Kindle Indecent 2 (7 page)

Keeping the table between them, he sat and pushed her water across the expanse. When he’d withdrawn his hand, she took it.

So now what? What the hell did he say? She wasn’t exactly giving him any openings here. Might as well just rip off the bandage.

“Keegan told me what happened. Do you want to talk about it?”

Her head popped up and those dark eyes locked onto his. “Why should I want to talk about it with you? Why exactly would I want to talk about
any
of this with you?” She shook her head. “You know what? This is a mistake. I never should’ve come here. Not now. Not before.”

So that’s where they stood. This quicksand was deeper than he’d thought. But now that he was standing in it, he might as well fight all the way down.

“Bullshit.”

Her mouth dropped open and her eyes widened. And the tears receded as anger built.

Good. Anger he could deal with.

“If you hadn’t wanted to talk about it, you wouldn’t be here.”

It took a few seconds but he saw her realize that he’d read her correctly. But she wasn’t happy about it and he braced for battle.

Which showed just how much he really didn’t know about her.

As he watched, the anger drained out of her. She didn’t deflate though, didn’t break down. She took a deep breath and straightened her spine.

“You’re right. I do want to talk.”

His turn to take a deep breath. “Okay. Lay it out for me. Whatever it is, just spit it out.”

Her gaze bored into his. “You didn’t call. Either of you. And I was stupid enough to think you would.” Each word she spoke came out precisely. And cut like a scalpel. “I can’t help feeling used. Which is totally stupid. You paid me to have sex with you. And Keegan. You
paid
me and it was more than enough to clear out any debt my mom and I had. You knew about that. I don’t know how but I know you knew we needed the money.”

Erik was afraid to move, afraid to breathe. Every word out of her mouth was underlined with pain and each one dug into his chest like an ice pick. His brain whirred like a pinwheel in a tornado. What the hell did he say? What
could
he say?

Nothing, because she continued. “I was so stupid because when I left that night, I thought I’d hear from you again. I thought one of you would call. We’d do dinner. We’d— Hell, I don’t know, go to a movie. Do something normal. But this isn’t a normal situation, is it?”

She paused and he knew she was waiting for him to speak up.

“No, it’s not.” He sighed, a hard exhalation of breath that reeked of his frustration. “But you’re not stupid. Not by a long shot. I wouldn’t want you so damn badly if you were.”

Her eyes narrowed, wary and focused totally on him. And she kept silent, waiting.

“Don’t make any mistake there. I
do
want you. So does Keegan. He wanted to call. He wanted to call and ask you the next day but it was Christmas Eve and you said you were spending it with your mom. Then it was Christmas and we had family commitments. And when we got back to the lab last week, we had other shit going down.”

He wasn’t about to lay that on her. That was business. This wasn’t. Never had been despite the money.

“Yeah,” he continued, “we knew about your mom’s situation. We knew you needed help. We knew we wanted to give you the money. And we both knew we wanted you in bed between us.”

“You didn’t think I’d want you if it weren’t for the money.”

There it was again. That elephant in the room.

Her gaze slipped to the side of his face, looking at his scars. Instead of dipping his head and letting his hair cover them like he normally did, he resisted the urge. She’d done it on purpose but he didn’t think she’d done it hurt him.

And when she finally looked into his eyes again, he knew it. No pity. Only empathy. He knew the difference because of her.

And that’s why there was no way he was letting her leave.

Christ, his cock practically pounded against the zipper in his jeans, he was so hard.

“No, I didn’t think you’d want me. But I’m not as stupid as I was then.”

They fell silent, staring into each other’s eyes. He wanted to reach across the table and pull her over it. Hell, he wanted to strip her naked and fuck her hard and fast on the table.

Then he’d text Keegan and tell him to get his ass over here so they could take her on his bed.

He’d dreamed about her every frickin’ night.
 
Woke up hard and unsatisfied every morning. He wanted to ease the ache in his gut right fucking now.

“Keegan didn’t go to that reception tonight to nail you to the wall. He only went to talk.”

Her lips twisted in a sneer. “Then he obviously has a different meaning for the word ‘talk.’”

“It’s not entirely his fault, Jules.” He raised a hand before she could say the indignant words gathering on her tongue. “It’s mine. I told him to wait.”

“Why?”

Because I think I’ve finally found a lead on who might’ve sabotaged the lab and caused the fire that disfigured me. Because I need to prove to Keegan that I’m not crazy
.

And Jules would’ve made it impossible for him to think clearly.

“Because I was an ass.”

“So because you admit it, that means everything’s forgiven?”

“No. But give me the chance to make it up to you.”

Her expression showed just how futile she thought that was. “How?”

“Honestly, I was hoping you’d have a suggestion.”

She blinked. “Isn’t that kind of a cop-out?”

He couldn’t be sure but he thought she might have almost smiled. Maybe he hadn’t totally lost his touch with women.

Then again, he had no idea what to say to that except… “Yeah. I guess it is.”

