Life Without Hope (43 page)

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and we both knew it. Opening the door she turned and called my

name.

“
L.”

“
What?” I answered disgruntled.

“
Nigga I loved you with everything I had. We had the Bonnie

and Clyde chemistry but not enough for me to do a lifetime in

prison for you.” She began to cry from deep within. “I tried to tell

Big Mike the same thing, like you, he wouldn’t stop.” Trina wiped

her face with the back of her hand and for some reason smiled at

me through her tears. “You were a better hustler than Mike. You

knew how to listen to me.” Then she added, “A better lover, too.

Bye.” She mouthed the word with no sound and closed the door

on our lives forever.

*****

That night I was awakened in the still of darkness by a soft rap

on my bedroom door. My entire body was covered in perspiration

and blood had soaked through my bandages. I tried to move from

the fetal position I was sleeping in. “Oooh, oooh!” I shrieked in

pain. That AK had torn chunks of flesh from my body and now I

was feeling it big time. The medication that they gave me had

finally worn off.

“
Come ... in,” I groaned.

The door opened and the silhouette of a woman appeared. In

the backdrop of the hallway a luminous light shined making it

hard for me to see who it was.

“
Trina! Trina? I need a doctor. I’m fucked up bad!” I croaked.

No answer.

The feminine figure approached me, slowly sashayed and

turned the wrong switch on the wall panel causing the surround

sound system to my stereo to come on. Keith Sweat’s song with

the girl group, Kut Klose “Get Up On It” filled the room. An

exotic light shinned. She walked up to me, close. Wiped at the

sweat on my brow affectionately and cooed in my ear. “Poor baby,

let me help you,” she said in a sultry voice and licked my earlobe.

Instantly I recognized that voice. It was the lesbian Tomica,

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Evette’s lover. At that very moment I tried to shake the wary cob-

webs from my head, but with it came the relentless pain. Too

much pain no human being should ever have to endure.

“
How ... did ... you ... get in here?” I asked.

“
Major let me in sweetie,” she said and held a white Walgreen’s

drug store bag in front of my face.

“
I’m gonna take care of you.”

“
Where is Trina at?” I asked, my voice sounding like a small

child. Pain can make a man talk that way.

“
You don’t need that bitch! That’s why I’m here to warn you.

She wanted us to help set you up with the feds so she could get

Big Mike out of prison. Evette and I turned her down. Trina got

scared and left town.”

“
WHAAAAAT!” I screeched. “What about Pearl –”

“
Shhhh,” Tomica interrupted as she placed her index finger

over my mouth.

“
First thing’s, first. Now baby, relax and let me make you feel

betta,” she said seductively.

My mind was boxed in with dilemmas that ran the length of

my confused brain. The only thing that was for certain was that

my world, as I once knew it, was crumbling around me. My nigga

Dirty was dead along with Lil Man. I couldn’t help but wonder,

why would Trina turn me in and where in the fuck was Blazack at?

Tomica removed all my clothes and bathed me with a soft

sponge, as she grimaced at the horror of my scars. At the time I

was in so much pain I honestly thought I was going to die.

Suddenly Tomica stopped and removed her blouse and then

her bra. The lights played off the sensuous cur ves of her body. She

watched my reaction. I could tell it was not what she had been

expecting. The very last thing in the world I wanted was some sex.

She reached inside her purse and removed a small white pack-

age of a powder y substance and dug her long fingernail into it.

“
Here, snort this, it will make you feel betta.”

“
What is it?”

“
The same thing they gave you at the hospital, only this is

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purer. China White,” she said and watched me as she held it up

close to my nose. Probably the same way Eve did Adam with the

apple. “This will make you feel betta, handle your business, get

you out of bed, no mo’ pain. Take it!” she cajoled. With all the

pain I was in I would have snorted horse shit if someone would

have told me it would make me feel better.

I snorted from the tip of her finger as she smiled down at me,

in a strange kind of satisfaction. Before I could hardly inhale she

shoveled another toot into my other nostril. Within moments I

was overcome with a pleasant euphoria that sent me sailing out of

space on cloud nine. The pain instantly vanished. I was high as a

muthafucka.

So this was the world of China White,

I thought as

Tomica got me high on my own supply. Dope she had been steal-

ing from me for years.

With half lidded eyes, dreamily I smiled up at her. Watched

with the amusement as she began to take off her skirt and then

wiggled out of her panties like some exotic snake shedding its skin.

