Life as I Know It (16 page)

“It’s very kind of you to bring me flowers, but I think you should go. I’m sorry, Stephen, but we had this out two years ago. It didn’t work then and there’s no reason to think it would work now.”

He stared at me, his eyes flashing with anger, or hurt, I wasn’t sure which. What I was sure about was that I didn’t want Dan getting the wrong idea.

“You’ll regret this, Jessica.”

Looking at Stephen’s disgruntled face, the beginnings of light lines etched into his forehead, the hair just starting to show
gray around the edges, I realized for the first time just how much older than me he seemed. I’d been eighteen when I’d first started working for him and had seen him as a mature, attractive man. Thirty-two had seemed rather exciting and I’d admired and looked up to him. I suppose I’d been flattered that he had been interested in me, and I had to admit it had been convenient to forge a relationship with someone with whom I spent so much time. Now, in his early forties, he suddenly seemed old and tired.

Maybe it was the late hours he kept or the stress of the job, but I understood with sudden clarity that I felt nothing at all for him. And I wanted him out of my flat.

“I think you should leave,” I said shortly. Shutting the still-growling Frankie into the kitchen, I walked purposefully ahead of Stephen, showing him with no uncertainty to the front door, trying not to meet Dan’s speculative gaze on the way.

“Thank you for the flowers,” I said as I started to close the door behind him.

He paused on the threshold and tried to take my hand, but I pulled it away.

“Your loss,” he said, shaking his head. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“I’ll see you in the office on Monday morning. Bye, Stephen.”

I walked back to where Dan was perched on the edge of the sofa and sank down next to him, avoiding his eyes.

“Don’t tell me,” Dan said. “He was the guy you lived with for a while.”

“I don’t understand it,” I said, shaking my head. “It was over. We’ve worked together ever since and there’s been no problem. I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”

“He sensed a change in you, maybe,” Dan commented. “Perhaps he’s been perfectly happy seeing you every day, knowing
you’re on your own, not having to make an effort with you. Maybe he thought he still owned you, but without having the bother of commitment and an actual relationship.”

“Are you a shrink or something?” I asked with a laugh.

“No, but I can tell a jealous man when I see one. When he followed you into the kitchen he was marking his territory, making sure I knew he was something more than just your boss.”

“But you stayed.”

“I wasn’t going to give up on you that easily.”

“The weird thing is, we’ve only just met, you and I. You could easily have thought he meant something to me.”

“After that kiss? I don’t think so, Jessica. There’s something between us that I sensed the first time I saw you up on the Downs. You feel it too, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

He rested a hand lightly on top of both of mine, which were twisted together in my lap. His thumb strayed onto my knee, and I felt the heat begin to rise up in me again. I’d never experienced anything quite like the effect his touch had on me, and I turned sideways to face him as he sat beside me, my skin burning.

I knew he was going to kiss me again, and I closed my eyes in anticipation.

The touch of his lips was so light it was almost like experiencing a tiny electric shock. His lips moved softly over my face, hardly brushing my skin, moving from the corners of my mouth, across my cheekbones to the outer edges of my eyes. He kissed my forehead and my hair, until I thought my chest would explode with desire.

I opened my eyes and looked at him, and he smiled at me with a look of such desire that it simply took my breath away.

One hand still holding mine securely in my lap, he raised his free hand to my mouth and traced the outline of my lips with his fingertip, before traveling down my neck and coming to rest at the zipper of my jogging top. His eyes looked questioningly into mine, and I nodded infinitesimally, paralyzed by the glorious sensation of his touch.

Slowly, the zipper traveled downward, revealing my white lace bra, breasts rising and falling within as I struggled to catch my breath. He lowered his head to my cleavage and I felt his tongue flicker across my skin, sending prickles of delight up and down my spine.

He let go of my hands then, and used both his to ease the silver-gray top from my shoulders and down my arms, until it slipped away behind me. When he paused to shrug off his own jacket I reached across and unbuttoned his shirt, thrilling at the sight of his suntanned, well-muscled chest.

I reached back and unfastened my bra, and he slid it off deftly, lowering his face to my breasts as he did so. I closed my eyes and arched my back against the softness of his warm mouth.

