Kellie's Diary: Decay of Innocence (9 page)

Chapter 30

June 21, 1995

              These days are really getting on my nerves.  If someone isn’t getting hurt, or getting lost, people are being mean!  You’ll never guess what happened this time.  Max threw Kitty over the fence!  Can you believe that?

             
Lydia came into the room and she was crying, saying that Kitty was thrown over the fence!  I asked who did it, and she said it was Max.  He was one of the jerk boys jumping through the hole in the fence!  She said that she was holding Kitty and Max came up to her and started making fun of her, by saying bad things about me!  She says that he was calling me stupid for getting Tommy killed.  Lydia says she tried to stick up for me, but then he grabbed Kitty and just threw her over the fence!

             
I got up real fast and started looking for Max, and I found him hanging out by the schoolhouse with the other boys.  He was laughing about something.  I walked over to him and asked if he threw Kitty over the fence.  He started getting mad at me!  He was saying how we deserved it, since I was the one that got Tommy bit.  Barbie, I’ve never wanted to hit anyone before, but I really wanted to right then.  I asked what that had to do with the cat, because Lydia didn’t do anything wrong, she didn’t deserve that.  He said that Tommy didn’t deserve to get bit, so we were “even.”  I said that it wasn’t fair that he was being mean to Lydia because she wasn’t even there.  He said so what, that it was just a dumb cat.

             
I finally got so mad that I said he should have gotten bit and not Tommy.  He told me to go die and then called me a bitch!

             
Then I punched him.  I just couldn’t take it anymore.  I swung my arm and hit him on the side of the head.  When he got up he looked like he was going to hit me back.

             
Then Sarah stopped us.  She asked what happened, and I told her, then Max said I was lying!  Lydia said that what I said was true, and that Kitty was gone.  Sarah told us to go back home, but when we were walking away I heard her yelling at Max.

              Hey Barbie.  I just got done talking to Sarah about what happened.  She said she thought it was really messed up what Max did, but I should have just gone to her to get help.  Sarah thinks he should be punished, but his dad didn’t agree.  So she told Dan and Mike what happened and she offered to go look for the cat.  They didn’t like the idea, because it was a waste of time and that it was too dangerous for just a cat, but she kept saying that she didn’t care and she was going to do it anyway.  I guess they let her, because she’s packing up to go.

             
I know Lydia’s really upset right now, so I should stay with her so she’s not lonely.  She’s been crying most of the day, and the rest of the time she was quiet.  Then after a while she said she was going to look for Kitty.  Sarah told her to stay here because she was already going out to go look for her.  Lydia kept on pushing it, so then Sarah told me to make sure I watch out for her.

             
I told her I want to help look for Kitty too, but she made me promise to stay here.  I don‘t want to just do nothing!  I also want to beat up Max, but that’s probably not going to happen.

              When Sarah was packing up, I asked her if she knew how Tommy was doing, and she said he was getting worse.  I don’t even know why I asked, everyone knows what happens when you get bit.  Maybe there’s a little part of me that still wishes he would get better, but I know that’s not going to happen.  She says it’s just a matter of time before he turns.  I get sad just thinking about it.  She kept saying it wasn’t my fault, but it isn’t changing how I feel.

             
When I saw the zombie biting him, I thought about what happened in school a long time ago.  So many people died that day.  It still scares me to think about even after all this time.  It’s been over 2 years.  Maybe I’m thinking too much about it and I don’t need to.  I figure if things were going to be fixed, it would have been fixed a long time ago.

             
I wish I was better with this gun.  All that BB gun practice helped, but shooting a real gun is so different.  It hits back a lot harder in my hand when I fire it.  Sarah says that’s called “kick.”  It feels like a kick, that’s for sure.  My hands are still a little sore from it.  I still have the gun on me, it’s just hidden so no one tries to take it.  Sarah says that a lot of people are mad that I had it, but she thinks I need to keep it.  She thinks everyone should have a gun.  I do feel safer with it, but what’s the point if I can’t shoot right?

