Life Without Hope (42 page)

“
L, Pearl is down the hall in a coma. I hope your ass is happy,”

she said and began to cry, the tears streaked her cheeks.

“
Somebody robbed Gucci’s trap last night, and kilt his twins,”

said Lieutenant.

He managed to get away by jumping out the window and

crawling under a car.”

“
He jumped out the third floor window?!” I yelled and tried

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to raise my head in disbelief, as pain ricocheted throughout my

body.

“
Where in the fuck was Blazack at!?” I yelled at Twine.

“
I dunno.”

Lucky for me, I had only been hit three times, mostly flesh

wounds, one in the ass and thigh. The most serious injury was to

my shoulder. A short Chinese doctor entered the room followed

by two huge burly white cops that looked like linebackers for the

Pittsburgh Steelers.

“
My name is Doctor Wong,” the doctor said, his voice was

laced with a heavy foreign accent. He glanced at the clipboard in

his hands. “Your injuries are ver y serious. We’re going to have to

operate to repair your shoulder.”

As the doctor talked, I tried to listen, but like the rest of us in

the room, I couldn’t help but focus most of my attention on the

two cops. Finally, the doctor said the police wanted to talk to me.

With that he bowed his head slightly and left the room.

“
Mr. Leonard Smith?” The plain-clothes detective asked as he

took a step toward me. His skin was pale white, eyes were pierc-

ing and he wore an expensive suit. Everything about him told me

that I’d had better be careful of what I said.

“
Yes, I’m Leonard Smith,” I said, acknowledging my fake

name.

“
I’m investigating the homicide and attempted murder of

three year old Shawn L. Bell and his mother Annie Bell.”

He was talking about Lil Man and Black Pearl. If I could, I

would have bolted from the room, from that place that I had cre-

ated, my own man made hell, from the grim reality of what was

happening to me. The detective turned to Twine and Trina and

asked, “Do you mind if we speak to him alone?” All I heard was

the scuffle of chairs moving and feet shuffling distancing them-

selves from me. Twine and Trina hauled ass out of that room!

The two detectives played cat and mouse with me for nearly

an hour. I adamantly continued to tell them that I did not know

what happened. They let me know of their suspicions and prom-

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ised to come back and arrest me once they found out I was lying.

They knew that I lived in Quincy at the Chateau G.P., that told

me a lot, the spot was getting hot.

*****

Later on that night I got into a wheelchair and strolled down

to Black Pearl’s room. She was connected to so many wires and

contraptions. An episodic beep chimed in tune with wavy lines,

her lifelines. She wasn’t even breathing on her own. I fought to

restrain my emotions as I looked at her beautiful face and saw Lil

Man’s eyes. I would have given anything in the world to have both

of them back. What kind of monster could do such a thing?

Blazack’s face flashed in my mind.

Ain’t no longevity in the dope

game, stick and move, get out within a year

. I thought about what

Trina first warned me about that night in the hotel when we first

met. And now, for the past year or so, she had been begging me to

get out, and now ...

After I left Pearl’s room, I called the Chateau and told Major

to come and get me. Later on that day to the disagreement of the

entire hospital staff, I checked out of the hospital on crutches.

I was a sight to behold with all the stitches and bandages; I

could make a mummy jealous.

The first stop we made was to the liquor store. The whole time

Major just looked at me like I was crazy, but he kept his fucking

mouth shut. He too didn’t agree with me leaving the hospital in

my condition, but he also knew what was on my mind–187, mur-

der!

As he drove I was in agony. The pain was excruciating. A few

times I almost fainted. I rode in the car in a very awkward posi-

tion due to the gun shot wounds in my ass and hip, all on the

same side. Blood was starting to soak through my shirt from

where my shoulder was nearly torn off. The liquor helped a lot,

but not nearly enough.

I had Major drive to the house that I first rented for the crew

back in the day. Now it was nothing more then a stash spot or a

place to cut, get laid.

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Dirty’s brand new BMW was parked in the front yard. I sent

Major inside to ask about Blazack’s whereabouts.

I watched as Major walked inside. Someone left the door ajar.

Moments later Major reappeared, r unning like he was being

chased by the devil himself. He got back into the car, his words

inaudible.

“
W-W-We gotta get the hell outta here. Dirty and some broad

are in there dead as a muthafucka!”

“
Are you sure?” I asked grabbing his arm and wincing in pain.

Major turned and looked at me the way people do when they’re

being annoyed.

“
Look, I did a tour of Vietnam, I done seen mo’ dead mutha-

fuckas than you have seen livin’!” Major had the old Caddy in

reverse burning rubber out the driveway.

