London Calling (9 page)

He began to stir and she cuddled closer.

“Good morning, handsome,” she purred. She raked her hand
into his hair to sweep it from his face. “Guess what?”

“The Bo Peep costume arrived?”

“Not yet.” She smoothed her hand across his chest. “I love
you.” Her heart picked up at the thrill of saying the words, the anticipation
of hearing them returned.

“I love you too.” He smiled and kissed her, caressing the
bare skin of her hip. “Waking up next to you naked isn’t bad either.”

She ran her hand down his side to his butt. “I say we never
get out of bed or get dressed.”

“Forget New York. Forget London. We’re staying in this bed
forever.”

Jenna swallowed.
London.
She didn’t want to think
about his real life, the one without her. They kissed, but now she felt the
dark cloud hanging over them. She counted the days in her head.
Shit. Is he
really going home in two weeks?
She popped up onto her elbow. “Have you
looked into more studio work? To see if you can stay in New York for longer?”

He rolled away and took a sip of water from the glass on the
bedside table. “They don’t have anything for me at the moment. The session I’m
doing right now is probably going to end a week early. They have serious budget
issues.”

“Oh.” Jenna’s lips pinched together.

“That part’s actually good news. We can spend more time
together my last week. Maybe Natalie will give you some time off.”

“Maybe.”

“I’ll find something.” He looped her hair over her ear and
kissed her neck.

Jenna felt her mind begin a mad scramble. She wanted to
help, find a way to get this fixed, but the only thing she could think of was
the last thing she wanted to do. “I could call my dad and see if he can pull
some strings. He knows everybody.”

His response was swift. “No. Absolutely not.” He shook his
head and gripped her elbow. “From everything you’ve told me, I’d say your dad
is poison. You’re better off without him. I don’t want you to put yourself
through that for me.”

“But I want to help. I don’t even want to think about you
leaving.” Her voice cracked and Tim cupped her cheek.

“You can come and visit me in London. And maybe I can find
some more studio work in New York in a month or two.”

“I’m too broke to go to London any time soon. All of my
savings is tied up in the pieces I made for the boutique. That was all on
spec.”

He furrowed his brow. “Don’t worry. We’ll sort it out. I
don’t want to spend my time with you worrying about jobs and geography.” He
reached around her waist and tugged her next to him. “I believe you and I said
something about staying in bed all day.”

The day went by much too quickly and before they knew it,
the train was rocking back and forth as it took them to the city. Jenna could
still smell the beach in her hair from the walk they’d taken before catching
the ferry. Tim snoozed in the seat next to her, his long legs stretched out
into the aisle. She held on to his arm and shut her eyes, replaying the last
twenty-four hours in her mind as if they had been a movie.

Back at Tim’s apartment the lock on the door was stuck, as
usual.

“Hurry. I really have to pee,” she said, bobbing up and down
on her toes.

“So this would be a bad time to talk about waterfalls and
rushing rapids,” he said, attempting to turn the key in the top deadbolt. “Bloody
hell.”

The lock clicked and Jenna dashed past him after he opened
the door. She felt a huge wave of relief as her bladder emptied. She flushed
and washed her hands, looking at her freckles in the mirror.

“That was close,” she said, emerging from the bathroom.

“My turn.” Tim went in to pee, but didn’t close the door all
the way, calling out to her. “Are you hungry? I’m a bit peckish.”

“I could make you something,” she said, opening the fridge
and examining the contents. “There’s more bacon. Do you want a panini?”

Tim came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her
shoulders. He kissed the top of her head. “I would love whatever you want to
make me.” Tim’s phone buzzed and rattled across the kitchen counter. He picked
it up. “It’s Gavin. He’s probably hoping for the details of our trip.”

Jenna smiled and pulled some provolone and bacon from the
fridge. She couldn’t wait to hear Tim recount his version of their romantic
getaway.

“Gav, hello.” He sat in one of the kitchen chairs. “Yes, we
had a wonderful weekend. We just got back.” He laughed. “Yes, she’s incredible.
I’ll try not to muck it up.”

Jenna blushed and felt warm all over. She plugged in the panini
press and cut slices of Italian bread, humming. She turned and saw Tim’s face
clouded with concern. “This sounds like a bloody nightmare, Gav. When will they
know something?”

Jenna set the knife on the cutting board and went to him. He
wrapped an arm around her hip as he held the phone to his ear. She strained to
hear, hoping she could understand what Gavin was saying, but couldn’t make out
a thing.

