Lost Honor (7 page)

“Mark.”

He jerked his red face to hers, guilt written on the surface.

“Why are you here?”

His Adam’s apple bobbed. “The captain sent me to help you.”

Of course, he wouldn’t trust her to accomplish this task by herself. Men never thought women were capable beings. Sending Mark away and completing the task herself would prove to Captain Danvers she was as skillful as any man in his crew, but he had commanded Mark and the boy wouldn’t disobey an order. She refused to ask him to do so.

And she appreciated Mark’s company.

“I know what I’m wearing isn’t quite what you are used to, but it’s necessary.”

He shuffled his feet as he glanced at her legs, again.

“Do you agree?”

His gaze darted back to her face, and he nodded with a swift rise and fall of his head.

“Good. I haven’t gotten very far, and I could use an extra pair of hands.”

****

The golden sun—the color of Arianna’s hair—hovered above the horizon as Morgan battled to forget the woman who had overtaken his mind. Even though he had attended to his duties in a stricter fashion than usual, he could not shove her from his mind.

Was she safe?

Mark worked with her. Nothing would happen without him knowing about it, but still his thoughts drifted to the hold.

Where they shouldn’t be.

Susan. The images he conjured should only be of her. After all, they would wed as soon as he returned. They would be joined now if he hadn’t needed to rescue his reckless brother. Morgan didn’t love her, but their families had been friends for as long as he could remember, and on her deathbed, his mother had made them both promise they would marry each other. And he always kept his promises, especially to his mother.

He didn’t hold a special affection for anyone else. His business, sisters, brother, and mother before she died captured his time. Women fulfilled his needs when the urge struck, but no emotions other than momentary pleasure accompanied the act. And he would have to marry at some point. So why not Susan? A woman he knew well and respected.

And the sister of his closest friend, Andrew.

Her dark brown hair, green eyes, and pleasing nature contrasted sharply with the virago below. Susan would manage his house, bear his children, and attend to his every need. What more could a man desire? In return, he would protect her and make sure she wanted for nothing. And he would never betray her as his father had his family. Love need not enter into the matter. It would only complicate things. Relationships worked best if they remained simple.

The sun dipped lower. Arianna should be done by now. She must work faster if she wanted to be a seaman.

He would remind her of that fact.

Now.

As he descended into the hold he didn’t see either Arianna or Mark, but he knew they were there. Their loud voices called back and forth, their tone serious and intent. And then she appeared before him. On top of a crate with a number of them stacked below. His heart leaped into his throat. She would break her bloody neck.

He rushed to the spot where Arianna precariously balanced. With the racket they made, apparently she didn’t hear him because she didn’t turn. Or she ignored him, which he wouldn’t put pass the impudent woman. Standing below her, he angled his head up. “What the bloody hell are you doing?”

She jumped as his voice boomed out, louder than he had intended. Fear for her safety gripped him. She teetered on the edge, swinging her arms, attempting to catch her balance, first tipping one way and then the other.

She almost righted herself. Or so he thought. Until she fell with a cry of dismay. He positioned himself and held out his arms, refusing to allow her to crash to the floor, even though she deserved it.

The light weight dropped into his arms with a soft flop and an expulsion of air. Fiery blue eyes stared at him.

“Why did you do that?” she shot out once she caught her breath.

“Do what? I saved your life.”

“Crept up on me, startled me, and made me fall.”

He shifted her in his arm, cradling her warm body closer to his. “You shouldn’t have been up there in the first place.”

“I was only following…” Her lovely eyes grew wide, lighting the darkness. “Put me down this instant.”

He liked her exactly where she was. “I don’t think so. You are safer in my arms.”

Arianna kicked her legs. “It’s unseemly for a seaman or me to be in your arms. Put me down.”

“Are you issuing orders, again? I could have you flogged for disobedience.”

He would never harm a woman, but she didn’t know that. Females were called the weaker sex, but in her case, he wondered.

“You wouldn’t do that.” Her voice grew small. “Would you?”

He smiled inwardly with satisfaction. Fear. It might help to manage her wild behavior. He set her on her feet with regret, his cold arms empty and forlorn. “You want to be a seaman, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes.” She frowned. “Captain.”

“Then that encompasses every aspect.”

“She really wasn’t…” Mark spoke up in her defense until Morgan swung toward him, his face carved into the mask he used on disobedient men. Mark’s mouth snapped shut.

“You can leave us now.”

“Aye, Captain.”

Arianna turned to follow. Morgan clamped his hand on her shoulder. “You wait here.”

****

Arianna’s stomach quivered as Mark marched away, looking back over his shoulder with a sympathetic expression. She didn’t want to be left alone with Captain Danvers. His chocolate-colored eyes had turned dark and dangerous, and he had threatened to flog her.

Unfortunately, all he had said was true. Seamen on her papa’s and brothers’ ships were flogged for disobedience or clamped in irons. Neither thought was pleasant. A fact she only now remembered. She spun, straightened her shoulders, and pulled herself up to her full height. She wouldn’t show fear.

Captain Danvers released her and eyed her up and down. And then his gaze shot to her lower half. He stared at her legs in amazement, his body stiffer than usual if that was possible. “What the bloody hell are you wearing?”

“What you told me to, Captain.”

“Not in that manner, I didn’t.”

Her face burned. She didn’t want him to see any more of her than necessary—she didn’t trust him—but now it was too late. “But—”

“Fix it.”

