Let the Church Say Amen (9 page)

S
IMON SAT IN THE LIVING ROOM
laughing at his favorite TV show,
Sanford and Son
. No matter how many times he saw each episode, it still made him crack up. Maybe because Fred Sanford reminded him of his own Uncle Cleo, the black sheep of their minister-laden family.

This was about the only thing he ever watched on television, with the exception of his church programs and the news. It was the only luxury he had time for. However, tonight he needed to be going over the church budget, but he felt utterly exhausted. He had spent all day at the hospital with a church member whose son was in a coma from a drug overdose. The boy wasn’t but eighteen years old. It was a shame. Simon saw David there or dead in just a few months. He felt a twinge of pain as he imagined his eldest son dying from drugs. Although David had always been a little mischievous, he had had a promising future. Simon reflected on what he could’ve done differently to alter David’s path. He seldom went to any of David’s games because they usually fell on Friday nights and he had Bible study on those nights, but he’d always made sure David knew he was proud of his achievements. Maybe he’d been too hard when David was injured. He’d tried to push David to go to rehabilitation daily so that he could heal. But it was only because he knew how bad David wanted to play football. David had taken Simon’s efforts the wrong way, even going so far as asking, “Will you not love me if I’m not this great football hero?” It was absurd to Simon, but apparently David felt that way. Simon wondered if maybe he’d not done enough to convince David he would love him regardless.

He shook off his doubts. There was no sense in wondering about maybes now. David had chosen to seek solace in drugs. And if it was God’s will to take David, so be it. Simon had washed his hands of his oldest son. He had disgraced his family for the last time.

“Sweetheart, are you coming to bed?” Loretta poked her head into the living room. She had on a long, white cotton nightgown with yellow flowers all over it. Her hair was in pink curlers, which poked from underneath her satin cap. Still, Simon smiled at the sight of his wife. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

“I’m going to finish watching this episode. It’s where Fred meets Lena Horne and nobody believes him.”

“You’ve only seen that a thousand times,” Loretta said, laughing.

“I know, but you know I love me some
Sanford and Son
.”

“I know you do. Well, I’m going to bed. Good night.”

Simon stopped her before she turned to walk away. “You know what else I love?”

“God, of course,” Loretta answered without hesitation.

“Of course. And you.” He flashed that seductive smile he knew had won her heart so many years ago. They had met at a gospel concert on campus. Simon was actually trying to make eye contact with her friend, but his eyes met Loretta’s and they just sort of clicked.

Loretta walked over and kissed Simon on the head. “I love you, too.”

Simon pulled her onto his lap. They seldom did anything together anymore and their sex life was all but nonexistent. It wasn’t that he didn’t desire her. He was just too busy. But once upon a time, he and Loretta were like rabbits in a cage. Maybe now was the moment to revisit the cage. “You sho’ are looking mighty sexy in them there pink curlers,” Simon joked. “You goin’ make me turn off
Sanford and Son
.”

Loretta giggled and kicked her legs like a giddy schoolgirl. “Simon, what are you doing? Behave yourself. Jonathan may walk in.”

“Nah, he left with Kevin to go somewhere. Said he wouldn’t be back until later.” Simon started nibbling at his wife’s neck. “Ummm, you taste so good!”

“Simon!”

“What? You’re my wife, aren’t you?”

“Well, yes … but, it’s been so long.”

“That’s why Mr. Wiggle Man wants to come out and play,” Simon joked. He couldn’t believe himself. It had been years since he acted like this, but somehow his weariness was gone and he actually felt himself burning with desire for his wife. He didn’t have to worry about them going too long. They were both past the point of all-nighters. “So, whatcha wearing underneath that sexy, cotton muumuu you have on there?”

Loretta jumped up, still giggling. “Stop, Simon.”

Simon stood up after her. “Your lips say no, but your body says yes. Come here, woman!” Simon laughed and playfully lunged toward his wife, who let out a small yelp when she toppled over on the sofa. In a second, Simon was on top of her. “Don’t fight it, baby,” he quipped. Loretta was cracking up. Simon could tell she was enjoying every minute of it. He began nibbling on her neck again when he heard a loud pounding on the front door. The noise was so intense, both of them stopped and turned their attention to the door.

“What in the world?” Simon said. He eased up off his wife and made his way to the door. The pounding was louder, almost frantic. “Who is it?” Simon yelled.

“Dad, open the door! Open the door!” It was David and he was screaming at the top of his lungs.

Simon stood glaring at the door. Loretta sat up on the sofa, a look of fear across her face. “Oh, my God,” she whispered.