I found the belt buckle of his trousers and undid it quickly, then I wriggled out of the rest of my clothing and dropped it to the floor. I could hardly believe what was happening to me. It had been more than two years since I’d slept with anyone, and it had never, ever been like this.

“Dan,” I gasped as he pressed me to him. I felt the warm skin of his chest, bare against my naked breasts as he lowered himself onto me. He was so hard and warm and strong, I thought I was going to burst with happiness. His lips found mine, firm this time, his tongue probing, searching. I opened myself to him and felt him inside me and I moved against him, rocking gently, our mingled perspiration glistening on his face and neck.

I clung to him as passion overtook us, and at some point later we made our way to the bedroom, where we lay giggling in each other’s arms before beginning all over again.

The afternoon light began to fade, casting a gray sheen over the room, and I risked a quick glance at the bedside clock. It was five o’clock. Teddy had thankfully slept through most of the night without disturbing me, and I was eternally grateful for small mercies.

We drew the covers up around us as the air began to cool, and as we lay entwined in the snug warmth of the duvet I stroked his shoulder and smiled into his eyes. “I’m glad I didn’t go to work today.”

“So am I,” he replied with a grin. “I think I can honestly say this is the best afternoon I have ever had.”

I leaned up on one elbow and studied him closely. “Really?”

“Well, it beats work any day,” he said, and I hit him over the head with my pillow as we fell back laughing.

I was lying comfortably
in the crook of Dan’s arm when I heard Frankie whine from the kitchen. She’d obviously gotten fed up with snoozing in her basket.

“Poor Frankie! She’s been shut up in there for hours.”

Grabbing up the duvet, I wrapped it around me and headed for the door, looking back at Dan’s naked form stretched out on my bed.

“I’d better let her in.”

“Yeah,” he said, swinging himself to the edge of the bed and getting to his feet. “And I’d better put some clothes on before I freeze to death.”

We had a quick meal of smoked salmon I took from the freezer together with some scrambled eggs, then sat on the sofa drinking tea, with Frankie lying across our legs.

“Frankie didn’t seem to care much for your boss,” Dan commented as he stroked the terrier’s ears.

“She doesn’t really know him. I bought her from a shelter
when I moved in here after moving out of Stephen’s flat. I thought she’d be good company, and I was right.”

“She’s a good girl. She behaved impeccably while she was staying with me on Saturday night.”

“Did your dog mind her being there?”

“Bessie? No, she loved the company. The two of them curled up in Bessie’s basket as if they were sisters.”

“Is Bessie a young dog?”

“She’s only two. Dad bought her for me, he thought she’d be company for me when I’m out and about on my travels.”

“What do you do for a living?”

“I own a company called ‘Brennan’s Bandits.’ I hire out slot machines to pubs and clubs. I have people working for me who service and empty them and that leaves me free to drum up new business. You could say I’m a kind of salesman, as I drive all over the country, though I’m hiring the machines out, of course, not actually selling them.”

“So you spend a lot of your time in the pub,” I said with a giggle. “And you’re with a girl who doesn’t drink.”

“Yeah, I noticed that,” he said, snuggling closer to me and nuzzling my neck. “You’ll be nice and cheap to date.”

I was about to exclaim indignantly when my eyes flickered over to the clock. Oh, no! It was half past seven already.

I looked at him anxiously, not sure what to say or do. It was obvious he was expecting to stay for the evening, if not the whole night, but soon I’d be needed elsewhere. I wondered how Grant was feeling this morning, or even if he was awake yet. The thought dawned on me that he might be in a bad way after the condition he’d been in the previous night. Suppose the children were awake with no one to supervise them?

I pictured the twins running amok while Nicole and Sophie tried to rouse first their father and then their mother without success.

“I’m really sorry, Dan, but there’s something I’ve got to do this evening.”

He stared at me in surprise. “Really?”

“Yes, I, er… I said I’d meet my friend Clara. We go to, um… a class in the evenings.”

“What sort of class is it?”

I glanced around the flat trying to think of a subject I might be interested enough in to do as an evening class. My eyes alighted on the row of potted plants on the high sill.