“
You bring my pistol wit cha?” I asked as suddenly the image

of the black SUV and armed gunmen jumping out flashed before

my mind. Major reached underneath the seat and passed me Jesus.

I took a long swig from the bottle of Hennessy and asked Major

if Blazack owned a black SUV. Major thought for a second and

then answered yes. He turned and looked me directly in my eyes

and asked if I thought Blazack had something to do with it. I did-

n’t answer, just took another long swig from the bottle and

caressed Jesus in the palm of my hand praying that I would have

enough strength when the time came.

As we approached my estate, the same yellow van that Major

had expressed suspicion to me a few days ago was still parked

across from my security gates. The guy wore dark shades. I

thought that it was odd for a man that worked out in the sun to

have skin as white as chalk. As we passed, I could have sworn he

looked at me and smiled.

Major had to nearly carry me inside, I could hardly walk. At

the top of the stairs Trina stood stately, poised as if she had been

waiting for me. The way that she looked down at my pathetic

body was humiliating for me. She wore a long gown with a revel-

ing split up the front. Her right hand was posed with a Black and

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Mild cigar smoldering. As soon as she spoke I knew that she had

been drinking heavily.

“
I’m leavin’ you, BITCH!” she cursed, slurring her words mis-

erably. Wobbling she began to walk down the stairs, one step at a

time.

Major gave me a knowing look. “I’m going to check the

grounds, make sure that everything is aight.” With that he left.

“
You fucked it up! What you thought you was Scarface or

some shit, L? We had it all, money, clothes and fine cars. Five or

ten millions dollars wasn’t enough for you?”

I raised my hand to slap the cowboy shit out of her. Once

again, I had underestimated her and before I knew it, Trina

reached into her bra and pulled out a small pistol and fired at my

head.

“
You put yo muthafuckin’ hands on me and I swear to God,

I’ma send you to your grave next to your dead-ass Mammy,” she

said coldly with the gun still aimed at my head.

“
Girl, what da fuck wrong with you?” She just looked at me

dead serious, and then on a second thought she just shook her

head and walked away. I followed her to our bedroom. Louis

Vuitton bags sat in front of the bed. This time Trina was fully pre-

pared to leave me.

She whirled around to face me, her eyes optic slants of con-

tempt.

“
I let you be the man with your balls and super ego while I

sat in the background and played my part, let you get all the cred-

it for being the brains –”

“
Trina let me –”

“
Don’t fuckin’ interrupt me!” she said pointing the gun at me.

“
When you first star ted out hustling, in the first two weeks you

made millions. I made that happen. And when you couldn’t find

a supply for coke, I made that happen, too. I bet your punk ass

didn’t know that it was I that went to my uncle and got you put

on. I made all of this happen!”

Perspiration was starting to form on my forehead as I listened

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to Trina, a woman I realized I never really knew.

She continued, “I let you be the head, the lead, because a real

thorough bitch knows the neck moves the head.” Then in one of

her mood swings Trina lowered the gun, her eyes cast down at the

floor. “Lil Man is dead. DEAD!” She screamed at me. “... And his

momma is in a fuckin’ coma about to die, and Lord only knows

where the hell poor Evette is. She never made it back from

Baltimore.”

I hobbled over to the bed and lay down on my stomach. I was

in too much pain to talk. Trina came and stood over me with the

smoldering Black and Mild in her mouth, gun in one hand, and a

large suitcase in the other that looked big enough to put a small

body in.

“
Just so you know, I’ve already drafted the paper work to have

the Chateau, cars and jewelry placed into a shell corporation in

the event that the feds come at you. I’m outta this bitch.”

With all my meager strength I reached out and took hold of

her hand with the luggage in it. She pulled away, the contents of

the luggage spilled onto the floor. For a moment we just stared at

each other. I could not believe what I was seeing. Money. Lots of

it! Nicely wrapped hundred dollar bills in bundles of twenty-

thousand dollars. Finally she said, “See what you made me do?”

For the first time I heard the panic in her voice, saw the fear in her

eyes as the guilt was written all on her face. All those years she had

been stealing money from me. Fifty thousand here, ten thousand

there. Trina, the Brooklyn chick.

I watched as she bent down and retrieved the money. Her eyes

darted from me and to the door like a thief making a hasty get

away. It felt like I was being robbed.

“
Bitch! You been stealin’ from a nigga,” I said and tried to get

up.

“
Naw trick, I been preparin’ to do me, ME. You think I’m

gonna let you bring me down cause you don’t know when the

games are over?” Trina spat the words at me as I watched her tote

that heavy-ass suitcase to the door. I couldn’t even get out the bed