Lie of the Land (2 page)

Bad dream, probably. Everyone had them. Dreams of death, playing on a loop. Anyway, there was now food in his belly, and he felt like he needed something to wash it down.

Making his way through to the public bar he nudged a table, low to his left, and set something rocking on top of it. The ornament, or whatever it was, shook, but stayed upright, thank Christ.

And breathe again. Take it slow through another fire door, between the chairs and tables. Past the pool table, baize under his fingertips. He mustn't rush it. There was always the unexpected obstacle.

He reached the storeroom door. There were no windows here, so the moon couldn't light his way. Easy does it now, one slow foot-sliding step at a time. He edged to the back of the storeroom, knew which forgotten cardboard box to find, felt the edge of the cold metal filing cabinet, then down and along to the box. Flipping the flaps open he took out four bottles, one at a time, careful not to let them clink together. Carl put a bottle into each pocket of his dressing gown, carried the other two in one hand, by their necks, candle and saucer in the other hand. He was fully laden now, and there was no room for mistakes. Watch that table in the corridor. Mind the big brass bell. Ease open the fire door, hook it with a foot. Let it sink back nice and quiet. And whatever happens, don't bloody cough.

For the second night in a row Carl sat in Room 14, on the edge of his bed, four bottles of lime-green alcofizz inside him. He watched his palmpod's on-screen clock count the seconds, considered – then rejected – the idea of watching a certain personal video file.

Tomorrow he would have to endure real-time interaction with George and Simone. He'd put that off for long enough.

The booze he had just guzzled equated to less than two pints, but he was pissed nonetheless. Weight loss and illness had reduced his tolerance for alcohol. It was 2.37 a.m. He lurched over to the windowsill, unsteady on his feet. The fat bluebottle that only this morning had bounced and buzzed against the room's dormer window, in thrall to the light, was dead, stiff legs in the air. He had watched the fly pound the glass, unable to stop what it was doing. If only the fly had known the impossibility of breaking through the glass it might have stopped. It might have accepted imprisonment and fate, making no fuss about its situation and inevitable end in Room 14 of Inverlair Hotel. That would be the sensible thing to do.

Rolling into bed, he pulled the duvet around him and closed his eyes. He dreamed of a giant baby that cried all night and would never go to sleep. Being so big, the screaming kid was dangerous. It might roll over and crush the life he'd only just regained back out of him.

2

Brittle brown leaves swirled around the garden. Staring into space George stood, rake in hand. Wind ruffled his grey hair. It was cold today. Dry. His jacket was on but wasn't zipped up against the morning chill. George tried not to look at the carved oak bench nestling beneath the ivy-covered trellis at the bottom of the garden. Maybe he should store it in the shed now. The bench could do with a coat of wood stain anyway, and that's something he could never face doing.

It had been their bench; the two of them used to sit on it. In future there would be only him. Maybe he should stick the bench in the shed after all. No luck with the leaves today, too windy to rake them up.

He stood there, clutching the rake, as the dead leaves flew where the wind took them. Part of him wanted to smash the bench into pieces.

Unless George kept tight control, it would start in his stomach, the spasm of awareness, and from there it would engulf him. Pain and sadness would sweep him away, and he would crumble again. But remembering was so sweet, even as it made ashes of his heart. That was the thing he couldn't get right in his head: the sweetness of letting memory swim in his blood, and the nausea of grief that came with remembering her. He was frightened of remembering his wife, and just as frightened of forgetting her.

He examined the rake he held in his hands, looked towards the pine trees and the hills as if someone was there, in the distance, waiting for him.

What had he been doing? No luck with the leaves. Too windy to bother with them.

‘Dad!' Simone stood on the back step of the annexe, a cardboard box in her hands. George thought he heard a voice. He found himself staring at his daughter, and remembering laughter from long ago.

‘Come and see what I've found in the loft.'

Let the leaves swirl and leave the rubbish in the loft, girl. Nothing up there but dust.

George straightened his back. ‘What is it?' He put the rake back in the garden shed, in its proper place.