             
Lydia is sitting by herself on the bed right now.  She’s not saying anything, and she’s not really moving.  I don’t know what to say to her to make her feel better.  The thing is we’ve never had a cat before Kitty, not even a long time ago.  We just had goldfish and hamsters.  Having a cat is a lot different.  From what I know, cats are good at taking care of themselves.  Lydia takes really good care of Kitty, and I know that they’re good friends.

             
I already feel bad about Kitty being missing, but I almost feel worse because I have 2 friends and she lost hers.  I have you and Mr. Floppy, but her best friend is gone.  I’m going to see if she wants to hang out with Mr. Floppy for a while, maybe he can help her feel better.  I think Sarah will be able to find Kitty, she’s really good at this stuff.

Chapter 31

June 22, 1995

              Lydia’s gone!!  I don’t believe this!  I woke up this morning and she was gone!  I had to wake up Sarah and tell her, and she jumped up real fast, woke up Jack and they both ran out of the room.  She told me to stay here, but I need to help find her too!  But when I saw how serious Sarah looked when I tried to tell her I wanted to help, I figured it was better that I stay here.  She said she’d be back soon anyway.

             
I can’t sit here all day though.  I don’t want to be doing nothing.  I have to help somehow!  Oh, and Lydia took Mr. Floppy too!  I didn’t think I could be both scared and mad that she’s gone.

              Sarah came back in a few minutes ago.  She said we’re all going to look around the town for her.  I’m going to get dressed and head out.

              We didn’t find Lydia anywhere, Barbie.  We’ve been looking for hours - we checked every rv here, every other vehicle…  We asked everyone in town and nobody’s seen her anywhere!  I’m so worried about her.

             
The only thing left for us to do is start looking on the outside for her.  Sarah told me that she was going to go.  I said I was going too, but she’s making me stay here!  I don’t get it, why can’t I help?  I asked if she didn’t trust me because of what happened, but she said that wasn’t why I had to stay, she just wants to make sure that I’m safe while she’s finding Lydia.

             
She made me promise to stay here.  I didn’t want to promise anything, and she knew that, but I finally said okay.  But the more I sit here, the more I feel like I’m wasting my time.  Sarah, Dan and a few other people are looking for Lydia around the outside.  Sarah always told me it’s better to have a group of people around you just in case there are zombies.  Maybe that’s true, but I was alone for a long time, and I was just fine.  I’m not afraid of going out there by myself, I’ve already done it.

             
I’ve been sitting here for a while, but I don’t think I can do this for much longer.  If we’re ever going to find her, I need to go out there too.  I know I promised Sarah, but I don’t think I can keep this promise.  I know I might get in trouble, but I really don’t care right now.  Finding Lydia is a lot more important.

             
Let’s see… I have the gun, my backpack with some water, and a flashlight. I’m also wearing the hoodie sweater that Sarah found for me a while back. It’s really cloudy out, and it looks like it might rain.

             
The hole in the fence was fixed already so I need to find a different way out.  I may need to look around a little while.

              Sarah, I’m sorry for breaking my promise, but I’m not going to just wait for Lydia to show up.  She’s my sister, and I’m not sticking around here when she might be in trouble.  I need to find her.

Chapter 32

              I can’t figure out where I am, and I don’t know how to get back.  I’m in this house really far away from the town.  I think it’s empty but it’s hard to tell.  My head and my ears hurt so bad right now, I’m tired and I can’t think straight, and I can’t hear anything!

             
I don’t think this was a good idea.  I came out here to look for Lydia, not to get myself lost!

             
I snuck out of town when the front gate opened and one of Howard’s cars came in.  I had to sneak around a whole bunch of the lookouts, but I got past them.  I was walking around for a really long time through the trees and bushes.  I wanted to yell for Lydia, but I remembered that I couldn’t be too loud.  I learned that being quiet is better so it doesn’t attract zombies.  Then it started raining really hard, so that wasn’t helping anything.  I kept hearing some thunder, but there was no lightning.

             
It was getting darker and then I heard walking, and when I found where it came from I saw zombies!  A whole bunch!  I haven’t seen this many zombies in a really long time.  I didn’t have anywhere to hide, so I started running.  Then I kept seeing even more zombies!  No matter which way I looked, there they were!  I didn’t know where to go or what to do, so I just hid behind a tree so I could think for a minute.

