Lilly's Wedding Quilt (29 page)

“Here we are.”

She looked up to find they were at the entrance to the hospital. Although she’d visited with her mother often, and had extensive talks with the counselor from Lancaster, she still felt unprepared for her
mamm’s
homecoming. There were so many things that could happen. She had seen a genuine improvement in her mother’s mood, appetite, and energy level. She just prayed that the transition would go well.

They took the elevator to the familiar fourth floor. When they stepped out, Dr. Parker turned from the nurses’ station to greet them.

“Mr. and Mrs. Wyse. I wonder if you might come and meet with me and the visiting Amish counselor for a few minutes before you see your mother.”

“Is something wrong?” Lilly asked when they’d been shown into a small conference room.

“No, certainly not. Please sit down.”

Lilly sat and Jacob moved next to her, letting his heavy arm fall around her shoulders.

The Amish counselor, Julia Chupp, entered with a smile and sat down across the table.

Dr. Parker cleared his throat and looked intently at Lilly. “We’ve learned a few things over the years, Mrs. Wyse, about clinically depressed patients who’ve attempted, but not succeeded, in a suicide.”

Lilly swallowed at the use of the word, having tried not to think of it directly, even as her mother had been recovering.

The doctor continued. “We’ve learned that it’s necessary to consult with the families and involve them in the total treatment plan, including plans for the patient’s discharge and aftercare.”

Mrs. Chupp nodded. “And Dr. Parker understands the importance of the unique needs of your mother—her cultural needs as an Amish woman in relation to her depression. In other words, part of her healing needs to be addressed in terms of her faith.”

Everything started to sound a lot more complicated to Lilly. She concentrated hard as Dr. Parker handed her a stack of papers.

“In addition to these release forms, I’ve included a great deal of information for your family. You will note we’ve made some specific appointments with aftercare providers whom Mrs. Chupp has met and approves of.”

“There are other doctors?” Jacob asked.

“Yes, a psychiatrist, a psychologist, and appointment times for a small group—a support group—of other Amish women who’ve gone through this illness in the area.”

Lilly looked up in surprise. “Others?”

Dr. Parker nodded. “Yes, and not just from your community but from surrounding Amish communities as well. A higher-risk patient, like your mother, is identified and given priority in scheduling aftercare appointments to ensure her linkage with outpatient services. There’s also a schedule of her medicines for you to monitor.”

“Higher risk … you mean she could try to … again?”

Mrs. Chupp reached across the table and patted her hand. “That’s a family’s greatest fear. Although it’s possible, your mother has responded well to treatment. You’ll have to be aware of the risk and signs of any regression in her behavior, but you cannot sit up nights worrying about it. The medication can also help a great deal.”

Lilly lifted the sheath of papers, feeling slightly overwhelmed, but grateful for the support that seemed to be so well established for her family. Nonetheless, she cast a beseeching look at Jacob and he bent to kiss her cheek.

“It’ll be all right, Lilly,” he whispered. “You’re not alone.”

She nodded, looked up, and flushed as she became aware of Dr. Parker’s kind eyes.

“Shall we go and talk with your mother?”

“
Jah
,” Lilly whispered, feeling her heart begin to pound.

J
acob was pleased to see his mother-in-law looking so fit. She was dressed neatly and her hair was tucked beneath her
kapp
. she’d also gained a little bit of weight and the shadows beneath her eyes seemed to have almost disappeared.

The ride home was uneventful. He was pleased to hear Mrs. Lapp speak in normal tones with Lilly. When they entered the Lapp home and had removed their outer clothes, Jacob noticed that his mother-in-law clutched a black notebook in her arms as if it were of the greatest importance to her.

“Have you been writing, Mrs. Lapp?” he asked, gesturing to the notebook as Lilly made tea.

“Please, Jacob, call me
Mamm
. I should have suggested it before, but …” She gave him a shy smile and held the book up. “This is my journal from my time at the hospital. I wrote in it every day. It helped me express a lot of thoughts and feelings about my marriage and Hiram’s death. I plan to continue writing in it.”