“What do you want?” Simon yelled through the door.

“Daddy, not now, please!” David screamed. “Just open the door before they kill me!”

Simon felt his anger building. David was caught up in some madness, no doubt because of drugs. And here Simon was thinking after that day at the church, maybe David would actually clean himself up. “Get away from my door! I told you you’re not welcome here!”

“Daddy, please. They’re going to kill me!” David sounded like he was crying, and out of breath.

“Simon, let him in.” Loretta was clutching the top of her gown, her eyes transfixed on the door.

“I’m not letting him bring his drug-infested behavior in our home!” Simon spat toward his wife. They both jumped as they heard a loud thud against the front door. It was followed by several men yelling and David screaming and crying even louder.

“Simon, do something NOW!”

Simon briefly stared at his wife. “Oh, for Christ’s sake!” He raced to the hall closet where he pulled out a locked rifle case he kept on the top shelf, pushed all the way to the back. He quickly punched in the combination and removed a loaded 12gauge shotgun before throwing the front door open.

“Get away from my house!” Simon yelled with the shotgun aimed directly at the head of one of the three people attacking his son. All three stopped beating David, who was lying on the front porch, bleeding.

“Yo, Pops, we ain’t got no beef with you. Go on back inside,” said a tall man in a black leather jacket.

“As long as you’re on my property, you got a beef with me. Now go!”

“Like I said, this between us and David,” the man repeated.

Simon didn’t move the gun from the man’s head. “Loretta, call the cops, right now!”

The man nearest David’s head motioned like he was going toward his jacket. Simon quickly aimed the gun his way. “Ah, ah, ah. I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Just because I’m a man of God doesn’t mean I won’t blow you to kingdom come.”

“Come on, man, let’s get out of here before the cops come,” a short, muscular boy, who looked like he couldn’t be any more than seventeen, said.

“Yeah, we’ll catch this fool slipping,” the second guy replied.

The tall man who had been doing all the talking held his hands up. “Aw’ight, Pops, you win. This time. But tell that crackhead son of yours that you don’t get something for nothing. And the next time he or his anorexic girlfriend even so much as thinks about smoking some of my stuff and not paying up, I’m goin’ put a bullet in his head, her head, yo head, and that pretty little wife of yours’ head. And I’m going do it all right in the middle of Sunday morning service.” He never took his eyes off Simon the entire time he spoke. Somehow, Simon knew this man meant every word he said.

“Thank you for the warning, Mr. Drug Dealer. Now get off my property,” Simon said sternly.

The man smiled, kicked David one last time for good measure, then motioned for his boys to leave with him.

David coughed, sputtering up blood. Loretta raced out onto the porch, dropped down, and lifted David’s head until it was resting on her lap. Both of his eyes were swollen, and a cut above one was bleeding. He moaned and clutched his ribs.

Loretta cried and rocked David back and forth.

“It’s goin’ to be okay, baby. Hang on, we’re gonna get you some help.” Loretta looked up at Simon. “Go call an ambulance.”

Simon just stood there, staring at David.

“Go!” Loretta repeated.

Simon shook his head in disgust. “You reap what you sow,” he said, as he turned inside to call for help.

J
ONATHAN STOOD NERVOUSLY
at the door to the small meeting room. He couldn’t believe he let his father talk him into this. Angela was more than capable of planning the youth day celebration without him. This was just his father’s way of pushing them together.

Jonathan actually cared very deeply for Angela. But after Tracy, he didn’t know what he wanted anymore.

Angela looked up and saw Jonathan standing in the doorway. “Hey, come on in. Your dad told me you were coming, although honestly, I didn’t think you’d show.”

Jonathan shifted.

“Have a seat. I already have the first activity planned. I was thinking a church lock-in for the kids.”

Jonathan relaxed. Angela was getting straight to business so he didn’t have to worry about any uncomfortable moments between them.

Angela spent the next hour detailing her plans for the week and soliciting Jonathan’s input. After they wrapped up, Jonathan felt like he hadn’t been much help, but she seemed to value his advice.

Angela had been perky throughout most of the meeting, but her mood was suddenly changing. Jonathan figured she must have been thinking about them.

He tried to make small talk, but she didn’t seem receptive. Finally, she looked him directly in the eyes and said, “Are you sure it wasn’t another woman?”

Jonathan could see how much she was still hurting. “No. I promise you that.” He wished he could talk to her. That was one thing he’d loved about their relationship, they could talk about anything. Anything but the real reason he left.

“Angela, it was never you. It was just me.” He gazed at her beautiful hazel eyes and smiled at the memories of the fun they used to have.

