Kiss Me Gone (16 page)

Mary Ivers would never see me as Dare did. I didn't need her to love or even like me. But every day she was around would have been another day I risked losing Dare again. Any children...

My hands jerked up and pushed at his chest. "Get out!"

I choked on the command.

He grabbed my wrists, pulled my arms high above my head so that I had to stand on my tiptoes. Bringing his face level with mine, he stared at me for a few seconds. I stared back, dropping my shield so that he could see all the pain clawing at me.

"Is that what you want?" he asked, his voice dangerously low, the words evenly spoken.

I couldn't force the lie out of my mouth, so I just glared at him, willed him to see that we had no future together.

Releasing me, Dare stepped back, spun on one heel and marched to the door. He gripped the knob hard and jerked it open. But after he crossed the threshold, he closed it no more loudly than a whisper.

Numb and mute, I extended my hands toward the door, my fingers searching for the string that would pull Dare back. There was no string, of course. He was gone and he had left -- easily.

Bolting toward the sink, I spilled my guts down the drain. When I lifted my head, I screamed. My vision closed in at the edges as I panted for air. I started sliding toward the ground, reached out to catch myself. The picture frame fell, the glass breaking on impact.

My knees gave out. My body plummeted.

Arms slid around my stomach to hold me up. "I've got you, baby."

Dare.

I started to sob. Gathering me up into his arms, Dare carried me to the couch. Leaving me for a few seconds, he came back with a glass of water and a cold, wet hand towel.

He encouraged me to take a few sips then draped the towel across my forehead and pushed me onto the pillows.

"You left," I accused even though he had only been complying with my order.

"I stepped outside," he countered. "You couldn't decide how you felt, so I let you find out."

"That was a shitty thing to do," I whispered, ignoring the fact that what I had done in ordering him out was worse.

Pressing a kiss against my temple, he didn't argue with my assessment. After several minutes like that, he pulled back and tugged on my chin until I looked at him.

"Why did you send me away?"

I disclosed only part of the truth. "Your mother loves you. A child should never lose a parent's love."

I was also terrified that he didn't really love me back, that he had fixated on me after Laurie's death and for a handful of other reasons.

"My mother loves what she can control," Dare corrected. "If she really loved me, she would see that I cease to exist without you. I'm not a man I can respect when you're away. That was true the first time you left and afterwards..."

He dipped his head, his cheeks coloring a dark red. "I was going to marry a woman I didn't love, not even the tiniest bit. I was going to put both of us in a prison, my heart locked away and hers bound to me by a license on a piece of paper that would have meant nothing to me when I signed it or any day after."

I didn't want him to feel any worse than he clearly felt, but his explanation confused me.

"You said that she died because of me," I ventured softly. I had twisted his note to mean he wished I had died, in part, because he had placed the blame on me for her death earlier.

"You were the cause of our trip," he answered, his head coming up to meet my gaze. "Her death was the effect."

I rolled onto my side and tossed the wet cloth onto the coffee table. Cupping one side of his face, I caressed his cheek with my thumb. "But you didn't even know I was here."

He offered me a sad, but convinced smile. "The universe knew. She wanted to set a date. I was pulling back at the reins. I booked a random location, the distance from our families the only criterion. It was a trial run of our being alone and I was either going to set a date at the end or call it off."

Leaning closer to Dare, I touched my forehead against his. "You hadn't decided yet when she died?"

I needed to believe that he had decided, that he had already told her it was over or was determined to tell her once they returned to Hagersburg.

His hand came up to pluck at the fabric of my couch. I read guilt into the gesture but didn't pull back. For once, I would wait for his answer instead of assuming the opposite.

"As soon as she left the hotel room for the run," he started, drawing his hand to his lap. "I pulled out my laptop and opened a folder I had on you."

I forced myself to remain silent. I really didn't need to know what he had in that file. I wanted to because its existence seemed unusual, but wanting wasn't needing.

"I had made lists of everything I knew about you that might help me find you. I had what few images were available. I had bookmarks for all the sites and related search words..."

He shook his head, laughed once then sobered. "I was going to delete the folder and set a date, but I couldn't. Even the idea of deleting it threatened to suffocate me. So I made a deal -- with the universe or fate or stupid coincidence. One last search. If I didn't find you, then I would delete the folder and set the date and try to never think of you again."

"You didn't find anything because I made sure there was nothing to find," I confessed. Clasping my hands behind his neck, I pulled Dare toward me. I buried my face against the curve of his shoulder and tried not to cry. "I stayed off social media, made sure my number wasn't listed. I even withheld permission on my name being included in a public roster for the department."

