Lost Dreams (26 page)

My mind had shifted from panic mode to happiness in an instant, having all of our friends at the house brought me so much joy. Remy had done an amazing job on my birthday, doing everything he could to make me happy. Remy offered me a beer and a gentle kiss. He had planned everything without me knowing and I thought he was wonderful. Such a great boyfriend, the sweetest guy in the whole world. ''Thank you, babes, I can't believe I didn't notice anything while you were planning all this.''

''Anything for you, sweets. Besides, I had help. Megan is really good at planning this sort of stuff.''

He was right. She was, and I was proud to call her a friend. Just like Patrick, Megan had played a major role in my life. She always gave me her support and love, and she’d helped me become the woman I was now. I couldn't imagine my life without her.

The table was covered by lots of different dishes; salads and nuts, bowls of olives and chips. William was in charge of cooking the ribs on the BBQ outside. It smelled so good, my stomach was already growling. Megan and the girls were putting together even more side dishes. I looked around - there was no way we would possibly eat all of this food tonight.

By the time the ribs were ready, I was already drinking my third beer. My tolerance to alcohol was negligible, so I was already tipsy and enjoying the party. I laughed, danced and talked with all of our guests, deciding that being thirty was fun after all.

When we were done eating, I turned up the music and started dancing with Megan. It felt so good to be having fun. Announcing at the end of the song that I was thirsty, Remy handed me another beer. "Enjoy it, Ave, because it's the last one I’m giving you," he warned.

I rolled my eyes "Why? I’m having a good time, babes."

I kissed him, trying my level best to seduce him, but he pulled back and looked at me with a warning in his eyes. "We aren't alone, sweets."

Maybe my kisses were not appropriate, after all, but I didn’t care. I laughed and went off to dance some more. I soon hit the stage where I had the urge to hug everyone and tell them how much I loved them. They all laughed, whether with me or at me, I didn’t care. It didn't matter because I was enjoying myself.

Soon afterwards, Julia appeared at my side with a gorgeous birthday cake which she had baked and decorated for the occasion. I knew she was talented, but this was beyond any cake I had ever received before. She’d baked a chocolate cake, which is my favorite, and covered it with bright pink fondant. Small white dots of icing in different size were placed all over the pink fondant and it looked gorgeous. I love it and it was absolutely delicious.

When all our guests left, I was both very drunk and extremely exhausted. There were dishes all over the counters and so much cleaning up to do, but I could barely walk in a straight line at this point and had other, much better plans to finish off my birthday.

As if he’d heard my thoughts, Remy’s hands reached around my waist and slid under my tight top, while his lips lingered on my neck, pressing soft kisses against my skin which sent shivers all over my body. I pressed my back against his chest, loving the feeling of his body so close to mine.

"I think we should go upstairs, sweets," he suggested huskily. Remy led the way and I followed him, but my legs were numb and I couldn't stopped giggling. As we walked into our bedroom, I tripped over the carpet and fell on the floor, laughing hysterically.

"Are you okay, sweets?" Remy asked, laughing with me.

"Yes, help me up, will you?"

He helped me up and held me in his arms and once again, his hands on my body made me want even more of him. My laughter died away and I looked up at him seriously. "I love you, Jeremy, like I’ve never loved anyone before. You mean so much to me."

He grinned widely and pressed his forehead to mine. "I think you’re very drunk, Avery."

Did he doubt my words? "I meant what I said, babes." I really did.

He blushed and kissed me. He really shouldn’t have kissed me, because all he did was get me even aroused. I wanted him to make me feel good and I had no doubt he could fulfil my needs. His kisses deepened and I pushed him toward the bed.

"Make love to me, Remy, please."

"You don’t need to beg me, sweets, ever. I’m always ready for you. I love you."

He undressed me and took the time to gaze at my body, and I could see the lust and desire burning in his eyes. I couldn’t wait another second without his touch, so I rubbed myself against him and we fell on top of the comforter. He made love to me, filled my soul with passion, and I adored him.