“All right, well, thanks for the update. I’m glad you
called. Let me know the minute you hear something. Even if it’s the middle of
the night.” He pushed the end button on his phone and set it on the table,
resting his head in his hand.

“What happened?”

“The adoption might not go through.” The corners of his
mouth turned down. “The agency can’t find the baby. They’ve been looking for
weeks and still nothing. He’s lost somewhere in the system.”

“That’s awful.”

“I just wish I could do something.” He blew out a slow
exhalation and ran his hand through his hair. “He’ll be gutted if this falls
through. This is all he and Phillip have wanted for years.”

Jenna was transfixed by his deep empathy for Gavin, the
strength of their nearly lifelong friendship. “He’s lucky to have such a great
friend.” She kneeled next to him and took his hand. “I know you’ll do whatever
it takes to help. I can’t imagine you ever letting someone down.”

* * * * *

Tim’s phone vibrated. “Shit, it’s Gavin.” The adoption
agency had promised a call by this afternoon about whether or not there was any
chance of locating the baby.

Jenna placed her hands on Tim’s shoulders. “Answer it. He
needs you.”

“Hey, Gav.”

The shriek that greeted his ear was almost enough to make
him drop the phone. “They found him, he’s all right. We’ll have him by the
holidays.”

Tim breathed a sigh of relief, instinctively reaching up to
cover Jenna’s hand with his own. “That’s fantastic.”

“It is. I can’t stop grinning. There’s so much to do. The
nursery’s not finished. Now I need to buy Christmas gifts as well. I want
everything monogrammed—CLB. Cecil Lawrence Banes.”

“I’m happy for you Gav.”

“Thanks. So glad you’ll be home in time for his arrival. I’m
going shopping right now.”

Tim hung up and put the phone down on the coffee table.
“He’s ecstatic.”

Jenna beamed. “It’s great news. So exciting.”

The phone went off again. “Wonder what he forgot to tell me.
Probably paint colors.” He answered the call. “What now?” It was Jane’s frantic
voice on the other end of the line. She was taking so fast he could barely make
out her words. It sounded as though she were crying. “Jane, love, I can’t hear
you. Slow down.”

He saw the worried look cross Jenna’s face but all he could
focus on was trying to make out what Jane was saying.

“I’ve been cramping all morning and now I’m bleeding.
Arthur’s away and Mum’s on her cruise with Aunt Margaret. I’ve called for an
ambulance.” He could hear the terror in her voice.

“Okay, sweets, stay calm. They’ll be there soon. Where’s
Melinda?”

“Can’t reach her, she’s at trial all day.” Jane groaned in
what Tim assumed was pain. His stomach knotted at the sound.

“Let me call Gavin, I just spoke with him.”

“No, just stay on the line with me ’til they get here. Tim,
I’m so scared. I think I’m losing the baby.” She cried out again.

Tim’s mind raced. He wrote down Gavin’s phone number and
motioned for Jenna to call him using her phone. She quickly dialed, shaking her
head after a minute. “Voicemail.”

He covered the phone. “Leave a message, have him call you as
soon as he gets it.”

Jane was sobbing, no longer forming words. Tim felt utterly
helpless. He heard the sound of the siren growing louder in the background.
Thank
God.
His only hope was that they could do something. “Jane, they’ll take
excellent care of you. Call me the minute you know anything. I love you.” He
hung up feeling bereft.

Jenna was staring at him, her eyes huge and dark. “What
happened?”

“I dunno. This is how it started the other times, pain and
bleeding. She’s so much further along, I thought she’d be okay.” He raked his
hand through his hair. “She’s all alone.”

Jenna sat on his lap and wrapped her arms around him, her
soothing hands stroking his neck. “Maybe it’ll be okay.”

“Maybe it won’t. I should be there.” He checked his phone,
making sure he had a signal.

“There’s nothing you could do. I’m sure the doctors will do
whatever they can.”

“You don’t understand. The other times this happened she
went into…a state. She holed up in her bedroom for days. Wouldn’t eat. Wouldn’t
talk to anyone. I was the one who finally got her up and moving. Now it’s even
worse. Her husband’s away. And she’s got Lucy.” He rubbed the back of his neck,
trying to figure out what to do.

“Let me make you some tea.” Jenna kissed him on the
forehead. “Hopefully someone will call soon, with good news.”

The next two hours seemed eternal. When Tim finally saw
Gavin’s number on caller ID, he picked up immediately. “Have you heard from
Jane?”

