it.”

He stares at me. “I could pay you.”

My mouth drops open. “No,” I say firmly.

He barks out a laugh that startles me. “You’re appalled at the thought of taking money? You’re nothing like your grandmother. But you will change your mind.” He runs a hand over his neatly slicked back hair and leans in over the table again. “Listen to me closely, Raielle. Kyle told you that I went to talk to your mother about helping Penelope. What he doesn’t know is that when your mother refused to help, I started thinking about you. So I hired someone to go to San Diego and watch you.”

My eyes widen at this.

“He saw something interesting one day. A boy on a basketball court jumped up to the hoop, sunk the ball, and came down hard, twisting his leg. He couldn’t stand up again. He was obviously hurt, and you were there watching. When the other kids went to get help, you walked over and touched him. A few moments later, he stood up as though nothing was wrong.”

My mouth goes dry. He’s describing the day I healed Ritchie’s leg. Ritchie and I were fostered together for a while. He played basketball near our apartment. This happened only a few weeks before my mother was killed.

Alec narrows his eyes. “That’s when I realized I didn’t need your mother.”

My breathing grows shallow, and I push back even further against the booth.

“But I knew she would never agree to let you help us.”

I can feel the few sips of coffee in my stomach turning sour and working their way back up. “You killed her,” I whisper.

He nods gravely at me. “I had her killed.”

“You hired Rob Jarvis,” I mutter, as the room seems to tilt.

He narrows his eyes even more, seeming surprised that I know this. “That’s right. I met him at the nursing home where your grandmother lives. I caught him stealing medication when he thought no one was looking. I figured he wouldn’t turn down some extra cash. So I paid him to watch you. When I realized you’d inherited your family’s special talent, I paid him more to kill your mother. I knew that would bring you here. By then Penelope showed no other signs of her illness, but the doctors said it would be back. Having you here was my insurance. I was hoping I would never have to collect on it, but the time has come. Surely you can’t feel any remorse about what I’m asking you to do now.”

My throat is too tight to respond. I’m wondering how soon I can get away from him and call the police.

As though reading my mind, he says, “If you go to the authorities, they’ll arrest me, and I won’t be able to help Penelope. Kyle will lose us both. There’s no reason for that to happen. Kyle and Chloe had nothing to do with my actions, and I haven’t told them the part I played in your mother’s death. Kyle is a good man. He would never approve of what I’ve done.” He eyes me with renewed hope. “You must see the justice in this. I’ll be paying the highest price for my crime. Why would you refuse to let me?”

I look into his determined face, and I’m repulsed by him. How can this man be capable of loving his granddaughter so fiercely that he’s willing to die for her, but also be responsible for so callously having my mother killed? Now he’s handing me his fate on a silver platter and providing me the means to save Penelope at the same time.

I can’t stand to look at him anymore. He’s the reason my mother is dead. I stare down at my fisted hands, at war with myself as my insides twist into knots. Can I stand by and watch Penelope suffer and die when this evil man is giving me a seemingly righteous way to stop it? I’d rather watch him suffer and die. I realize I want him to. I uncurl my fingers and reach up to pull on my hair, mindlessly reacting to the terrible building pressure inside me. When I feel Alec touch my arm, I flinch back, spilling my coffee across the table.

“Everything okay here?” the waitress asks, placing a stack of napkins in front of me.

I stare down at them as Alec tells her we’re fine.

“Okay,” I hear myself saying once the waitress is gone. When he doesn’t respond, my eyes flick up to his face.

His eyebrows are raised. “Okay?”

I nod and dart my gaze away from him again.

“Thank you,” he says. I can hear that he’s relieved, not scared or regretful, just satisfied to be getting what he wants. “Tomorrow, then. I’ll come to the house.”

I offer a single nod in response. The need to get away from him is too strong to resist. “I’m walking home,” I announce. I stand and rush out of the diner as quickly as I can. I keep walking all the way down Main Street until I’m able to turn a corner and disappear behind a wall of bushes. I pray he hasn’t followed me. As I glance around me, my body is so tense my jaw begins to ache from clenching it. The anger inside me is a like a fire that wants to consume me. My throat is too tight to scream out my rage. So instead, I take my foot and kick at a tree trunk beside me. I ram the tip of my shoe into the rough bark again and again. I hardly register the pain vibrating up my leg as I continue to assault the tree until I’m too exhausted to continue. Then I slump to the ground and just sit there, breathing hard, staring down at the dirt.