Life Without Hope (33 page)

crackled and she sucked on the devil’s dick and her eyes grew large.

Once she filled her lungs, she began to get animated. She leaned

for ward and whistled, placing her hand above her head as if she

was shading her eyes from the sun, looking at me from a long dis-

tance, she tapped her feet and blew out a cloud of smoke in my

face. “Ooh wee! Dis be that good shit!” she exclaimed and began

to smack her lips like she was trying to get her tongue unglued

from the roof of her mouth.

“
Give me a plate,” I said smiling like a father who just learned

that his wife delivered a healthy baby boy. Having a good product

is the ultimate form of power when a hustler is trying to seize the

reigns of power on the streets.

“
I’ma get you some customers,” Nina said like super woman.

She now had a jerky movement about her.

“
Hold up.” I instr ucted her to bring the customers to the back

door and to make sure she told them I ain’t got no weight. She

nodded her head and took off out the back door like the place was

on fire. I took my gun out placing it on the table and opened up

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the pack of razors and began to break down some dimes. Nina was

back sooner than I expected, and true to her word, with her were

some customers. I served dope out of her back door. The time

went by fast. I looked at my watch, it was 3:21 in the morning.

The nighttime is the most dangerous time to serve stones. In fact,

most successful hustlers won’t do it. Too much risk. Even cowards

get courage in the dark. However, at nighttime the money triples,

just like the risk. As soon as Nina saw the size of the rocks I was

serving, she tripped.

“
Hell naw! Dems too damn big. What is this, a fifty dollar

rack?” she asked, dead serious. I cut up sixteen hundred out of an

ounce, but I forgot in a cocaine drought, a basehead will buy just

about anything to smoke.

“
Give them here. Lemme sell them,” she demanded.

“
Girl I want sixteen off this bomb,” I said and passed her an

ounce. I sat right there and watched her sell some of them little ass

rocks for fifty and if a person only had eight dollars, she would

take that too. I peeped what she was doing, selling half and keep-

ing half. I looked out the window, cars were lined up and a few

prostitutes lounged around. Everywhere I looked, I saw people. It

was easy to tell I was the only nigga in town with a package. The

next ounce I cut up smaller, a lot smaller. Nina started smoking

again.

She walked in and asked to see the size of the rocks. I showed

them to her. “You catch on fast,” was all she said and then asked

to use my cigarette lighter. Reluctantly, I gave it to her, knowing I

would never see it again. Junkies could take a cigarette lighter

apart and make a flame thrower out of it. She walked back into

her room. I knew that was all the work I was going to get out of

her for the night, but it was all good, her place was a gold mine.

The money was starting to come so fast I couldn’t count it all at

times. Suddenly, she ran back into the room and slid across the

floor, damn near falling. With her eyes bulging out of her head,

panic stricken, she shrieked, “Don’t open the door! Don’t open the

door!”

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“
WHAT?” I asked incredulously, hoping she wasn’t starting to

trip off the dope.

“
Jackie Boy and T-Bone!” she exhorted. “ They on their way

around back. They gon’ rob us. That’s all they do is rob niggas!”

Nina said, horrified. I watched as she then hid her money under

the sink in a pot. There was a knock at the door. Nina whispered,

“
Don’t open it.” I yanked her arm so hard her neck snapped. “Just

do as I say!” she pleaded.

“
Them niggas ain’t going to fuck with us. Who is it?” I asked

with enough base in my voice to scare a small child. Nina cringed.

A voice returned.

“
T-Bone.”

“
Go ‘round the front.”

I knew this was it. I had a feeling that Stevey D may have sent

them. Now came the risk. I grabbed my gun off the table as the

candles flickered our shadow on the wall, like ghosts dancing in a

gloom of a murderous reality. Tomorrow ain’t promised to no one,

not even a gangster in town with the odds stacked against him.

“
I’ma scare ‘em,” I said. “Go blow out all the candles in the

house. As soon as they come in I want to you to stand on the other

side of the room, in the opposite direction from me. Count to ten

and stomp your feet as loud as you can, and get the fuck out the

room.

“
Nigga, you crazy fo-real!” she said with the confidence of a

woman that just had her greatest fears confirmed. What she did

not understand was I had no choice in the confrontation. It was

as imminent as life itself–power only concedes to counter-power

when tested. These niggas had come to test me. There was little

doubt in my mind that Stevey D was behind this. The only good

part was cats in this town had to already know of my early record

of putting them hot balls in a nigga’s ass.

Reluctantly, Nina Brown answered the door as I instr ucted

her. From the corner of the room, hidden in the darkness, I

watched the silhouette of two figures enter the room. They both

wore large coats. Nina closed the door. Complete darkness. I

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heard feet shuffling. A frantic voice called out, “Nina cut on some

fuckin’ lights!”

