Leverage (Part Three) (Billionaire Romance) (8 page)

“
Hey, don't mention it. Sometimes we fuck up. But the love of a good woman will always be what the doctor ordered.”

At the mention of
the word
doctor
, Boston scowled. “That reminds me there's a certain doctor who’s in the way.”

“I hate to break it to you but
it's your fault for leaving her wide open for someone to poach. You've got what it takes to win her back. So go do it. However, I'd shower first because you look like shit and you don't smell very good either.”

Boston laughed. “
I hear you. Can I use your shower?”

“Please do.”

Vince slid the key over to Boston. “Lock up when you're done. When you get things patched up with your girl, give me a call and we’ll do dinner or something. The wives love to have dinner parties. It's sort of their thing.”

Boston smiled, unable to believe how the universe had changed when he had
n’t been paying attention. But you know what, he kinda liked this new universe where the Buchanans were decent people. They'd always been friends but the Buchanans had always walked on the wild side — a little too wild at times.

Vince let himself out
while Boston finished his coffee. He had a lot of work to do. But nothing was going to stop him from doing it.

Like Vince said, time to man up and stop being a pussy.

Julianna closed her eyes to the warm sun and dug her toes into the powder-soft sand, desperate to find some kind of peace amidst the war zone of her mind. Miles had been so wonderful for the past few days, not only caring for her well-being but her emotional health, too, but she’d needed a break from everything and everyone. She appreciated Miles’ thoughtfulness but Boston was too stuck in her mind — and heart — to allow anything to blossom. Initially, her reluctance had seemed understandable as she’d been shell-shocked by everything that’d gone down but as the days wore on and nothing more than a friendly flutter had tickled her chest when she thought of Miles, she knew with a sinking heart that she couldn’t give Miles false hope that she’d ever feel anything more. Somehow, she’d have to find the way to break it to Miles and she wasn’t looking forward to that conversation.

“I thought I’d find you here.”

Lilah’s soft, friendly voice cut through her turbulent thoughts as she spread her towel beside Julianna as if they were besties, not that Julianna minded. She could use another girl’s perspective. She smiled in welcome and admitted, “I think this beach has magical properties because I always feel so much more centered when I just sit here and listen to the waves.”

“Oh, it totally has magic,”
Lilah agreed as if that were common knowledge. “My grandmother, who was a fish in another life, used to say that the water here was nothing short of total magic. Having a bad day? Go down to the water and splash around a bit. Mad at your husband, go for a long swim. Stuck in your own head, go wiggle your toes in the sand, which seems to be what you’ve already figured out,” she said, pointing at Julianna’s sandy toes.

“Yeah, I guess you’re grandmother was right.” She heaved a heavy sigh, wishing she knew what the right answer to her problems was.
Julianna looked to Lilah and wondered if the sprite islander had ever known a bad day in her life. On impulse she asked, “Was it always smooth sailing for you and your guy?”

Lilah
laughed. “Heck no. I left him when I was pregnant with our twins because his family —at the time — was atrocious and I suffered a real case of low self-esteem. Gosh, that seems like ages ago now.”

Julianna
stared, shocked. “Really? Wow. I didn’t expect that answer. I…wow.” She stopped a minute to digest the information. “But it worked out all right?”

“Yep.
But not without a lot of work and forgiveness on all sides. I was pretty stubborn and so was my husband but I’m so grateful neither of us bailed. Our life is pretty amazing, I’m not gonna lie.”

“I can imagine,”
Julianna murmured in agreement. How could living on a tropical island be any sort of tragedy? “How did you know that going forward with your husband was the right choice?”

“Because it was the only choice when I really thought about it. I’ve never loved anyone like I love Justin. He is my
soulmate for sure. But before you get the wrong idea, it’s not always seashells and boiled bananas. We argue, we get on each other’s nerves and sometimes we go to bed angry but none of that matters in the big scheme of things because we love each other more than anything we disagree about. I guess that’s what matters.”

