Learning to Stand (22 page)

But who was he?

Her heart pounded in unfamiliar terror.
There was no way she could fight another person.

Not today.

Sliding a foot backward, she slipped toward
the stairs. She was about to make the turn when she felt a hand on
her shoulder.

Without thought or effort, her body reacted.
Covering the man’s hand with her right hand, she spun in place
putting his wrist in a lock. Face to face with this man, Alex
gasped and he laughed. She fell into an immediate bow.

“
Sensei,” Alex
said.

“
Let’s train,” he
said.

“
I don’t know what
I...”

His hand moved toward her face.
Automatically, she lifted her blue casted left arm in a block.
Rather than hit the fiberglass, he pulled his hand away and
laughed.

“
Let’s find out what you can
do,” he said. “Mat?”

“
Sensei, I’m too sore, too
tight, too…”

“
Active recovery, Alexandra.
You need to get your blood moving for you to heal.”

“
I’ve used the second floor.
Our contractor has a black belt in Brazilian Jujitsu. We put a
couple mats up there so he could teach me a few moves.”

“
Let’s see your new moves,”
her Sensei said. Hearing steps on the stairs, the man said,
“There’s Max.”

Max stepped out and bowed to the man.
Unwilling to disappoint her teacher, Alex bowed to him. For the
next hour, Max and Alex worked through a series of choreographed
moves called 'kata.’ Almost a dance, the twins fell into well
practiced identical moves. The painful, repetitive movements warmed
Alex’s aching, tight body. She was loose and breathing hard by the
time her younger brother Colin wandered onto the second floor.

“
Time to spar,” the man
said.

As they had as children, the three siblings
sparred with each other. Sparing had always been Alex’s favorite
game. She loved using her agility and smarts to overcome better and
bigger fighters. Today, Alex merely went through the motions. Colin
and Max easily beat Alex easily until their Sensei intervened.

Slipping off his shoes, he fought Colin
first. Within two minutes, Colin was on the ground. He went after
Max. Max held his ground for ten minutes then he was down.

“
Alexandra.” The man pointed
to the mat.

“
Not today, Sensei. I
can’t.”

The man flew at Alex. Alex avoided his blows
by dipping and stepping back until she reached the brick exterior
wall. His body blocked her escape. Alex did not to meet his
eyes.

“
I wouldn’t have believed it
if I didn’t see it with my own eyes,” he said.

Alex shook her head.

“
What’s happened to
you?”

When she refused to meet his eyes, he let
her go. Max wrapped himself around her. Tapping his lip, the man
walked across the room. He spun in place to find Colin’s six foot
five inch frame blocking him from Alex.

“
You don’t have to protect
her from me,” he said. “I’m trying to help.”

“
Then leave her alone,”
Colin said.

“
Why don’t we move on to
breakfast?” Max asked.

Nodding, their teacher smiled at Max. With
Alex lagging behind, they walked toward the stairs. Their teacher
turned to see Alex jogging up the stairs to the third floor.

“
Can we talk?” he called up
the stairwell.

Not sure how to refuse her Sensei, she
nodded. Looking up the stairs, she saw John watching her from the
stairwell. John smiled but his worried eyes spoke volumes. She
watched him retreat to their bedroom. Turning, she allowed the man
to guide her toward some folding chairs.

“
Other than Sensei or
teacher, I’m not sure what to call you,” Alex said.

“
I go by Steven Pershing,”
the man said.

“
Steve?”

“
Steve works,” he smiled.
“You don’t look like you’re feeling very well.”

“
How did you get in this
morning?” Alex asked.

“
A couple of my men are
here,” Steve said. “They let me in this morning when they changed
guard.”

“
Ramirez and Blanco work for
you,” Alex said.

“
Yes,” Steve said

“
You had them assigned to
Bosnia?” Alex asked.

“
After you and Jesse ran
into trouble? Yes,” the man said. “Trece and his White Boy tested
into my area of expertise during basic training. They’ve worked for
me ever since.”