T
he sun peeked through the curtains and I already knew that today would be emotionally difficult. I stretched out in the bed and realized Avery was already gone. I sighed heavily. After a couple of minutes of thinking about how I should approach her, I finally got up and walked down the stairs. The house was too quiet and I didn't like it. I checked every room in the house and Ave was nowhere to be found. In desperation, I finally looked outside, and saw that her car wasn't in the driveway. "Damn!" I groaned. The sad part was, I knew exactly where she was. Should I wait for her to return, or should I meet her at the graveyard? Today was her first wedding anniversary with Carter, so as much as she said she loved me, this day could only bring back memories of her marriage with Carter.

She’d been anxious in the past couple of weeks. Liam had tried to get her to come back to work at the daycare. The day after her birthday, while I was at the doctors, he’d shown up at the front door with a bouquet of white daisies and a birthday card. Avery told me he’d begged her to return to the daycare, because they had good chemistry going on and then he pushed his luck further by asking her to go out on a date with him. Would he ever stop harassing my girlfriend? In an effort to get rid of him, she’d told him she had to meet me at the doctor’s office and that she needed to leave. From what she told me, he’d wanted to be invited into our house and persisted in trying to convince her. Ave had picked up her keys and purse and locked the door, all while he stood staring at her on our porch. She got into her car and raced to the doctors, with Liam following her all the way. When she saw me coming out of the building, she ran to me, crying hysterically. I wasn’t used to seeing her cry like that, because Ave is normally so strong and in control.

"What's wrong, Avery?" I asked her, worried about how upset she was.

"Liam...he... Liam stopped by with flowers. He wants me to go back to the daycare and he followed me here." She took a deep breath. "Why won’t he leave me alone? I was very clear with him when I quit that I wasn’t interested in him."

"Son of a bitch!" I cursed. I glanced around the street, but he was nowhere to be seen. My pulse reached sky-high levels and my hatred for the guy was multiplied by a million. Liam had waited for my absence to get to her, and it sure as hell wasn't okay. I despised him. I put my arms around Ave and tried to convince her that everything would be alright. Avery stayed anxious for a couple of days after his visit, she kept looking out the windows, worried that he would return or that he was spying on her.

Then another situation blew up, which stressed her all over again. June had decided to tutor Avery, and was teaching her all the secrets about being a great photographer. Avery loved the lessons and was coping really well, until June suggested that Avery was ready to handle one of her appointments. June was convinced Avery was ready to do it, she was confident Ave had the necessary skills and I thought so too. She was tasked with taking pictures of a mother and her newborn baby and nearly had a nervous breakdown over it. In hopes of helping her to calm down, I did some research on the internet and found a heap of different websites with tons of great ideas. Ave thanked me and calmed down a little bit after taking some notes. On the day of the photo shoot, she woke up at four in the morning and went for a run, but when she got home, she wasn’t able to eat, because she was so nauseous, just thinking about the shoot. I offered her a ride because I feared she was too rattled to drive. This was a new world for her, she’d been in the Army for a very long time and had faced unimaginable horrors without fear - but a photo shoot, in a safe environment with a woman and one small baby, and her mind was out of control. We held hands on our way to the studio and she seemed better by the time we got there. She kissed me goodbye and I went to my doctor's appointment. She called me after the appointment, saying it had been a piece of cake and everything went well. The tone of her voice confirmed how proud she was of herself.

A lot had happened in her life in the past twelve months, and I couldn’t wait for things to settle down and for Avery to develop a stable routine. She needed that, the tranquillity of a normal and stable life.

Over two hours had passed since I'd woken up, Avery still hadn’t made an appearance and I was getting worried. My heart told me to go and find her, to take care of her the best way I could, but my mind was warning me she needed to spend this time alone. I really believed it would help with her grief, to deal with the anniversary in the way she felt most comfortable with. Carter would always be her first real love, the man she’d agreed to marry - and I would always be her second choice. I was okay with that, because I knew our relationship was different to what she’d had with Carter. I could give things to her which she didn’t have with Carter. There was no sense of competition between Carter and me, but my main goal in life was to make her happy every single day, she deserved as much. After watching some boring movies on the TV, I cooked a nice meal for when she returned. I’d done everything I could to pass the time, but it had been five hours and I still had no news. I decided to call her, because I was too worried to do anything else.

I dialled her cell phone number and hoped she would answer after two rings like she would normally do. After four, she finally picked up but she remained silent at the other end of the line.