“Yes.” Gavin’s voice was low and steady and Tim braced
himself. “I’m at the hospital. I’m afraid it’s bad news. She’s lost the baby.”

“Christ.” Tim sat down with a thud, his thumb and fingers
pinching the bridge of his nose. His stomach churned imagining what Jane must
be going through.

“Look, I can’t chat now. I promised I’d go get Lucy from the
sitter’s. She’ll stay at our place tonight. The hospital’s keeping Jane
overnight and your mum should be home in a few days. No word on Arthur yet.
Seems he’s unreachable for at least another day. Can’t imagine someone telling
him this news over the phone.”

“I know.”

“Oh, sorry, mate.”

“Thanks for looking after Lucy.”

Tim hung up the phone, unable to clear the lump that had
formed in his throat. Jenna stood in front of him, inserting herself into the
space between his knees. Her eyes were brimming with tears, not making it at
all easier for Tim to keep his emotions in check. She reached out and stroked
his hair, her fingers gentle and comforting, but as much as he wanted to rest
his head against them, he pulled away. Jane was the one in need of comfort, not
him. He stood and reached for his laptop, startling even himself when he
announced, “I have to go home.”

Chapter Eight

Jenna did her best to remain calm.
This can’t be
happening.
Her stomach sank as his words rang in her head.
“I have to go
home.”
She watched as Tim brought his laptop to the kitchen table and his
fingers began to fly over the keys. Her head felt like a washing
machine—turning and sloshing in an endless churn. She took a deep breath.
It will all be fine. He won’t really have to leave.

Tim groaned and his shoulders dropped. “I’m going to have to
phone the airline. Explain what’s happened.” He reached for his phone. “Why is
it so bloody impossible to find the phone number on the website?” He jabbed at
the keyboard some more.

“Take a deep breath. I think you need to give yourself a
minute to digest this.” She reached for his arm.

His forehead crinkled. “I don’t have a minute. Janey needs
me. She’s an ocean away and just lost a child.” He covered his eyes and mumbled,
“She must be gutted. I can’t believe it happened again.”

“I know you want to help, but can’t Gavin and Melinda step
in?”

He shook his head. “You don’t understand. We’re always there
for each other. Always. Nothing is more important. And this is really bad. It’s
going to take more than Gav and Mel to put this back together. It’s all hands
on deck.”

Her lips wobbled as she began to realize just how determined
he was, just how much she wasn’t the center of his world like he was hers. “I’m
sorry. I just don’t want you to go.”

“Jenna, please. Do you think I want to leave? Do you think I
wanted this to happen?”

“Of course not.” She felt small and insignificant, a
familiar feeling but all the more painful since she’d opened her heart to him. “I
just—” she started, but Tim was back to clicking on his laptop.

“Finally. The number.” He held up his finger. “I need to
make this call.”

Jenna picked up her messenger bag, having the urge to do
what her family always did in a crisis—run in the opposite direction. “I have
to go get ready for work. Can I come over after my shift?”

“Yeah, of course,” he said, distracted. He stood and pecked
her on the temple. “Uh, yes, hello. I need to book a flight. I have a family
emergency.”

Jenna lurched for the door. She couldn’t listen to another
word.

She trudged down the street in a nearly catatonic state.
Everything
happens for a reason
.
Bad things happen when I get close to someone.
It was hard to think any differently. Aside from Natalie, she didn’t have a
stable, caring relationship with any person on the planet other than Tim. There
had to be a reason for it.
Maybe my dad isn’t the poison. Maybe I’m the
poison.

She arrived at her apartment, relieved that one thing had
gone right—Rachel wasn’t there. She flopped down on her bed, dreading
what felt like her only option, the thing Tim had told her not to do. It was
the only thing that made sense. She had to do something.
If I can land him
some phenomenal job, at least he’ll want to come back.
She wasn’t sure she
was enough of a reason for him to ever return.

She sat up on the bed and picked up her phone. Her father’s
number wasn’t on speed dial, but she had it committed to memory. He’d had the same
office in L.A. for most of her life. She pressed the numbers, her stomach
filling with a sour, empty feeling.

A woman with a nasal voice answered. “AB Records. How can I
direct your call?”

Jenna tried to swallow but the muscles of her throat locked
up. “Uh, yes, can I speak with Al?”

“Who’s calling?” she asked with the skeptical voice of a
gatekeeper.

“It’s his daughter. Jenna.”

“I’ll see if he’s available.”

