Knowing Me Knowing You (30 page)

‘
Oh we made plenty of use of that earlier,
’
Joel replied
and he slipped his arms around Kate’s waist as he stood behind her.

‘
I just bet you did you naughty boy. So, how are preparations going for the show tonight? I have to say
Joel,
you look in perfect physical condition
.
I
f I were hosting the show I wouldn’t care what your answers to the questions were.
Full marks from me.
Perfect.
’

‘
Have you come with anyone? I hear Colin is bringing Dawn, the trainee from the
F
amily department,
’
Kate said, looking for Miranda’s reaction.

‘
Yes, apparently so.
I’ve come with Andrew Kent, he’s just at the bar ordering some snacks, he’ll be here any minute,
’
Miranda replied unfazed.

‘
We’d better join the others for the water polo,
’
Joel said, steering Kate away from Miranda.

‘
Ooo
, water polo, all that splashing and leaping about chasing a ball, I can’t wait to watch you in action,
’
Miranda said, smiling at Joel.

‘
Ah, here’s Andrew now, my word I could never have envisaged how he would look in trunks,
’
Kate commented as the rotund, fifty year old partner appeared from the main building wearing Oakley sunglasses and carrying a large silver tray on which was a bottle of champagne, two glasses and what looked like two bags of pork
scratchings
.

Miranda ignored Kate’s
comment,
put her sunglasses back on and carefully lowered herself down onto a lounger.

‘
You’re cruel,
’
Joel remarked as they moved to join their fellow contestants.

‘
It was the least she deserved for eyeing up my boyfriend,
’
Kate joked and she splashed Joel in the chest with the water.

‘
Hey!
’
he called, chasing after her.

‘
This is crazy, what was I thinking? I can’t do this!
’
Ka
te remarked, downing a rum and C
oke.

She and Joel were sat in the greenroom waiting for the show to begin. A draw had been made to settle the order and they were on first.

Each couple had to answer two questions and then it was the talent round which was to be judged by a specialist panel consisting of a previous
X Factor
contestant, a theatre arts drama coach and Judith Chalmers.  After those results were in there would be a final question to determine the winners.

‘
We’re going to be fine; we’ve probably practised more than any couple here,
’
Joel reassured her.

‘
Because we don’t know each other!
’
Kate reminded him.

‘
And how much do you think real couples know about each other?
’

‘
Everything.
’

‘
Like you and Matthew?
’

‘
That’s below the belt.
’

‘
I’m just trying to get your confidence up. We can do this, we’ve p
ractised and we know each other.
W
e couldn’t have done much more if we tried,
’
Joel spoke.

‘
I’m dreading the talent round,
’
Kate said, finishing her drink.

‘
I can’t wait, I have absolutely no idea what you are going to come out and do.
’

‘
Neither do
I
.
’

‘
You’re going to be fantastic,
’
a familiar voice spoke.

Kate turned around to see Lynn and her husband Darren stood behind them.

‘
Oh
Lynn
, you’re here! Hello Darren,
’
Kate greeted as she enveloped her secretary in a hug.

‘
Excuse me if I don’t shake hands,
’
Darren joked, waving his stump at Kate.

‘
Stop doing that Darren, everyone thinks it’s really freaky,
’
Lynn
told him.

‘
Joel, this is Lynn and her husband Darren.
Lynn
’s my saviour at work; she does far more than she should,
’
Kate introduced.

‘
Hello. Nice to meet you both,
’
Joel greeted shyly, trying not to look at Darren and his injury.

‘
Has Hermione rung? Is
Bethan
OK?
’
Kate asked.

‘
I phoned her just before we slipped past the security man on the door.
Bethan’s
in
bed, fast asleep with Mr Crisps.
Hermione, Philip and the older kids, I forget their names, are sat in front of the
tele
waiting for the show to start,
’
Lynn
informed her.

‘
God, I wish you hadn’t told me that,
’
Kate replied.

‘
So, are you nervous?
’
Lynn
enquired
.

‘
Yes! I’ve already had three drinks on top of the drinks I had with the canapés earlier,
’
Kate said.

‘
You’ll be fine. Just focus on the Lady Dragon, you have got to see what she’s wearing. Think Liz Hurley in
that
dress, you know, the one with the safety pins and then mix that image with something Lady Gaga might turn up in,
’
Lynn explained.

‘
God, I’d better not look
.
T
he bikini at lunchtime was almost enough to make the chicken
satays
reappear.
’

‘
And Andrew Kent is wearing leather trousers.
’

‘
Stop!
I don’t want to hear any more,
’
Kate shouted.