“
And what is your area of
expertise?”

He smiled his ‘slow down’ smile for his
impatient student.

“
I’m very confused,
Alexandra. I don’t understand what’s happened to you.”

“
You mean besides the Boy
Scout and losing my child and my complete failure as a leader
and...”

“
Do you remember how we
met?” he interrupted.

“
I feel like I’ve always
known you.”

“
Can you tolerate an old
man’s story? It might explain why I feel so bewildered.”

Alex nodded.

“
And you’ll listen? To the
whole thing?”

Smiling at how well he knew her, she
nodded.

F

CHAPTER NINETEEN

“
I’d arrived from a covert
war in the desert for two months leave. I was leaning against the
hood of my car smoking a cigarette.” He snorted a laugh. “I was
trying to decide if I should try to get laid or sleep for a few
days.”

“
I’ve been
there.”

“
Yes, I was a Green Beret,”
he smiled. “I was standing there, enjoying being in the US, when
this little girl comes walking down the street. I mean, I’ve been
immersed in sand and death for almost a year. The child looked like
a mirage to me. She’s wearing a pink dress with little white
flowers all over it, white tights, a white sweater and white Mary
Jane’s. She had these impossible pig tails in her brown hair. The
pig tails bounced up and down as she walked. She held a battered
Teddy bear.”

“
I hated those
tights.”

“
I couldn’t quite fathom
what was going on when the little girl came right up to me. She
said, ‘Suh, do you know where I might find the
hospital?’”

The man mimicked the Southern accent Alex
had as a small child.

“
I said something like, ‘Uh,
shouldn’t you be at home?’ She said, ‘Suh, my brother is in the
hospital and he needs me. We’re Green Berets in training. Do you
know what a Green Beret is?’ I almost choked. ‘I have some idea,’ I
replied. She said, ‘A Green Beret never leaves a fellow soldier
when he needs her.’”

“
Well they don’t.” Alex
blushed.

“
You don’t,” he
said.

“
Well, I’ve left them now.
Haven’t I?”

“
Have you?”

Alex shrugged.

“
You promised to listen,”
Steve said.

Alex bowed her head and indicated with her
hands that he should go on.

“
I said, ‘I’m a Green
Beret.’ You said, ‘Will you help me? I’ve been walking a long time
and I can’t find the hospital.’ I agreed to take you but on the
condition that we call your parents. You said, ‘I would never lie
to a fellow Green Beret. Mommy has a new baby AND my little brother
AND my bossy older sister. She doesn’t have time to deal with me or
my twin. I assure you, suh, that’s what she said. My brother needs
me.’ You were so clear and self assured. I opened the door and
drove you to the hospital.

“
Once we got to the door of
the hospital, you took off running. I chased you through the
hospital until we got to a room. Through the window in the door, I
saw a single hospital bed. The white sheet seemed to vibrate.”
Steve made a flutter movement with his hand. “You were trying to
get in the room but you couldn’t work the door knob. I flipped the
knob and you sprinted into the room.

“
The moment the door opened,
I could hear a child sobbing. Of course, you never hesitated,
looked back, or said another word to me. You plopped your shoes off
the side of the bed and got under the sheet. When I got closer to
the bed, I saw an identical face, a little boy. He put his arm
around you, and you nestled into him. You both had an arm around
the Teddy Bear.”

“
Max had heart surgery. They
made him stay at the hospital by himself. Poor Maxie.”

“
I had no idea what to do. I
left the room to get a nurse, but they were busy attending to
another child. Standing in the hall, scratching my head, I saw your
Dad strolling toward me. I’d never met him but I knew who he was. I
figured it was court martial city for me. He stood next to me at
the window in the door. He said, ‘She’s in there, right?’ Trying
for cool, I said, ‘Who?’ He laughed then went in the
room.”

“
What did you
do?”

