Long Time Running (18 page)

Thwap. Thwap. Thwap.

The sweat poured down his back and stung as it ran into his eyes. 4:47 a.m. He had been running for two and a half hours. He could feel her hand inside his. Hers was so small that it disappeared anytime he took it. He
loved her hands. They were soft and delicate and they were also the place where her compassion could be felt. A touch from Nathalie could soothe him in a way few other things could. Her eyes were where her love could be seen. Big, shiny
pools that reminded him that there would always be shelter for him. He wondered if he gave her the same looks, the same comforts. He suspected he did but didn't know for sure. Andrew had asked him, shortly after her return, if he was
still in love with her. He admitted he didn't know and the question had plagued him ever since. Was there a path to forgiveness for him? Could he honestly still love her after everything that happened? After holding her again, after hearing what she survived, after seeing her in their son every day and after
making love to her - because regardless of trying to pretend it was anything else, they did indeed make love - the only answer was yes. Yes, he was still in love with her. Loving her was as natural to him as breathing. Whatever happened
from here on out would not change how he felt. He would love Nathalie for the rest of his life.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

5:13 a.m.

It was over.

Eric found himself standing outside her room for the last
five minutes, his hand curled around the handle. It wasn't that he didn't want to go inside, he did. He just wasn't sure she would want him to be there. Andrew had phoned him to let him know how the surgery had gone and that she was
back from the recovery room. He had showered and changed and headed straight to the hospital.

Taking a deep breath, he pulled open the door and stepped inside. He was not surprised to see Sarah sitting beside her bed. She looked up
at him and smiled apologetically.

"That's a pretty fine right hook you have," he teased lightly.

She rubbed her hand over her face. "I'm sorry."

"No worries okay? Who, um, who's with Jack?"

"I dropped him at Linda's, she'll get him off to school. I told him I had a work thing."

"We have to stop lying to him" he said pointedly.

"And we will. Just as soon as Nathalie is out of the woods."

"How is he doing?"

"Scared, confused. Seven." she smiled softly.

"I don't think seven year olds have the lock on those
emotions." Eric said softly as his gaze roamed Natalie's form in the hospital bed.

Turning back to her sister, Sarah picked up her hand and held it. "She looks really pale, don't you think?"

He nodded. "But not unexpectedly so. Her color will come back as she gets stronger."

"Drew...Drew said he got it all."

"Drew is one of the best surgeons I've ever seen,"
he remarked. "Of course if you tell him that, I'll deny every word."

Nathalie groaned and her hands twitched. "Jack" she called out hoarsely. "I...have...have to get to Jack."

Getting to her feet, Sarah rubbed her hand reassuringly. "Jack is okay Natty. He's okay."

Her eyelids fluttered and she slowly opened them, blinking several times as she tried to free her mind of the thickly layered cobwebs.

"S...Sarah?" she asked, fully opening her eyes.

"Hi there," she greeted her, tearing up. "How do you feel?"

"T-tired."

"Then you should rest," she encouraged. "Do you know where you are?"

Nathalie gave a slight nod. "H-hospital?"

"Yes."

"I'm going to get Drew" Eric announced, slipping
out the door. He wanted to rush to her bedside and wrap her in his arms but he needed to hold back.

"Sar," Nathalie took a deep breath. "I'm sorry"

Sarah nodded as several stray tears trickled down her face. "Me too Natty."

"I...love...love you" She struggled to get the words out as the fog from the anesthesia started to settle around her again.

Leaning down, Sarah kissed her sister's cheek. "I love you too baby sister."

The door flew open and Andrew strode in with Eric trailing behind him. Sarah stepped away from the bed, reluctantly letting go of her
sister's hand.

"Hey Nat," Andrew said softly. "Welcome back."

She smiled tiredly, her eyes heavy-lidded. "You...drilled a hole...in my brain."

He smiled back at her. "I did. It was kind of fun."

Groaning, she rolled her eyes. "Jerk."

