Knowing Me Knowing You (19 page)

‘
Well go on, let’s try one,
’
Joel suggested.

‘
You want me to think one up?
’

‘
You suggested it.
’

‘
OK, well Joel, we ask
ed Kate -
if you thought that Joel was cheating on you what would you do? Would you
A,
ignore it, it will burn out soon enough and your relationship can survive any crisis,
B,
confront Joel about it, no one treats you like that and you need to get to the bo
ttom of it or C,
dump him, any sniff of a rumour is enough for you.
’

Joel looked at Kate, as if hoping to find the answer in her face. His eyes were so large, like saucers filled with dark coffee. His gaze was so intense she had to look away and clutch hold of the wine bottle to distract
herself
.

‘
I would like to think it was
B,
because I would want things out in the open and I don’t really do cheating by the way.
’

‘
Well you’d be completely without a Kissing Gate there because the correct answer would be
A
,
’
Kate replied.

‘
You’d ignore it? Why?
’

‘
I
hate confrontation, of any sort.
I wouldn’t know what to do or say and I’d be scared what you would do or say.
Speaking hypothetically obviously.
’

‘
I’m surprised; I didn’t have you down as that sort of person,
’
Joel admitted.

‘
Oh I’m a doormat, always have been,
’
Kate replied with half a smile.

‘
Is that what happened with Matthew? He cheated on you?
’
Joel asked.

‘
No
.
N
o, at least, I don’t think so
.
I don’t know, maybe he did. I guess he might have, I didn’t think about
that
.
God, how stupid,
’
Kate
exclaimed,
her brow furrowing as she considered what Joel was suggesting.

‘
Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry, I just thought, because of the question you asked
…
’

‘
God, you’re probably right, he was probably seeing this Amanda all along. That’s why she came round here and thumped me
.
I expect it isn’t just the money thing, I expect I’ve been a thorn in her side for ages.
’

‘
Forget I said anything. Let’s talk about something else,
’
Joel suggested quickly.

‘
Good idea. Tell me about the Army. What did you do? Where did you go?
’
Kate asked quickly, shaking her head as if to remove Matthew from her thoughts.

‘
A lot of different places,
’
Joel said shifting in his seat.

‘
Well where? I’m interested.
’

‘
Well I went to
Germany
for a while,
Northern Ireland
and then -
Afghanistan
,
’
Joel replied with hesitation.

‘
God, really?
Was it awful? Did you have to kill people? I mean I know that’s what you have to do ordinarily but some people in the Army don’t do that do they, they just play in the Army band or cook or something. Ah you were a chef
!
T
hat’s why you’re so good at cooking and tidying up and making things shiny. They do that in the Army don’t they
-
scour pans until you can see your face in the bottom,
’
Kate gabbled drunkenly.

‘
I wasn’t a chef,
’
Joel replied with an absent look on his face.

‘
Bugler?
I could definitely see you bugling.
’

‘
No, I…
’
Joel began.

‘
Drummer?
No hang on, paramedic type person
-
you must know first aid for your job at the gym. Yes
,
I could definitely see you carrying people over your shoulder under heavy gunfire.
’

‘
I’d rather not talk about it to be hone
st; it was a while ago now and…
’

‘
Lynn
at work, her husband’s in the Army and he went to
Afghanistan
. He got
blown up by a mine or something.
W
ell, he didn’t personally
,
but he was close to the person who did get blown up and he got injured
- lost one of his hands.
I don’t think he’s allowed to do too much now,
’
Kate continued not noticing Joel’s reluctance to discuss the topic.

‘
Shall we do another question because they won’t be asking about the Army in the show will
they
? Not exactly light-hearted entertainment is it? They’ll be asking about who snores more loudly and who gets up in the night to pee the most,
’
Joel spoke, putting a smile back on his face and trying to direct the conversation.

‘
Is that why you left the Army? Did you get injured or something,
’
Kate
asked
not hearing his desperation to move on.

‘
No, I didn’t get injured. Listen
,
I really don’t want to talk about the Army
any
more
,
’
Joel told her in serious tones.

‘
Oh
,
s
orry,
’
Kate said finally ending her questioning and seeing the unease in Joel’s expression.

‘
I’d better get going.
I didn’t realise it was so late,
’
Joel said, checking his watch and immediately rising to his feet.