“That sounds
gut
,
Mamm
,” Lilly observed from the stove. “I … I also wanted to tell you that, upon Dr. Parker’s recommendation, we changed your bedroom. It’s a lot brighter and softer. Alice, Edith, and some other friends came to help.”

“
Ach
, I’m so glad. I was dreading going back upstairs to that dark room. I seem to like the light more now and realize that I must have some sunshine every day.”

Jacob was amazed at the change in her, but he felt cautious, watchful, especially after Dr. Parker’s talk.

He waited while Lilly saw her
mamm
up the stairs at bedtime. Then she soon joined him in the sitting room.

“
Mamm
fell asleep so quickly after her medicine. The papers say we should keep an eye on whether or not she takes the medicines, especially when she starts to feel even better than she does now.”

He nodded. “I forgot to ask you how Abel was today.”

“Absent,” Lilly said flatly. “I hope he’s there tomorrow, but there’s no telling.”

“Well, I’ll drive you there in the morning and then pick you up. If the
buwe’s
about after school, maybe we can have a lesson.” He paused to think. “What about your
mamm
—should she be left alone?”

“
Ach
, Mrs. Chupp and the bishop have arranged a schedule of regular visitors to minister to her for the next two months at least. She won’t be alone long at all.”

“Gut
… that’s really
gut
, Lilly.” He cast his eyes about the room, not wanting to go to his bed on the floor but seeing no choice in the matter either.

He moved to brush his lips against her cheek, lingering for a moment, until he had to pull away. “Good night,” he whispered, then turned to go to their room.

C
HAPTER 37

S
leigh bells rang out merrily, and Lilly smiled at the spray of snow Thunder kicked up as the cutter flew along the road to school. It had snowed the night before and Jacob had surprised her by bringing round the sled instead of the buggy. They’d left her
mamm
in good spirits after seeing to her needs and knowing that Mrs. Loder was due to stop in early that morning.

Her satchel of books bounced against the sled robe and she laughed aloud with delight as they sped down one hill and up another in a stomach-lifting thrill.

She felt Jacob’s eyes on her. “Do you want to drive?”

“What? Thunder? I don’t think so … we’d end up in the field.”

He handed her the reins, enclosing her small hands with his own much larger ones. Thunder sensed the change in drivers because he tossed his head and dropped his pace a bit.

“Just hang on and let him know where you want to go. You’re in control. It’s almost like driving the buggy.”

He withdrew his hands and waited while she frowned, then tentatively snapped the reins. “Go on,” she encouraged. “I’ve got to get to school on time, big fella.”

The horse drew to a stop and Lilly huffed at Jacob.

“A stubborn student,” he observed. She wasn’t sure if he meant her or his horse. She turned her gaze to Thunder’s broad back, then she made an imitation of the clicking combination sound followed by the rumbling
hupp
she’d heard Jacob use. The horse pricked his ears. She did it again louder, then slapped the reins. They were off down the lane, the landscape whizzing by. She turned briefly to grin at her husband.

“Horse talk!” she shouted. “Anyone can do it.”

He laughed aloud and took the reins as they pulled in to the school yard. Lilly was about to accept his praise when something caught her eye. A broken window in the side of the building, jagged with pointed glass, reflected in the sun’s early morning rays. She felt her stomach drop and then saw that the schoolhouse door stood wide open.

“
Ach
, Jacob. Something’s wrong.”

“Stay here a minute. I’ll have a look. It was probably just some
kinner
playing ball.” He handed her Thunder’s driving reins and went to the open door. When he didn’t return within a few moments, Lilly jumped down, tied Thunder to a hitching post, and followed Jacob inside. She climbed the steps of the porch and then stood, frozen in amazement, as she stared at the interior of the classroom.

