Knowing Me Knowing You (31 page)

‘
YES! A match! And a second Kissing Gate on the board! Kate and Joel, full marks, you can’t get any better than that! Let’s give them
a big hand
ladies
and g
entlemen and we will see them a little later in the talent round.
Kate and Joel everyone!
’
Larry spoke, directing them offstage.

Kate was beaming when they arrived backstage. It was the best start they could ever have imagined.

‘
I can’t believe we got full marks, we couldn’t have done any better!
’
Kate exclaimed happily.

‘
No,
’
Joel replied with a nod.

‘
What’s the matter? We’re completely on course for the finals and the money!
’
Kate screamed excitedly.

‘
Yeah I know.
’

‘
Can you believe we got both the questions right? Let’s have a drink.
Lager?
’
Kate offered, bouncing towards the free bar.

‘
Sure,
’
Joel replied with a half-hearted smile.

‘
Dreading the next bit though, wish I’d had time to think of a proper talent, my effort is going to get our marks down for sure. Judith Chalmers is going to absolutely hate it. I mean she’s been places, she’s seen exotic dancers in every corner of the globe, I am just going to look like some sort of untrained old-fashioned stripper,
’
Kate babbled as the barman gave her the drinks.

‘
If it’s any consolation my song isn’t the best either,
’
Joel spoke.

‘
No, it’s no consolation! I was relying on you to be a hit with the judges! Where’s your guitar? Did you want to have a little practi
s
e?
’
Kate suggested.

‘
No.
’

‘
But if you’re worried
-
do you want to play it to me?
’
Kate asked.

‘
No,
it
’
s
fine, I’ll be fine,
’
Joel insisted with a sigh.

‘
Are you OK?
’
Kate questioned.

‘
Yes, fine.
’

‘
You don’t look fine, you look a bit peaky. Are you ill or something? You should have said if you needed painkillers or something, I always carry
Calpol
and Ibuprofen.
’

‘
I’m alright, honestly
.
I
t’s a bit warm in here that’s all,
’
Joel replied, taking a swig of his drink.

‘
Do you want to go outside?
’

‘
No.
’

‘
OK.
’

‘
I’m just overcome that we did so well,
’
Joel joked with a smile.

‘
Me too,
’
Kate replied with a happy grin.

‘
Now ladies and g
entlemen we are in for an entertainment extravaganza next when our competing couples retake the stage to perform their talent for us.
Remember, after the first round, we have Kate and Joel, Hayley and Anthony and Brian and Martha all in joint first place with two Kissing Gates each. But the couple winning this round get
s
five Kissing Gates and the runners up get three Kissing Gates, so there is a lot to play for in this section of the competition. So then, without further ado, let’s welcome back onto the stage Joel
,
who is performing a James Morrison number on the guitar,
’
Larry Rawlins introduced.

‘
Good luck,
’
Kate spoke as she waited in the wings, her coat covering her burlesque outfit.

Joel smiled at her and went onto the stage where a stool and microphone had been set up. The audience applauded his entrance and then waited for him to begin.

He took a moment to compose himself and then he started to play.

As soon as his fingers hit the strings a hush descended over the room and everyone seemed mesmerised by every note. When he began to sing Kate could see the jaws of every female fall open as they admired this gorgeous former model with the fantastic voice. Joel sang powerfully and with emotion. The audience didn’t seem to faze him
at all.
H
e played beautifully, he sang well and when he came to the end of the performance the crowd clapped and cheered appreciatively.

He accepted his applause and then left the stage to rejoin Kate.

‘
You were brilliant, I had no idea you could play and sing like that,
’
Kate remarked, smiling at Joel as he took the guitar off.

‘
It was a bit rough around the edges, especially on the second verse,
’
Joel replied with a sigh.

‘
Rubbish! James Morrison himself couldn’t have performed it better and Judith was smiling the whole way through, tapping her fingers on the desk in time. She loved it,
’
Kate informed him.

‘
…
please welcome onto the stage, Kate Baxter!
’
Larry announced.

‘
God, it’s my turn. Here, hold my coat,
’
Kate ordered and she whipped it off to reveal the vintage cream and gold dress, with a corset style top.

Kate took a deep breath, thought about the reason she was doing this and closed her eyes. She had to get into character if this was going to work. She walked onto the stage and tried her best to look demure and in control.

Who was she trying to kid? She looked like someone out of Readers Wives or the ‘before’ look of someone from
Extreme Makeover
.