"Right," Dare answered. "I didn't find anything. I deleted the folder. I was on the phone with the hotel's concierge ordering two dozen roses when the hotel operator interrupted the call with a message from the emergency room."

He had been looking for some sign of me. The Internet hadn't offered him one, so the universe stepped in?

I pulled away. Dare pulled me back, his voice and words desperate as he sought to reassure me that he had never really chosen Laurie over me. "I wouldn't have stopped looking. I've tried to stop and failed so many times I know I would have kept on."

"I know. It's just that I feel..."

"Guilty?" he asked, reading my mind or reflecting on his own emotions after Laurie's death.

Nodding, I coaxed Dare onto the couch then curled against him.

"I felt guilt, too," he confessed. "But not because she died. That was random, even if I did try to convince myself I was asking the universe for guidance. I felt guilty because my first thought seeing you at the hospital was that I had finally found you, that you were mine and I would get you back. Then I remembered I was there to identify a dead body. All the loathing in my words, all the blame, was really directed at me."

His voice cracked raw and bleeding with each word. He clutched me to him, like I might still reject him, especially after what he had just said. I loosened his grip enough that I could crawl onto his lap.

"I don't know how long it will take us to get over finding joy that came at the price of another's sorrow." I lifted his chin and softly kissed his mouth. "But I promise you with everything I am, everything I will be, that I will never leave your side again."

Dare

Some seven months later on the first day of a desert spring, I emerged from a Tucson courthouse with Eden by my side. Carrying a simple bouquet of white flowers, she wore an elegant but understated wrap dress, the navy blue matching my suit.

Our first step past the building's threshold set off a trumpeting of sirens. I counted two ambulances, a ladder truck and a hose truck. In lieu of rice, water from the hose truck rained lightly onto the sidewalk less than a dozen feet from us.

"So much for flying under the radar," Eden laughed before hiding her face against my shoulder.

Wearing a guilty grin, Felix Hernandez winked at me. "You really didn't think they were going to let their new Deputy Chief of Training get married without a little fanfare?"

Seeing two of the men who had applied for the lead instructor position on the hose truck, I shook my head. "Not a chance, but someone had to snitch on us first."

"What is he doing?" Eden asked as she watched the firefighter on hose duty edging along the top of his truck while Felix mirrored his location next to us.

Stopping, Felix raised his hand and gave a thumbs up.

"I think I know," I said, taking Eden by the shoulders and guiding her into position. "Do you see it?"

She nodded, her voice thick when she answered. "It's a rainbow."

Turning to face me, she threw her arms around my neck. I lifted her up, our bodies sliding together, and treated myself to a long, deep kiss with the woman I loved.

The sirens began to warble, their operators playing with the frequency until the sound turned bawdy. Eden pulled away just far enough that I could see a broad grin covering her face. She deserved the biggest wedding the city had ever seen but had insisted on a low-key trip to the courthouse, only Hernandez in attendance to serve as our witness. Seeing the pure joy on Eden's face at the display, I caught Felix's attention.

"Thank you," I said, my words barely audible above the swooping sirens. "Thank you for everything."

His hands lifted in protest.

"Don't get my gay up," he warned. "I'll start crying and then I'll want to hug you and I don't need that kind of temptation, Mr. Oh-So-Fine."

Laughing, Eden stepped between us and stood on her tiptoes to embrace her friend and mentor. "I'll take that hug instead."

Their embrace set off another round of cheers and more than a few requests of "hey, me next" from the men I worked with. Returning to my arms, Eden shook her head at them then buried her face against my body once more. She peeked at Hernandez, commanding him to make our co-workers stop.

"All those sirens are going to bring a news van to see what's up. They'll think the courthouse is under attack!"

Hernandez lifted his hands, waved them together and the noise ceased all at once.

"Back to work, you bums," Felix shouted.

The firefighters and EMTs began to disburse. After the first of the vehicles pulled away, Felix tugged at Eden's sleeve.

"Bae, you're back to work on Monday?" he asked.

She nodded, her smile hiding the rest of the truth. She would be back on Monday, but she would also be turning in her notice, giving the department three months to find a replacement. Her last day of work would fall near the end of June.

Already living together since December when Eden's lease had ended, we wanted to start a family. She would do most of the house hunting, my recent promotion requiring a heavy work load as I transitioned into DC Williams' job and found a replacement for lead instructor.