“You know you really hurt me.” The words came out slow and deliberate.

Jonathan’s mind went back to his last conversation with Tracy. They hadn’t talked since that day at the airport. Tracy had moved on. It was time he did, too. With Veronica it was all about lust, but he could honestly say what he still felt for Angela went far beyond that.

Jonathan gently rubbed his hand across Angela’s cheek. “That was never my intention.”

Angela inhaled, then nodded, fighting off tears. Jonathan stood, walked over, and pulled her up into his arms. “I’m sorry.”

She didn’t cry, but her body sank in his embrace. Her perfume tingled his nose. He, too, felt relieved as he hugged her tightly. “I’ll always love you,” he whispered.

Angela looked up at him. “Jonathan, don’t say stuff you don’t mean.”

“I mean it, Angela.” He didn’t know where all this was coming from. Just holding her brought back so many memories. Or was he just trying to escape Tracy? Either way, Jonathan knew it felt good to have her in his arms again.

The next thing he knew, his lips were moving toward Angela’s. When they met, he felt the electricity he thought was long gone and he kissed her with passion and intensity.

“Now as happy as I am to see this display of affection, I don’t think the church is the place for it.”

Angela and Jonathan jumped apart at the sound of Simon’s voice. He was standing at the entrance to the room with Loretta by his side.

“Dad—” Jonathan stammered. Angela looked down at the floor.

“That’s okay, son. Nothing to be ashamed about. It warms my heart to see you two together. I pray this is a sign of good things to come.”

Angela never removed her eyes from the floor. “Reverend Jackson, that kiss … it was nothing.”

“Nonsense,” Simon said. “I saw the sparks before I stepped into the room. You two are destined to be together. God knows it and soon enough, you’ll know it, too.” Simon beamed with pride. “Now, let me see what great things you two have planned for our young people!”

Destined to be together. Jonathan pondered the thought. Maybe that’s why his relationship with Tracy had failed. Because his destiny lay here at home.

S
IMON STARED AT HI S OLDEST SON
sprawled out across the sofa watching television. The sight of him made Simon sick. He kept trying and trying to give David the benefit of the doubt, and David kept messing up.

David’s ribs were taped up with white gauze. Both his right eye and his lips were swollen. He had spent two days in the hospital, a bill that Simon had to foot. Then Loretta had been adamant about David staying with them until he got better. At first, Simon said no, but Loretta wouldn’t let up. Since she very seldom spoke up about anything, he eventually just let it go. He didn’t like it, but for the sake of his wife, he’d deal with it for a couple of weeks.

Now, watching David lounging on his sofa, flipping the channels, he felt his anger rising again. All this because of drugs.

Simon decided not to get into it with David because Jonathan was in a chair in the corner fast asleep.

Simon walked over to the sofa, snatched the remote out of David’s hand, then returned to his seat in the recliner. David looked like he wanted to protest, then thought better of it. Simon flipped to the religious channel and began watching a church service.

David groaned loudly. “Do we have to watch this?”

Simon didn’t take his eyes off the TV. “No, you don’t have to watch anything. You can go back to your place and watch whatever you’d like.”

David exhaled and gently flipped over, turning his back to his father.

“Maybe if you did watch programs like this from time to time, your life wouldn’t be so messed up.”

“Oh, here we go. I knew this was coming. I’m just surprised it didn’t come up sooner,” David said, from the wall.

Simon flipped the TV off and leaned forward. If he woke up Jon, then so be it. “What’s wrong with you, boy? Why do you defile your body like that?”

David didn’t respond.

“Answer me!”

David turned back over to face his father. “Defile my body like what?”

“You dang near got killed trying to cheat somebody out of some drugs. Do they make you feel that good? I’m just trying to understand.” Simon threw up his arms in frustration.

“As a matter of fact, they do. They help me forget my troubles.”

“What troubles? You live with your girlfriend; you don’t work. What troubles you got?”

David glowered at his father. “How about a father that can’t stand me.”

Simon leaned back and exhaled loudly. “Of course, this has to be my fault. It all comes back down to what a horrible father I am.”

David shook his head. “I didn’t say that.”

“So, what are you saying then? That I’m the reason you got hurt in school? I’m the reason you weren’t man enough to pick yourself up? I’m the reason you turned to drugs?”

David wouldn’t respond. He covered his eyes with his hand.

“Look at your brother here.” Simon pointed to Jonathan, who had awakened but was trying to stay out of their argument. “You’re the one who’s supposed to be setting an example. But it’s Jon who has himself together. A college graduate.”

