Let the Church Say Amen (6 page)

T
HE CHURCH MEMBERS
were filing out at their usual, slow pace. David sat on the stoop at the corner store across the street. He watched his father meet and greet members. Of course, Loretta was poised by his side. And Jonathan was positioned firmly right next to her. The prodigal son. David laughed as he imagined how proud his father must be to have Jonathan standing there with him, greeting the good folks of Zion Hill.

David had seen Rachel high-tail it out of there before the service was even completely over. He thought about calling out to her, but she was moving so fast he didn’t have time to get near her.

David took a long drag on his cigarette, letting the smoke sit in his mouth before exhaling. Everyone who came out was hugging Jonathan, patting him on the back. No doubt, David imagined, telling him what a great son he was.

David couldn’t help but be bitter at his brother’s status in their family. Everyone from relatives to members of the church were always talking about how “great” Jonathan was. How Loretta and Simon should be so “proud.” Then they’d look at David with disdain, shaking their heads, lamenting that they didn’t know where Loretta and Simon “had gone wrong” as far as he was concerned.

Their disdain he could deal with. It’s the hurt he saw in his father’s eyes every time Simon looked at him, that cut to the core of his heart. No one understood just how much he needed, how much he wanted, his father’s acceptance. Sure Loretta tried to make up where Simon fell short. And David loved her dearly for trying, but there was nothing like having his father’s love. And it had been a long time since David felt any semblance of love from his father.

“Ohhh, baby, we hit pay dirt!” David glanced up at Tawny standing over him. She was dancing around excitedly. “That woman in there didn’t even notice me bump into her.” Tawny held up a black wallet. “And I moved so fast, she definitely didn’t feel me take this. And look, baby.” Tawny opened the wallet and pulled out two one-hundred-dollar bills. “Ol’ girl was loaded! You were so right about them church folks carrying cash.”

Tawny was so excited, but David wasn’t sharing in her enthusiasm. It had been his idea to hit the soul food restaurant down the street from Zion Hill. He knew that several members went there after church for dinner. The place was usually packed and David thought Tawny, an experienced pickpocket, could easily score them some money.

“I can’t believe we ain’t come here before this!” Tawny proclaimed.

David just grunted and turned his attention back to his family, who was saying good-bye to the last of the church members.

“What’s up? Why you look so down? We got two hundred dollars. We can get real high tonight,” Tawny said, seductively rubbing the money across David’s face.

David didn’t know what it was but he no longer had any interest in getting high. He had no interest in anything. He just wanted to be by himself.

He stood up, tossed his cigarette down, and started walking toward the church.

“Where are you going?” Tawny yelled.

David thought about just ignoring her. But Tawny wasn’t one to be ignored. She would follow him and act a fool and that was the last thing David wanted.

“Look, baby,” he said, turning to Tawny. “I got some business I need to handle. Why don’t you go take the money and buy yourself something nice and I’ll meet you back at the apartment.”

“I had planned on buying something nice, something real nice,” she said, waving the money.

“No. No rocks, okay?” David was getting flustered. He didn’t realize the affect sitting there watching his family would have on him. He really was getting tired of his life, but every time he tried to move one step forward, Tawny pulled him two steps back.

“What? You don’t want to get high?”

David realized it would be useless to try and reason with her. Tawny was a bona fide addict and she wasn’t trying to hear anything about giving it up.

“Naw, baby. It’s just, my brother is back in town. And, I think, maybe I can hit him up for even more money.” David would say anything to get Tawny to leave.

The thought of even more money brightened Tawny’s expression. “Damn, that would be right on time,” Tawny exclaimed.

“Okay, so you go on and I’ll catch up with you this evening.”

Tawny smiled, then reached over and hugged David, sticking her tongue in his ear. Any other time, that would’ve seriously turned him on. But right now, it only repulsed him.

“Later, baby. Don’t be too long, okay. I don’t want to have to smoke up all the stuff on my own,” Tawny said.

She giggled and walked off. David imagined that at one time, Tawny was probably very pretty. She had turned to drugs after dating a drug dealer named Raymond. Raymond almost killed her once he discovered she was sneaking his stash. But by that point, she was well beyond hooked.