Jenna fidgeted as she was subjected to the horrible hold
music, likely one of her father’s latest discoveries. It occurred to her that
there was a very good chance he wouldn’t take her call.

The woman got back on the line. “He can speak to you in five
minutes. Please hold.” The music came back, just as awful the second time.

She dug through her dresser for clothes to wear to work,
fighting the sting in her eyes. She could already hear her dad’s voice in her
head—the stern, cold tone of a man accustomed to getting whatever he
wanted, exactly the way he wanted it. The fact that his children had deviated
from his fucked-up ideas of the perfect family had been easily remedied. He’d
cut Ethan and her out of his life, completely.

The music faded to a new and somehow worse song and her
heart began to pound in her ears. The screeching voice of the singer had her
wincing until her father picked up. That made her recoil and drop to the edge
of the bed.

“Jenna.” His voice was flat. She could envision him sitting
at his massive oak desk, the gold and platinum records covering his office
walls. She could imagine him looking down his nose at her.

“Dad. Hi.” She clutched a handful of her quilt.

“Let me guess. You’re calling for one of three reasons. You’re
broke, you’re pregnant, or your brother’s dead.”

Hang up. Just hang up. He can’t hurt you anymore.
Tears
rolled down her cheeks.
Just talk. Do this for Tim.
“No, sorry. Ethan is
fine and I’m not broke or pregnant. I’m calling to ask a favor.”

He cleared his throat. “I’m listening.”

That was exactly what he used to say to her when she was a
little girl and she got in trouble. He never told her why he was angry. He
would just give her plenty of rope to hang herself. “I have a friend who’s here
from England and he’s a really talented musician, piano and guitar.” She took a
long, silent breath, hoping her voice wouldn’t betray her. “He was hired to do
some studio sessions that fell through. I was hoping you could make some calls,
maybe hook him up with an audition or two.”

“I take it you’re sleeping with this guy. I thought I told
you to stay away from musicians.”

Fuck.
“We’re dating, but that’s not the reason I’m
calling. I would call even if he were only a friend. He’s incredibly gifted. I
wouldn’t ask if I didn’t know he could get the jobs on his own. He just needs a
good word somewhere.”

“And why should I do this for you?”

Her lip shook and her eyes were so watery that the room was
nothing more than a blur. “Because I’m your daughter.”

“So you’re my daughter when it’s convenient for you.”

Just like you’re my father when it’s convenient for you,
which is never.
“No, Dad, I’m always your daughter. But we can’t have a
real relationship until you find a way to accept Ethan.” She bit her lower lip,
hard, praying she hadn’t just sunk her own cause by mentioning the elephant in
the room. “Can you just do this one thing for me? Please?”

There was silence on the other end. It made her wonder if
the call had dropped.

“I’ll make some phone calls. I’m not promising anything. My
assistant will call you with the details if there are any. Now I need you to do
something for me.”

“Yes, of course. What?”

“Tell your brother to call your mother or send her a note so
she knows he hasn’t died from AIDS or isn’t in a gutter somewhere.”

Gee, Dad. The warmth. It’s overwhelming. It’s like a
Norman Rockwell painting.
“I’ll call him today.”

Jenna walked double time to work, hoping she wouldn’t be
late again. Every nerve ending in her body felt as if it had been rubbed raw
and her brain was working overtime. Her phone rang from the depths of her bag
and she fumbled to retrieve it. She couldn’t imagine her dad would get back to
her with news already, but he could make magic when he wanted to. Her chest
pounded when she saw Tim’s name on the caller ID.

“Hey. Any news?” she asked, wondering if this was how it
felt to hyperventilate.

“Flight’s booked. Nine a.m. tomorrow morning. Just need to
speak to Gavin to ask him to pick me up.”

Jenna stopped dead in her tracks. The blood drained from her
face. She felt as if she was going to be sick all over the sidewalk.
“Tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

* * * * *

Tim’s head was pounding. He’d managed to book a flight, but
that had made everything suddenly more real.
I’m leaving.
He hadn’t
realized how settled he’d become in his Manhattan life until he needed to
dismantle it in less than twenty-four hours.

The manager at One If By Land had been thoughtful and
gracious, wishing Jane well and telling Tim if he found himself in town again
to be sure to ring. The studio had been somewhat more annoyed, but had still
extended an offer to return. Tim couldn’t think that far ahead. All he could focus
on was Jane. He had yet to speak with her. Melinda and Gavin tried, but she
wasn’t willing to take a call. He dreaded the condition he might find her in by
the time he got home.

