Leverage (Part Three) (Billionaire Romance) (6 page)

Boston packed his things and checked out of the hotel. His flight was scheduled to leave in two hours. He had an hour to tie up loose ends and then get onto the ferry back to St. Thomas.

To consider
Julianna a loose end was further proof that he was drowning in a cesspool of his own making. But there was no turning back now. He’d set situations in motion that he couldn’t take back. Julianna would never forgive him, never take him back and he knew that to make her would be to ensure she hated his guts forever. Was he trying to earn her forgiveness? Hell, he couldn’t answer that question with any sort of confidence. He didn’t know what end was up anymore.

He entered
Larimar’s lobby and found the sweet Lilah manning the desk again and he forced a smile for her benefit because she was a nice woman and for some reason, he liked her. “Good evening, Mr. Kincaid,” she said brightly. “Staying with us for dinner? Cajun chicken is on the menu tonight and it is so good it’ll change your religion.”

He offered a brief smile but declined, saying, “I won’t be staying. Is
Julianna in?”

Lilah
bit her lip, then nodded slowly. “She returned awhile ago. She seemed sad. You guys should really try and work things out,” Lilah risked.

Boston didn’t respond, not because she ought to mind her own business but because his heart felt as if it were cracking in half and he didn’t trust his own voice at the moment. Instead, he accepted her advice and moved on toward
Julianna’s bungalow. He knocked twice and waited. Within minutes Julianna appeared, her gaze widening when she saw him. “Boston…what are you doing here?”

“May I come in?” he asked stiffly, preparing himself for a really shitty conversation. “I have a few things to say that I’d rather not say standing outside for anyone to hear.”

She nodded and stepped aside, closing the door behind him. Once inside, she crossed her arms and took a healthy step away from him, her gaze wary. “What do you want?”

Where to start? Boston hesitated, for the first time in his life he didn’t know what to say or rather, he knew what to say but he couldn’t quite get the words right in his head. He rubbed his mouth, immediately reminded of where his mouth had been a few short hours ago and he nearly choked on his own shame. “Listen, this just isn’t working out as I’d hoped,” he said, cutting right to the chase. “
Our business relationship is becoming more work than it’s worth,” the lie nearly cut off his own air supply but he had to get through this “and I’m ready to terminate.” She lifted her chin, remaining silent but her gaze dulled. When he realized she had nothing to say, he continued. “Listen, the situation has changed and we need to adjust. Of course, I will expect a relationship with my child but you are free from my employ.”

“So now instead of your whore, I’ll be your incubator?”

He narrowed his gaze, hating that her icy tone hurt so badly. “If that’s the way you’d prefer to look at it, fine. I will expect you to care for yourself and I will provide the means to do so. My lawyers will hash out an acceptable allowance and my company will provide excellent health benefits. Our correspondence will be limited to conversations regarding the offspring.”

Her lip curled with obvious disgust. “Offspring? It’s a baby! Say it.
Our child
. Not offspring, not progeny, our fucking child! We made a baby, Boston. Can you, for once, let your damn heart feel something for another human being? This baby is going to need a daddy, not a boss or a business partner.
A daddy
! Can you be a loving influence on our child, or not? I need to know or else I will fight you tooth and nail to keep you from it.”

“Then you will lose,” he told her. “I told you previously…no one will keep me from what’s mine. Since I no longer see any value in continuing our relationship, you are no longer my concern b
ut what you carry in your belly, I’d move heaven and earth to keep. Understand?”

She blinked back sudden tears, whispering, “I hate you, Boston Kincaid.”

“Good. It’s easier this way. No need for weeping and carrying on,” he said, hating himself and watching the scene unfold as if he were watching someone else completely derail his life but it had to be done. “I’ll expect updates on the pregnancy and when you reach your ninth month, I will expect you to move into my home so I can be there when you go into labor.”

Julianna
barked a short, incredulous laugh as she wiped her tears away. “Everything is at Boston’s convenience, isn’t it? Well, screw you. I’m not moving into your house when I’m nine months pregnant. When I go into labor, you’ll get a call.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“Too bad.”

“
Why are you doing this?” she asked. “Is it so hard for you to be a decent human being?”

Apparently
, he answered silently. He looked away, unable to hold her angry, hurt gaze a moment longer. “Julianna, I’m setting you free. Leave it at that. I’d thought you’d be ecstatic. You’ve been more than vocal in your feelings about me and frankly, I’ve tired of your shrill bitching.”

“I’ve never been shrill and you’re lying,” she said, calling him out. “You’re pushing me away for a reason.”

Boston startled but held his surprise in check. She could see through him. He desperately longed to throw himself at her feet and beg for her forgiveness but he couldn’t do it. His knees were locked and his mouth seamed shut. He turned a cold eye toward Julianna. “You overestimate my feelings for you, sweetheart,” he said. “The chase no longer thrills me and I have no need for a woman who isn’t readily willing and pliant in my bed. You, my little pet, are way too much work.” Unbidden his late father’s advice rang in his head,
nothing worth having, comes easily, son
, and he had to shake it off before he caved. But he couldn’t quite help the hunger that flared to life when she closed the distance between them. He could smell the warmth of her skin, baked to a golden glow in the Caribbean sun, and he stuffed down the urged to devour her, holding his hands at his side.

“Tell me you don’t love me,” she dared, almost desperately, so vulnerable he could die. She was so brave, so much more than he because he couldn’t admit what he should. One word and he could have it all. She was offering but he couldn’t accept.
Love
. God, that word. What did he know about love? All he knew was he sure as hell didn’t deserve Julianna’s.