‘
Oh are you sure? I mean there’s plenty of
wine,
at least I
think there is. I know
there’s some gateau left,
’
Kate offered
also standing up.

‘
I’m fine, thank you and thank you for dinner, it was really nice,
’
Joel spoke his heart
-
stopping smile back on his mouth.

‘
Well thank you for coming and for answering all the
stupid questions.
I think we did quite well
didn’t
we? Whoops, now I’m sounding like Bruce Forsyth,
’
Kate said as she showed Joel to the door.

‘
We did well,
’
Joel agreed.

‘
So, shall I call you? Do you think we should do this again?
’
Kate spoke.

‘
Give me a call, maybe next week,
’
Joel replied, opening the door.

‘
Oh
OK, well, see you then, bye,
’
Kate said and she let Joel out and watched him walk down the path.

She let out a sigh as she closed the door. Although
Bethan
was asleep upstairs the house seemed so quiet and empty, like the fun and laughter had just left along with Joel. She was sorry he was gone. She had enjoyed his company and playing the silly game and her mouth actually ached from full
-
on belly laughs she thought she had forgotten how to perform. She closed her eyes as she leant against the door. She hadn’t laughed enough with Matthew. Maybe that was why he left her. She hadn’t laughed enough with him and her hair wasn’t red.

‘
So? How did the chicken chasseur go down? Goodness Sweetie, what happened to your nose?
’
Hermione asked as she brought a cup of blueberry tea over to Kate the following day.

‘
Oh it’s not as bad as it looks. I think I had a visit from Matthew’s girlfriend last night
.
A
t least I hope it was her because otherwise I have no idea who it was. Can’t remember giving out my home address to any irate clients just lately,
’
Kate spoke, taking a sip of her drink.

‘
God Kate, she thumped you? What did you do?
’

‘
I stood there with a nose bleed and
Bethan
winding around my legs, not knowing what to do. Luckily Joel turned up.
’

‘
And how did the dinner go? Learn lots about each other?
’
Hermione
asked
excitedly.

‘
It was quite good fun. Actually I haven’t laughed so much in ages,
’
Kate admitted, smiling as she remembered the role play.

‘
That’s great!
So, what next?
’

‘
I don’t know
,
it all went a bit weird. It was my fault, I was a bit tipsy, and I kept asking him about the Army and it was obviously a sore point and I think he got fed up with me going on about it. I do go on about things when I’m drunk don’t I?
’
Kate spoke.

‘
Mmm
, just a bit.
I remember the time you had one glass of Philip’s home-made wine and didn’t shut up about George Clooney.
’

‘
Well that stuff was very strong.
’

‘
So he’s been in the Army.
’

‘
Yeah, Ireland and Afghanistan.
Oh and he’s been an underwear model but I didn’t get round to asking details,
’
Kate spoke.

‘
Sloppy! I’d like to hear much more about that! Goodness,
Afghanistan
, that can’t have been nice
.
I wouldn’t have had him down as a soldier though, far too charming, not at all like the
squaddies
I used to go out with. Their idea of romance was nine pints of lager and a kebab,
’
Hermione said.

‘
And he’s adopted. I didn’t like to ask too much about that
,
I mean you never know quite how people feel about that situation do you?
’

‘
But you have to ask, that’s what getting to know the ins and outs of someone is all about. And that’s the knowledge you need to win the contest.
’

‘
I know but I didn’t want to pry too much straight away, I mean we’ve only just met.
’

‘
So when are you meeting up again?
’

‘
I don’t know, he said I should call him next week but I don’t know what to suggest doing. I mean we had to make up our own questions last night and it didn’t work properly. What we need is someone to set some for us, that would really be a test,
’
Kate informed, drinking more of her tea.

‘
Well that would have to be someone who was familiar with the format of the show and the sort of questions they ask,
’
Hermione said.

‘
Mmm
, yeah,
’
Kate responded.

‘
And someone who knows you quite well obviously, to play along with the ruse,
’
Hermione continued.

‘
Yeah,
’
Kate replied and she suddenly put down her tea and looked at her friend.

‘
Look no further! I would love to set the questions! I can’t think of anything more fun! Philip would love it too. Phone Joel, you can both come to dinner next week and we’ll re-enact
Knowing Me Knowing You
right here in my kitchen,
’
Hermione spoke excitedly.

‘
Are you sure? I mean, I don’t want to keep taking up so much of your time and
…
’
Kate began.