Living with Love (Lessons in Love) (15 page)

Christmas always managed to bring out the best in people
, and her office had been no exception.

“What will you be doing over Christmas?” Alex asked politely, sipping at the eggnog she’d previously been handed.

“I’m heading home too,” Jeff said a little wearily. “Back to Connecticut.”

“Well, have fun.” Alex smiled, finding it difficult to imagine her manager anywhere other than the city. He wore slick suits and walked with an air of self-confidence
, which in New York seemed commonplace, but anywhere else, like his hometown, he must seem arrogant and aloof. Would Alex also fail to fit in back in Woodsdale? Would her time away at Princeton and now the city have irrevocably marked her? Changed her from the small-town girl into something else, something the locals would find unrecognizable?

“Going back for the first time is always strange,” Jeff mused, noticing Alex’s distantly troubled look. “You find that whil
e you may change, many places and people do not.” With those final parting words of wisdom, he raised his own glass of sickly sweet egg mixture and nodded at his young protégé before moving on to the next cubicle to carry on his managerial duties of making festive-related small talk with all employees.

Sighing, Alex looked out of the vast windows at the far end of the office and saw New York sparkling beyond. Ornate Christmas trees and rows upon rows of glittering lights had swept the city, as if everything had been sprinkled with fairy dust. Even the most drab building now appeared magical. It was intoxicating to walk
through the city when it was illuminated like this, you could be forgiven for imagining that you were within some wondrous fairy tale. The lights and the whimsical atmosphere that accompanied them reminded Alex of the good in the world, of the potential for wonderful things to happen.

She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so jubilant in the
prelude of the festive season. But that euphoria soon fell away when she thought of her destination for the holidays and, moreover, who might be there.

****

“I wish I could see New York at Christmastime,” Ashley cooed wistfully into the iPad during their evening call.

“There’s always next year
.” Alex smiled from her vigil at the base of her small bed, where she was packing for her early train as they spoke.

“I just wish I wasn’t so busy with the campaign,” Ashley moaned. “It truly sucks not being able to see you.”

“It will get easier,” Alex said positively, though a fearful part of her wasn’t so sure. What if their lives only became busier as time drew on? What if eventually they didn’t even have time for one another, for their calls? The thought was unbearable and made her momentarily cease packing and bite her lip.

“No! I can’t go on like this!” Ashley suddenly declared stridently. Alex saw her rustle around on her own bed
, where she was perched for the conversation, retrieving a red leather-bound diary and then frantically typing into her laptop.

“What are you doing?” Alex asked, frowning at the small digital screen.

“How are you fixed for February 4
th
?” Ashley asked, glancing briefly at her diary and then at the laptop screen, the iPad now being ignored.

“February 4
th
? What, why? I don’t know.” Alex shook her head.

“Well, you now have plans,” Ashley said sternly, writing something in her diary and then unleashing her fingers in a flurry of graceful keystrokes against her laptop keyboard.

“I do?”

“Yes, consider this my early Christmas gift to you
.” Ashley smiled, looking back at the iPad screen. “I’ve just ordered myself tickets to come to New York for a week in February!”

Alex was speechless. She stood frozen with clothes in hand, unable to drop them into the waiting duffel bag, her mouth hanging open. The reality of meeting up with her friend in just a few months made her realize just how much she’d truly missed her
, and her eyes began to well up.

“Hey, come on, thanks will suffice
.” Ashley sniffed, growing tearful herself.

“Ash, that’s so amazing
. I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too.” Ashley wiped at her eyes, careful not to smudge her carefully applied mascara.

“I wish we could hug right now.” Alex smiled.

“Me too, but that will be the next invention, digital hugs
.” Ashley winked.

“That’d be good
.” Alex abandoned her packing and sat on her bed by the iPad.

“I can’t believe you’re going home tomorrow,” Ashley noted, glancing at the duffel bag in the background.

“I know.”

“Do you think it will be weird?” Ashley asked, frowning with concern.

“I don’t know, maybe,” Alex admitted. “But I can’t wait to see my mom and Andy.” As she spoke, she scanned her apartment and realized that for possibly the first time ever, she was excited to go back to the trailer. It would be an improvement on her current dwelling.

“Do you guys go big at Christmas?” Ashley asked lightly. “My
dad goes all out. He even buys two turkeys; it’s nuts. He puts four trees up at the house, not to mention all the lights! Christmas is his favorite holiday. You’ll have to come over one year just to see my house in all its gaudy madness!” Ashley laughed.

“Yeah
.” Alex smiled and then cast her glance downwards. “Christmas has been low key with us since my dad died.”

“Oh
.” Ashley’s cheeks grew pink as she feared she’d accidentally stepped all over a delicate subject.

“But I want to make it special again,” Alex added quickly, not wanting to make her friend feel bad. “I just don’t know how.”

“I think you just being there will make a big difference,” Ashley said kindly.

Alex thought of the feeling she felt when she saw all the wondrous lights of the city. She wished she could somehow bottle that feeling and take it back with her to Woodsdale and then release it in the small space of the trailer and let her whole family feel its magical warmth.

“I’d better go. I’ve got an early train.” Alex yawned, the various sweet treats of the day courtesy of the office making her drowsy.

“Okay, well
, I’ll speak to you when you’re down there. Have a safe trip!” Ashley waved into the camera on her iPad, and Alex waved back.

