Let the Church Say Amen (21 page)

“S
O HOW DO
y’all do it?”

“What?”

“How do y’all do it?” Rachel was stretched out across the sofa at her brother’s new apartment. “I mean do you do it like normal people?” She had been trying to get up the nerve to talk to Jonathan about this. She’d never been one to mince words, but this was one topic she felt funny raising with her brother.

“Rachel, don’t be silly.” Jonathan was leaning over the stove, stirring a big pot of gumbo he had spent all day cooking. He’d learned how to make it from his mother.

Jonathan loved cooking. Rachel and David’s only interest in food was eating it, so, growing up, he became his mother’s apprentice. Loretta would mix, broil, bake, and he’d be right there soaking up all her tricks of the trade. It became their bonding ritual together; he loved the holidays because he and his mother would spend all day in the kitchen.

Jonathan’s eyes got glossy at the thought of his mother.

Then he smiled when he imagined his father saying his spending all that time in the kitchen was probably why he was gay.

“Are you listening to me?” Rachel had walked into the kitchen and now stood behind Jonathan with her arms folded.

“Actually, I’m not.” Jonathan reached in the cabinet and grabbed some oregano. He sprinkled a little in the pot, then stirred the gumbo.

“For real. I wanna know. Do you really have sex with him? How can two grown men get turned on sweating and bumping booties and stuff?” Rachel turned up her nose at the thought.

“Rachel, you’re being ridiculous,” Jonathan responded.

“Just answer the question. I thought you said you were going to be open about who you are.”

“I am. That doesn’t mean I’m going to share intimate details about my sex life with my little sister.” Jonathan lifted the ladle out of the pot, blew on it, and sipped the gumbo. “Perfect.”

“So you
do
do it with him? Ewww. Do y’all kiss and stuff? Like with your tongues? And are you the woman or is Tracy?”

“Enough, Rachel!” Jonathan snapped. He placed the lid back on the gumbo, dropped the ladle in the sink, then turned back toward his sister. “Those stupid stereotypes are why people don’t come out of the closet. We kiss just like you kiss. Now leave it alone!” He walked out of the kitchen.

Rachel followed close behind. “I was just asking!”

Jonathan ignored her, checking the apartment for the twentieth time that day, making sure it was immaculate. Tracy had left his furniture in storage in Atlanta until they found a house, so the furnishings in the one-bedroom were sparse; only a sofa, loveseat, and coffee table. A nineteen-inch television sat on a TV stand, a radio/CD player on the floor next to it. A dining table that Jonathan had bought at a garage sale was centered in the small dining room just off the kitchen. Jonathan had hung one African print, but other than that, the walls were bare. Still, the place was sparkling clean and he had never felt more at home.

“What time did David say he’d be here?” Jonathan asked.

“I don’t know. Do I look like my brother’s keeper?” Rachel asked as she plopped down on the sofa. She picked up the remote and flipped the TV on. “Cable! Yes. That’s what I’m talking about.” She started flipping through the channels until she found BET. They were playing a Ludacris video. “That’s my next baby’s daddy,” Rachel said, pointing to the television.

“That’s ludicrous,” Jonathan responded.

“Duh … I know who that is. Everyone knows who that is.”

“No, I mean that idea is ludicrous, as in absolutely crazy. And your next baby’s daddy needs to be your husband.”

“Oh, he’s gonna be my husband, too. At least my first husband.” Rachel bounced to the rap music.

Jonathan shook his head. “I can’t believe you even watch that garbage.” He glanced at the clock on the dining room wall. It was six-thirty. He had told David to be there by six. “So David hasn’t called?” Jonathan asked.

“Did you hear any phone ring?” Rachel responded.

“Tracy should be home any minute now. I told David to be here on time. It’s our first dinner together and I don’t want anything to go wrong.” Jonathan cut his eyes at his sister. “And that means no stupid, smart-aleck comments from you.”

Rachel looked up. “What? You know me.”

“Exactly. So could you for once be on your best behavior?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Rachel turned her attention back to the TV.

There was banging on the front door.

“What’s up, bro?” David said, after Jonathan opened the door.

“Nothing much. It’s about time you got here. Come on in.”

David walked inside and threw his car keys on the end table. “Better late than never. Where’s your boyfriend?”

“Don’t you start.” Jonathan shut the door.

David laughed. “Man, I’m just messing with you. Do yo’ thang. I ain’t got no problem with you or your man. Hell, I got enough issues of my own. Tawny slashed my tires. That’s why I’m late. I never have understood why women do stupid stuff like that.”

Rachel heard his remark, but kept her attention focused on the television.

Jonathan sighed as he said to his brother, “The last thing I need is you and Rachel giving me a hard time all evening.”

“You know,” David continued, “I do think it’s so funny that I’m the one that Dad was so disappointed in, then here you come with this bombshell. Boy, the irony of that!”

Jonathan glared at his brother. It had been five weeks and he hadn’t talked to his father. He’d heard that the church had voted to keep him, so he was probably floating on cloud nine, not giving any of them a second thought. Jonathan tried his best not to think about his father.

Anyway, these last few weeks had been wonderful; he loved having Tracy here with him. It was how he made it through his mother’s death and the ordeal with his father. Tracy was right. It made a world of difference having his support. Open support. Oh, they’d garnered strange looks and whispers and, at first, Jonathan was very uneasy, but Tracy stood with his head held high, giving Jonathan a shoulder to lean on. Jonathan realized having Tracy’s support was how it should be. He kicked himself at the thought of almost letting Tracy slip away, just because he was worried about what people would think.