"Glad to see you are returning to your chipper self." Pulling out his penlight, he leaned forward. "I just want to
check how things are, okay?"

He checked the reaction of her pupils before asking her to squeeze his fingers. He talked to her about her pain level and reminded her that she would be in and out of it over the next few days but the fuzziness
would lift and they would have her up on her feet and walking around. When he asked if she had any questions her gaze shifted to Eric before looking back at him.

"N-no" she stammered. "T-tired."

"Okay" he said, "then close your eyes and let the meds do their work."

Opening her mouth to respond, she sighed instead and drifted off to sleep. Andrew turned to Sarah and Eric and smiled hopefully.

"She's responding really well," he said, knowing that Eric knew as much as he did. "It's a great sign that she woke up so soon and that she's speaking well. Her vitals are strong. She's going to be
hazy for a few days but I have no reason to expect she won't make a full recovery."

"Thanks Drew" Eric said gruffly. "I knew she...she was in good hands with you."

Sarah reached for her purse and slipped it over her shoulder and stood beside Andrew. "I'll walk out with you, I have to get to the office for a bit today."

As Eric took her spot in the bedside chair, Sarah followed
Andrew into the hallway. It was difficult to say who was more surprised, Sarah or Andrew, when she threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. It was such a spontaneous gesture and so out of character for her that he was stunned
into silence for several seconds.

"Thank you" she mumbled against his shoulder. "For saving her."

Feeling his scrub top dampen, he slid a finger underneath her chin and tilted her head up. He brushed her tears away with his thumb
before softly kissing her on the lips. For a whisper of a moment she gave in before pulling away. "Drew," she began.

"Sarah, one of these days you're going to realize I am not the enemy." His rich brown eyes were swimming with warmth.

"I...I c-can't do this...us," she said, stumbling over her words. "You know that."

He shrugged. "That's too bad then, for both of
us." Turning on his heel, he walked away from her.

#

Eric watched her as she slept. It had been more than 18 hours since they had been tangled up in each other and he was awash in feelings and memories. He wondered if she had felt as complete as he had when they were
kissing and touching. There had been no lack of women wanting to spend time with him and he had taken several up on their offers but none of them made him feel as at peace as she did. Even with all the drama churning around them,
those moments, those precious few moments where they had only concentrated on each other and not everything else, that same sense of tranquility came over him.

"You're....still...here" she said hoarsely, her
eyes opening slightly.

Tilting forward on the chair, he nodded. "Hey there sleepy head."

She gave him a curious look. "You should go home." She exhaled slowly. "You look terrible."

He smirked. "I'm not sure you're in any position to point fingers about looking terrible."

"D-drew drilled...a hole...in my head. Wh-what's your excuse?"

"I don't want you to be alone," he told her quietly, taking her hand in his.

Scoffing slightly, she shook her head. "It's...it's a little late for th-that." Taking a deep breath, she looked up at him.
"I p-pushed everyone away. G-got what I d-deserved."

He closed his other hand over hers and shook his head. "No, you didn't. And it's not too late. You aren't alone Nat - you really aren't."

"Is Jack ok?" She asked, a light sheen of tears
shimmering in her eyes.

"He's fine, Nat. He wants to meet you."

She nodded slowly. "I'd like that."

Pausing, he took a deep breath and slowly let it go. Her
final thoughts before collapsing still haunted him. Their argument was playing on a continuous loop in his head and he needed her to know how he felt.

"Listen, there is something I need to tell you."

Gradually opening her eyes again, a tiny smile ghosted across her lips. "You w-want your shirt back?"

Chuckling lightly, he shook his head. "Okay, there are
two things I need to tell you." Bringing her hand to his lips, he kissed it.

"I don't hate you Nathalie. I don't," he told her emphatically. "And us...being together," he sighed, "us making l- being intimate, it wasn't revenge or exorcism or payback. I wanted to be
with you. You weren't the only one who needed to be whole again and you did that for me. Touching me, kissing me, being with me - I felt whole."

