L.A. Fire (39 page)

 
Julian eyed me carefully, his expression suddenly guarded. “Are you back
together with him?”

 
I stared at Julian for a long moment, taking him in. He was impeccably dressed
as usual, in a navy blue Armani suit, but he had dark circles under his eyes,
and his expression was tortured. I took some comfort in seeing that our breakup
was taking a toll on him too. Sitting there, looking up at him, all I wanted to
do was fold myself into his chest, and breath in the strong, masculine scent of
his skin that I’d become so addicted to.

 
But I couldn’t. I had to focus on my work, my career. When it came to Julian,
it looked like I’d have to make a choice between work or love. With him, I
couldn’t have both. And right now I had to build a name for myself in the
industry.

 
“No,” I answered decisively. “It’s over between us. For good.”

 
He face visibly relaxed, and the tension left his body. He eyed me hopefully.
“Join me for lunch today,” he said.

 
I felt my brow scrunch in consternation and I shook my head. “I can’t, Julian.”

 
His face became hard and determined. “I want you back, Sarah. I want you back
so much it hurts. But I’m willing to wait.” His eyes filled with heat and
longing, and he reached down and reverently stroked my face. “This kind of
connection only comes along once in a lifetime. Please don’t throw it away.”

 
I bit down on my lip, and looked away. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw
Julian nod in resignation. Then he turned around and took off in the direction
of his office.

***

 
At lunch time, I decided to eat at my desk. I’d packed a sandwich, and as I was
nibbling away, I started surfing the net, looking for job openings at other
talent agencies. I came across an opening for an entry level position at Stone
and Allen. I’d heard good things about the agency. Athena Stone was known as
much for her flamboyant style as her cut-throat bargaining tactics with studio
executives. She’d been in the business for ten years and had managed to sign a
number of very high profile clients. As I was taking in the details of the job
posting, I heard someone clear his throat behind me. I turned around to see
Paul standing there, eyeing my computer screen.

 
“I see you’re shopping around for alternative employment opportunities.”

 
My stomach twisted with guilt, and I tried to wrack my brain for something to
say. I opened my mouth to speak, but Paul held up his hand. “Come into my
office, please.”

 
I got up and followed him to his office, the guilt I was feeling now mingling
with dread. I couldn’t afford to get fired. I needed the money. How was I going
to talk myself out of this one?

 
When I’d taken a seat across from my boss, I immediately launched into an
explanation. “I’m so sorry, Paul. But I feel I’ve let you down. And that I’ve
jeopardized our work relationship. I wasn’t seriously considering leaving. I
was just exploring the chance for getting a new start.”

 
Paul nodded. Then he picked up a pencil and started tapping it thoughtfully on
his desk. “Despite everything, Sarah, I would hate to lose you. Your talents
have been a real asset to this agency. But I do understand your need for a
fresh start.” He pressed his lips together, and gave his desk one final,
decisive tap. “I know Athena Stone,” he said. “I can make a phone call on your
behalf.”

 
A feeling of hope swelled in my chest. “That would be wonderful,” I said
quietly.

 
Paul adjusted his spectacles, peering over them at me. “I can’t promise you
anything,” he said. “But I’m sure I can at least get you an interview.”

 
I nodded. “Thank you so much,” I said.

 
He nodded back, then waved me away, and I went straight back to my desk. When I
sunk back into my chair, I felt a huge release of tension. I hadn’t been fired,
and I had the prospect of another job just ahead of me. I had no guarantee, of
course. Nevertheless, things were looking up.

***

 
Stone and Allen was just a few blocks away, and Paul had managed to schedule an
interview for me during my lunch hour the following day. The agency was located
in another steel and glass office tower, and as I rode the elevator up, I
nervously glanced at my reflection in the mirror, checking to make sure my
makeup wasn’t smudged, and that I looked presentable. That day I’d worn a pink
lace Nina Ricci dress with beige suede pumps, which I considered a conservative
look with a slight bit of edge.

 
When I entered the office, I was struck by how different the décor here was
from McGregor Cooper. The art on the wall was all modern and abstract, and made
it looked like the cream walls had been splashed with greens and reds and
blues. A modern red couch with silver legs stretched across the waiting area,
and a brass coffee table full of magazines sat right in front of it.

 
The most striking thing about the office, however, was Athena Stone. When she
came to greet me, I was immediately overwhelmed by her appearance and manner.
She was at least six feet tall, and her ample curves were showcased by a
Bottega Veneta dress that looked like it had been designed by Jackson Pollock.
Her feet were sheathed in strappy black stilettos, making her appear even more
statuesque. With her high cheekbones, wide green eyes, and full lips, she was a
beautiful woman. I would have been completely intimidated by her if it weren’t
for her warm smile, and the friendly sparkle in her eyes.

 
When we were settled in her office, her expression became no nonsense. “Your
resume is impressive,” she said. “As was the letter of recommendation I
received from Paul. He’s usually not one to praise, so your work for him must
have been exceptional.”

 
I felt warmth and gratitude spread through me. Clearly, Paul wasn’t holding the
loss of the Phillips account against me. Athena Stone’s eyes suddenly became hard
and assessing. “What worries me,” she said, “Is that you’re leaving Cooper
McGregor after only being there for a month. Care to explain?” As her eyes
scrutinized me, I realized that I had two choices. I could make up some sort of
story about the agency not being the right fit, or I could come clean. I
decided to come clean.