More than that, I had convinced Eden to explore her creative side. Somehow, Helen had convinced Eden that she had no skill or talent. My mother had cruelly reinforced the lie when she chased Eden away in Hagersburg.

Starting with the body painting at the fundraisers, her friends and fans in Tucson had rekindled her passion. With my faith and salary backing her, she planned on building a portfolio that would land her a few gallery showings and then we would see how things progressed.

I expected things would progress to a successful artist's studio, but knew it would take more time for Eden to see just how special a talent she had.

Felix gave her one last hug and then we ran to my truck. I folded her inside the cab, eager to start the honeymoon phase. Fifteen minutes later, we pulled up in front of my apartment building. I raced around to open her door, tugged her out, then tossed her over my shoulder.

"Hey!" Her delighted squeals told me that her protests were anything but real.

I smacked my hand hard against her butt. "They may be trying to stick me behind a desk at work, but you married a fireman, baby. This is how we carry our brides over the threshold."

Another smack and then I secured my grip. I ran up two flights of stairs to my third floor apartment. I wanted inside so bad, I could have kicked the door down, but I managed to unlock it and keep Eden safely balanced on my shoulder.

With the security bolt in place, I went straight into the bedroom and dumped her without ceremony in the center of the mattress. A second later, I launched myself onto the bed, her delicious body trapped between my spread hands and knees. Twining my fingers in her hair, I kissed my wife.

My wife!

"Just what do you think you're going to do?" she giggled.

"I'm going to make love to my wife," I answered before nipping lightly at her exposed throat. "And then I'm going to fuck her."

Her smile turned wicked. Gripping the lapels of my suit, she kept me pulled close. "And after that?"

I lifted up, my indignant expression entirely fake. "I'm going to take a nap, woman."

"Oh? You think so?"

"I know so," I shot back, but quickly amended. "A short one. Then I'm going to draw a bath and make wet, soapy love to you. You're not going to be able to walk come Monday."

Her mouth puckered and then her hips pushed at me. "I like the direction this is heading. But, right now, it just sounds like a whole lot of talking."

"That, my love, was exactly the opening I needed to undress you." I said, settling onto my heels so that I could work the sash on her dress.

Her fingers halted my progress. Looking into her shining eyes, I felt my own grow moist.

"You don't ever need an excuse to skip the segue. I am positively addicted to your touch."

I exhaled, my body burning so hot with need for her that I expected to see steam rising off my flesh. I covered her mouth, my hand smoothing down the skirt of her dress to pull the hem up. She pushed her mound against me. The offering chipped at whatever control I still possessed.

Easing further down the bed, I untangled her legs from between mine and spread her thighs. Beneath the navy dress, she wore white lace panties. Placing my palm and fingers atop her mound, I eased my thumb beneath the fabric.

Gazing into Eden's eyes, I stroked at her clit.

Her lips parted. I caught the tease of white teeth and the tip of her tongue. I loved seeing her like that, loved bringing her to that point time after time. I could have gone my entire life without ever reaching an orgasm again so long as I could watch her coming from the things I did to her body.

"Fuck," I groaned. "I could get off just watching you squirm."

Her hands drifted down her body to cover mine. "I hope you're going to do more than just watch."

I grinned, held her arms at her sides and slid my legs out behind me. The movement brought my head even with her pussy. Keeping her arms imprisoned, I tongued and chewed at the lace panties.

She wiggled, moaned, her hips dancing with an insistent need.

"Let me feel your cock inside me," she begged.

I would give her my cock, but not yet. We had left our bed early that morning, showered separately, had a light breakfast while I hungered for her taste. Releasing her hands, I tugged the panties away.

"First, you're going to feel my tongue and fingers ravaging your sweet hole."

She quivered in acquiescence.

"I'm going to make you come so hard, I'll be able to drink you up."

The way she shook with need, I had her halfway there.

"Then," I bragged. "When I've melted every bone in your body, I might fuck you with my cock."

"Talk, talk, talk," she said, her grin making her motive transparent.

Forcing her thighs wider, I lowered my mouth to her cunt. I took a slow lick up the line of her clit, starting with the pearl beneath the hood and stopping where her labia came together. I paused, maintaining pressure until she wiggled with impatience. Then I sucked the hood into my mouth, my tongue pointed to abuse that little kernel of need it shielded.

She twined her fingers through my hair, twirled the tips to ensure her grip was thoroughly knotted. "Please, love," she begged.

