Lay It Down: Bastards MC Series Boxed Set (44 page)

"Yeah." I held a hand to my chest. "Kettle, meet Pot.”

She laughed again, grinning. Becky, Matty's ex-wife, was amazing, and I prayed Jessie wasn't going to tell me that he'd cheated. As hypocritical as it would be, I didn't know how I'd feel about him if he’d done that to sweet Bex.

"The Bastards don't typically do it, but it isn't unheard of for a man to have a wife outside the club as well as an ol' lady inside the club. He had no interest. A few years later, when the ring disappeared, the girls got excited, thinking the old Mateo was back and they'd have a shot." She carried the pot to the sink and drained it.

"What none of us realized was that it was never his wife that had stolen him away. It was you." Adding pasta sauce and the meat to the pot, she mixed it all together. "You may not realize you're his ol' lady. Hell, he might not have even said the words yet. But I can promise you, there isn't a single man in this club who doesn't know. Soon, the women will too."

After opening one of the cupboards, she pulled out two pasta bowls and came back to the stove to fill them. "You're not competition, Jo. Even if I wanted Matty, which I don't, I couldn't begin to compare to you in his eyes." She grabbed forks, came around the island, and sat with me. "You're one lucky bitch. I'd kill for someone to love me that much.”

After a few bites, she continued. “You're always going to have problems, whether you're with Mateo or someone who lives in your world. And none of us know what's coming tomorrow. But he loves you. Enjoy it."

The meal was delicious. We made small talk while we ate, and I told her about my kids. I was surprised when she told me she thirty-three; she seemed so much older than I was, but she looked so much younger. She'd said she'd known Matty for eighteen years—that meant that she'd known him since she was a young teenager. I couldn't help but wonder how long she'd known Cris. They were the same age. Had they been friends?

After dinner, we sat on the couch and talked more, not touching on any serious topic. Jessie was funny and sweet, and as much as I felt like I was betraying Cris, I could totally see her and Rocker together. Talking to her was like catching up with an old friend. I was a little sad when she told me she had to go, but she offered me a hug and promised to check on me later in the week.

I called my kids, listening to them on speakerphone tell me how much fun they'd had with their grandparents. After we said good night, I cleaned up what I could, left on the lights in case Rob came home tonight, and took the stairs down to Matty's room. I hoped he would call me soon, because I needed to tell him that Jessie was right and I was ready to start over.

Chapter 11

Jo

Two days. Forty-eight hours. Well, forty-seven hours and thirty-nine minutes I’d been waiting. But the call never came. I had gotten a text message from an unknown number that said
I’m so sorry!
I assumed it was from Matty, that his phone had died sometime over the last few days and he borrowed one to send a text to me. But maybe that was wishful thinking and it was actually a
wrong number. Maybe someone out there was wondering why their loved one had never apologized. Or a groveling husband was wondering why his beloved wife never responded after he’d apologized. Maybe by not writing back, I’d broken up a nice, innocent couple.

Or maybe my imagination was running wild because I’d been alone for two days. Cris and Jessie had taken turns visiting me, trying to keep me entertained. Neither of them had heard anything either, but apparently that was nothing new. The Bastards, Jessie explained, were known to take off for days at a time at a moment’s notice. I honestly couldn’t figure out how Matty had been able to do that. Sam had been sick a lot over the years, and it always seemed like Matty or Bex caught it right after, making Matt miss another day of work. Now I wondered if any of them had actually been sick. One more question to add to the pile, and one more answer I hoped I would have one day.

I talked to Teagan every day but hadn't filled her in yet. I tried to keep things generic, wanting to wait until I had something definite to tell. Her stories were a great distraction and made me a little homesick. My Boston friends called me every night, but they both worked, so I was on my own during the day. If I didn’t have class, I’d probably have gone crazy. I missed my car. I’d taken a cab to school, walked to the grocery store, and had food delivered. If I’d had my car though, I could have gone exploring. Getting reacquainted with the city I used to love was nice; so much had changed in such a short time.