“I could do with another digital hug!” Ashley smiled.

“Me too!” Alex agreed before signing off the call with a flick of her finger. Alone in the emptiness of her apartment, she considered calling Mark. She was apprehensive about seeing him back in Woodsdale and wondered if a precursory call might help ease any tension between them. She’d come close to calling him before but thought better of it.

Staring hard at her iPad
, Alex recalled the last time she’d seen him. He’d waved her off at the Woodsdale platform, setting her free to fulfil her dreams of attending Princeton. Now she was going back, back to the platform, back to the town. What if Jeff was right? What if she had changed but Mark had not?

Sighing, Alex decided against calling him and flopped down on her bed. After her head connected with the pillow, it didn’t take long for sleep to take her.

****

The station was obscenely busy with people frantically trying to make it home for the holidays. Alex had thought that an early departure time would help her elude most of the crowds, but she had been wrong. She pushed her way through the throngs of people, pulling her duffle bag along with her, already regretting having packed so much but not daring to leave anything of value back in her apartment.

People were pushing and shoving, craning their necks to check departure times. It was so chaotic. In contrast to the chaos there were ethereal Christmas songs being played through the sound system
, and the whole station had been touched by the same magic as the rest of the city, being covered in angelic lights and boasting a fabulously tall, ornately decorated tree. Each time Alex became overwhelmed by the intensity of the station she’d look up at some of the décor and feel herself instantly relax.

Finally, she arrived at the platform
, and her train was already there waiting, eager to transport her away from the city and back to her mundane life. As she boarded, she noticed that even the train, not being a permanent fixture of the city, was lacking some of the station’s luster. There were decorations on board, but they appeared shabby and old, leaving Alex with a sad rather than magical feeling. She tried to push any negative feelings to the back of her mind and found an empty window seat and hurriedly settled down before it could be taken.

Around her were families trying to get their children to be quiet,
and solo travelers like her going back to their home states, their faces pinched with a mix of excitement and regret. While going home was great, leaving the city was not. The city was vibrant and full of pulsating energy. Home was a small town where she wasn’t sure she really belonged anymore.

Pulling out her iPad, Alex put on some music and put her headphones on, wanting to drown out her own thoughts. She had a long, lonely journey ahead. She thought of when she’d been on a train destined for Paris. How much fun it had been to travel with Ashley. They’d drank champagne and slept through the momentous part of the journey when they’d have crossed countries and entered France.

Warmed by her memories, a faint smile pulled on Alex’s lips. As small as Woodsdale was, it had managed to launch her into the great wide world. She’d studied at Princeton, been to Europe and now lived in New York City, so the town couldn’t be so bad. Searching her feelings, she knew that it wasn’t the town she was reluctant to see, it was the man who was there, the man who had changed everything for her, the man who had essentially saved her life.

Alex rummaged in her duffel back and found the note she’d kept safe ever since she’d read it the last time she’d journeyed back to Woodsdale. Her eyes scanned over the familiar cursive
, and her heart rate quickened.

She read the final few lines and wondered if Mark still held those words true
.

But please know that should you return to Woodsdale, or should you wish to return to me, no matter how much time passes
, I will be here, ready and waiting.

True love does not diminish with time. I know that now.

As Alex scrutinized the letter, the train surged into motion, heading down the track, pulling away from New York and heading in the direction of Woodsdale. Whether or not Mark still meant what he had wrote, Alex was soon going to find out first hand. Feeling breathless with anticipation, Alex put the letter away once more and focused on the music pulsating through her headphones, letting the melody pull her away from her thoughts and relax.

****

“Alex!” Jackie Heron ran up and embraced her daughter as she stepped off her train at the Woodsdale station.

“Mom
.” Alex hugged her mother back, both of them holding each other tighter than usual.

“I missed you,” Jackie admitted, finally stepping back and releasing her grip.

“I missed you too, Mom.” Alex smiled. “Where’s Andy?” she asked, glancing behind her mother and seeing only empty space.

“He doesn’t get in until tomorrow,” Jackie explained. “So it’s just us girls tonight.”

“Sounds good.”

****

Compared to the city, Woodsdale seemed drastically sparse. There were vast empty fields and houses with yards the size of a small baseball field. And everywhere felt so alarmingly open without being beneath the shadow of overbearing sky scrapers.

As the cab pulled into the trailer park, Alex noticed that little had changed since her departure to Princeton. There was still the disorderly alignment of numerous trailers, some in better condition than others. Beaten
-up cars were parked alongside some of them, and groups of children ran amongst the trailers, caught up in their own game. For them there were no yards, no boundaries, just one giant playground. Alex used to envy the idealistic way they viewed the park. They didn’t see it as the final resting place for the fallen as she did.

“Home sweet home,” Alex quipped as she shut the cab door behind her, her duffel bag hoisted across her back.

But as she scanned the area, she noticed the twinkle of lights sparkling out from some nearby trailers. On closer inspection she saw windows lined with fairy lights, Christmas trees peering out from behind curtains, lovingly decorated. Some trailers had even put lights along their exterior. It caught her by surprise to see an illuminated Santa and his sleigh atop one of their neighbor’s trailers.

It was a far cry from the elaborate lights of the city
, but nevertheless, the magic of Christmas had managed to enter the trailer park, and the effect was not lost on Alex. Somehow, the sparkling lights and the promise of magic that they held made the entire place seem more bearable and less desperate.