“Oh, that Jonathan,” David sarcastically responded. “He should get a Nobel Peace Prize. He’s right up there with Jesus.”

“Say what you want about Jon. It’s a good thing I got him, because you and Rachel, y’all could shame the devil!”

Simon threw the remote on the table, got up, and stormed out.

Jonathan and David sat in silence for a few minutes.

“Man, I’m sorry about that,” Jonathan finally said.

David laughed, removing his hand from his face. “Hey, it ain’t nothing new.”

Jonathan cast his eyes downward. Unfortunately, he was right. Even growing up, he was always the favored one. He was always the one that Simon praised, doted over, and compared everyone else to. It had caused his siblings to be bitter toward him and made his childhood miserable.

“I’ll never live up to King Jonathan. I’ve stopped trying,” David continued.

“Just be yourself, David.”

“Myself?” David laughed. “ Naw, man. I am now, and forever will be, a worthless piece of shit in the eyes of the honorable Reverend Simon Jackson.”

“It’s just the drugs. He can’t stand seeing you on drugs.”

“Jon, quit fooling yourself. I’ve always been worthless to him. The bad little son who was always shaming the good reverend. It got so the only time he ever showed me any attention was when he was getting on my case about something I did. Then I discovered I could play football. That’s the only thing that made me halfway decent in his eyes. So when that was gone, what was left?”

“You can’t blame Dad for your doing drugs.”

“I’m not blaming him. I get high ’cause I like getting high. I don’t have to think about shit when I’m floating in the air.”

“Man, watch your language. Mama’s right in the kitchen.”

“See? Good ol’ Jon, always minding his manners.”

Jonathan surveyed his brother. He looked horrible, and not just from the beating he had sustained. “Why are you so bitter?”

“You’d be bitter too if you spent your whole life trying to live up to your little brother. It’s bad enough we gotta compete with that damned church, but then I gotta compete with you, holier-than-thou Jonathan.”

Jonathan hated that people had that attitude about him. “I’m not holier than thou.”

David snickered. “Oh, yeah, you are. Or at least you want everybody to think you are. You have sex; that’s your downfall. I’ve heard the stories. Not from you, ’cause you want everybody to think you’re so perfect. But I heard about all the women you be bonin’. You can’t even admit to your own brother that you’re having sex. Why? You’re a grown man.”

“I never said I don’t have sex. I just don’t talk about it.”

“My point exactly. What twenty-three-year-old man you know don’t talk about it? That’s because you don’t want people to know. More specifically, you don’t want Dad to know. It would just break his heart to know you bone and move on.”

“I’m not like that anymore.”

“Whatever you say, man. Can you pass me the remote, please?”

Jonathan got up and walked over to the table. He reached down, grabbed the remote, then threw it at his brother. “I’m just saying things would be so much easier if you would just give up the drugs. I mean, you’re not that hooked. You’ve been here three days without them.”

David caught the remote, switched the TV back on, and began flipping channels. “Yeah, that’s why I’m about to go crazy. But that’s all right, Tawny will be here in a little while to bring me a hit.”

Jonathan looked at his brother in shock. “I know you’re not going to sit in their house and get high.”

“Of course not. We goin’ go out back,” David laughed. “You need to try it yourself. It’ll help you relieve some of that pressure from trying to be Mr. Perfect.”

Jonathan debated what to do. He contemplated telling his father, but he knew he would kick David out so fast it wouldn’t be funny.

Loretta appeared in the doorway. “Hey, boys. Are you all hungry?”

Jonathan shook his head. “No, thank you.” His mind wasn’t on food. He was thinking of David’s words and how tired he was of trying to live up to that perfect image. He even found himself questioning his relationship with Angela. They had been hanging out more and more in the last few weeks. It’s like she was the icing on his picture-perfect life. That’s why everyone was pushing for them to be together.

“Mama, are you all right?” David asked.

Jonathan was so caught up in his thoughts he hadn’t noticed his mother lean against the wall and grab her chest. She looked pale. Jonathan walked toward his mother. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Just a little chest pain,” Loretta responded.

Simon walked into the room. “It’s probably all the added stress around here,” Simon said, glaring at David. He patted his recliner. “Here, sweetheart, have a seat.”

Loretta didn’t move. She was still rubbing her chest. “No, I need to finish cooking. Dinner’s just about ready.”

Jonathan spoke up. “Mother, I’ll go in and finish.”

Loretta weakly smiled like she was actually grateful to be off the hook for dinner. “Okay, baby. If you all don’t mind, I’m going to go lie down. I’m not feeling too well. It’s probably just a little indigestion. You know how I love to nibble as I’m cooking.” “Do you need some help?” David asked.