“
Yeah, what can I do for ya playa?” I said.

“
Cut on the fuckin’ lights man!” an agitated voice sounded.

More feet shuffling with the sound of ruffling clothes.

Click …

click …

a cigarette lighter flickered. I cocked the hammer on Jesus

and the sound resonated in the darkness.

“
Nigga cut dat muthafuckin’ light out!” I barked. The light

died, along with any hope of their plan of robbery. I was aware

that they pulled out their straps pointing in the direction that they

heard my voice coming from. When Nina stomped her feet, it

scared the hell out of me, too. I heard guns being cocked. It damn

sure wasn’t mine that time. I crouched down as low as I could to

the floor and headed to the kitchen door. I was certain there was

going to be some gunplay. I heard someone fiddling with the

door, and then it flew open, clanging against the wall. The light

from the street lamps sliced through the darkness as I watched the

two figures scurry out of the house falling on each other. To my

surprise, Nina followed suit. She reminded me of one of them lit-

tle dogs that ain’t going to do shit but yap.

“
What the hell ya’ll want anyway Jackie Boy? Don’t be bringin’

that bullshit around my house!” she scolded while walking up

behind them.

“
Tell him to come out here, we just want to talk wit him,” I

heard one of them say.

I walked to the door, gun in hand, making sure they saw Jesus.

He normally has an instant effect on people’s minds.

“
Look my nigga, I’m just tying to get a toe hole, I ain’t got

nothin’ but smokin’ dimes.” For the first time they looked in my

eyes, nodded their heads in agreement, and walked away. I knew

that the two of them were going to be a problem, I could feel it in

my gut. Call it a gangster’s intuition, but I felt it. Just then, three

people came up complaining to Nina that they had been banging

at the back door. They wanted some stones. I turned to walk back

in the house. The Narcotic Taskforce car rolled through, four

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deep, looking out of the car window. With them is the telepathic

message that they are watching me. Them white boys sent a shiv-

er through my spine, a signal that I had to be very careful and

watch out for the jackman and the policeman. The ironic part

was, a dope fiend is cleverer than both of them put together, so I

had to watch for them, too.

*****

I ser ved out of Nina’s house until the crack of dawn. When the

sun started to rise I knew it was time to bounce. The whole time

I thought about Trina waiting back at the hotel for me. She was

going to be pissed. This was one of my greatest rewards–coming

back pockets phat like they got the mumps. I had money in my

drawers, socks and all my pockets. Twenty-two stacks, not bad for

one night of hustling. Throughout the night, Nina and her elite

friends of basers were in the back room of hers having the great

smoke out. I was down to my last few stones. My body felt

fatigued, my back hurt from bending over serving and my clothes

stunk from the awful smell of crack smoke. I was about to call it

a day and gave Nina the last of the rocks I had in a bag, about a

hundred dollars worth, when I heard a soft knock at the door. I

opened it, and there stood the cutest little girl I had ever seen in

my life. She was dark as coal, with enchanting almond eyes that

seemed to sparkle. I stared, mentally stung, mouth agape. I could-

n’t take my eyes off of her. Didn’t want to either. Something about

her held me spellbound. Then it dawned on me. Uncannily, she

looked familiar. She looked like Hope! Holy shit! The crack smoke

was starting to make me hallucinate. She smiled up at me batting

her long pretty eyelashes, wringing her hands together as she

danced her leg nervously. I was prepared to dig in my pocket to

give her some money. As cute and young as she was I just knew

she was selling Girl Scout cookies or something. My eyes trailed

her body until I saw the swell of her belly. Like a basketball, she

was ready to drop a load. Looked like she was about fifteen

months pregnant under that dir ty coat. I guessed her age to be no

more than 12 years old.

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“
I don’t have any money, but I’ll do whatever you want for a

rock,” she said. I felt my legs wobble as I grabbed hold of the

doorframe for support. “I’ll suck your dick.” I felt my knees damn

near buckle.

From somewhere I did not know existed, I heard a voice

groan, “NOOOO!!” as her little hand reached out to grab my

shirt. I wanted to scream at her and ask where her family was,

especially her mama, but Nina’s voice broke my thoughts.

“
Black Pearl, whatcha doin’ out there? I thought you was still

in the hospital.”

“
I left. I got tired of them people sticking needles and stuff all

in me. Gurl, give me a bump. I need something to smoke,” the lit-

tle girl known as Black Pearl said. She tried to push past me. I

quickly seized her arm, spun her around. She looked up at me, a

face of youthful innocence.

“
Nina what the fuck you doin’? You see this damn girl is preg-