Simone came over, took a small paper sachet out of the box for her father to sniff; in the box there were many more: coffee, sugar, tiny cartons of milk and — holy of holies — about twenty cellophane mini-packs of biscuits, two in each. Shortbread, mainly, but there were a few custard creams.

George's face fell. ‘We ordered too much stock. Then the bookings dried up. It was before you came back.' He sniffed the coffee again. ‘We stopped putting them in the rooms after that.'

He dropped the sachet back in the box, bit hard on the memory. Can't keep that kind of pain in the fucking shed. ‘This should really be handed in to the committee,' he said, wiping his hands on his trousers.

‘It will,' said Simone, trying to catch her father's eye. ‘But I thought we could sit down and have a cup of coffee and a biscuit first. One each, that's all.'

She smiled. George nodded, touched his daughter's arm, and they went inside.

Stale. He figured the biscuit would be, but it was still satisfyingly sweet. George sipped his coffee, fingering crumbs on the tabletop. He thought about how he could broach the subject of the father-to-be who was lurking upstairs.

The oak bench would not be moved from its place.

•

That evening, Carl crept along the annexe hallway. The kitchen door was open and he could see the table laid for dinner, pots bubbling away on the stove; George was fussing over the food as Simone sat at the table, her son on her lap.

‘I can't fix the games visor, darling. I don't know why it's broken.'

But Isaac wasn't entirely convinced by his mother's lack of expertise. She had to fix it. The visor had to be fixed so he could play the game. Why couldn't she see that?

Carl coughed in the kitchen doorway, rubbing the stubble on his head self-consciously. The kid looked at him, open-mouthed, eyes wide.

Clothes too big. Shirt like a sack. Trousers belted on a skewered hole. Carl felt like shit and probably looked it too. Can't blame the kid for staring.

Standing at the kitchen door, he wasn't quite sure what to do. He shifted from foot to foot. ‘Smells good.'

Startled at first, George said hello and went back to his pots, ladling stew into bowls. Carl sat down at the table.

As he ate, he became conscious of the watchers and the silence. Maybe he shouldn't have made the effort to smarten himself up. He glanced round the table, carried on eating. ‘I'm still alive,' he stated. ‘I'm not the ghost at the feast, I hope.'

George sniffed. ‘I wouldn't call it a feast.'

Carl smiled. ‘Thanks.' He caught Simone's eye. ‘For everything.'

She nodded.

The boy had lost interest in his food. Isaac was silent, eyeing the skeletal stranger from upstairs who had appeared like magic, like the first time. Only back then lots of bad things had happened. Maybe he was going to make more bad things happen this time.

Carl slurped his stew, though he had no appreciation of what
he was eating, only a studied lifting of the spoon. He began to sweat, food and silent awkwardness going to work on him.

‘The
Aurora
was out the other day and came across a yacht, a big one,' said George, trying to ease the tension.

‘Yeah,' said Carl, the food dry in his mouth. ‘Simone said.' He took a sip of water.

George offered another forkful of food to Isaac, but the boy squirmed in his seat, lips clamped shut and eyes on Carl. George shook his head, exasperated. ‘You're far too old for this nonsense. Do we have any of those biscuits left?'

‘I don't know,' she said. ‘But I do know there is something sweet for boys who eat their dinner.'

George pressed the fork up to the boy's mouth. It could have been a shit-covered slug Isaac was being asked to eat, but, after a prolonged show of disgust, he accepted the piece of boiled carrot.

‘It's a pity about the yacht,' said Carl.

Isaac chewed another mouthful. Every time Carl spoke he felt pinned back by the boy's stare. Maybe the kid knows the truth.

‘A lot of gear on a boat that size,' agreed George. ‘She wasn't in sail, probably broke her moorings down the coast in the storm last week. But the tide took her into the redzone.'

The only two questions that mattered to Carl had been answered: the redzone was still there and Simone was still pregnant. Nothing else really mattered.

‘Too bad,' he said.

His mind blank, Carl ate quickly, desperate to leave the table. Isaac's unyielding scrutiny hastened his exit.

Stop staring at me, you little fucker, or I'll stick that fork in your fucking eye.

