Letters to the Baumgarters (15 page)

Mason re-appeared with a cool cloth, resting it on my forehead. It felt
good, but I was still so cold! Nico talked to the doctor as Mason wiped my face
and neck with the washcloth, whispering my name, kissing my cheek.

“What did he say?” Mason asked when Nico hung up the phone.

“He’s going to prescribe antibiotics,” Nico told him, switching back to
English. “But he wants to see her on Monday.”

I groaned. “No more doctors!”

“He also said we have to get her fever down.”

Mason nodded. “Do you have aspirin?”

“Bring her into the bathroom.” Nico was already heading out of the room.

“Can’t you just go get it?” Mason called.

“We need to get her into the tub.”

“What?” I protested, but Mason carried me and Nico ran the water. They
undressed me like a child, fed me aspirins, and helped me to the tub.

I screamed, thrashing in the water, trying to escape.

“It’s freezing!”

“Keep her in.” Nico’s mouth was set in a grim line. “I have to get ice.”

My teeth chattered so much, the noise in my head so loud, I could barely
hear Mason’s words as he grabbed my limbs, pushing me back in, something about
holding still and being for my own good.

“Do we really have to do this?” Mason panted when Nico brought a bowl
full of ice cubes into the bathroom.

“The doctor said to.” Nico looked at me, his face pained. “If her fever
gets much higher, she may start to have seizures. It could cause brain injury.”

“Christ.” Mason winced as Nico poured the ice in and I screamed again.

“Please,” I begged them both, my eyes wild, so cold I couldn’t feel my
fingers where my nails dug into Mason’s forearm. “Oh god, please, stop.
Please!”

Nico’s voice was hoarse. “I have to get more.”

I sobbed, clinging to Mason, and then to Nico, when the freezer was empty
of ice. They took turns soothing me, both men working to cool my feverish body
as I writhed in the tub, begging for it to end.

Nico took my temperature, although I was shivering so much I could barely
keep the thermometer between my chattering teeth.

“What is it?” Mason asked, his jaw tight.

Nico’s shoulders visibly relaxed. “Better. Let’s get her to bed.”

A fluffy towel and four rough hands later, I was dry. One of Mason’s
t-shirts—it smelled comfortingly like him—went over my head and this time Nico
carried me back to the bed.

“I’m so sorry,” Nico whispered into my ear in Italian, kissing my cheek,
my temple, as he pulled the covers up to my chin. “Hang on, bella. I love you.”

“Just don’t leave me.” I put my arms around his neck and hung on.

The doorbell rang and Mason and Nico exchanged glances.

“It’s the pharmacy,” Nico said.

Mason was already heading toward the door.

And then there were more pills, two huge ones, big enough to gag a horse.
I choked and spit water all down the front of me, wetting the t-shirt. Mason
pulled it off and just covered me with the down-filled blanket again.

“Now what?” Mason sat next to me on the bed.

“We wait. We pray. We hope.” Nico was on my other side, his cool hand
pressed against my forehead.

Mason snorted. “Isn’t there something a little more proactive we can do?”

“There’s nothing but this.” Nico spooned me, his arm around my waist.

“I’m still cold.” I opened my eyes, seeing Mason looking at us, his
expression unreadable. I reached for him, feeling desperate. “Please.”

He came to bed, his breath warm on my cheek, his hand on my hip.

“Closer,” I whispered, and he obliged. They both did, enveloping me, and
I finally relaxed, this time falling into a dreamless, peaceful sleep with no
fire, no ice.

Chapter Seven

Dear Carrie and Doc,

I need your advice. Nico and Mason are competing for me all the time.
I think they’ve decided to live together—they’re roommates now, at least for
the time Mason is staying—just to drive me crazy. And to make sure they can
both keep tabs on what I’m doing, of course. I feel so caught between the two
of them and I don’t know what to do.

Tell me. Please tell me what to do, who to choose. I’m at a loss. I
don’t trust my own compass or judgment, especially since it’s telling me that I
want them both. That can’t be right. Something in me must be broken, off. I
know this shouldn’t be so hard, but every time I imagine leaving one of them
for the other, I become paralyzed.

And it’s not about hurting them, although I know I would hurt one if I
chose the other. It’s about me. I feel as if I’m connected to both of them in a
very deep, profound way, and I’m not sure I am even capable of making such a
difficult choice.

