Leverage (Part Three) (Billionaire Romance) (5 page)

Julianna nodded and decided to just go with it. She was fairly certain Miles wasn’t going to murder her and leave her body for the wild animals but she did feel a bit reckless traipsing about with a relative stranger into an area that looked as if human beings hadn’t visited since the early 19
th
century. But as they went deeper down the path, flanked by towering trees and big leafy plants, Julianna smiled in wonder at the wild beauty. “Boy, it’s easy to imagine what life was like before technology took over,” she said, her gaze roaming the landscape and breathing in the sweet, humid air. “This is gorgeous.”

“See? I told you you’d like it,” he said, pointing. “It’s just up over that bend. Can you make it?”

She scoffed at his concern. “I’m not made of China. I’m fine. Lead the way.”

He readjusted his pack with an approving grin and pushed on. Within a few minutes they’d crested the small hill and broke the clearing.
Julianna sucked in a wild breath, amazed at the untamed lush jungle. True to his word, a small meadow broke the tangle of trees and plants, creating an oasis amid the chaos. “Oh man, you weren’t lying. This is amazing,” she breathed, allowing Miles to take her small backpack and set it down along with his. Julianna did a 360 and giggled with delight at this unexpected find. “You know, this island is nothing short of spectacular but this…wow. How’d you find this?”

“Just tromping around, looking for treasure,” he answered with a playful smile
that would’ve melted a lesser woman’s heart.

“Treasure?”

“Hell yeah, St. Thomas used to be a major port of trade and pirates were everywhere in the Caribbean. It’s not as if they used banks to stash their booty. One Spanish medallion could set me up for the rest of my life.”

She laughed. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

“As a heart attack,” he answered with mock seriousness until he couldn’t hide his grin, then amended, “Okay, maybe not
quite
that serious but hey, it could happen, right?”

“I suppose so. Well, even though you haven’t found treasure, this place is pretty damn cool.”

“I’m glad you agree, now let’s get this picnic started, shall we?”

“You read my mind,” she said, her heart light for the first time in weeks.
Julianna helped Miles spread the soft blanket and while Miles pulled out their food, Julianna settled herself on the blanket, happy as a clam.
This was so sweet of Miles
, she thought with a flash of tenderness. He was such a good catch. For someone. What would he think if she told him about her arrangement with Boston? She worried her bottom lip as the black thought threatened to steal her light mood. No, she wasn’t going to let anything ruin this moment. It wasn’t fair to Miles if she kept allowing Boston to intrude on her thoughts when he wasn’t welcome anyway. “What’s on the menu?” she asked.

“Well Madame, we have a selection of sliced turkey, cranberry, and cheese, along with cold quinoa salad with artichoke, cherry tomatoes and pesto, followed by fresh mango and banana with yogurt.”

“Boy, that’s pretty fancy,” Julianna said, impressed. “And here I thought it was just going to be salami, cheese and crackers.”

“Would that have worked?” he asked.

“Depends on what you were going for…” she replied coyly. Oh boy, she shouldn’t be flirting but she couldn’t quite help herself. He was so cute and he’d gone to so much effort for a knocked up girl he’d only just met…what could she say? It was sweet. And right now…she could use a little sweet in her life.

It was one thing to know you were playing with fire but quite another to actually welcome the flame. That’s pretty much what he was doing with
Julianna but he couldn’t quite help himself. Hadn’t she all but admitted that she was still in love with that jerk-off Boston? Yeah, but she was here with him and not the other guy so that was something, right?

“
Mmmm, that’s so good!” Julianna exclaimed around a big bite of her sandwich. “Geez, Miles, if you weren’t a doctor you’d definitely have a shot at doing something with food. This is almost…well, let’s just say, the pregnant woman who gets sick at the drop of a hat, approves. I don’t even feel the need to vomit. That’s a good sign.”

“High praise,” he said, enjoying her enthusiasm, trying not to
react too much to the fact that watching her eat was doing something to his groin area. “I will keep that under advisement in case this doctor gig doesn’t work out.”