I was beyond lonely though. I shook my head at the realization. Obviously my original plan of finding an apartment by myself would never have worked. I would have gone mad in within the first week. Hell, if the boys didn’t come home soon, I might still go crazy. I pulled my casserole out of the oven before checking the time once again. Forty-seven hours and fifty-two minutes.

“Somethin’ smells delicious.”

Startled, I almost dropped the pan, then I paused, not sure if maybe I’d moved on to the next level of loneliness and was now hallucinating. I turned slowly, just in case he wasn’t real.

He looked like shit. He was wearing the same clothes he’d worn on Saturday night, except now they were filthy and covered in road grime. His beard had grown in even more. It was the most hair I’d ever seen on his face, and it gave him a sketchy mountain man look. Worst of all was the pure exhaustion that couldn’t be hidden. I wasn’t sure if he’d slept at all in the last few days, but if he had, it wasn’t for long periods of time. All that mattered to me right now though was that Matty was here. Right in front of me.

I ran across the room and jumped onto him, not caring how dirty he was. I just wanted to hold him.

He smiled, leaning down to kiss me. “Christ, it’s good to see you!” Pulling me into him, he held me tightly, arms locked behind me. I could feel the tension flowing off his body. Something was wrong, very wrong. I tried to pull away, but he was too strong. “Just let me hold you a minute, please, Joes?”

I stopped struggling, but my mind whirled in a thousand different directions. Was it Rob? One of the others? Had someone gotten hurt?

Matt sighed, but I couldn't tell if it was in annoyance or frustration. “Jesus, Joes, I can practically hear you thinking.” He grabbed my shoulders, holding me at arm’s length so he could look in my eyes, then he sighed again—sadly this time. “I can’t stay long, but I needed to see you.”

Of course he couldn’t stay long. It was early evening, but he was still three hours from home. He didn’t look up for the drive though, and I was tempted to ask him to stay with me. But after missing the last two days of work, he couldn’t miss a third. I couldn’t let him leave this tired though.

Racking my brain to think of something that might wake him up before he left, I smiled. “Do you have time for a shower with me?”

His entire face perked up, and he smirked. “I’ll make time.”

I grabbed his hand and yanked him down the stairs, determined to make the most of however long we had together.

As soon as I was through the bedroom door, I started to strip. My shirt was over my head in seconds, and I started to wiggle out of my jeans before it hit the floor. By the time I’d made it to the bathroom door, I was as naked as the day I was born, and a trail of clothes was laid out like a treasure map to lead Matty right to me. He hadn’t followed me though; instead, he was leaning back against the closed door, one foot propped up behind him, biting the knuckle on his index finger as he watched me.

Before I could ask what he was waiting for, he groaned. “I’ve had dreams like this.” He pushed himself off the door and swaggered toward me. “Where you come here, take off all your clothes, and tease me. I always wake up before I get to touch you.”

He ran fingers along my collarbone lightly, as if to make sure I was real. The fingers trailed down my chest, between my breasts, over my stomach, and onto my hip. He stood so close that I could feel his breath on my face while he looked over every inch of me, and I fought the instinct to cover myself and hide. There was a lot more meat on my body than there had been last summer. I’d let the irritation of the divorce and the stress of losing Matty get to me, and I’d packed on an extra fifteen-ish pounds. I was curvier than I’d been in a long time, and a lot more woman than I was sure he was used to.

His eyes met mine, watching me carefully for a few minutes. “You are so fuckin’ beautiful, and you don’t even know it, do you?” His voice was low, practically a whisper. He reached out his other hand and, following the same trail slowly, ended up on my other hip. “Joes?”

He bit his bottom lip as his eyes met mine again, and I knew he was asking if I was sure I wanted this. I nodded.