But I trust you both. I love you. And I know you want what’s best for
me. So I’m asking you, as your former lover and best friend, please, just tell
me what to do. Whatever it is, I promise you, I swear to Nico’s God and
everything that is sacred in the world, that
I will do it.

Just please, tell me which one to choose.

* *
* *

The doctor poked and prodded and confirmed that I had indeed developed an
infection. The antibiotics were working, however—my fever was gone and I felt
lighter already. There was no pain, and I’d inspected the incision sites.
They’d done the surgery laproscopically, just four small cuts in my abdomen
that were healing nicely. I’d have some scars on my belly to go with the
stretch marks from Isabella, but considering that they’d saved my uterus,
somehow I didn’t mind so much.

The boys were in the lobby—I’d refused to let them follow me in, much to
their chagrin. I took the opportunity to ask the doctor, “So about sex…?”

He raised his eyebrows and smiled. “Any time you’re feeling up to it.”

“Really?” I wasn’t sure if I was hoping for a yes or a no, but leaving it
up to me? That wasn’t fair. I had enough choices to make, didn’t I?

He assured me that it was perfectly safe, although I was glad Mason and
Nico didn’t hear him say so. He told me to continue to take it easy. I’d been
anemic when I was admitted to the hospital, and although they were
supplementing my iron and had given me a transfusion, he was concerned about
fainting spells.

“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” I assured him, going out to find Nico and Mason
talking in the lobby. They were laughing and the sight of something other than
a scowl on either of their faces when they were together shocked me.

“Ready to go?” Nico looked up as I approached. I nodded, and Mason stood,
taking my hand.

“I need a shower.” Being submerged in ice was my last experience with
bathing, and the memory wasn’t a good one. I’d pretty much just slept in
Mason’s bed since, tucked between the two of them, trying to recover from my
fever.

“We can do that,” Nico piped up, taking my other hand.

I rolled my eyes. “I’m sure I can shower by myself.”

“Actually, I’d like someone to supervise for a few days.” The sound of
the doctor’s voice through the little lobby window startled me. He was handing
a chart over to a nurse and had clearly overheard our conversation. He directed
his words to Mason and Nico. “She may be unsteady on her feet for a while. Just
keep an eye out.”

Mason saluted. “Will do, Doc!”

The doctor saluted him back and Nico laughed. We took a water-bus back to
their place, although I protested.

“I want my own bed, my own shower,” I complained. “And Cara Lucia—”

“We’ve already told Cara Lucia all about it,” Mason assured me.

“And I brought your books and I contacted your professors,” Nico added.

I blinked at them. “Did you bring me underwear too?”

“Actually…” Nico and Mason looked at each other. “We did.”

“Then I guess you’ve thought of everything.” I grimaced, crossing my arms
over my chest and watching the rain fall. I was glad we had the cover over us.
It was really coming down. According to Nico, the weather had been beautiful
while I was in the hospital, unseasonably warm, almost like summer, but spring
had returned with a vengeance.

Mason and Nico talked over my head—something about a football game, which
really meant soccer. I was surprised Mason was interested, given his usual
disdain for most sports, but from the gist of the conversation, they’d
apparently watched an exciting game together while I was in surgery, and now
Mason was hooked.

“I’m going to have to go back to my flat eventually,” I argued as we got
off the bus.

It was only a few blocks to their place, but by the time we reached it, I
was really starting to feel tired. Maybe I had overdone it a little bit on my
first venture out.

“You put her to bed,” Nico said to Mason as soon as we got up the stairs.
“I’ll make her some lunch.”

“But I need a shower!” I protested, nearly tripping over Jezebel, who wound
herself around my feet and mewed plaintively.

“Okay, shower first.” Mason nudged Jezebel out of the way but they all
followed me to the bathroom. I stood in the doorway while Nico started the
water and Mason got a towel out of the closet.

“Thanks, you guys.” I waved them out. “I can handle it from here.”

They exchanged looks, some sort of communication passing between them.

“I don’t think so.” Mason shut the door, leaning against it and looking
at me. It locked behind him.

“Remember what the doctor said?” Nico reminded me.