“As if you’d be able to help her,” Simon snapped.

“Now you all stop all this fussing. No, I don’t need any help. I’m just going to go upstairs and lie down. You all just enjoy your dinner. Rachel and the kids should be by shortly.”

Loretta hadn’t gotten out of the room good before Simon spun toward David. “Do you see this? You’re making your mother sick!”

David relaxed back on the sofa and turned his attention back to the TV.

“Do you hear me talking to you?” Simon shouted.

David quickly sat up, moaning at the pain of moving so fast. “Of course, this would all be my fault. The rising price of gas is my fault. All the madness and mayhem in the world, yep, I’m responsible for that as well, as usual.”

Simon stomped over and stood in front of his son. “This is your fault! Bringing this nonsense into our house. Having thugs scare your mother half to death.” Simon stopped talking when he noticed a shadow out on the patio. He peered outside. The figure ducked down behind the rose bushes. Simon raced to the patio doors, threw them open, and yelled, “Who’s over there? You better come out right now, or I’m calling the cops.” He waited for a response. “Jonathan, call the police! The last thing I need is those thugs coming back to the house to finish what they started.”

“Wait! Wait! Wait!” Tawny stepped out from behind the rose bushes. She looked a mess. Her stringy hair was still matted to her face. Her clothes were dirty and she looked like she hadn’t slept in days. “Ain’t no need to call five-oh.”

Simon surveyed the woman with disgust. “Are you David’s girlfriend?”

“Yeah.” Tawny held up her head. “I came to see my man.”

Simon pointed to the small brown paper bag in her hand. “What’s that?”

Tawny moved the bag behind her back. “Um. Nothing. Just a little somethin’, somethin’ to help David get better. Where is he?”

David had managed to struggle off the sofa and was leaning over Simon’s shoulder looking out the patio door. “Yo, Tawny, I’m busy right now. I’ll get with you later.”

Tawny strained to see David. “What? I know you ain’t had me catch the bus, coming all the way over here, just to send me home!”

“Tawny, now ain’t the time.”

“I tell you what.” Tawny held up the bag and shook it. “If I leave I’m smoking this shit by myself.”

David put his hands on his head in frustration. Simon scrunched up his brow in disbelief and turned to face David. “I know you didn’t have this scandalous woman bring drugs to my house.”

“He damn sho’ did!” Tawny yelled. “So, David get your old man to let me in, or bring your ass outside!”

Simon twirled back around to face Tawny. “Young lady, I think you need to leave,” he said, in as civil a voice as he could muster.

“Yeah. Beat it, Tawny. You can’t come over to my mama’s house acting a fool!” David shouted.

Tawny went ballistic. “I’m out here tricking so your ass can get a hit. That ugly, fat-ass man you sent me to damn near suffocated me. Then turned around and gypped me and only gave me half the stuff he promised.”

“You slept with him?” David yelled. “I told you not to sleep with him!”

“Whatever! How was I supposed to pay him, stupid? I did all that,” she held up the bag again, “and I get over here and you want to play me for crazy! You done lost your damned mind! Hell, naw, we fixin’ ta smoke this right now!”

Jonathan was standing in the window, his mouth hanging wide open. Simon whispered, “Lord Jesus, have mercy on my soul. Not only is my son a drug addict, he’s a pimp to boot.”

“Daddy, I ain’t no pimp. Don’t be listening to Tawny. She high.” He hobbled around his father. “Girl, you better take that crap somewhere else! Coming over here disrespecting my people!”

“Mother—” Tawny stopped talking, looked around, spotted a brick stacked up against the side of the house, then picked it up and hauled it toward David. Simon and David both dove out of the way, just as the brick smashed into the window next to the patio. Glass went everywhere. “You sorry, good for nothing, trifling-ass dog!” Tawny continued to search for more things to throw.

Loretta appeared in the den’s entrance. “What in the world is going on down here?” She looked at the busted window, then peered outside. “What happened and who is that out there acting crazy?”

Jonathan just shook his head. “That’s Tawny, David’s girlfriend.”

“She ain’t my girlfriend no more!” David shouted, pulling himself up off the ground. “I’m through with stupid hos!”

Loretta rubbed her chest and sank in the recliner. “Oh, Jesus.”

Simon was still in shock and remained stooped on the ground. Jonathan decided it was time for him to get this situation under control. He eased outside in front of his brother. “Tawny,” he called out. “David didn’t mean any of that. He’s on painkillers. That’s why he’s talking crazy.”