Jenna was another matter. The look on her face when Tim
announced he was leaving had been enough to break his heart. Hurting her was
the last thing he wanted, but she needed to understand. He had no choice, he
had to go.

Tim was gathering things out of the bathroom when he heard
the door open. Jenna still had his key. His gut twisted at the thought that
soon he’d no longer live there. She wouldn’t be keying into his place or
stopping by work. He literally might never see her again. His chest tightened
as he walked toward her.

“Hey,” Jenna said, her voice faltering. Her red-rimmed eyes told
him she’d been crying.

He wrapped his arms around her waist. She felt so warm and
soft he wanted to scoop her up and carry her straight to bed, to forget
everything else and just be with her, but he had too many other things he
needed to do. He kissed her lightly, aching to feel her skin against his but
forcing himself to release her. “I’m clearing out the fridge. Don’t think
there’s much edible in here. Have you had supper? We could get takeaway.”

“Sure, whatever you want.” Jenna looked edgy, her hands
shoved into her back pockets. “We have to talk first.”

Tim stopped with his hand on the refrigerator door. “What’s
up?”

“I know you told me not to, but with things changing so fast
I just wanted to see if there were even any options.” She looked down, biting
her lip. “I called my father.”

Tim let go of the door and it swung open with a rush of cold
air. “Why?”

“I wanted to know if he could find you a job, so you can
come back. I mean, if you want to.”

Tim ran his hand through his hair. “I told you I’d work
things out. I can’t believe you did this.”

“I had to try. It wasn’t that helpful but he did say he’d
make some calls. He was pretty rude about it, but maybe he’ll find something.”

“You shouldn’t have rung him.” He started shoving half-empty
cartons of food into a plastic bag.
I said I’d handle this.
“Tell him
not to waste his time. I can find my own way back. And God knows when that will
be depending on what’s going on at home.” His stomach tensed and he busied
himself tying the bag shut. He pushed past Jenna to cart it to the rubbish
chute in the hall.

They ate Chinese food sitting on the floor of the lounge and
Tim couldn’t help but remember the first time they’d done that. The feeling of
excitement, the newness, the breathlessness of their first kiss.
How did it
all end so fast?

Jenna picked at her food and the conversation between them
lagged. Gavin called to confirm the flight time, serving as a reminder that he
was going home. Tim packed the food containers back into the takeaway bag and
took them straight to the chute. He returned to find Jenna perched on his
kitchen counter, looking sad but lovely. Her hair hung loose, shadowing her
solemn eyes.

He stroked the sides of her head and she wrapped her legs
around him, pulling him closer. Her lips were firm and supple, a determination
behind them that he’d never sensed before. He ran his hands down to her waist,
wanting to go slow, to savor their last time together, but Jenna had other
ideas.

Her hands flew through the buttons of his shirt, tugging it
off his shoulders. Her lips were everywhere, nipping at him, fingers digging
into his back. “Make love to me,” she rasped against his ear.

He carried her to the bed, her legs coiled around him.
Instead of sad and tearful, Jenna had an increased vigor to her every move. Her
body seemed to be trying to devour his, bucking against him, clutching at him
with incredible intensity.

Tim slowed their movements, rocking gently inside her,
caressing her face with his thumbs, wanting to memorize every nuance. Jenna
thrust against him with such force he couldn’t concentrate on anything other
than the pull of her body. She let out a shattering cry as she shook beneath
him and he pulsated inside her. Not until he collapsed alongside her did he
realize tears had started to stream down her face.

“Don’t cry.” He wiped his finger beneath her eyes,
struggling to keep his own tears under control.

“Don’t go.” Her voice cracked and she buried her face in his
neck, hot tears running freely down his chest.

“I’m so sorry, Jenna. I love you, but I have to.”

He held her until she finally fell asleep. He remained
awake, stroking her hair, listening to the rhythmic sound of her breaths,
engraving every detail of her on his mind. His arm went numb, his chest
cramped, but he didn’t move, not wanting to break the momentarily peaceful
spell. All too soon the sun came up, casting a sallow glow on the room. The
sound of the alarm confirmed the inevitable. It was time for him to go.

Jenna’s feet dragged with every step away from Tim. Tears brewed
as she cast her eyes away from the strangers on the street.
I love him and I’ll
never see him again.
Everything felt heavy—her shoulders, her
heart—as if an oppressive dose of gravity pressed down on her. It took
everything she had to keep moving, back to her apartment.