Her words squeezed at my chest. I didn't know how I had survived all those years without hearing her voice every day, without hearing her call me "love." I would be lost without her. I didn't think she realized how much I needed her.

"I would cross a thousand hells to hold you," I said, lifting my mouth from her sex.

"You won't need to," she promised. "I will always be by your side."

Satisfied with the vow, I gave a rough nod and lowered my mouth. She dissolved at the contact. Her fingers tightened in my hair and she gave a hard thrust up, her climax rushing hot and liquid onto my tongue. I swirled the sticky juices. Finger and thumb pinching her labia open, I probed at her pussy, my tongue thrusting thickly inside her until her hips resumed their chaotic dance.

She panted, moaned, arched against my mouth. My fingers slid inside her, three wide, wider still as I pulled them out.

"My bones are already melted," she said, her hands tugging for me to move up her body.

"Patience, beautiful." Separating from her, I quickly stripped my clothes away.

Eden had her dress pulled up, her face covered as she tried to remove her arms from the sleeves. I whipped the fabric off. Flipping her so that she was on her knees in front of me, I unhooked the lacy white bra and tossed it onto the floor with the rest of our clothes.

All the times we had joined since our reconciliation, I had taken her with my cock sheathed inside a condom. Married, wanting to start on our family right away, I didn't need to hunt one of the damnable things down. I slid in, the first thrust rough and leaving me deeply seated within her pussy. I pushed her chest against the mattress, my palm remaining against her back to keep her in position. I wrapped her long, auburn hair around my other hand.

I held the reins, metaphorically, but she had all the control. I would do anything she wanted, go anywhere she wanted. She only had to ask.

Her ass bobbed, groans spilling across the bed as she thrust backwards against my cock.

"Come with me," she begged, the wild quiver in her voice telling me I had her pressed hard against the wall of her next climax.

I pulled back until the fat head of my cock tugged at the seal of her pussy. I slammed back in. Still holding onto her hair with one hand, I wrapped the other around the side of her throat, the pad of my thumb pressed against her spine. Out to the edge again I withdrew then took another hard slam forward.

My gaze glued to the side of her face, I watched for any hint that I might be hurting her. I saw only pleasure in the sheen of sweat on her skin and the gentle O of her mouth as she panted for breath. Her cunt coiled around me, sucked at my cock until my thrusts pounded into her with a greedy slurp.

Eden convulsed. Her pussy throbbed with a hard and fast rhythm. Seeing her eyes roll back in her head, I surrendered with her. My come jetted inside her, filling her so full it seeped at the edges. Releasing my grip on her throat, I shoved a hand between her chest and the mattress and lifted her up. Her weight pushed her down, her cunt swallowing me all the way to my base.

My erection showing no sign of fading, I kept Eden upright. My fingers played at her clit, relentlessly prolonging her orgasm. The soft internal tissues of her pussy swelled around my shaft. We would have been locked in place, stuck together until one or the other of us receded, but she was so wet. Her pussy dripped with my come and her own juices, allowing her to ride my cock, the forceful rub of her clit along my stationary fingers her own doing.

Whipping around me, Eden shrieked her pleasure one last time and then she went limp.

Carefully, I eased her back onto the mattress and withdrew. Dipping into the bathroom, I ran two washcloths under the faucet, the first one cold, the second one warm. Returning to the bed, I washed her with the warm one first.

Snagging a pillow, I propped her bottom up before I soothed her enflamed flesh with the cold cloth. I wanted my come to remain inside her. The deeply throbbing pussy worked to tug the liquid toward her cervix. Covering her sex with my mouth, I pushed my tongue into the hole, keeping the succulent cunt stuffed with miniature packets of my DNA.

"Mmm..." Eden flexed and stretched, her nails combing through my hair. "You keep doing things like that, you won't know I'm pregnant until I start showing."

Breaking contact, I lifted my head and gave her a confused look.

"I'm saying that I won't tell you because it feels so amazing," she clarified, her face all soft and dreamy. "I'm greedy like that. I don't want you to stop."

"Baby," I answered, lowering my head with a fresh promise. "I never will."

I reached up as she reached down, our fingers interlacing. Pleasure rocked at her hips, her arousal too demanding for me to deny. I moved upward, still holding her hands. She widened the spread of her thighs as I pinned her arms up high, her body helpless to refuse me.

"Thank you," she whispered, love and desire blazing in her hazel eyes. "Thank you for rescuing me -- then and now."

I shook my head. No thanks were ever needed.

She was the one who had rescued me.

#####THE END#####

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