She laughed and finished
her sandwich, moving onto the mango salad. “That’s what I love about the island, everything is so fresh. I never knew how delicious fruit could be. It’s better than candy.”

“When I first arrived on the island, I think I lived on fruit smoothies for at least a month. I couldn’t get enough of
them.”

“There are worse things to be addicted to,” she
said, popping another bite before sighing with open contentment. “That was so good. Definitely on the top of my list for best picnic ever.”

Miles tried not to put too much value on the innocent statement but he liked her too much to let it mean nothing. “You deserve days like this all the time,” he said quietly, realizing he was risking much by making such a statement.
When she didn’t immediately shut him down, he pressed a little harder. “You have to know that you deserve someone who would consider it an honor to make you smile everyday.”

“Miles…” but there was something in her voice that gave him hope. “There are things you don’t know…”

“I don’t care,” he said quickly, reaching out to gently pull her to him. She made a small sound but didn’t resist. “You’re a woman worth fighting for, Julianna…” and then he brushed his lips across hers in a gentle, tender kiss that immediately set him on fire but he wouldn’t stop for the world. She leaned into him and sweetly opened for him, her tongue hesitantly searching for his and he pushed her slowly to the blanket. He framed her face, nearly delirious with the mad rush of pleasure at having Julianna beneath him that he struggled to keep his pace slow and tender when he desperately wanted to touch every inch of her, taste every private spot and swallow every gasp that popped from her mouth. “Tell me to stop and I will,” he promised her even though the words sliced him to ribbons. He withdrew to stare into her eyes, waiting for her to push him away, but she didn’t.

“Why would you want me? I’m a mess,” she asked, wearing a mask of vulnerability that broke his heart. She swallowed and gazed into his eyes as if needing to hear his answer but afraid, too. “I mean
, I don’t know what I’m feeling right now. I don’t understand what I’m going through and how I’ll end up feeling by the end of everything. I don’t want to screw you over, Miles.”

“You can’t scare me that easily,” he said, brushing the pad of his thumb over her plump bottom lip. “Most times people complicate matters simply by overthinking things. How do you feel right now?”

“Uncertain,” she admitted, then added shyly, “But I liked your kiss.”

“Good,” he said with a slow smile, his
heart beating like a wild thing. “Because there’s plenty more where that came from.” He leaned in and took her mouth again, this time with more force and the tiny sound from the back of her throat was like gasoline on a flame. Within moments, he was pressed against her, his erection straining so hard he thought his skin might split but he was happier than he’d ever been. This felt right in every way. Did she feel the same? He was falling too hard, too fast for a woman who was likely going to break his heart. But he couldn’t stop. God help him, he couldn’t walk away when he should. If he were watching a friend do this very same thing, he’d shake his head and tell him he was losing his mind but none of that mattered. There was something so amazing and indefinable about Julianna that he didn’t want to examine how reckless he was being. And so he didn’t. “Julianna…” he murmured against her mouth, so ready to discover her intimate places but he didn’t want to press too hard or rush her into doing something she might regret, especially when she was so vulnerable right now, but good God, it was taking an act of Herculean strength to remember to go slowly. “You’re a treasure, you know that? You deserve the best in life and Boston isn’t going to provide it for you, it’s time to tell him to step aside so someone else can have the privilege of earning your love.”

“I don’t want to talk about Boston,” she said, shaking her head, pulling him closer and squeezing her eyes shut. “Just kiss me and be quiet.”

“What the lady wants, the lady gets,” he said and covered her mouth hard, letting his control slip just a bit, grinding his cock against her thigh, hungry for more. There was nothing but the two of them in this world, touching and exploring, giving in to their need to be loved by someone and for a moment it was possible to imagine this being their world — until Julianna slowly started to pull away, pushing at him to stop. He withdrew with a worried frown, his breathing harsh as he tried to slow his runaway heartbeat. “Everything okay?”