The part that pained him most was Angela. She didn’t deserve what he had done to her. He tried to call her several times to apologize, but she refused to talk to him. Her father brought over the annulment papers, telling Jonathan he should rip his heart out with his bare hands. Jonathan had only mumbled an apology, signed the papers, and let Mr. Brooks go on his way. Their anger was understandable. But at the time, Jonathan really thought he could make it work with Angela.

They had yet to make any decisions about the baby. He hated that he wouldn’t be there for his child’s birth, but with Angela refusing to talk to him, he couldn’t discuss anything about the baby. He decided to give her time. He was hopeful that eventually she would allow him to have a relationship with their child. Gay or not, Jonathan felt he could make a positive impact on his child’s life.

Kevin had almost as hard a time dealing with the news as his father. He looked genuinely hurt, saying he felt like he’d been lied to all these years. While he eventually said it wouldn’t change anything, Jonathan could tell their friendship would never be the same.

“So, can we eat?” David said. “I’m hungry.”

“Not until Tracy gets here. He’s on his way.”

David grunted, then sat down next to Rachel. “You ain’t goin’ speak?”

“Hello, David.”

“What, no hug? You can’t hug your brother?”

Rachel looked at David like he had lost his mind.

“Maybe that’s what’s wrong with our family. We don’t show each other enough love!” David pounced on his sister.

“Get off of me! You stink!” Rachel wiggled from under her brother and hit him in the shoulder.

Jonathan laughed. That’s the David he remembered. The playful, sober David.

“So, David, are you still clean?”

David leaned back, grinning widely. “Yeah, man, can you believe it? It was one of the last conversations me and Mama had. That’s what she called me over for the day she had the heart attack. She asked me to let the drugs go. At the time I thought she was crazy and I promised her just to make her happy, but when she died, it caused me to reevaluate my life. You know I told Daddy I was hospitalized after almost overdosing. Well, I tried to take a hit the night I left the hospital. I felt like Mama was haunting me or something. It was just weird. So, for once I wanted to keep my word to her. I went cold turkey and haven’t touched drugs since. I had to get out from under Tawny, though. She ain’t about to give the stuff up and being around all that ain’t good for me. She swears I left her for another woman. That’s why she cut my tires. Right now, I’m staying at a halfway house until I get myself together.”

“Wow, I’m impressed,” Jonathan said.

“Don’t be,” Rachel muttered. “Just see how long it lasts. You know, once a dope fiend, always a dope fiend.”

David threw a pillow at his sister. “Shut up. You don’t have to have any faith in me. I got faith in myself.”

“Whatever you say,” Rachel responded.

“You seem to forget that once upon a time, I did have it together. Back before the drugs. That’s what I’m shooting for again.”

Jonathan knew David was right about once having it together. He was a C student in high school, but only because he was too mischievous to take his studies seriously. When he put his mind to something, he accomplished it with no problem. Since he was determined to go to a big-name school, he studied for the SAT and scored a 1200. He figured being smart, as well as an all-star football player, would guarantee his admission. And it did. He got a scholarship to the University of Nebraska. He probably would’ve graduated if he hadn’t gotten hurt and dropped out.

“I’m happy for you, David,” Jonathan said. “And I know Mama would be, too.”

David smiled broadly. “Might as well make somebody proud.”

“Hmmph,” Rachel muttered, as she flipped the channel to MTV.

“What about you, Miss Two Babies and no baby daddy?” David said.

“What about me?”

“What are you gonna do? Are you going to let Bobby and his wife have Jordan?”

“You must still be smoking that crack.” Rachel frowned. “But the judge says I gotta let them see him. That’s where Jordan is now. Nia’s in the back asleep.”

“Rachel’s all right with that, though,” Jonathan said, “because she’s been spending her time with her new beau.”

“What new beau?” David asked.

“Lester Willis.”

“Pimply faced Lester Willis?” David laughed.

“He’s been seeing a dermatologist, for your information,” Rachel responded. “It’s a skin condition.”

“Oh, now he’s Michael Jackson. And she’s taking up for him,” David said, pointing to Rachel.

“For your information, Lester is a good man. And we’re just friends.”

“That’s who you need to marry,” Jonathan said.

“What part of friends are you not getting?” Rachel snapped.

Jonathan smirked. They were just friends now, but he knew that would change. Lester was persistent and obviously loved Rachel. Jonathan could see it in Lester’s eyes at the custody hearing. Anybody could see it. Jonathan was confident that sooner or later, Rachel would give in.

“Lester and Rachel sitting in a tree,” David sang.

Rachel rolled her eyes. “Oh, grow up.”

“K-I-S-S-I-N-G.”

“How old are you again?”

“First comes love, then comes marriage.”

“Would you tell him to stop?” Rachel yelled to Jonathan, who was laughing.

None of them heard the front door open. “Some things never change.”

“Dad?” Jonathan said. Simon was standing in the door with Tracy behind him. “What are you doing here?”

Tracy stepped forward. “I asked him to come.”

The laughter and kidding had stopped. Rachel turned her focus back to the television. No one said anything.

Tracy finally spoke up. “I thought it would be good for him to come. You guys have some family issues and you really need to work this out.”

“He’s right, you know,” Simon said. Jonathan looked on in amazement. Was his father agreeing with Tracy?

“What do you need us for?” Rachel snapped, without taking her eyes off the TV. “You won even without us showing up. You got to keep your pastorship. So why do you need us?”

“I’m your father.”

“For real?” Rachel acted surprised.

“Okay,” Tracy stepped in, clapping his hands together. “I’m going to play interventionist. In order to make any progress, we have to get past the bitterness.”

Rachel looked at Tracy like he was crazy. “Didn’t we just meet you? So why do you think you have the right to psychoanalyze our family?”

Jonathan jumped in to protect Tracy from the family drama. “Tracy is just trying to help.”

“Well, didn’t nobody ask for his help.” Rachel rolled her eyes and turned back to the TV.