Let It Shine (9 page)

His tongue eased a gentle entry, completely at odds with the coiled strength she felt in him, and she allowed it. When she opened for him, the gentleness faded. His tongue searched out hers with long, rough strokes. She knew his lips were soft, but they felt anything as they pressed against hers. One of his hands left the rope to cup her face as he kissed her into submission.

“Sofie.” Her name was a plea. “I know we’ve just reconnected after all this time, and there’s so much to do in the world. But I feel like…I really feel like we have something here.”

“That’s easy to say when your hand is in my shirt,” she said with a breathless laugh. She glanced down to where his fingers had slid through the sleeve holes of her silky shell, stroking the sides of her breasts through her bra.

“That it is. Should I remove it?” he asked, stroking the back of his index finger over her taut nipple. Sofie arched her back, pushing into his touch. Her cheeks were aflame at the seediness of it all, but that didn’t stop the pulsing between her legs or the way her drawers were soaked through. “That’s not an answer,” he said, and she felt the quick slide of his hand away from her.

“No,” she gasped. “Don’t.” She knew there was nothing ladylike at all about the pure, blatant need that made her ache for his touch, but none of that mattered now.

He made a sound of approval.

“I need you to do something for me,” he said. Sofie nodded, although she didn’t think she would be capable of much. His big hands were cupping her breasts, his thumbs brushing over the tender peaks in a way that made her lose all consideration for what she should or shouldn’t be doing. Each caress was tightening something in her, some degenerate part of her that craved Ivan in the middle of a boxing ring instead of a fine, upstanding citizen who wouldn’t want to touch her until marriage.

“What is it?” she asked.

“Tell me that I’m moving too fast. Tell me that you don’t feel something crazy between us.” His voice was rough as he spoke.

“If I say that, will you stop touching me?” she asked. Her hands went to his waist, and her thumbs hooked into the belt loops on his jeans. She felt him tense, and his eyes closed for the briefest moment.

“This isn’t an ultimatum, Sof. If you want me to make you come right here on the mat and then part ways forever, I’ll do that.” He gave a deep laugh at whatever expression flitted across her face. She wasn’t completely untouched, but she was fairly certain no man had ever made her come, go, or anything in between before. He ran a hand over the buttons of her blouse and began sliding them out, one by one. “But I think there’s more to us than wham bam thank you ma’am.”

He lowered his forehead to hers. His hands slipped into her open shirt, his rough palms encircling her the bare skin of her waist. “I’ve never stopped thinking of you, Sofronia. I always kept an eye out for you, hoping one day we’d see each other. Then I’d either know I was wrong and move on, or this would happen.”

Sofie ran her hands up his chest, over the corded muscles at his neck, and threaded her fingers at his nape. “What do you mean by
this
?”

“That I’d see you and want to be with you more than ever.” His eyes were closed, like he was confessing something painful. She ran her fingertips over his long lashes, and then over the bumps at the bridge of his nose.

“Ivan…what we’re doing right now? It feels right. That’s what my instinct is telling me. Maybe the crazy is catching, but I want to be with you too.” His eyes fluttered open and she was flummoxed by the naked need she saw in his gaze. No one had ever looked at her like that before. She swallowed and then said the first thing that came into her mind. “I want you to touch me the way you look at me, like me being nice is the last thing you’re thinking of.”

His head tilted quick as a flash and then his mouth was on hers. He kissed her without mercy, as if her request had allowed him to unleash the true level of his desire for her. He wasn’t rough, despite his vocation, but he kissed her as if it was the last thing he would do in this world and he wanted to make sure it was done well. It was all Sofie could do to remain standing; not because her knees were weak, but because if she pulled him to the ground like she wanted to, her church clothes would be ruined and there’d be even more gossip swirling around. Ivan backed her up against a corner post and gently untucked her shirt. His hands groped at her hips and her backside, and then he threw his head back in frustration.

“Where’s the zipper?” he asked.

Sofie froze. What was she doing there with him? Was she ready for whatever he had in mind? And then he smiled at her, that sheepish, chip-toothed smile, and she reached for the hidden zipper at the side of the skirt without hesitation. “I might be too good of a seamstress,” she said as she worked it down.