''Avery?'' I waited for her to say something but there was still silence. ''Sweets?''

''Babes...'' Her voice was broken and rough from crying, I hated hearing her like that.

''Are you coming home, now?''

She sniffled. ''I'll be there in two minutes.''

I hung up and went outside to wait on the porch. I couldn’t wait to see her, I was missing her and I wanted to be with her, to comfort her. When I saw her car turning into our driveway I felt relief, but when I saw her face, it shocked me. Her eyes were red, swollen and teary, which had me scared.

She parked her car, turned off the engine and started crying again. Her shoulders were shaking with her sobs. I opened the car door and pulled her out as quickly as I could, wanting to hold her in my arms. ''Avery, sweets, what's wrong?'' I had never seen her like this before. I’d expected her to be sad today, but this was more than I’d imagined.

''I'm sorry, Remy,'' she cried. ''I'm... I... I'm so sorry. I should have been with you but I went to him. I'm so lost, babes.''

I tightened my arms around her. ''I know today is a tough day, sweets. Don't be so hard on yourself.''

''I love you, Remy, so much. But today is too much for me, I don’t know if I should be sad or happy.''

I didn’t know what she was trying to say and nothing was making sense. ''What are you talking about, Avery?'' My mind and my heart broke to see her like this, so confused by her emotions and I needed to help her - I just didn't know exactly what the issue was.

''I should have come to you, babes. I'm so sorry, I don’t know why, but I ran to Carter's grave.''

Okay, she was really confusing me. I’d expected her to go to Carter’s grave today, so I couldn’t understand why she was so devastated. ''Calm down, and tell me what's going on.''

I drew back so I could have a better look at her face. She looked so worried, and whatever it was, she was only making it worse by not telling me.

''When I woke up this morning, I realized it wasn’t normal that I was late.'' She grabbed something from the pocket of her skirt and handed it to me. I looked down and saw a white plastic stick, which looked like a pencil. I turned it over and saw a small window and looked up at her in confusion. ''I'm pregnant, Remy, we’re going to have a baby.''

I heard her, but it took me a couple of seconds before I could process the words. ''You... you’re... we... we’re pregnant, sweets?'' She nodded. ''Oh my God! I'm going to be a father!'' All the anxiety I’d felt just seconds ago was gone and replaced by overwhelming happiness. I swear to God, I was the happiest man alive! I cupped her face and kissed her repeatedly, I just couldn’t get enough of her.

''I'm sorry I went to Carter before I told you, that was extremely selfish and...'' She shook her head, unable to find the right words.

Avery was anything but selfish. ''Sweets, today is your wedding anniversary, I expected you to go to Carter. It's normal, sweets. You have too many emotions to deal with, right now. I understand and I'm not mad. I love you, so very much.''

She repeated the words against my lips and we kissed once more. The tears left a salty taste to her lips, but I didn’t mind, she was mine to comfort.

''Go, get ready, sweets. I'm taking you out.'' I had to make this day memorable for her, to take away the sadness with something she could remember with happiness.

She worried about her swollen eyes, but it made no difference to me, she was gorgeous. I changed into appropriate clothes and made a last minute reservation in one of the nicest restaurants in town.

Less than an hour later, she walked out of our bedroom and left me speechless. Ave looked stunning in a turquoise summer dress, her long blonde hair falling down around her shoulders and her pale blue eyes made her look angelic. I could still see a trace of her tears in the red rims of her eyes, but it didn’t matter, she was now happy. ''You are absolutely beautiful, sweets.''

''So are you, babes,'' she smiled softly.

We walked into the restaurant and I wanted to tell the world that this beautiful woman was carrying our baby. This was definitely one of the happiest days of my life. We sat in a quiet corner of the restaurant, our hands clasped together on the table, both loathe to let each other go. I couldn’t stop staring at her, something had changed between us since the announcement of her pregnancy. Our connection was deeper and my love for her felt like it had tripled. My reflex action was to order two glasses of white wine, but I had to stop myself, knowing Ave wouldn’t want to drink now she was pregnant. The waitress offered us two glasses of cold water when she brought the menus. Avery was looking at the menu, turning the pages as she decided what she’d like, but I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I loved her so much, I couldn’t find the words to say how strong my love was for her.