Julianna
nodded, wishing she and Boston only had simple quibbles to argue about. Their entire foundation was built on sand and then when she’d tried to imagine living in that beautiful sand castle, the tide came in and washed it all away as a reminder that it’d never been built to last. Tears stung her eyes before she could push them down. Lilah rested a gentle hand on her shoulder and said with gentle conviction, “He loves you. He really does” which only served to break the dam open and Julianna could only sob openly. Lilah folded her into a hug and just held her while she cried.

“He doesn’t love me,”
Julianna said between watery hiccups. “He never did. And then he cheated on me just to drive the point home. I’m an inconvenience that he’s tired of and that’s all I’ll ever be. I was stupid to hope for more and now I’m stuck with him for the rest of my life.”

There was a frown in
Lilah’s voice as she said, “Well, I can’t say that I’m happy to hear that he cheated on you but men do things for convoluted reasons that they regret later. I’m willing to bet he really regrets hurting you.”

Julianna
drew away and wiped her nose with her towel, confused. “Why would you say that?”

“I guess because I saw the anguish in his eyes when he left the other day. He also threw down a lot of cash so that you don’t have to worry about staying for as long as you like.”

“He did?”

“Yeah. He also told me to call him if you need anything.
Night or day. Does that sound like the man who wants to be rid of you?”

It’s all for the baby,
Julianna realized, squashing the spark of hope the minute it sprang alive. “It’s because I’m carrying his baby. That’s all he cares about. Not me.”

“I don’t think so. I saw pure anguish in his eyes. He loves you. But maybe he doesn’t think he deserves you? I don’t know…I’m just throwing out my two cents. You know him better than I do but I know what I saw.”

Why would Boston crush her so cruelly if he truly did love her? “I don’t understand,” Julianna said, wishing she had the answers. “Why would he say what he said if he still cares about me?”

Lilah
sighed and dug her own toes into the sand. “Who knows what goes through a man’s head at any given moment. Sometimes they make such bonehead moves that they don’t even know how badly they’re digging themselves into a hole.” She brightened. “That’s why they need women — to save them from themselves.”

At that
Julianna smiled a little. “You’re pretty wise. How’d you get so smart?”

Lilah
sighed, the sound reflective. “Well, I grew up with a very wise grandmother and two sharp sisters. I picked up a few things here and there. And now that I’m a mom, I tend to see things more clearly.” She gestured to Julianna’s stomach. “That little precious bundle is going to change a lot of things for you. And for Boston, too.”

Julianna
allowed her gaze to drift to the subtle swell that most people would miss but she’d begun to notice. Soon enough, she would really start to show and there’d be no hiding the fact. Not that she wanted to hide it. Actually, she’d started to warm to the idea. A wash of tenderness followed as she remembered the tiny heartbeat fluttering inside her. “Do you want a boy or a girl?”

“I don’t care as long as it’s healthy,” she answered, smiling. “That’s enough for me.”

“How about Boston?”

Julianna
thought for a moment, then said, “He won’t care either. A healthy baby will be gift enough.”

“How far along are you?’”

“Ten weeks.”

“And everything is going well in the pregnancy?”

“Yeah, except for the constant nausea. I could do without that.”

“Oh, girl, try being pregnant with twins —
 twice the nausea, twice the weight gain.”

“But double the fun when they were born, right?”

Lilah grinned. “You could say that.”

Julianna
sighed, glad that Lilah chose to sit with her this morning. “Thanks, I appreciate the girl talk. I haven’t had someone to really talk to since everything happened with Boston.”

“I understand. I’m lucky in that I have my sisters, particularly my twin sister, Lindy, to talk to when I’m stressed out. It’s important to have someone you can lean on.”

“So Miles tells me that he knew Lindy back in Los Angeles? Can you tell me a bit about Miles?”

“Miles Lassiter…the man who tries desperately to heal a broken heart by falling in love with another woman who is not available…you mean that guy?”
Lilah teased, then sobered, saying, “Miles is a great guy but he has terrible radar when it comes to women.”

“Yeah, I’m starting to see that,”
Julianna agreed, glad she wasn’t the only one. “I don’t want to hurt him. He’s been my rock through this but I don’t feel that way about him and I know I have to tell him.”