Damn, he was totally blowing this.

“Hey, would you like something to eat? I haven’t had dinner yet and I’m starving.”

“Is this your subtle way of getting me to cook for you?”

He gave her a mock-angry frown. “Hey, are you dissing my abilities to perform in the kitchen? I’ll have you know I’m perfectly capable of fending for myself.”

 
The fact that he had a housekeeper who fixed most of his meals notwithstanding.

He didn’t wait for her answer, just headed for the fridge where he pulled out the fixings for an omelet.

“No, I’m not dissing your cooking abilities. I just… I thought…”

He set all the stuff on the island counter then reached underneath for a bowl. “Thought what?”

“Well, you seem to know everything else about me, I figured you knew that I plan to open my own restaurant one day.”

He actually had known that. Carol had told him. “What do you like to cook?”

Leaving her chair at the table, she walked over to the island. “American comfort food but high-end. Lobster mac and cheese. Sirloin cheesesteak sandwiches. Different but recognizable.”

After cracking eggs into a bowl, he started to whisk. “Sounds good. Where do you want to set up shop?”

“Philadelphia maybe. King of Prussia. Not around here.”

“So you want to run away to the big city, huh?”

He and Keegan had run as far from the big cities as they could. And now Erik wouldn’t move back for all the business in the world. All those people staring at him. Jesus, it’d be hell every day.

“I want to get away from here, that’s for damn sure.” Her tone held a hard note. “Growing up in a small town might sound like a great idea, but when you don’t want to conform or fit into the little box everyone thinks you should fit in…”

Things hadn’t been great for her growing up. She’d had a reputation apparently, for something that wasn’t her fault. Carol had told him about the affair she’d had. About the man who’d lied to her and made her out to be some kind of home wrecker.

Erik would gladly bash the guy’s face in.

“So don’t. But don’t let small-minded people keep you down.”

He realized what he’d said the second the words left his mouth and looked up to find her staring at him with raised eyebrows.

“Not the same thing and you know it,” he said.

She reached across the island and ran her finger down his cheek. The disfigured one. He flinched away. He couldn’t help it.

But she followed him, putting her hand flat on his cheek. He barely felt it. The scar tissue was thick and didn’t allow for much sensation. Which just pissed him off. He wanted to feel her hand on his skin.

As if she’d read his mind, she lifted her other hand to his opposite cheek. And now he felt the full effect of her touch. It nailed his feet to the floor. He wouldn’t have been able to move if he’d tried.

Her fingertips stroked along his skin, sending shivers of sensation through his blood, straight to his cock.

If he wasn’t careful, he’d make the same mistake Keegan had. He’d let his dick do the thinking.

Couldn’t say he didn’t understand completely, but
one
of them had to be the better man tonight.

“Jules.”

“Yes.”

Aw hell. That was definitely not going to make him behave. Not that word, said with that husky tone in her voice.

“Do you like onions?”

It took a few seconds but her lips curved in a smile. “Maybe you should leave them out.”

“Okay. Sure.”

She withdrew and he cursed silently when she was no longer touching him.

“Are you planning to go back to college?”

“Maybe for some business courses. College was never on my radar. I couldn’t stand high school. Why willingly sign up for more torture? I went to the vo-tech for the culinary program. That was really the only reason I graduated.”

He shrugged. “College isn’t for everyone.”

“Some people think you’re stupid if you don’t.”

“And some people are idiots. Some of the stupidest people I know have a college degree. I figure it all evens out.”

Her smile was small but genuine. “I guess it does. So tell me, Erik. Don’t you want to have sex with me again?”

His hand froze in the act of beating the eggs. “More than I want to breathe. Is that why you’re here?”

Her gaze dropped. “I don’t know why I’m here.”

“Bullshit.” He said it with no edge, no snark, no sneer.

After a few seconds, she nodded and her gaze lifted to his again. “Okay, fine. Why am I here?”

She looked at him with such vulnerability and he was struck by how young she looked.

Rationally, he knew she was only twenty-one but she’d never seemed that young. She had a maturity beyond her years.

Until this minute.

And now he felt every one of those nine years separating them.

Christ, what a mess. And it was all his fault.

“Because you know what we shared wasn’t just sex.”

The words were hard for him to get out because he was admitting something aloud he’d barely admitted to himself.

And he should’ve known she wouldn’t let it go at that.

“So what was it to you?”

He paused and, after several seconds, Jules huffed. “Are you really not going to talk to me? Am I the only one who has to spill their guts?”

After a few more moments of silence, she shook her head. “Damn it—”

“When you left, I had every intention of calling you, of setting up a date. A real one. With the three of us. Then…I got some information about the explosion that I had to investigate.”

“What information?”

“Nothing I want to discuss now.” When she looked like she wanted to argue, he held up his hand. “No, I want to talk about you. About us. We can talk about anything else you want later. Right now, I want to talk about us.”

“Is there an us?”