After dinner he made for the hotel's residents' lounge, where a fire burned beneath a grand hardwood mantelpiece. There was a massive portrait above the fireplace, of some bewigged gentleman of yore gleaming with brocade and buckles, a sword hanging by
his side. The guy had more or less founded Inverlair, back when war meant Napoleon. Captain Theodore Melkins looked very satisfied with himself, his military colours and stern smugness glowing above the mantelpiece. It's amazing how something as simple as processing potash from seaweed could make a man important enough to be preserved in oils.

Carl went over to the bookshelves. He pulled out a book on geology, and sat down by the fire.

He read: ‘The Moine Thrust is a linear geological feature in the Scottish Highlands which runs . . . extensive landscape of rolling hills over a metamorphic . . . Ben More Assynt (pictured) in the centre of the belt, is a typical example that rises from a glen of limestone caves . . .'

He recognised the picture in the book straight away. There was no mistaking it. Now he had a name to go with the unmistakable image of the mountain. Suddenly, as if a switch had been thrown, a hail shower machine-gunned against the high casement windows. Carl jumped at the sound of ice clattering on glass.

Fetching a dog-eared road atlas, he traced a path all the way up from Glasgow, along the edge of the Moine Thrust, until he found Ben More Assynt on the map. He recognised it from the drive up, a million years before, looming like something out of legend. Now he knew the mountain's name; maybe he'd climb it one day. Everything has an identity: a name and a purpose. Even hills. That was the rule. Surely there were still rules to obey.

Tectonics and the Moine Thrust were the reason for Ben More Assynt's existence. Shifts and faults and time: a combination that could produce innumerable consequences.

He pulled another book from the shelf:
Highland Animals
. Flicking though the pages he learned that adders are Britain's only poisonous snakes and are found throughout the Highlands.
Vipera berus
was sure to sink its fangs into him at some point. Perhaps its bite would prove fatal.

3

Thick cord rattled against the metal flagpole. Maybe another electrical storm was on its way.

Carl looked up at the gathering clouds, and wondered what would happen if lightning struck the viewpoint flagpole. Would an arc of current reach out and fry him?

No flag flew above Inverlair. Maybe the pole had never been used. But there were wooden picnic benches, flaking apart, below on the crumbling concrete platforms, and the concrete stairway that led to the viewpoint was overgrown with a gnarled prickly plant. It had yellow flowers: dollops of sunlight on stunted branches. Honeysuckle was yellow – he knew that, so maybe that's what the plant was. Surrounding the flagpole, at the highest point of the picnic site, was a waist-high concrete wall. Carl picked his way up the steps, his jeans snagging on inch-long thorns.

He was now facing inland and had a clear view of the whole village, the steel-grey length of Inverlair Bay, and the tops of the mountains beyond, to the south and east. The hills in the distance could be five miles away, or they could be fifty. It was impossible to tell. There was an interpretative weatherproofed plaque, angled like a lectern, set into the viewpoint's wall. Each mountain peak on the inland horizon was named, and the area's geology described. The plaque told him he was exactly 190 metres above sea level.

The wind whipped the flagpole's cord again. Carl turned up his collar against the cold breeze, read the rest of what was written on the plaque, then took the steps back down to the path that
eventually came out near the hotel's moss-covered car park. One old car – tyres flat, packed with junk – lay abandoned in a corner.

Almost a thousand metres of ice. That's what the plaque had said. Ten thousand years ago there would only have been the tops of the highest hills poking through, nothing but rock and scree and the grinding ice advance.

The path down to the hotel branched off and took him onto the north road, beyond the last house, where he could relax, the pressure of curious others falling away. He turned up the forestry track and headed inland, between blocks of tightly packed pine trees, up the boulder-strewn slopes of Ben Bronach. Two hundred metres up from the road, beyond the greying swarf of felled timber, an excavator-type digger stood, hydraulic arm poised. Yesterday he had seen it working, roaring, buzz-sawing, stripping and sectioning trunks into manageable lengths, each one processed in less than a minute. He walked the wide access track into the scented forest, climbing, then along a narrow trail, teasing out the contours of Ben Bronach, on a walk he knew too well.