He picked me up, and my back hit the wall before I even realized we’d moved. His hands skimmed down my hips, onto my ass, then to the undersides of my thighs, pulling me as close to him as I could get while he was still fully clothed. I wrapped my legs around his waist, desperate for contact. His mouth moved up my neck, his tongue drawing a line and his lips blowing on it, his beard tickling me—the combination sent shivers down my spine and made my muscles clench.

I tangled my fingers in his hair, trying to pull his head back, needing to kiss his lips. He was stronger though, and he continued his tantalizing journey—lapping, blowing, and sometimes nibbling—up to my ear and back down the front of my neck. Helpless to do anything else, I rocked my center against his jeans, the denim providing just enough friction to make me moan.

He ran the tip of his nose back up my neck, onto my face, and his mouth closed over mine, claiming me. All too soon, he pulled away, releasing me and backing up. My feet weren’t ready to hold me, and I leaned against the wall, confused.

He grinned as he looked me over once more. “Fucking amazing.”

Shrugging off his jacket, he let the leather drop stiffly to the floor before he reached over his shoulders, grabbed his shirt, and yanked it over his head. I inhaled, appreciating the view. While I had packed on the pounds, Matty had apparently exercised his stress away. He’d always had a fit runner’s body—muscular in all the right places with a six-pack, and that V that drove me crazy. Now, all of him was toned and well-defined. Thick pec muscles rippled with every move he made, his abs belonged on a model, and even his stomach looked as though it would feel like solid rock. Amazed by the differences, my fingers ached to touch him and explore this new Matty.

I’d forgotten how beautiful the art on his body was. The words "Only God Can Judge Me," above a heavily shaded cross, were in the middle of his chest. Below it to the right was an odd drawing I had never asked him about. A giant anchor started right below his belly button and stretched over the middle of his stomach. A large angel, hands clasped and head hung in prayer, filled up his right side. Above it, a Claddagh covered the front of his right shoulder, surrounded by tribal knots that wove down his arm into a sleeve. A single word, Trust, ran beneath his heart.

I’d only gotten a few of the backstories, but the pictures made me want to know why he’d chosen the things he had. I skimmed each tattoo quickly as he unbuttoned his jeans and kicked them off. A moment later, I could see my favorite tattoo because he was just as naked as I was. I tore my eyes away from the words "Suck My" on his pubic bone. All my insecurities sneaked back in as I saw him in all of his glory; I didn’t know how I could ever be enough for this Greek God.

His gaze darkened as I met his eyes, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. Before I could do anything, he reached down, eyes still on mine, and wrapped a hand around his gloriously large erection. He moved his hand up and down, slowly pumping himself.

“Look at me, Jo.” Growly and deep, his voice held a command that I couldn’t disobey. "Watch me."

I glanced down, fascinated as his thumb swirled over his tip.

“You do this to me. Every fuckin’ time I think about you, I’m hard for hours. Watching you strip off your clothes, knowing that it was for me…” He went back to the slow pumping. “Drives me fucking nuts.”

I swallowed, not sure if I should reach out and touch him.

“Get on the bed, Joes.”

I didn’t hesitate, didn’t think twice. I didn’t remember climbing up, lying on my back, or Matty crawling up behind me, it all happened so fast. He lay next to me, his head propped on an elbow next to my mine. He smiled down at me, a small sexy smile that grew into a giant seductive grin as his free hand traced circles around my belly button.

Slowly his hand drifted lower, running over the curve of my stomach and onto the top of my thigh. “So fuckin’ soft.” Bending his head over mine, he nipped at my bottom lip. “Open for me.”

As I moved my legs apart, giving him access to my most secret spot, his lips pressed against mine. Fingers light as feathers tickled down the inside of my leg then up to my folds. A thumb found my clit, massaging in a slow circular motion, and I moaned into his mouth. He smiled against my lips and pushed his cock against my leg so I could feel just how hard he was.

He shifted his entire body down, face level with my chest. Keeping his thumb moving in a steady pace, he kissed a trail from one nipple, down the valley, and up to the other. Expecting him to bite me, I was surprised when he sucked the hardened point while his other hand gently fondled my other breast.