David and Tawny had hooked up after he noticed her picking someone’s pocket at the bus stop. He had just started using heroin every now and then to escape the pain in his life—the disappointment from losing his football career before it even really got started. Once he got with Tawny, heroin was upgraded, or downgraded rather, to crack cocaine. And his usage had gone from every-now-and-then to almost daily. The worst he had ever sunk was when he went to his father’s church with the sole purpose of getting money off the collection plate. His father had banned him from the church after that. And he hadn’t set foot in Zion Hill since.

But today, something had come over him. David didn’t know if it was seeing his brother, or just seeing the family being a family. Either way, he longed to be a part of that again.

He made his way to the steps of the church just as the last person was filing out. Loretta spotted him first.

“David!” She called out, extending her arms to embrace him.

David reached in and hugged his mother. As usual, it felt so good being in her arms. He wished he could go back to being a little boy, when Loretta used to hold him, rocking him and singing his favorite songs. She kissed him on the cheek and pulled back. “Were you in the service?”

“No, I didn’t quite make it to the service,” he said. “But I was in the area and wanted to say hello.”

Jonathan had moved in closer and was standing behind Loretta. “What’s up, big brother?”

“Nothing much, little brother.” David reached out to shake Jonathan’s hand. He hadn’t seen Jon since the last time his family tried to put him in rehab. He knew Jon was disappointed in him as well.

Jonathan took David’s hand, then pulled him into an embrace. “Man, you better give me a hug.” David smiled and patted his brother’s back as they hugged. He pulled back and stared at his father, who was standing at the top of the steps.

“Hey,” David said.

“David.” Simon looked like he was sizing up his son. “I hope you’re not here to cause any problems.”

“Simon, don’t be like that,” Loretta snapped. “We haven’t seen David in almost two months.”

Simon crossed his arms. David couldn’t make out the look on his face.

“Did you come to the house of the Lord to be cleansed?”

Suddenly, David didn’t feel like coming over here was such a great idea. “I just wanted to say hi, that’s all. I didn’t want to cause any trouble.”

David looked helplessly at Loretta, who had tears forming in her eyes. She reached out and rubbed his chin.

“Baby, you don’t look so good. Come home and eat dinner with us. I made your favorite, oxtails and rice and green bean casserole. When’s the last time you had a decent meal?” Loretta said.

David glanced back at his father. “I’m straight, Ma. I know Daddy doesn’t want me around and I want to respect his wishes.”

Loretta kept her gaze on David, adjusting his shirt that was drooping off one shoulder. “You know how your father is. It’ll be okay. It’s just dinner. You have to eat. Plus, you can catch up with your brother. Ain’t that right, Simon?” Loretta finally turned to her husband, pleading with him to give in.

“That’s okay, Ma,” David interjected once Simon didn’t respond. “I have stuff to do anyway.” David found himself fighting back tears. What he wouldn’t give just to sit down and have dinner with his family.

“Please, David.”

“You heard the boy. He got stuff to do,” Simon sternly said.

Loretta shook her head as the tears started falling. “Look at what you’re doing, Simon. He’s reaching out. He’s trying and you just keep shutting him out.”

David reached up and squeezed his mother’s hands. “It’s okay, Mama, don’t cry. Daddy’s right. I need to get myself together before I come back into your life.” David was trying hard to ward off the tears. “I gotta go.” He kissed Loretta on the forehead, then turned to Jonathan. “I’ll see you around, okay?”

Jonathan nodded, his eyes misting as well.

David stared at Simon one last time. “Bye.”

Simon didn’t respond and David turned to walk away. “David?” Simon called out just as he made it to the sidewalk. Simon uncrossed his arms and walked over to his son. His look had softened and was actually etched with concern. “I hope you understand … I just … I just want better for you, that’s all. It hurts your mother …” Simon lowered his head. “It hurts me, to see you like this.” Simon took a deep breath. “Whenever you want some help. Whenever you really want to let those drugs go, you call me, okay?”