“Don’t do this,” he warned in a hard tone, needing to push her away but he couldn’t, wouldn’t. “
Julianna…”

She looped her arms around him and
rose on her toes to press a soft kiss on his lips that sparked to life a raging need that keened like a wild thing in his breast. She said softly against his mouth, “Tell me you don’t want me, that you don’t need me. Tell me that you don’t love me and I’ll let you go and I’ll agree to your new terms but be careful what you say if you don’t mean it, because if you push me away…I’m never coming back.”

Don’t do it, Boston
…but suddenly, his arms were around her and he was hugging her so tightly, he was afraid of crushing her. “Julianna…” his voice cracked against his will and he shuddered as an emotion so strong threatened to drown him in a sea of longing and impossible want but if he’d been guilty of being selfish before, clinging to Julianna now after what he’d done, would be the epitome of selfishness and he couldn’t do it. But he would take one last kiss and savor it until he died.

Hoisting
Julianna into his arms, he savaged her mouth, so needing to feel her tongue against his, pouring everything he felt about her in his truest of hearts into his kiss. With a sweetness that went against every harsh word he’d ever uttered, he made love to her mouth, wishing he had the privilege of taking her to their bed every night, worshipping her body, not because he’d paid her but because she’d willfully graced him with the ownership of her heart and he knew this was the last time she’d offer herself so freely.
Oh God, Julianna. I’m so sorry. I fucked up. I love you. I love you. And I love our baby because it’s a magical creation made of you and me
and I’ll spend the rest of my life being the best father even if I can’t be who you need me to be
. Boston reverently framed her face as he reluctantly slowed their kisses, needing to let her go before he lost the ability to do so. He gently set her down, briefly basking in the beauty of her sleepy, love-drunk expression, knowing he was about to kill it.
Take a mental snapshot, Boston, ‘cause it’s never going to be for you again.

#

Wild hope sang in Julianna’s breast. She knew Boston had feelings for her but he was fighting them for some reason. If only she could break through that wall he was putting up. “We can start over,” she said, voicing her hope. “We started off wrong but we can fix that. Our baby is the start of everything good between us. We can be like a normal couple for once. I know you want me. I know you love me, Boston. Stop pushing me away and we can start fresh, I promise.”

But just as she sensed him wavering, his expression hardened and a cruel smile stretched his mouth as he laughed at her impassioned plea.
“We are not going to ride off into the sunset together, sweetheart. The future you’re hoping for doesn’t exist in my world. I’m a man who can have anything he wants and I never hesitate to take what I want. That goes against who you are as a person. We would never work out, little pet. Better to learn that now before things get far more messy.”

She blinked back stinging tears. Boston could turn on a person on a dime, like a viper.
Why did she even try?
Because you love him
. For better or worse, and lately it was definitely for the worse, she fucking loved the bastard.  “Stop it,” she demanded, glaring. “You’re doing this on purpose. Just stop being such a damn coward and admit that you love me, too!”

Something flitted across his features, something akin to pain, but it was gone in a flash and she almost thought she’d imagined it as he said, almost casually, “
Darlin’, this is getting tedious. I’d hoped to spare you the pain but the fact of the matter is, I’ve already fucked another woman and I’m ready to move on.”

Julianna
sucked in a tight, painful breath as her heart shattered and all she could do was stare in horrified silence. He’d fucked someone else? Already?
Jesus-H-Christ!
“You bastard,” she breathed once she found her voice again. “How could you?”

“Easily,” he said with a shrug. “Like I said, if I see something I want, I take it. You, of all people, should understand that.”

Pain unlike anything she’d ever known cascaded through her, slicing and ripping as it went, breaking and tearing as she fought the urge to bawl like a baby. “Get out,” she cried, her hands shaking as she gestured toward the door like a mad woman. “Get. The. Fuck. Out!”

He smirked and even though it seemed a bit forced,
Julianna had lost the fight to care. She’d held back with Miles because it’d felt wrong but it appeared she’d been noble for no reason because Boston was out screwing whatever twitched beneath his damn nose. “I hope your plane goes down,” she said as he went to the door. “I hope your plane goes down and you survive only long enough to be eaten by sharks.”

He
tsked. “Harsh, love. Harsh.”

“I hate you.”

His gaze hardened. “Good.” And then he tipped an imaginary hat and let himself out.

The minute the door closed behind him,
Julianna sank into the nearest chair and allowed the tears of her broken heart flow as she suffered the most intense sense of loss she’d ever known.

He’d never loved her.

She’d been a total fool.

And if she never saw Boston Kincaid again —
 it would be too soon.

#

Just keep walking, don’t stop. Boston couldn’t breathe. But he couldn’t stop. Had to keep putting one foot in front of the other. It had to be done. Julianna was better off this way. He was no good for her. A life with him was no life Julianna would enjoy. She’d get over him and they’d find a way to be good co-parents. Something so heart-rendingly awful screamed in his heart and he nearly fell to his knees as he reached the lobby. Lilah saw him and with a note of alarm, asked, “Are you okay?”

“I’m good, the humidity is getting to me
,” he said brusquely, pulling his wallet, he took a wad of cash and tossed it down onto the counter. “This should pay for another six months if she wants it. If she needs more, call me and I’ll see it done,” he said, adding his business card to the pile of cash. “If she ever needs anything — anything at all — call me. Night or day.”

“Don’t leave like this,”
Lilah said, frowning with sadness. “This isn’t the way to fix things.”

“I can’t stay,” he said, his voice breaking. “Can you do this for me?”

She nodded and accepted the cash with open reluctance, then scribbled her name and number on a small slip of paper and slid it to him. “Call me anytime and I’ll let you know how she’s doing.”

“That’s not necessary,” he said stiffly but his hand snaked out and took the number anyway. Curling the paper in his hand, he stuffed it into his pocket with a brief, “Thank you,” and then turned on his heel, nearly running from the place, his mistakes, and from
Julianna.