‘
Kate! Joel! We need you backstage! Chop
,
chop!
’
Becky suddenly yelled as she bounced towards them with her clipboard.

‘
Oh good luck!
We’d better go back to our seats, see you later,
’
Lynn
spoke, waving a hand at the couple.

‘
Bye,
’
Darren added, directing the response at Joel.

Joel hurriedly took hold of Kate’s hand and led her towards Becky who was rushing to the stage door.

‘
You’re shaking,
’
Kate remarked, feeling Joel’s hand.

‘
Nerves,
’
Joel replied with a smile.

‘
But you don’t get nervous, ever. You told me,
’
Kate spoke, looking up at him.

‘
First time for everything,
’
he replied.

The music began; Larry Rawlins introduced himself and ran through the rules of the show for the audience and the viewers at home. Kate and Joel were introduced to the crowd and then it was time for the questions to start.

Kate could see Miranda in the audience. She was wearing a white dress, tied down the sides with thin crisscross strings and Andrew Kent
was next to her,
dressed in black leather trousers
teamed
with a bright red shirt and a thin Eighties style leather tie. His hair was slicked back and he was chewing gum. He didn’t look like a partner in a successful law firm, he looked like a pimp.

Colin Sykes and Dawn the trainee were sat at the same table, all over each other. She was almost sat on his lap and his shirt was half undone.

‘
So Kate, it’s you to go into the Booth of Tranquillity while we ask Joel two questions,
’
Larry spoke as the Love Dove, now sporting a sequined waistcoat
,
grabbed Kate’s arm and hauled her towards the booth.

‘
Right, Joel, as soon as Kate has her blindfold and headphones on I will ask the first question
-
OK, I’m assured she can’t hear us now. Right, Joel, Kate has been invited to a party organised by her very best friend but she has a cold and doesn’t really feel like goin
g. What does she do? Does she A,
go to the party, she hates to let people down, does she
B,
not go to the party, she feels too
unwell and her friend will understand or
C,
does she tell her friend she’s too ill to go but offer to bake something for the party to make up for it,
’
Larry spoke.

The audience let out a trickle of completely unnecessary laughter.

‘
Well Kate definite
ly doesn’t bake so it won’t be C
. I will have to say
A,
she would go to the party and not let her friend down,
’
Joel answered.

‘
Ah! Kate’s a good friend Ladies and Gentlemen, isn’t that nice. OK, question two, Kate finds out that her best friend’s chap is cheating on her. What does she do? Does she
A,
tell her friend straight away, honesty is the best policy, does she
B,
tell the guy she knows exactly what he’s up to and order him to come clean or
C,
does she do nothing at all, after all it’s none of her business?
’

‘
That’s a tough one
-
but I think she would say
A,
she would tell her friend straightaway,
’
Joel spoke.

‘
Right, well, without further ado, let’s get Kate back and see if we can get some matches and some Kissing Gates on the board,
’
Larry spoke theatrically.

Joel took hold of Kate’s hand as she rejoined them and he gave it a reassuring squeeze.

It was hard to adjust to the bright lights when you had been blindfolded in a plastic tube but as Kate’s eyes regained their focus it seemed like there were hundreds of people in the audience, all looking at her. It was completely unnerving now
,
but what was it going to be like when she was dressed up in a skimpy burlesque outfit?

‘
OK, Kate, we said to Joel
-
Kate has been invited to a party organised by her best friend but she has a cold and doesn’t really feel like going. What does she do? Does she not go to the party, she feels too unwell and her friend will understand or does she tell her friend she is too ill to go but offer to bake something for the party to make up for it
,
or does she go to the party, she hates to let people down,
’
Larry asked.

Kate looked at Joel as if to gauge from his expression what he had answered.

‘
Well, I don’t like to let anyone down so I would go to the party,
’
Kate said tentatively.

‘
YES!
A match and an all important Kissing Gate on the board!
’
Larry yelled, prompting the Love Dove to start flapping its wings and running over to the scoreboard.

Kate smiled at Joel and he squeezed her hand again.

‘
OK, let’s not get carried away.
T
he
next question, we said to Joel -
Kate finds out her best friend’s chap is cheating on her. What does she do? Does she tell the guy she knows exactly what he is up to and order
him to come clean?
D
oes she tell her friend straight a
way, honesty is the best policy?
Or d
oes she do nothing at all, after all it’s none of her business,
’
Larry
enquired
.

‘
I would tell my friend straight away because honesty is always the best policy,
’
Kate answered confidently, looking at Joel.