“I’ve noticed,” Ivan said. “Even your most demure outfit has the opposite effect on me.” Then he slid his hand into the loosened waist of her skirt and rubbed her through her panties, and all thoughts of sewing techniques went out of Sofie’s head. One of his hands went behind her waist to lift and support her, while his mouth forged a trail from the sensitive skin of her neck down to her thin bra. He licked through the lacy fabric she had worn with him in mind, as if some delinquent part of her had hoped he’d see it. Well, he was seeing it now, and tasting it too. He lapped at her sensitive tips, swirling his tongue around and grabbing her nipple between his teeth, even as his fingers groped their way into her drawers and massaged her sensitive nub.

“Oh,” she breathed quietly. She felt more than that little sound, but her training was kicking in, even when she should be wild and free. She even had to sin like a lady.

Ivan glanced up at her and shook his head with a glint in his eye that didn’t bode well for her.

“None of that dormouse stuff, Sofronia.” His voice was rough and his hand picked up the pace to match. Callused fingertips pressed harder against that slit of pleasure, and a remarkable feeling flowed through Sofie, like all of the pain and sadness and happiness that she had bottled up over the years was suddenly pushing to get out all at once.

“Ivan!” Her voice was louder than she’d spoken in years, and when he sucked at her neck and curled a finger inside of her, she broke and let out a cry that even the lead in the choir couldn’t have matched. Pleasure pulsed and pulsed through her body, divine and unrepentant. Her voice echoed around the gym as she sagged back against the post and simply let herself feel for once.

“Good to know those pipes are still working.” He kissed the hollow of her neck as he rebuttoned her blouse, and a different kind of thrill went through her, one she had never experienced. Not during that fumbling childhood kiss with David or on the double dates she went on with Henrietta. She felt like part of a duo, two people who could change things…together.

They’d just climbed down from the ring when the front door swung open and an older black man with the body of someone half his age walked in.

His eyes widened at the sight of Sofie, and the powerful togetherness she felt started to fade as every horrible thing the man could be thinking ran through her mind. Then he smiled. “Is this the lady who’s had you distracted during your sparring matches all week?”

Sofie looked at Ivan and was shocked to see he was blushing. Blushing, after all, that talk in the ring. “Jack, Sofie. Sofie, Jack,” he said.

“Nice to meet you, young lady. And I know that pretty face is familiar for a reason.”

He handed her the morning paper. There she was, sitting primly at the Special K counter, surrounded by a mob of angry men. It seemed that her years of training had one benefit: she looked like a perfect lady, her rigidness making the men around her look even more like barbarians. David and Henrietta appeared to be studying in the midst of the melee, but Ivan was regarding her with an adoring grin. She’d seen men look at women like that before, but that Ivan was regarding her in such a way for everyone to see…

“Oh dear Lord,” she said. She could already hear her father going on about how she’d humiliated him, how his job was in jeopardy, and the other things he’d listed as he’d guilted her the night before. But something else caught her eye. NASH LEADS NASHVILLE RIDERS, a headline beside the picture screamed. Sofie clutched the paper, reading excitedly.

“The rides aren’t over,” she said, looking at Ivan. “Students are leaving from Nashville and encouraging others to ride to Mississippi. They believe that if the rides stop because of the incidents in Anniston and Birmingham, the blow to the movement will be hard to recover from.” Sofie again felt the sense of unity that was a newfound thing for her—she wasn’t the only one who felt that way. These young people in Nashville and others around the country were going to get on buses and head to Mississippi, and she was going to join them. She felt that sense of purpose flow through her again.

“Now, a lunch counter is one thing, but getting on that bus is another,” Jack said. He looked at Ivan as if he had some say in the matter, but Ivan raised his hands.

“If she wants to go, we’ll go. It’ll probably take a few days to get everything together and scrape together money for tickets. Besides, you have your finals and I have my match. We can leave Saturday morning.”

Sofie had never felt such a quick rise and drop in spirits. “A whole week? Do you know what can happen in a week? We have to go now while the world is still watching. A week from now the Soviets might launch a nuke and no one will care about whether some kids are causing a scene in the Deep South.”