             
I could hear them getting closer.  I freaked out because I had nowhere to go!  I just stood against the tree and stood really still.  I wasn’t moving at all, and I just kept hoping that the zombies wouldn’t see me.  I felt like I couldn’t even breathe because I was afraid they would hear me.  The zombies started walking around the tree, and they walked right past me!  I don’t know how long I was standing there, but it felt like hours!  It was still raining, so I was standing there getting soaked.

             
Finally there were less of them, then after a bit I didn’t see any more walking past.  I still waited just to make sure they were all gone, because some zombies are slower than others.  I saw the ones in front of me getting farther away.  I didn’t hear any more walking or growling.  So I looked around both sides of the tree to see if it was really safe.  I didn’t see anything, so I went back around the tree to keep going.

             
And then a zombie ran right into me!  I don’t know how I didn’t see it, because I looked behind the tree!  It fell right on top of me!  It got so close to biting my face, but I pushed it up by the neck so it wouldn’t bite me.  I couldn’t push it off of me, so I tried to get my gun.  I had to hold it back with one hand, and it was so hard to do!  Its teeth were soooo close to my face!

             
I finally got the gun out, I put it up to the zombie’s head, and I pulled the trigger.  Part of its head blew away and it fell down.  I pushed it off and got out from underneath it.

             
But then my ears started hurting really bad and I heard this ringing sound and felt pounding inside my head.  Then I didn’t hear anything!  I put my hands up to my ears for a minute, and when I took them off I saw blood!  I think I broke my eardrums!  I tried to get up and I felt really dizzy and had a hard time standing up.  I started looking around and I saw a couple of zombies from kind of far away, but they were coming from the direction of that big bunch of them I just got away from.  They probably heard the gun!

             
I had to get out of there fast.  I still couldn’t hear anything, so I was looking around a lot to make sure more zombies didn’t show up.  I wasn’t running very well, and my head and my ears kept hurting even worse.  It’s really scary not being able to hear anything.  I mean I hear the ringing but that’s it.  I can’t hear the rain, or wind… I can’t hear zombies…

             
I think I was running for a while, but I had to stop for a second and get my flashlight because it was getting too dark.  I know it’s dangerous sometimes but I have to be able to see, I can’t be deaf AND blind.  But I was still dizzy so it was hard to run, and the rain made it even harder to see.

             
I don’t know how long it was, but after a while I found this old-looking house.  There was a big metal fence around it, and I found the front gate.  I got in and closed it behind me.  But when I got closer and looked with the flashlight, the front door was missing.  I saw a couple zombies through the bushes outside the fence, but I'm just hoping the fence holds them back.  I went in and I saw the door lying on the ground.

             
I was still dizzy and hurting, but I went all over the house and made sure there weren’t any zombies.  This house is scary.  It feels like it's haunted.  All the walls are breaking, it looks like almost all the windows are broken, and the back door was missing too.  I went upstairs and the bedrooms up here don't have doors and the windows are broken, except for one room that still had a door.  Some parts of the floor are wet, I think rain got inside somehow.

             
I didn’t see any zombies around, so I went into the room with the door and I'm sitting against it now.  It doesn't lock so I want to make sure nothing tries to come in.  The room is messy and smells funny.  There’s nothing hiding in the closet or under the bed, so I’m safe for now.

             
I’m freezing and tired.  My head hurts and I still can’t hear.  I’m still bleeding a little, but it’s not as bad as before.  I didn’t ever think about how important hearing was, but it is.  So I’m looking almost every minute out the window to make sure nothing comes in through the front gate.  I hope I can start hearing again soon.  I’m trying to rest, but it’s hard when you have no idea what’s going on around you.  Either way I have to wait until morning before I go back out.  There’s no way I'll get anywhere in this dark.  At least I have the gun next to me just in case.

             
I was hoping Lydia might be out here, then neither of us would be alone.  Why did she have to run away??  Sarah went and looked for Kitty!  Lydia knows it’s not safe out here alone!  Why would she do something so stupid?  Now half the town is looking for her!  I hope she’s okay.

             
Okay, that was creepy… I just heard laughing.