“
I followed him in. He was a General. Not just a
General.
The
General Patrick Hargreaves. By this
time, you had pulled the sheet over both of your heads. Your Dad
walked up to the bed and flipped the sheet down. I’ll tell you
Alex, I’ve never seen any parent love their children more than your
Dad did at that moment. When the two of you turned to look at him?
He burst out laughing. Looking at me, he said, ‘You’ve met my
twins?’”

Steve laughed at the memory.

“
You started talking the
moment the sheet moved. The bed was bigger than the one at home.
You wouldn’t put your finger in Max’s heart ever again. You didn’t
get in the bed with your shoes on this time. Yes, Mommy’s mad but
as a Green Beret you had to make the hard choice. Maxie really,
really, really needed you here. You went on and on. You were there
talking away and the great General Patrick Hargreaves? He laughed
his ass off at you.”

Alex smiled. She didn’t remember any of
this. She knew they’d arranged for her to stay with Max after he
had heart surgery. She never knew how that happened.

“
After your Dad arranged the
details with the nurses, and you solemnly swore not to cause any
trouble, he invited me for coffee. I think he was putting off
having to tell your Mom. We drank coffee and talked about nothing –
the Army, life. I drove home and slept for three days. Then, about
an hour before I was to leave for awful Iran, your Dad called. He
was starting a new project and wondered if I wanted to be involved.
That’s how I began training you, Max and Colin. I run his project
now.”

“
Trece said you work
security for rich people.”

“
Yes. Movie stars, rich
people, heads of corporations, and other interesting
people.”

“
Black Ops.”

“
We make money for the Army
and we take care of problems.” He nodded.

“
Joiner,” Alex
said.

He nodded.

“
That’s why Trece knows so
much about Joiner.”

“
Yes, but I didn’t tell you
that story to talk about Cee Cee Joiner,” Steve said. “For as long
as I’ve know you, Alex, you’ve had a self assured sense of who you
are and what you wanted. You married John Drayson after knowing him
only thirteen hours.”

“
Trece said the same thing,”
Alex said. “That was different.”

“
I think I was the only
person who wasn’t surprised.”

“
Why?”

“
Because he was Max’s
roommate. Max liked and trusted John. Of course you would like him.
That’s what I told Ben when he was whining about it. We didn’t tell
your father because we felt smug. For once we knew something he
didn’t.”

“
Maybe I finally grew up,”
Alex said. “I mean who the fuck do I think I am? The only female
Green Beret. Whoop de fucking do.”

Steve raised his eyebrows at her comment.
With Alex lost in thought, and her Sensei pondering how to reach
her, they sat in silence.

“
You love being a Green
Beret.” His simple statement shattered the silence.

“
At what cost?” Alex asked.
“I killed my team. I’ll never have a child. No matter what my so
called ‘friends’ say, they don’t respect me. And before you tell me
about all the lives I saved, I couldn’t save my own child’s life.
What’s it matter?”

“
Some things are not meant
to be.”

“
You should have a
conversation with my mother! All of her predictions have come true
– I’ll never have a child, my husband will leave me and I will die
alone.”

“
You’re
depressed.”

“
I’m angry,” Alex
said.

“
With?”

“
Myself,” Alex said. “I
always thought I was special. You know, I’m a male/female single
zygote twin, General Hargreaves’ beloved daughter, Ben’s protégé
and all that crap. I’m not special. I’m just me. And just me
doesn’t cut it anymore. Maybe before I got everyone killed but not
now.”

“
Why do you lie to
yourself?”

“
How am I lying?”

A master martial arts teacher, Steve’s
raised his eyebrows were his challenge. Alex didn’t respond.

“
Yesterday, I had a lovely
visit with Cecil Joiner Sr. at his beachside home in Cancun,” Steve
said. “I still don’t believe the man has Alzheimer’s but he’s a
great actor. I hopped a shuttle to Nicaragua, I had dinner with
Charlene O’Brien.”