“It’s a gardening class. You know, learning when to put in spring bulbs, what to feed them with, that sort of thing.”

“Oh, right.”

He shifted Frankie’s weight off his legs and stood up, flexing his shoulders.

“Can I see you again tomorrow?”

“I’ll be out tomorrow evening as well.”

“I meant during the day.”

“Shouldn’t you be at work?”

“That’s the glory of owning the company,” he said with a shrug. “I can choose my own hours.” He looked at me with the faint stirrings of suspicion. “How often do you go to this class?”

“Er… it’s a bit flexible. It’s in someone’s house, so we go when it suits the teacher, usually late in the evening.”

Dan frowned, and I could see he didn’t entirely believe me. He shrugged again and picked up his jacket.

“If you’re sure you want to see me, I’ll come around again tomorrow lunchtime then. I assume you’re definitely not going to work?”

I knew he’d heard me tell Stephen I’d be back to work on Monday morning. He must be checking that I wasn’t just making excuses in case I didn’t want to see him again.

I stood up and went to him, putting my arms around his waist and resting my head on his shoulder.

“I had a wonderful day today,” I told him sincerely. “I’m at home again tomorrow on doctor’s orders, and I can’t think of anywhere I’d rather spend the afternoon than here with you.”

He smiled, presumably reassured, and kissed me, then headed to the door. He paused there and looked back. “I’ll see you tomorrow then. Enjoy your class.”

As soon as he had gone, I fetched Frankie’s lead and gave her a half-hour walk around the block. Back at the flat, I gave her supper, took a quick shower, brushed my teeth, and climbed back into the rumpled bed. It still smelled of Dan and me, and I smiled contentedly as I closed my eyes. I had been right about Dan from the moment I’d first set eyes on him. He was definitely something special.

Grant was being sick in the en suite bathroom when I hurried past the guest room door. I’d leapt out of bed the moment I’d opened my eyes, afraid of what the children might be getting up to, and had run down the long landing to look into their bedrooms.

All four of the children’s beds were empty. I stopped at the guest room door, listening to Lauren’s husband retching, and decided that at this moment he probably didn’t know or care where the children were.

Wrapping the silk negligee closely around my waist, I hurried downstairs, noticing how quiet the house was. The kitchen door was open, dirty cereal bowls lying on the countertop. Sophie must have given the boys their breakfast, I thought, as I crossed quickly to the playroom.

Nicole and Toby were slumped on the couch watching morning TV. Teddy was lounging on a beanbag holding his ball and staring into space, mouthing silently to himself. He was still in his pajamas, the trousers drooping with the weight of the large nappy he had to wear to bed.

“Where’s Sophie?” I asked from the doorway.

Nicole and Toby both glanced up, slowly registering my presence. Teddy continued to stare into space and chant wordlessly.

“She went to see her rabbit,” Nicole replied. “I wanted to go see Ginny, but bossy-boots Sophie said it was too cold out there.”

“Did she take a coat?”

Nicole shrugged, her attention returning to the television set.

Hurrying back upstairs, I peered out of my bedroom window, where a light frost had powdered the grass and bushes white, but as I had promised Grant, the animals weren’t visible from the house. Worrying that Sophie had gone out alone and that she might be cold, I grabbed a casual tan overcoat from Lauren’s wardrobe, slipped it over the negligee, being careful not to snag my bandaged shoulder, and went back downstairs.

The utility room door was ajar, letting in an icy blast, and I closed it behind me as I set off briskly down the garden in a pair of ankle boots. To my relief I found Sophie sitting in the gardener’s shed, wrapped in a thick sweater with her rabbit nestled in her arms. She looked up as I opened the door and I perched on the upturned crate next to her.

“How is she?” I asked, reaching out and stroking the rabbit’s silky back.

“I thought she might be cold,” Sophie explained. “Do you think we could move the hutch in here?”

I nodded. “I think that’s an excellent idea. I hadn’t realized it was going to get so cold so quickly. We could shift all the tools to this side then I think the hutch would fit along that wall. Maybe we could get some sort of table or bench to stand it on to keep it off the floor.”