LANYON Josh (7 page)

What was happening to him? Will was making him feel too much, too intensely. He was giving up control

-- no, admit it, control was being taken from him. That finger shoving even deeper in his body, forcing him to feel and respond. He bit his lip, trying not to cry out, to beg for more.

Will was going to make him come -- just like that, and despite the dizzy pleasure, Taylor began to get mad. This wasn’t what he’d wanted. He hadn’t surrendered his will for this impersonal manipulation. He wanted Will’s cock inside his body, not his hand. He wanted Will feeling it too, helpless with it, not playing him. He grabbed his dick and began to work himself, needing to control his body’s reaction, to at least control his own orgasm.

“Next time I’m doing
you
,” he warned roughly. He focused on his own hands, what he was doing to himself, fighting to bring himself back under control.

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Will’s other arm let him go; he felt Will twisting, groping outside the pool, and then the tear of foil but it was distant because he just couldn’t seem to think beyond that finger -- two fingers now -- pushing knowledgably inside his body, stroking and massaging him. Well, he’d said he wanted a massage, hadn’t he? Not quite what he’d pictured. His hands rested weak and heavy on his groin.

“I don’t want --” His breath caught raggedly, and against his best intentions he was shoving back, craving that touch buried in his body.

“Yeah, you do. You’re desperate for it. You don’t fool me,” Will murmured. “If you were a cat you’d be purring.” He wriggled his fingers, and Taylor, still trying to preserve the illusion of self-command, snarled. Will chuckled, but the joke was on Taylor because Will deliberately changed his angle and the pressure, and Taylor’s voice cut off on a sound that was embarrassingly kittenish.

To distract himself he began to pump his cock again, water splashing, forcing himself to action.

“No you don’t. Not without me you don’t.” Will heaved up, giving him a little bounce to break his concentration. “Wait for me.”

Taylor groaned in frustration as Will moved around some more, and then suddenly Will half picked him up, one powerful arm clamped around Taylor’s waist, shifting Taylor’s slick, buoyant body. A few errant pokes at balls and cheeks, and without more warning than that, Will’s cock pushed inside.

Taylor froze at the shock of it. Never. Never before had he let this happen. He had another guy’s cock crammed in his ass. He was letting another guy take him. He shook with the pain and confusion of it.

Will was groaning. “Christ God almighty, Taylor…” His voice sounded desperate. On the edge of tears.

Will was more shocked than Taylor was -- and Taylor calmed a little, listening, absorbing the truth of that.

Will trembled with the effort of holding motionless, but Taylor could feel his heart thundering behind his own, and any fear that he was alone in this, that he had relinquished too much for too little, faded. He winced -- wriggled, trying to accommodate that thick rigidity. Water was not enough of a lubricant. What had they been thinking?

“Are you okay?” Will sounded hoarse. He rocked against Taylor -- stopped himself -- then rocked again like he just couldn’t help it. “Say…something.”

To his astonishment, Taylor heard himself whimper. A helpless little submissive sound -- and he nudged his ass against Will’s groin in clear invitation.

WTF?
Literally
WTF.

And Will responded instantly, unleashed, thrusting in fierce, deep strokes into Taylor’s tight channel, grunting softly like it was a fight, like he was taking body blows.

And Taylor responded by humping back, making those helpless little encouraging cries. Pushing, shoving, insisting.

Well, he’d asked for it, and now he was getting it, impaled on Will’s cock and getting fucked hard and thoroughly. And there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it, mostly because he didn’t want to do a damn thing about it. Will slammed into him, setting the pace -- hard and fast -- and Taylor raced to catch
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up, begging for more, just about wild with it. But at least it was mutual now. Both of them out of control with pleasure and pain and longing and bewilderment. This was
them
. And everything Taylor believed he knew about their partnership was taking a beating.