David felt the tears trickling down his cheek. He could not believe what he was hearing. He wished he could just let the drugs go, just like that. He thought about even saying he would just so his father could accept him again. But he had been down that road before and he knew if he wanted to make things right, really right, he would have to seriously make some changes.

“Thank you, Dad,” David responded. “You don’t know how much that means.” David gently wiped his eyes, nodded at his family, then turned and walked away from the church, a huge smile plastered across his face. “Maybe I really can let this stuff go,” he mumbled to himself.

David knew that wouldn’t be easy, but now, more than ever, he knew he wanted to at least try.

R
ACHEL IGNORED
the homeless man begging her for spare change. This neighborhood was going to the dogs. She remembered when she was growing up, the Fondren area was a nice place to live. The football player Warren Moon and the gospel singer Yolanda Adams used to make their homes there. But the proliferation of apartment buildings over the years had completely brought the area down. The corner store she was at had burglar bars all over the windows and the owner, Rashid, wouldn’t even open the doors after ten. You had to buy whatever you wanted through a small drawer.

Rachel pushed her quarters into the pay phone and punched in Bobby’s phone number. She was still fuming about having to use the corner pay phone in the first place. Apparently, Bobby had blocked both her and her parents’ numbers because every time she tried to call him from either place, she got a message saying “calls not accepted.” She also knew he had Caller ID on his phone, which was another reason he wasn’t answering.

She tried paging him and putting in 9-1-1, but even that hadn’t worked. What if something happened to Jordan? How was she supposed to get in touch with him then? She figured the only way he would answer was if he didn’t recognize the number.

Sure enough, he picked up.

“Hello.”

Rachel took a deep breath to calm down. “Hi.”

Bobby paused. “Rachel, what do you want?”

“Don’t get all nasty with me. I just called to see how you were doing. I heard about Eric.”

Twyla had told Rachel about Bobby’s best friend, Eric, killing himself. She didn’t really think black men committed suicide, but Eric sure enough did. Twyla said something about him and his girlfriend having a fight, things getting out of hand, and him shooting himself. Although she’d never wish anyone dead, she really didn’t care that much. Eric never liked her, so she definitely wasn’t sad about his death, but she needed a conversation piece with Bobby. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m okay. Thanks for asking. Now what do you really want?”

“I was just checking on you, that’s all.”

“Yeah, right.”

“I was. Anyway, don’t you want to know how your son is doing? You haven’t even called to check on him.”

“Rachel, I can’t deal with you today.”

Rachel leaned against the phone booth and started twirling the metal phone cord. “Jordan asked about you.”

Bobby let out an exasperated sigh. “How is he?”

“He misses his daddy,” Rachel purred.

“I miss him, too.”

Rachel could tell she was getting to him. If Bobby had a soft spot for anyone, it was for his son.

“He asked me would you come see him.”

Bobby hesitated again. “Can you drop him off at my mother’s?”

Rachel bit down on her lip. She had to keep her cool. “I can’t. My car broke down,” she said, lying. “I can’t make it over there. You can come over to my place, though.”

“I don’t know.”

“Bobby, you can come see your son. I promise I won’t bite you.”

“Rachel, I don’t want no drama.”

“You won’t have any. I promise,” Rachel said in the most sincere voice she could muster.

“All right. I’ll see you in about thirty minutes. Bye.”

Rachel said good-bye and placed the phone back on the hook. She was smiling uncontrollably. She glanced at her watch and figured out how long it would take her to change and get cute. Luckily, she had just left the beauty shop, so her hair was looking good. She just needed to change into something sexy. She was determined to seduce Bobby and get him back into her life.

Rachel raced home. The kids were still asleep. David was asleep on the sofa as well. He’d been there since yesterday, when his girlfriend kicked him out of the apartment. Rachel almost didn’t let him stay with her, but the bottom line was he was still her brother.

Rachel hated leaving her children with David, but she thought it would be okay since she was just running to use the phone. Now, however, with Bobby coming over, David had to go.

“Hey!” Rachel shook her brother trying to wake him up. “David! Wake up. You gots to go.”

“Huh? Wha … what’s going on?” David wiped his face trying to wake up.

