Lisa Lutz Spellman Series E-Book Box Set: The Spellman Files, Curse of the Spellmans, Revenge of the Spellmans, The Spellmans Strike Again (74 page)
Authors: Lisa Lutz
1
Unless I was running Spellman Investigations, I couldn’t expect to make more than the high 30s per year. And that’s a good year.
1
Note to self: End casual mentioning of restraining order.
1
Around $400 retail.
2
I only took one. Where was the other?
1
We realized after the fact that this would make us related, and we determined to widen the number gap if we were to do a repeat performance.
1
Although I never stopped introducing myself as his life coach.
1
This time, uttered by me.
1
No, don’t do that. But if you do, tell them I read your manuscript and think it’s great!
2
Marysue had to pay because David wasn’t sure his credit card would work.
3
Perhaps an “acting” editorial assistant does not make sense. I’m actually not in the mood to elaborate.
4
If you’re in the market for one, he’s located in Beverly Hills.
5
He was simply held for questioning; no arrest was ever made.
6
But not Mike Joffe.
Curse of the Spellmans
The Spellman Files
SIMON
&
SCHUSTER
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This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2009 by Spellman Enterprises, Inc.
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address Simon & Schuster Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.
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SCHUSTER
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.
ISBN-13: 978-1-4165-9711-7
ISBN-10: 1-4165-9711-5
eISBN-13: 978-1-4516-5936-8
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For David Hayward
[Partial transcript reads as follows:]
DR. RUSH:
1
Two weeks ago you mentioned that you were being blackmailed.
ISABEL:
Did I?
DR. RUSH:
Yes.
ISABEL:
Must have slipped my mind.
DR. RUSH:
Would you like to talk about it?
ISABEL:
Nah.
DR. RUSH:
Well, I’d like to talk about it.
ISABEL:
It’s really not that big a deal.
DR. RUSH:
Do you know your blackmailer?
ISABEL:
I’m in the process of narrowing down the list of suspects.
DR. RUSH:
How does your blackmailer communicate with you?
ISABEL:
Anonymous notes.
DR. RUSH:
What do they say?
ISABEL:
I
really
don’t want to talk about it.
DR. RUSH:
If these sessions went according to your plan, you’d sit here in silence for an hour eating your lunch.
ISABEL:
One time
I asked you if I could eat lunch.
One time.
DR. RUSH:
Tell me what the gist of the notes is and then we can move on.
ISABEL:
“I know your secret. If you want to keep it you will meet my demands.”
DR. RUSH:
So, what’s your secret?
ISABEL:
I thought we were moving on.
DR. RUSH:
We are. To what your secret is.
ISABEL:
[sigh] My blackmailer knows where I live. At least I think that’s the secret he or she is referring to.
DR. RUSH:
Where do you live?
ISABEL:
I don’t want to lie to you, Dr. Rush.
DR. RUSH:
I’m flattered.
ISABEL:
I don’t want to tell you the truth, either.
DR. RUSH:
Are you being serious, Isabel?
ISABEL:
I sense judgment in your tone, Doctor.
DR. RUSH:
Right now I’m just confused. The judgment part will come later.
ISABEL:
You’re funnier than Dr. Ira.
2
DR. RUSH:
My couch is funnier than Dr. Ira.
ISABEL:
See?
DR. RUSH:
You really aren’t going to tell me where you live?
ISABEL:
If it makes you feel any better, most people don’t know where I live.
DR. RUSH:
My feelings don’t come into play here.
ISABEL:
It’s nice to have one person I don’t have to worry about.
DR. RUSH:
Are you getting enough sleep?
ISABEL:
No. But I drink a lot of coffee and take the bus, so things even out.
DR. RUSH:
Why can’t you sleep?
ISABEL:
I’ve got a lot on my mind.
DR. RUSH:
[impatiently] For instance?
[Long pause.]
3
ISABEL:
Something strange is going on with my brother.
DR. RUSH:
We’re not talking about your brother.
ISABEL:
It’s my therapy. I thought I got to choose the topics.
DR. RUSH:
Let me ask you a question: Have you been hired to investigate your brother?
ISABEL:
He’s family. You don’t need a paycheck to investigate family.
DR. RUSH:
I’d like to return to the topic of blackmail.
ISABEL:
Why?
DR. RUSH:
Because it’s a clearly defined stressor in your life.
ISABEL:
It’s not that stressful. I’d really like to switch topics now.
DR. RUSH:
If you can come up with a topic as good as blackmail, I’m game. [Long pause while I pretend to think of a worthy subject.]
DR. RUSH:
I’m onto you and your long pauses.
4
ISABEL:
Okay. I’m being bribed by a political consultant.
DR. RUSH:
Seriously?
ISABEL:
Yes.
DR. RUSH:
Why?
ISABEL:
Because he thinks I know something. But I don’t know anything…yet.
DR. RUSH:
What does he think you know?
ISABEL:
If I knew that, then I’d know.
DR. RUSH:
[sigh] Is this bribe incident connected to the blackmail?
ISABEL:
Absolutely not.
DR. RUSH:
What makes you so sure?
ISABEL:
The bribe is serious. The blackmail is child’s play.
DR. RUSH:
I need you to be more specific.
ISABEL:
My blackmailer is making me wash cars and go to the zoo.
DR. RUSH:
Go to the zoo?
ISABEL:
It was supposed to be SFMOMA,
5
but I thought I could go to the zoo instead. My mistake. My point is they are entirely unconnected.
[Long, long pause.]
DR. RUSH:
[sigh] Bizarre forms of blackmail, bribery, secret residences. The odds of all of this happening to one person, Isabel—
ISABEL:
It sounds worse than it is.
DR. RUSH:
Let’s look at this from a different perspective. Your imagination has gotten you into trouble in the past. That’s why you’re in therapy. You can’t deny that you tend to put a paranoid slant on most things you observe.
ISABEL:
That was the old me.
DR. RUSH:
Are you sure?
ISABEL:
I’ve made progress, Dr. Rush. Lots of progress.
[Long, long pause.]
ISABEL:
Haven’t I?