Mason had my shirt peeled off before I knew what was happening. Nico
worked the button and zipper on my jeans, wedging them down my hips. I
protested, but then my bra and panties were gone too, and they were putting me
in the shower.

“I really don’t need two babysitters.” I sighed, reaching for the soap. I
could smell myself, rank and strong. How could they even stand to be in the
same room with me?

“Are you doing all right?” Nico called.

I rolled my eyes, turning around and tilting my head back so the water
could wet my hair. That’s when I nearly passed out. The whole bathtub moved, or
at least I felt like it did, and I stumbled, my palms slipping on the slick
tile, trying to hold onto something to keep from falling. I think I cried out,
I’m not sure, but Mason was in the shower with me in an instant, still in jeans
and a t-shirt, holding me up.

“What happened?” I whispered, clinging to him.

“You lost a lot of blood,” Nico reminded me. Not to be outdone, he’d
stepped into the shower to rescue me too, still in his clothes as well.

I looked between them and laughed. “This is ridiculous.”

“You’re right.” Mason grinned, pulling off his t-shirt and tossing it
outside the curtain. Nico followed suit, and before I knew it, they both had
their jeans and boxers off too, and we were all standing there naked in the
shower together.

“You two are crazy.” I shook my head, still laughing, but I was
overwhelmed with gratitude when they both grabbed a washcloth and some soap and
started washing—not themselves, but me.

“I still feel really weak,” I admitted. It was strange to have them
touching me like this, together, but familiar too.

“Let us do all the work.” Nico soaped my hair and Mason helped him rinse
it, both men massaging my scalp, making me tingle.

Then they turned their attention to my body, Nico’s big hands moving down
over my back and shoulders. I giggled when he made me lift my arms so he could
scrub under them from behind.

“It’s a hard job, but somebody’s got to do it.” Mason grinned, giving up
the washcloth and using his hands to soap my breasts and belly. “Sorry, buddy,”
he said to Nico, looking at him over my shoulder. “I got all the fun parts.”
Mason’s hand moved down between my legs, soaping me there, too. I gasped.

“Not all of them.” Nico was close behind me and I felt his hand slip down
the crack of my ass.

“You’re bad,” I whispered, biting my lip when Nico’s soapy fingers probed
gently at my asshole, Mason still cupping my mound. “Oh god.”

“Let us take care of everything,” Mason murmured, his fingers slippery
against my pussy. I buried my face in his shoulder, my arms around his neck,
the warm water falling all around us, creating a cloud of steam. I felt even
weaker in the shower than I had on our outing and I let them both hold me up,
pressed between their flesh.

“It feels so good,” I murmured against Mason’s neck, arching, feeling
Nico’s hand probing my pussy too from behind, Mason’s from the front, both of
them seeking my heat.

“Sweet bella.” Nico kissed my wet head and I felt his cock against my
ass, incredibly hard. Mason was hard too, rising up toward my navel. How could
I have expected anything less? And still, it surprised me to be sandwiched
between them like this, their kisses gentle on my shoulders, my cheeks, both of
them saying my name.

“I love you, Mason,” I whispered, pressing myself more fully into the
circle of his arms. I glanced over my shoulder as Nico wrapped his arms around
my waist, nibbling my shoulder. “I love you, Nico.”

God help me. I did. I loved them both.

“I’m feeling dizzy,” I said, my breath coming far too fast. They both
rinsed me off and helped me out of the shower, drying me first and wrapping me
up in a towel, and then themselves. They led me back to Mason’s room, to the
bed. He’d changed the sheets from when I was so sick, so they were clean and
fresh.

“There you are.” Nico tucked me in, a towel still wrapped around his
waist. Mason was pulling on a pair of boxers.

“Don’t go.” I grabbed his hand, pulling him toward me.

“I have to make lunch,” Nico said, but he slid under the covers beside me
anyway, taking me into his arms.

“Mason,” I called, reaching for him too. He pulled the covers aside and
spooned me from behind. I smiled, pressed between them. “I like this.”

That was an understatement. When we’d first been like this, I was sick,
practically delirious. Now, although I was still a little weak, I was far more
aware of the feel of their bodies against mine, the long press of Nico’s thigh,
the grip Mason had on my hip. Neither of them could seem to keep their hands
off me, roaming over my bare skin under the sheet, exploring hills and valleys.