Asleep again, her breath echoed in the room. Eric smirked to
himself before dipping down and placing a lingering kiss on her forehead. "Sleep Nathalie," he whispered. "You aren't alone and you are loved."

As she reviewed the file in front of her for the tenth time, Sarah sighed heavily. Her boss had been incredibly understanding of her sudden
need for time off but afraid of falling behind she had been bringing files home with her to keep up. The only problem was she was so distracted by everything that had happened she was finding it impossible to concentrate. Pulling the
glasses off, she tiredly rubbed her hand over her face.

"Aunt Sarah?"

Opening her eyes she was surprised to find Jack, dressed in his Spider-Man pajamas, standing in front of her trailing his blanket behind
him. A quick glance at the clock showed that it was near midnight.

"Jack, what are you doing up? Are you feeling sick?"

Shaking his head, he climbed on the couch and curled up
against her. "I couldn't sleep."

Closing the file, she tossed it onto the coffee table before sliding and arm around him and kissing the top of his head. "You're thinking about your Mom, aren't you?"

He nodded.

She gave a small smile. Jack was very much like his mother. Even as a child Nathalie would always take things in, mull it over and then react to it. Sarah had been the one with the hair trigger reactions and it had
taken her years to learn how to restrain herself. Stroking his hair, she looked down at him. "What are you thinking about?"

"Do you....do you think she knows it's my birthday next
Friday?" he asked.

"I know she does" she reassured him.

"She never sent me any cards or stuff," he said sadly. "How do you know she remembers?"

Her heart cracked just a little as she tugged him closer to
her. She had been so sure of her decision when she brought him home from Africa. By bringing Eric into his life, she had ensured he would have contact with a least one parent, even if Jack didn't know it was his father. But now
she was beginning to wonder if she hadn't done more harm than good. She wouldn't trade a single moment that she had spent with Jack for anything but maybe, just maybe, Nathalie had been right.

"I know because I was there with her in the hospital
when you were born and she was so happy to meet you Jack. She held you and cuddled you and covered you in kisses. She would never forget that day."

He pulled at his bottom lip as he contemplated her answer.
"Why did she stay far away helping people instead of being with me?" he asked, looking down at his lap.

This was the question Sarah had always dreaded. It was true that she had seen how much Nathalie had struggled in the first few weeks after
the fire but then she had returned home. When her sister had called and told her that she needed to give up Jack, she had immediately returned to Tanzania with a plan to talk her out of it. When she got there it was evident Nathalie
was not the same person she had been - she was listless and withdrawn. Despite Sarah's multiple attempts to draw her out, Nathalie would not expand on what happened to her. There had never really been secrets between the two of them
but there, in so much pain, her sister was closed off. So while she understood Nathalie had experienced a terrible tragedy, she truly didn't know all her reasons for giving him up and now she was expected to explain it to Jack.

"Jack, your Mom got sick when you were really little
and she couldn't take care of you. So she asked me to come and get you and to take care of you until she was better." It wasn't the whole truth but she didn't feel that Jack needed to know Nathalie's original intentions and it
certainly was not her place to tell him.

"But you said she was working."

"She was," she nodded, "but she still wasn't well enough to take care of you."

"Is Drew making her better?" he asked nervously.

Sarah smiled. "Yes he is and in a few days your Mom will be strong enough to see you and I'll take you, if you want."

"I'd like that" he told her. "Aunt
Sarah?"

"Yes?"

"Even after I meet my Mom will you....will you still be my best pal?"

Sucking in a breath, she willed herself not to cry. Wrapping
her arms around him she hugged him tightly and kissed the top of his head. "You better believe it Jack. For ever and ever."

#

Eric slid a coffee across the desk to Andrew. They hadn't
really had a chance to connect since Nathalie's surgery and while Eric had so far resisted the urge to pepper him with questions or ask to see her chart he did want to hear any details Andrew had yet to share.