 
I looked her squarely in the eye and said, “I was dating Julian McGregor, and
things got a little uncomfortable around the office.” Athena Stone nodded and
flashed me a wide smile. The look on her face told me she’d been testing me,
and that I’d passed.

 
“I appreciate your honesty,” she said. “It must have been tough dating someone
so well established while you were trying to make a name for yourself.”

 
I nodded, and a silent understanding passed between us. “It’s been a pleasure
meeting you,” she said, getting to her feet, then coming over to shake my hand.
“I’ll be in touch with you soon,” she added, and the smile in her eye had me
feeling confident, even though I didn’t want to get my hopes up.

***

  
Three hours later, I was sitting at my desk, reading another abysmal spy
thriller, when the phone call came. “Ms. Stevens,” said Athena Stone, her
smooth, no nonsense voice immediately recognizable. “I wanted to let you know
that you’re hired. You start at the beginning of next week.”

 
I thanked her profusely, then got off the phone. Intending to thank Paul for
all of his help, I got to my feet and started heading over to his office. But
Julian came out of nowhere and instantly shot in front of me, blocking my path.
His eyes were intense and scrutinizing. “I hear you’ve been interviewing,” he
said.

 
I felt my guard go up, and my lips quirked up in a tight smile. “Yes,” I said.
“In fact, I just got hired. By Athena Stone. I’ll be working as her assistant.”

 
Julian’s face brightened up. “That’s wonderful news,” he said. Then he reached
for my hand and gave it a tight squeeze. “That means we can get back together.”

 
I pulled away my hand and took a step back, which caused Julian’s face to cloud
over. It pained me to pull away. Everything in me wanted to draw him close and
never let go. But dating him had done too much damage to my career. And if I
wanted to save face, and then build a name for myself, I had to stay away from
him or be forever reduced to the role of trophy girlfriend. “I can’t, Julian,”
I said, a slight tremble in my voice. I know he heard it, because a glimmer of
hope passed across his face.

 
“I’ll no longer be the boss’s partner. We’ll just be colleagues in the industry
who happen to be dating each other.”

 
I felt a wave of sadness pass through me, and my pain must have registered on
my face, because his expression softened. He looked at me expectantly, waiting
for my response.

 
“Julian, let’s not kid ourselves. I’m nowhere even close to being your
colleague. Sure, I’m a quick study. And I know how to recognize talent. But I
don’t have your experience. I don’t have the expertise you’ve spent at least a
decade developing. Maybe when I’ve spent a few more years in the industry, I’ll
begin to make a name for myself, but right now I’m a newbie. An assistant,
learning the ropes. And you’re a big shot. You’re so way out of my league it’s
not even funny.”

 
Julian’s eyes filled with anger, and his whole body went stiff. “How many times
do I need to tell you that you are my equal, Sarah.” I arched a skeptical
eyebrow at him. He ignored my expression, but his gaze became more intense.
“You’re my intellectual match. And we fulfill each other’s emotional needs.
Yes, I have years of experience on you both as an agent, and as a man. But we
don’t have to be on equal footing in everything to make this thing work.” He
cupped my chin and tilted my head up so our eyes met again. “Do you understand
that?”

 
I bit my lip, and felt my chest constrict painfully. “It would be different if
we weren’t in the same industry, Julian. Then it wouldn’t matter. But right
now, to everyone in Hollywood, it will look like I latched on to you, hoping
for an easy ride to the top.”

 
Julian let out an exasperated sigh, and his eyes glimmered angrily. “Who gives
a shit what other people think.”

 
I shot him a frustrated look. “I do. Because it’s my reputation at stake. Your
reputation is solid. You can afford to flaunt the rules, and flip the bird at
anyone who dares to call you out. But I can’t.”

 
Julian bridged the short distance between us, and pulled me into his arms. The
moment I felt his chest against my cheek, my whole body started quivering. I
wanted to melt into him. I wanted his mouth on mine. His lips caressing my
neck, his hands all over my body. I whimpered, and he started stroking my hair.
“I miss you so much, baby,” he whispered in my ear. “And I know you miss me
too. All these nights without you have been brutal. I can’t sleep. It’s killing
me not to have you beside me. Please come home.”

 
I looked up at him, and his expression was so pleading, so earnest. I wanted to
have him back. God, I wanted so badly to have him back. But I couldn’t cave.
Even if it made me miserable right now, I couldn’t give in. If I let him take
over my world, I’d regret it later. And by then the damage would be done, and
it would be so much harder to heal. I’d seen it first hand with my mother. And
I couldn’t let that happen to me. I tore myself away from him. “I can’t,
Julian,” I whispered. “I just can’t.”

 
I started walking away from him, now heading toward the washroom. I needed a
few minutes to get myself together before I talked to Paul. “Sarah,” he called
out. I paused, and turned around. His expression was dark and deadly serious.
“I told you I’ll wait. For as long as it takes.”

 
My lip started trembling violently, and my throat constricted painfully. We
stared at each other for a long time, the intensity and the sexual charge
between us palpable. I finally nodded curtly, broke our gaze, and turned away.

 
Monday morning at Stone and Allen, despite the flamboyance of both my boss and
the office décor, wasn’t all that different from a typical day at Cooper
McGregor. Although Athena was more approachable, she was just as hard-working
and disciplined as Paul. By mid-morning I was typing up a new contract, and
taking a few moments here and there to get acquainted with the contents of the
slush pile.