Sudden tears filled her eyes. “No,” she answered shaking her head. This isn’t going to happen, he realized as he gave her space. She scooted away and sat up, burying her head in her hands. “I’m so sorry. I’m such a shit for leading you on like this. I thought I could do this but I can’t. It feels…wrong. And it shouldn’t! Boston is a jerk and I hate him but I think I love him, too. And if I have sex with you, when I’m pregnant with Boston’s baby…the thought of it makes me feel dirty. I don’t know what it means to be a mom but I don’t think I should be sleeping around, even though I’m really attracted to you.”

He rocked back on his heels, trying not to sink too hard into his sharp disappointment. He’d always known this could happen but he’d hoped… “Don’t cry, Julianna. It’s okay. I told you I would be your friend if that’s what you needed me to be. You didn’t lead me on. You were honest in your feelings. It’s my fault for pushing it. Can we still be friends?” he asked.

“Are you sure you want to be my friend?” she asked. “It doesn’t seem like a good trade.”

“Being around you is worth it. I meant what I said. You deserve the best and if friendship is what you’re offering…I’ll take it. For now,” he said, but his tone turned serious as he added, “Because here’s what I know about men like Boston Kincaid…they never stick around for the long haul. I would love to spare you the heartache of being used and left behind but I respect your decision to try and make it work.”

“You don’t think he can change?”

“No.”

“Not even for a baby?”

“Babies are precious but they aren’t magical,” he said. “I’ve seen it too many times. Women think a baby is going to make their man magically turn into a different person. It works in fiction…not in real life.”

Her crestfallen expression tore at his heart but he wouldn’t give her false hope. He had absolutely no faith in the idea that Boston was capable of being the man
Julianna needed. And you know what? He was glad. He wasn’t going to lie — he wanted her for himself.

#

Was Miles right? Was she being stupid for clinging to a ridiculous hope that Boston might come to his senses and stop being such a domineering asshole? Why couldn’t she just let go of Boston and move on? Miles was so amazing — and a great kisser — so what was the problem? The problem was the whole time she was kissing Miles, she was thinking of Boston and there was no freaking way she was going to have sex with Miles when she couldn’t even enjoy kissing him without immediately comparing him to Boston.

She risked a look at Miles.
Such a good-looking guy. Why couldn’t she feel the same crazy flutters that she did when she was around Boston? A sigh rattled out of Julianna and Miles said, “It’s okay. I understand.”

“Stop being so understanding,” she said, breaking down. “This isn’t cool. I mean, you keep talking about how I deserve more but the fact of the matter is, you are the one who deserves better than what I can give you.”

“Bullshit. Stop talking like you’re second prize. Don’t you realize
you
are
the grand prize?”

She stared, shaking her head. What if
Miles knew? Should she chance it? She couldn’t even tell her own brother — whom she loved like crazy — about the deal she’d struck with Boston. “I’ve done some things I’m not proud of,” she started, unsure of what to share. “Really, really terrible things.”

“No one is a saint in this life,” he stated matter-of-fact and
Julianna wondered if Miles was the one person she could share with. He grasped her hand and squeezed it gently. “I’m here for you. All you have to do is trust me to keep your secret.”

“What if you hate me after I tell you?”

“Not possible.”

“Anything is possible.”

“Not in this regard. You might call me crazy but I feel something for you that is stronger than anything I’ve felt for anyone before. I have every reason to walk away from your situation but I simply can’t. Not unless you push me away and that’s the honest truth.”

“You’re too good, Miles,” she murmured, wiping away tears. “Too good.”

He lifted her chin with his finger to stare into her eyes. “I’m not perfect,” he warned, shaking his head. “Please don’t think that I am. Maybe the reason I’m so willing to see it through with you is because I sense a kindred spirit.”

She held his gaze and said in a clear voice that hid the tremble in her stomach, “I sold my virginity to Boston for an obscene amount of money and signed a contract that basically granted Boston access to my body until he tires of me.” She waited a heartbeat then asked, “What do you think of me now?”