“If you miss your exams, won’t you flunk out for the semester?” Ivan asked. “Think about what you’re saying.”

Sofie felt her instinct to buckle to authority kick in. Ivan was right. She stood to lose so much if she skipped out, and not just her—her father’s savings and his hope for the first generation to go to school would also be lost. But she couldn’t sit in a classroom while her fellow students were making sacrifices of their own.

“There will be other semesters, Ivan. There may not be other Freedom Rides. I’m going to go, whether you decide to or not.”

“You can’t go by yourself,” he said. He snatched the paper from her, eyes scanning the cramped newsprint. “These students have signed their last wills and testaments. They’re ready to die. Are you?”

When their eyes met in challenge, Sofie felt something in her heart give way like a crumbling ledge. He didn’t believe in her. She still felt his touch on her body. He’d made her feel wonderful but more wonderful still had been the thought that finally someone had thought her capable of more than being a goody two shoes. She’d been mistaken on that account.

“If that’s what it takes,” she said, squaring her shoulders. “I don’t see how you being there will change anything. If you want to stay, stay, but don’t you dare presume to know what I’m willing to give up for the movement.”

“Oh no, girl,” Jack said, moving to stand between them. “Don’t you try to lay a guilt trip on the boy because he has priorities. He’s been working toward this fight for years. Almost half his life!” The man looked so disappointed in her, as if she was trying to steal Ivan’s glory, that she couldn’t help but think of her father.

“This isn’t an ultimatum,” she said weakly. Jack leaned in to hear her because her voice had barely carried to him. Had that loud, resounding cry earlier really come from her?

“I should get you to church,” Ivan said. He took her arm, but his touch was like that of a stranger. She should have been angry, but the fire in her chest went cold. Disappointment replaced it, spreading through her body so that she felt sluggish as she walked out after him. She’d allowed herself to think that Ivan was different, but he was just one more person to let down, and Sofie didn’t think she needed that in her life. She was full up on people who would gladly judge her.

The ride to her church was silent. As loss crept up on her, she tried to remind herself that a week ago she hadn’t been thinking of Ivan at all. If after today she never saw him again, the last seven days would have been an aberration and he would recede to the vaults of her memory once again. She didn’t believe that for a second, but if it got her through the rest of the day, she’d try to.

“I wish I could leave sooner than Saturday,” he said as he dropped her off three blocks from her church, as she’d requested. “But I’ve worked so hard for this. There are going to be promoters there, and this could be my chance at the big time, and a chance to help Jack get his name on the map. I’d be letting everyone at the gym down if I didn’t fight.”

Sofie tried to muster a smile, but couldn’t quite pull it off. “I understand. You’re going after what you believe in. I didn’t believe in anything for a long time but keeping my head down and not being noticed. But now I feel like I can do something, be part of something.” She took a deep breath. “I won’t wait for you.”

“Why? I don’t get the rush.” His eyes widened as if she had just dumped ice over him.

“Because even a docile girl like me has to stand up for herself sometime, and that time is right now.” She leaned in and kissed him then, despite her disappointment. If things were to go awry and the worst should occur, she didn’t want to regret not having one last touch of his soft lips. Even if things didn’t go wrong, she couldn’t expect some pledge of faithfulness after just a few days. She was sure some woman or other would be hanging around the ring to either celebrate or console him on Friday night. “Goodbye, Ivan.”

“I’ll call you later!” he called after her as she walked down the street. She hated the desperation in his voice, but she didn’t look back. She was already listing the next steps of her plan.

Chapter 11

Sofie had flinched when she walked through the doors of the church, but she hadn’t combusted, despite her interlude with Ivan. If the Lord didn’t see fit to punish her, she could withstand whatever anyone else had to say.

“I saw you in the paper this morning,” Mrs. Pierce said when Sofie greeted her in passing. She regarded Sofie shrewdly, but then the church pianist grabbed her to discuss the same thing, and Sofie breathed a sigh of relief. The last thing she needed was the woman harping on her yet again.