Some male members of the crowd whooped and cheered and Kate, although focussed, could see Colin Sykes sit a little further forward on his chair. Miranda had a face that looked like it had been sucking lemons and Andrew Kent was starting to perspire heavily due to the combination of spotlights, an ill-fitting shirt and the leather trousers.

The music, reminiscent of a
funked
-
up Glenn Miller, began and Kate tried to remember everything she had learnt from a few evenings on You Tube, a phone conversation with Mental Melanie and a couple of practi
s
e runs in front of the mirror. She moved lightly, yet confidently, pulling at her elbow length gloves and removing them as slowly and demurely as she could, much to the crowd’s enjoyment. She used her prop, a chair,
swooshing
her leg over it, sitting astride it, front to the audience, back to the audience, removing clothing as she went along. She smiled and looked in control, she held her arms high in the air and as the music reached a crescendo she whipped off the front of her dress so she was stood only in the corset and stockings.

The men wolf-whistled and cheered and the whole crowd applauded as Kate felt her cheeks redden. She bowed politely, collected her discarded clothes and then
hurried off the stage, grabbing her coat from Joel and putting it on as quickly as she could.

‘
Wow,
’
Joel spoke, smiling at her broadly.

‘
What?
’
Kate asked, hugging her coat to her.

‘
I’ve never seen anything quite like it before,
’
Joel told her.

‘
And I doubt you ever will. Was it that terrible? I don’t think any of the judges were particularly impressed. I’m sure I saw Judith purse her lips at one point.
’

‘
Are you kidding? It wasn’t terrible, it was terrific. I had no idea you did that,
’
Joel spoke.

‘
I don’t do that and
I won’t be doing it, ever again. I
t was
Lynn
’s stupid idea and I couldn’t come up with anything else at short notice. So there we go! We’re doomed!
’
Kate spoke. 

‘
After that performance I’d say we had it in the bag,
’
Joel told her.

‘
Really?
Was I good? It was completely out of character really and I didn’t have a clue what I was doing,
’
Kate exclaimed excitedly.

‘
It didn’t come across like that,
’
Joel assured her.

‘
Well,
good
. I was focussed, I was thinking about
Bethan
and the reason I
am
doing this whole insane competition and then I thought about the solicitor’s exam and I realised that without Matthew the world is my oyster. I can do whatever I want to do and I can be whoever I want to be. If I want to be a burlesque dancer then I will be,
’
Kate spoke, beaming.

‘
And is that what you want to be?
’

‘
I don’t know yet. I think I need to try pole dancing too, just to compare,
’
Kate admitted with a smile.

‘
Now that I would like to see,
’
Joel said.

‘
Come on, come on, all back on stage for the results of the talent round,
chop,
chop
Madeline and Michael.
H
ave I got Brian and Martha and Hayley and
Anthony?
’
Becky questioned as she flapped about in the green
room, collecting everyone together.

‘
I guess that means us as well,
’
Kate said, downing her drink and preparing to join the group.

‘
I guess it does. I hope we don’t have to perform again if the judges can’t decide,
’
Joel remarked.

‘
That won’t
happ
en,
they’re on a tight schedule.
T
hey have to finish on time for ad breaks and things,
’
Kate replied.

‘
Thank God for ad breaks.
’

‘
Right, let’s welcome them all back on stage please, our wonderful
Knowing Me Knowing You
contestants,
’
Larry Rawlins introduced, holding out a sequined arm.

The contestants filed back onto the stage as the audience and judges applauded them.

‘
Right, without further ado, the two couples, winners and runners-up in the talent round are
…
’

Kate held her breath and took hold of Joel’s hand. She squeezed her eyes shut and willed Larry Rawlins to say their names.

‘
Gloria and Mark!
’

Kate squeezed her eyes shut even tighter and felt her chest contract. She also sensed Joel’s grip tighten on her hand.

‘
And Kate and Joel!
’
Larry announced finally.

Kate snapped her eyes open and grinned gleefully.

‘
And out of those two couples the judges were unanimous, the winners, with five Kissing Gates to add to their board are
-
Gloria and Mark with their wonderful acts, the juggling and the aerobics,
’
Larry spoke, clapping his hands together as the sixty year old Gloria French
-k
issed her partner for all to see.

‘
Oh God, please tell me
he
did the aerobics,
’
Kate remarked.

‘
So well done Gloria and Mark, five Kissing Gates and Kate and Joel, three Kissing Gates
,
which means you
are our front runners with one round left to go,
’
Larry announced.

‘
Don’t be disappointed,
’
Joel said.

‘
I’m not. Well, perhaps a bit.
I’d like to see what fantastic juggling and aerobics they did,
’
Kate said.