Splish, splash, he was pounding my ass…

He giggled a little hysterically and Will laughed too, a breathless huff. “You…crazy…bastard…”

And now Taylor had the rhythm, sliding up and down the length of Will’s cock while he grabbed himself hard and jerked off under water, making a little turbulence like the struggles of a ship going down or a drowning sailor sinking under for the last time.

Their sweat hit the water in glistening droplets, steam rising. It was moist and hot and sexy as all get out although they were probably alarming the hell out of the local wildlife.

Taylor was bumping and grinding, trying not to lose the pace, wrestling Will for control. And Will fighting every step of the way, insisting on command. It was frenetic. Sensation started at the base of his cock and spine and sparkled up through nerves and muscle.

Will cursed under his breath and bit the vulnerable join of Taylor’s neck and shoulder. Taylor bit back another gasp of something between a laugh and a sob, and then Will’s hand covered his, pumping him frantically.

He was a little surprised when Will’s face nudged his, Will’s mouth latching on, sweet and hot and hungry. Oh, God. Kisses from Will. His chest tightened in crazy emotional response.

He’d known it would be sweet, but this was almost unbearable, his heart swelling with so much…

feeling
for Will. Such a terrible tenderness and longing and…love.

And then Will cried out, something broken and inarticulate that Taylor swallowed. He could feel the throb of Will’s orgasm thrumming through his own body, hot water and rubber pushing into him and spilling right out again, and he was sorry it wasn’t just their bodies, silk-skinned steel, but it was still so good --

Flagging, Will thrust against him again, sharply, once…twice…

He began to come himself, spurting into the water, a milky cloud that evaporated as if it had never been.

It was over so quickly. Not fair at all considering how long he’d waited for it.

But his own erection was wilting fast, shriveling down to nothing in the water, and after a few moments he felt Will’s rigid length soften and then slip out of his body.

Will was turning him, pulling him into his arms, holding him tightly, burying his flushed, perspiring face in Taylor’s throat.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Taylor said shakily, locking his arms around Will’s shoulders, hugging him back tightly. “No big deal.”

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“Christ, shut up,” Will said unsteadily.

“Thank God we did this. Now we don’t have to ever think about it again.”

“If you don’t want me to drown you, shut up,” Will said. He was laughing, but his laugh cracked.

* * * * *

“We’ll make camp here tonight,” Will said as though expecting an argument, but Taylor just nodded.

What was there to argue about? He was worn out, and Will’s silence since they had left Junction Hot Springs unnerved him.

He’d known it would be a mistake to give in to that sexual hunger, but he’d sort of hoped it would take Will longer than three minutes to regret it. Apparently not.

They set up the tent in silence, and Will got the campfire going while Taylor collected loose firewood.

The smell of wood smoke and coffee was sweet in the evening air and the stars were already faintly glimmering in the indigo and pink sky. He brought an armload of wood back, dumping it with relief.

“Coffee ready?”

“Not yet.” Will handed Taylor his flask. “Here. Have a slug of this.” He was watching Taylor in a way that made him self-conscious. Taylor raised his brows and Will turned away abruptly.

Great.

Taylor handed back the flask, but Will had already moved away -- the line of his back unencouraging.

Taylor put the flask in the breast pocket of his shirt.

It took effort not to say
I told you so
. Maybe that was funny coming from him because he had been the one originally pushing for this -- except he had never been pushing for sex as a goal in itself. That was the thing Will had never understood about him.

“What’d you want tonight?” Will asked a short time later, rifling through the contents of his pack.

Taylor opened his mouth, then caught Will’s expression and decided a joke would be a mistake. Will was just waiting for him to say something -- the wrong thing.

“Whatever you want. I’m not particular.” He was serious -- and he was talking about their freeze-dried menu -- but Will’s face tightened.

“Right. We need to talk,” he said grimly.

Words every man dreaded hearing -- even when they came from another man.

Taylor said desperately, “How much can there be to say about dehydrated turkey tetrazzini, Brandt?”

“That’s not what I mean.”