She stood in front of me completely naked. Pubes of silky black

hair cascaded down her brown thighs. My manhood stood up

with enormous invigoration. Like a long pole, it waved at her. I

could feel my body experiencing a sensation I had never felt

before. The swells of her supple breasts came into view. Her erect

nipples were tiny like luscious strawberries, hardening into fine

points that complimented the symmetry of her hour glass figure.

Tomica’s body was bodacious in all the right places. She reached

out and grabbed my joint with both her hands, it twitched and

throbbed pulsating in the palm of her hands as precum glistened

from the head like a volcano about to er upt.

My body was on fire, I wanted to fuck this lesbian. She smiled

at me devilishly, sensing my wanton lust. Tomica dropped to her

knees and began to feverishly wax my pole with the palms of her

hands causing my toes to curl as my back arched to meet her. She

bit down on her lip with a purposeful scowl, that of a seductress

determined to get what she came for. Slowly ... slowly ... she took

me into her mouth and gobbled me up as best she could with my

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great length and size. “Oh, shit! Oh, shit!” I moaned in ecstasy

fighting the urge not to close my eyes. I wanted to see what the

lesbian could do with all this dick. I whispered her name, caressed

her head as her lips skillfully moved up and down, up and down

the long sleek surface of my manhood. To my amazement she had

me all the way in the back of her throat. Once or twice she gagged,

but never missed a rhythm, bobbing her head up and down, deep

throating me like it was art practiced by many but understood by

few. Tomica made loud slurping sound as she sucked greedily,

without coming up for air. Each woman’s intimacy of love making

is in essence a part of her vir tuosity. An identity given like a

birthright that makes each woman unique in her own right.

Finally, I exploded deep in her mouth, down her throat. I took

hold of her head forcing myself deeper in her mouth. She looked

up at me without panic and swallowed every last drop and licked

her lips.

After ward, I sat up in bed with the feeling of a man that has

just been resurrected from the dead. Tomica stood a few feet in

front of me. My dick was still hard and throbbing. I could see her

clitoris through the mounds of her hair y bush as she stood, long

legs parted. I reached out and took one of her strawberry nipples

between my thumb and index finger and pinched it, hard.

“
Ouch!” she whined. With my other hand, I reached between

her legs and stroked her kitten, made her purr for me until she

started to hump my hand. I stuck my finger inside her moist

opening. She was tight. The kind of tight that came from not hav-

ing sex with a man in a long time. I pulled her to me, she gasped.

I could smell the humid scent of her sex. With a deft finger I

began to stroke her faster, roughly. She cried out in pain. I sucked

on her nipples and she tried to push my head down. I was high,

but not high enough to eat her pussy. Soon her juices dripped

from my fingers. I stood and she looked up at me in shock, tried

to read my mind. I spun her around and bent her over the bed.

Tomica had a beautiful Black woman’s ass, round and fat with a

slim waistline of a model. I spread her butt cheeks with my hands.

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As I entered her, I thought of one of the verses from the Bible my

Dad use to say in church, “It was easier for a camel to go through

the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to enter heaven.”

Tr ying to get my dick into Tomica was like going through the

eye of a needle. Painful! She began to buck and resist, at one point

she even tried to fight me. I enjoyed every moment of it. Finally

she gave in, and it was easy, long strokes from the back. I ignored

her crying sobs and enjoyed one of my dreams, to punish that ass,

the bull dagger that was stealing my shit and was known to have

a slick mouth from time to time. Then suddenly the dope started

to talk to me. Some of the world’s smoothest hustlers have been

dope fiends.

Something about this bitch ain’t right. Don’t trust her,

L!

It was then that I started pounding away inside her body. She

screamed. The dope was making me crazy. She continued to beg

for me to stop. I couldn’t stop if I wanted to. It was all hard and

brutal on her. After about an hour and a half of marathon fucking

with a malodorous funk to match, I finally took it to the hilt,

grabbed her hips and the sides of her ass, spread her cheeks as far

as I could, and with one hard and long thrust, I exploded a shat-

tering climax deep within her. With the last drop of my semen

deposited in her, I pulled out and watched as it ran down her

inner thighs. I looked down at my dick and to my utter shock,

there was blood on me.

“
Are you on your period?”

“
No, but you hurt me.” She looked back at me and tried to

smile. She looked like a sad clown with her mascara all ruined

from the tears she shed. I wiped at the dribble of saliva that had

started to form at the corners of my mouth. The dope had me

drooling.

“
With Trina gone, I’ma be your number one,” she said like she

was asking for confirmation if she had passed the dick test.

“
Number one what?” I asked incredulously.

“
Lady,” she replied as she wiped her swollen clitoris with a

towel, I noticed the blood in it. She made a face at me.