Rachel turned her nose up at her brother’s putrid smell. His white Nike T-shirt was now a dingy yellow and splattered with food stains. It looked like he hadn’t changed clothes in a week. His hair was in desperate need of cutting. No wonder Tawny put him out. But then, judging from the one time Rachel had met her, she didn’t look much better.

Rachel didn’t feel like fighting her brother either way, so she thought quickly. “Uh, I just talked with your girlfriend’s cousin. She told me Tawny has already moved somebody else in y’alls’ apartment.”

“What?” David jumped up. “You lying!”

“For real. You better get over there and handle your business.”

“That’s why she put me out.” David muttered. “She claimed it was because I was broke and she was tired of buying all the um …” David caught himself and looked at Rachel, “… of buying everything,” he continued. “And all this time it was just so she could move somebody else in!”

“You better go check it out,” Rachel said as she started straightening up the sofa. David lived on the other side of town, so he’d be gone awhile. If she got lucky with Bobby, she just wouldn’t answer the door when he got back.

David jumped up and slipped on his gym shoes. He grabbed the keys to his rickety old truck and raced out of the apartment without saying good-bye.

Rachel closed and locked the door, looked in on the kids in the back bedroom they shared, then walked into her bathroom. She popped in her favorite CD, turned the shower on, jumped in and lathered down with Peaches-n-Cream shower gel. A few minutes later, she was standing in her walk-in closet, trying to find something to wear. She decided on a red Tommy Hilfiger skirt and a black sleeveless sweater that showed off her ample bosom. Rachel sprayed on Bobby’s favorite perfume, Trésor, then went to switch the Tupac CD for something romantic.

More than an hour passed and Rachel was starting to get irritated; that’s when she heard a car pull up out front. She excitedly raced to the window and looked out. She didn’t recognize the black Ford Expedition, but saw that it was definitely Bobby behind the wheel.
Since when did he get a new truck?
Rachel closed the blind she had been peeking out of and moved toward the door. She gave Bobby time to knock.

“Who is it?” she seductively called.

“It’s me.”

Rachel leaned against the door and smiled. “Me who?”

“Stop playing games and open the door.”

Rachel put the chain on the door and cracked it open.

“Bobby, oh, I didn’t know if you were still coming, it being so late and all.”

“Well, I’m here now. Where’s Jordan?”

Rachel scanned his body. He looked so good in a tan shirt that fit snugly on his muscle-filled chest and crisply starched blue jeans. Her eyes made their way down to the key chain in his hand. “You got a new car?”

Bobby huffed. “Just go get Jordan.”

Rachel straightened up and smiled. “Why can’t you answer my question? You think I’m going to try to put you on child support just because you seem to be rolling in dough?”

“I am not rolling in dough. If you must know, the truck belongs to a friend.”

The smile left Rachel’s face. “A friend? Who?”

“Rachel, just go get Jordan.” Bobby had a look across his face like he regretted coming to Rachel’s in the first place.

Rachel stood on her toes and looked down at the truck. The license plate on the front said “Miss S.”

Her eyebrows narrowed and she felt her blood starting to boil. “I know you did not come over in
her
truck.”

“Rachel. Don’t do this. I just want to see Jordan.”

“Is that Shante’s truck?” Rachel screamed through the cracked door. Bobby didn’t respond. “Answer me!” she yelled.

“Rachel, my car is in the shop. I didn’t have any other way over here. Now please …”

Rachel didn’t let him finish. She slammed the door in his face.

Bobby started pounding on the door. “Rachel! Jordan! Jordan, it’s Daddy.”

“Go to hell!” Rachel shouted through the closed door.

“I thought you said I could see Jordan,” Bobby said in a calm voice.

“I changed my mind; now beat it before I call the cops!”

She heard Bobby curse, then kick the door. The kick was so hard she thought the door would cave in. She almost expected him to knock it down, he was just that mad, but she didn’t care. How dare he come over to her house in another woman’s vehicle? She peeked out the window. He had gotten back in the truck and was speeding off.

“Bastard,” Rachel muttered. “You’ll be sorry.”