“Be gentle, he’s a good guy, but you’re right it has to be done.”

She sighed, wishing for a different answer. “That’s kinda why I was down here. I was trying to think of a way to break the news.”

“Best way is to just do it. He’ll be okay. I think deep down, at some level, he knew you weren’t truly available. Miles is still searching for healing but until he realizes he’s not going to find it in the places he’s been looking, he’s bound to keep making the same mistake.”

“That’s very zen — and very true,” Julianna admitted with a chagrined laugh. “Man, you are so wise.”

Lilah
laughed. “No, just observant.”

Julianna
and Lilah let silence fill the space between them as they both enjoyed the gentle surf lapping at the shore and Julianna realized she might not have the answers to each of her problems but she felt a certain measure of peace about them. Well, at least she knew what the right course of action was with Miles.

Now, if only she could gain the same confidence concerning Boston.

“Do you love him?” Lilah asked suddenly, going straight to the heart of the matter.

“Yes,”
Julianna answered. “But I’m not happy about it.”

Lilah
nodded with understanding. “Then it must be true love.”

“Why is that?”

“Because true love never comes easily. Usually it leaves a few bumps and bruises before it settles into the right place.”

“Well, if that’s true, he’s my freaking
soulmate because I’m sporting more than a few bumps and bruises.”

“Probably so.”
Lilah waited a beat and then asked, “So what are you going to do about it?”

“Honestly? Nothing.
He walked away from me — and I’m sure as hell not going to chase him. If he truly wants me…he knows where to find me.”

The corners of
Lilah’s mouth tilted in a small smile as she said, “Let’s hope he comes to his senses soon and remembers where he left his heart.”

One could hope but then, hope
, she’d discovered was dangerous and she just didn’t know if she could take the chance.

#

Initially, Miles had been excited when Julianna asked him to stop by her bungalow but now that he was there, watching her fidget and pace, he knew whatever she had to tell him wasn’t good news. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what she wanted to tell him. “You’re going back to him, aren’t you?” he surmised, unable to keep the sour disappointment from his voice.

She stopped and when she answered with a short, “No” he breathed a sigh of relief until she added, “
But, I don’t want to be with you, either.”

“Oh.” He leaned on his thighs, wondering
why he hadn’t listened to his intuition about Julianna. “I see.”

Julianna
exhaled a short breath and said, “Listen, I’m going to cut to the chase because this is killing me. You are an amazing guy and a wonderful friend but I would be doing you a disservice if I let you think that there would ever be anything between us aside from friendship.”

“You don’t know that,” he protested. “Some of the most enduring love affairs have sprung from solid friendships.”

“I know you believe that but for me, that’s not how it works. Plus, my heart isn’t interested in letting anything spring from anywhere with anyone right now. And it’s really not fair of me to ask you to wait when there’s no guarantee that your gamble will pay off. I respect you too much for that.”

“But you’re not going back to him?” he asked.

“Do you see him here?” she asked, not exactly answering the question.

“And if he were?” he pressed.

“I don’t know,” she hedged, dancing around the truth but he could see it in her eyes. She loved him. He sighed and leaned back in the chair, shaking his head. Julianna sat opposite him. “Please don’t judge me. He’s the father of my child. And yes, I do love him. But my head and heart are a bit of a mess right now and I don’t know what to think anymore. All I know is I’m not going to chase him.”

“No, you’ll just sit here like a good little girl and wait.”

Her eyes flashed. “That’s not what I’m doing.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No, it isn’t. I’m taking this time to get my head on straight so that I can be a good mother.”

“
And if Boston showed up right this second, you wouldn’t jump into his arms and forgive him for every fucked up thing he’s done to you?”

“No I wouldn’t.”

“Forgive me if I don’t believe you.”

“I don’t care what you believe but it hurts that you would think so little of me.”

He sat up, exasperated. “Don’t you see? I feel the exact opposite. I think you deserve so much more than what he’s offering.”

“Miles, let’s be honest…you shouldn’t have fallen so quickly for me. The fact that you did makes me wonder if you know what you want and need or if you’re just running from something in your own heart. What was her name?”