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Shit. There was no kidding around when Will got in this mood. He gave up fighting the inevitable, folded his arms on his knees, waiting.

“Shoot.” He couldn’t help adding, “But not literally, okay?”

That was just nerves talking, but there wasn’t a glimmer of a smile from Will. “We can’t go on like this, MacAllister.”

A little irritably -- wasn’t this what he’d been saying all along? -- he said, “Yeah, I know.”

“Okay, maybe sex wasn’t the point. Maybe you were right about that much.”

“Well, no kidding.”

“Do you really want to break up the team?”

Taylor exhaled a long breath, staring at his hands. He said finally, reluctantly, “I think it would be for the best.”

Was that really what he thought? Because saying it felt like the end of the world. And the silence that followed didn’t make it any easier.

Finally, Will said, “Is that really what you think or is this some kind of -- I don’t know. An ultimatum?”

Taylor searched inside himself. Tried to put aside his own feelings and figure out what he expected of Will. He was forced to conclude that he did not expect anything. He had always understood that Will did not want to get involved -- not with his partner -- not at the expense of their team. If they had met under other circumstances…well, probably not then, either, because Will was convinced that Taylor was incapable of a relationship that lasted longer than fifteen minutes. Will just did not believe that Taylor was his type, and who would know better? So Taylor knew what he wanted was unrealistic. It was really out of curiosity that he asked, “If it was an ultimatum, what would your answer be?”

Will groaned, put his head in his hands. “What kind of fucking question is that?” Lowering his hands, he sighed. It was a long, weary sound. “I don’t know. Maybe you
are
right. I was hoping this afternoon might settle some things…”

“Did it settle something for you?” Taylor asked, and he couldn’t help the note that crept into his voice because he thought if Will said yes he was totally bullshitting himself. It had been crazy, but it had also been fantastic between them, and Taylor was certainly experienced enough to know the feelings hadn’t been all on his side.

But Will didn’t answer that. He just said, “If you still feel like…you want out…”

He opened his mouth to deny that it was what he wanted, but that was what it amounted to. As painful as the idea of breaking the partnership was, he couldn’t go on working side by side with Will feeling the way he did. The idea of watching the David Bradleys come and go in Will’s life, or worse, watching Will settle down with someone like David Bradley -- who, in fairness, was a perfectly decent guy -- was more than he could take.

It wasn’t reasonable or logical on his part, but…

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Maybe he
was
as self-centered and egotistical as Will thought. As embarrassing as that was to admit.

And maybe fucking in a hot tub had settled everything nicely for Will, but it had just confirmed for Taylor what he already knew. He wasn’t getting over this anytime soon.

He said carefully, “This way we walk away friends. Which matters to me. A lot. The way we were going… I don’t know that we would.”

The truth of that was in Will’s eyes. After a very long moment, he nodded.

Which settled that.

They moved about the camp getting ready for the night, and every time Taylor looked at Will’s closed expression his chest ached in a way that had nothing to do with cold air in his healing lung.

“Did you really want the turkey tetrazzini?” Will asked politely when the water had boiled.

“I was just kidding,” Taylor returned, equally polite.

They ate beef stew in silence. They had cleared the air, but there didn’t seem to be much to say any more. Taylor couldn’t even work up enough enthusiasm to discuss their dead hijacker and casino heist.

The stars came out: incredibly huge and bright in the black skies. It got colder. They were both tired, and Taylor knew he wasn’t alone in not wanting to squeeze into that little tent and lie there listening to each other pretend to sleep.

“Anything else you want out of my pack?” Will asked finally. “Toothpaste? Soap? Anything else to eat?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“I guess I’ll bear bag everything.”

Taylor nodded, but Will made no move to get up and hang the food and items that might attract bears.

He poked the campfire with a stick, his grim face half in shadow, half in rosy light. He could have been a million miles away, sitting on that distant pockmarked moon rising over the serrated tips of the mountains.