The students’ wooden desks had been overturned and spray painted bright yellow and orange. Papers, supplies, and artwork were strewn and torn, some blowing forlornly from the wind that whistled in through the broken window. The chalkboards were spray painted as well. The welcome tree was torn in long strips with the snowflakes crumpled and trampled on the floor. Her desk had been upended and the wood deeply gouged. Its drawers had been flung about and emptied of everything. Even the new corkboard had been torn down and shredded, and her Bible lay facedown and open on the hardwood, treated so harshly its spine had cracked.

She automatically moved to pick up the Bible first, clutching it against her as she stood beside Jacob, who surveyed the scene with his arms crossed against his chest. Other Amish schools had been vandalized in years past, she’d known, but nothing like this had ever happened at the Pine Creek School. Her initial feeling of shock was fast turning to anger as she glanced at her brooch watch and realized that the students would be coming soon.

“The children will come. I can’t let them see this. Whoever did this deserves to be—”

“Why?” Jacob turned to look down at her, his expression calm.

“Why, what?”

“Why can’t the students see? It’s their school.”

She bristled. “
Jah
, and it’s supposed to be a place of safety and peace. Not this mess. “

“They can help you clean it up.”

She looked at him like he was
narrish
.

“What’s wrong with you, Jacob? Do you see this? How would you feel if it were your barn, your horses?”

He laid his hands on her shoulders and stared down into her eyes. “Lilly,” he said softly. “Remember, forgiveness first. Then you can be angry or hurt. Don’t forget the ways of our people, our history. Forgive first. Extend grace.”

Something quieted in her soul as she listened to him. He was right. Whoever did this deserved forgiveness just as the Lord forgave her when she sinned. She took a deep breath. “
Danki
, Jacob, for reminding me. It is … not so bad. We can straighten things out and pray for those who did this. Then we’ll have school as usual.”

Jacob gave her a quick hug. “
Gut. Gut
teacher.”

The students began to file in, their initial reactions very similar to Lilly’s until she gently reminded them of what Jacob had brought to her heart. Even Abel, who at first appeared bewildered, seemed to understand as he bent to pick up some papers.

They all worked together as Lilly began to hum some hymns and Jacob rode off to notify the school board. Within two hours, things were put relatively to rights, and she was able to work through an abbreviated daily schedule, calling on the younger students to come forward to recite their arithmetic.

J
acob decided the cutter was the fastest way to travel on the snowy roads and gave Thunder his head, soon arriving at the bishop’s farm. The old man was carrying a bag of feed over one shoulder with ease as the sled came to a stop.

“Jacob Wyse … spending time alone with your horse, hmm? How is your
fraa
?”

Jacob smiled and hopped out, wanting to take the 120-pound feed bag from him but knowing he’d only insult the man. “I’m afraid there’s been a bit of trouble, Bishop. The schoolhouse was vandalized sometime during the night. I left Lilly and the children there to finish with the cleaning up.”

“Bad off, was it?”

“The window needs to be replaced and desks need some repairing. The spray paint needs to be removed. The corkboards are gone and the blackboards aren’t in very good shape.”

“Let me put this in the barn and go tell Ellie. I’ll ride over with you and have a look.”

Soon they were headed over the roads and Jacob noticed that the bishop smiled at each dip and turn. “Now,
this
is
gut
for my heart, Jacob.
Danki
.”

“My pleasure. And my horse’s, of course.”

They were about to turn down the lane to the schoolhouse when the unfamiliar blip of a siren startled Thunder and he crow-hopped and began to gain speed. Jacob pulled him up as a police cruiser eased alongside them.

“Oh, boy—” the bishop muttered as they both recognized the face of the young officer who’d invaded Sarah’s wedding.

The policeman slid down his car window. “Hello … um … uh … I’m Officer Mitchell. Probably you might know me from that time I acted like a fool at a wedding of yours. But, I’m trying to learn … uh, anyway, I got two kids in the back here. I think they might be Amish, or at least one is. I wasn’t sure what to do. I caught ‘em early this morning spray painting the back of the post office in town. I wondered if you’d had any incidents out your way.”