With trembling fingers that flew, she yanked the hem from her waist, and tugged it down. She straightened the garment and brushed at the wrinkles at a brisk pace. Satisfied he could find no fault, she returned to her rigid stance.

And waited.

And waited.

The groaning of timber, the flap of the sails, the swish of water, and the clang of metal surrounded her but not the captain’s deep voice. Would he flog her? Was she strong enough to bite back her screams and not beg for mercy? She had never seen a man flogged. Her papa had ordered her to remain in her cabin whenever he meted out a punishment. But she had heard the moans and cries of the men, the whip as it slashed through the air, and the tearing of flesh when it landed. Her stomach collapsed upon itself and bile rose. How many times would it slice open her back?

With her legs quaking beneath her skirt, her rapid, shallow breathing and the galloping of her heart drowned out all sounds as her mind conjured disgusting, frightening images. She clasped her hands together in front of her, her knuckles white. How long would he make her wait to learn of her punishment?

She couldn’t stand it any longer. “Captain.”

“Quiet.”

She fell silent again, terrified of antagonizing him further. Arianna glanced at him to gauge his mood and found him staring at her, his face expressionless. She dropped her lids. She was sure the fear that filled her showed in her eyes, and she didn’t wish him to learn of her terror. She must portray bravery and courage. At least attempt to.

“Arianna.”

She jumped.

“Come here.”

His calm, even, controlled voice betrayed nothing.

She shuffled a half step forward.

He huffed in frustration. “Two steps more.”

Her body almost touched his. Heat radiated from him, burning into her. She inhaled his unique scent of spice, the ocean, coffee, and authority and confidence. Her anxiety now mixed with an awareness new to her.

Placing a commanding finger beneath her chin, he lifted her head. “Arianna, look at me.”

She had no choice but to comply. Her gaze landed on his mouth. Mesmerized, an insane urge filled her to touch the smooth flesh with her fingers and feel the moist fire of his lips against her own.

She must be insane. He spoke of punishing her, and she yearned for his kisses. Tearing her gaze away, she stared into his unreadable eyes.

“Do you still want to be a seaman, Arianna?”

“Yes, Captain.”

His lips tightened. “Why?”

She had never told a living soul the real reason, but no one had ever asked her why. Only insisted she couldn’t.

“I met a lady begging in the streets with her three daughters and two sons. The children’s cheeks were sunken, their eyes haunted, and they wore dirty, ragged garments much too small for them. She once had a husband, a fine house, and wealth. When her husband died, they had to sell all they owned to pay the debts he had incurred, and they were left penniless. She had no family that would take her in or a way to feed her children, except to sell her body, which she was loathed to do. I convinced my papa to give her a job, but their faces and situation have always haunted me. I vowed to never allow that to happen to me. I want to be self-sufficient and able to care for my children without a man. Since I love the sea and know it well, I chose to become a seaman.”

He gazed deep into her eyes but revealed nothing of himself. “You have a family that loves you.”

“I refuse to depend on their generosity.”

“Another captain would never hire a woman.”

“I won’t give up. Disguised as a boy, no one will realize I am a woman.”

His gaze roamed her face and glowed with a fierce light. “Believe me, they will know.”

She refused to debate the matter. He could not make her change her mind, and he would not change his. She jerked her chin from his steady finger. “I am a seaman on the
Sea Dragon
. What is my punishment?”

Captain Danvers dropped his hand to his side. “Right now, you will scrub the deck and forgo supper.”

“I already did.”

“Do it again.”

Her eyes widened. That is all. She almost collapsed in relief. Hunger and tiredness she could deal with, especially if it removed her from his disturbing presence.

“You are dismissed.”

She turned back to the crates.

“Arianna, the deck is in the other direction.”

She bent and picked up the cargo manifest that had fallen to the ground. “I haven’t finished here.”

“Yes, you have.”

Not daring to press her good luck, even though she was annoyed she couldn’t complete what she started, she threw the manifest on a crate, whirled, and headed toward the ladder leading to the main deck. When time allowed, she would sneak down, finish her calculations, and prove to Captain Danvers the reason she sailed on the
Sea Dragon
was due to an error made by a member of his crew.

****

Morgan ogled the sway of Arianna’s backside as she marched away. How could she think a man with blood flowing through his veins would mistake her for a male? Impossible. Without even trying, she exuded a seductive essence that enticed and compelled. He struggled to keep his hands from caressing her. The skin beneath her chin was as soft as the fur of a kitten and her lips called to him with a plumpness and dew that made them shine. If she hadn’t jerked her chin from his grasp, he would have kissed her to discover if their allure was real. If they tasted as good as they promised.

And her eyes, the color of a bluebird’s wing, had sparkled in fear with defiance and courage mixed in. She was brave. Even though she feared his intentions, and he hadn’t spoken to heighten her anxiety, she hadn’t begged for leniency, cried for forgiveness, or given up her crazy plan.

But was it so irrational now he understood her reasoning?

Yes. The way of the world wouldn’t allow her to prosper or even give her a chance in a man’s position. Even if she could do the job, which he was positive she couldn’t. The size of her told him that much.

He followed her and spied her already hard at work, swabbing the deck, silhouetted by the setting sun. Every ounce of determination and energy she possessed filled any job she tackled. He couldn’t fault her for that. Would she show that same enthusiasm when she lay with a man? Somehow, he thought so.

He strode to the quarterdeck where he would watch over her. He wouldn’t permit her to labor unguarded.