Lost in Flight (20 page)

“What?”

“Oh yeah,” grimaced Christina.  “There’s a funny story about that.  Actually, it’s not funny, not even a little bit.”  If the subject was ever brought up, Christina quashed it as quickly as possible. 

“It’s just that everyone thought you were like Romeo and Juliet,” sighed Gabby.  “Or Patrick Verona and Kat Stratford.  You know - some kind of really great, romantic, tragic love story.” 

“Hmmm.  No,” snorted Christina.  The thought was ludicrous.  “If we’re going Shakespeare probably more like Hamlet and Ophelia.  If we’re talking pop culture:  Kurt and Courtney or Buffy and Angel – when Angel lost his soul, and went to hell.”

Gabby looked down and then up at her sister.  “Um, did you guys make a sex tape?” 

Christina stared at her and said, “NO,” vehemently.  “We didn’t realize they had security cameras in that part of the building.” 

“So there was a sex tape?”

“By accident!  We didn’t set out to make one.  Riley had to go get it.  He beat the crap out of the guy until he handed it over.  He hadn’t made any copies thank god.  They hadn’t gone digital and it was before EVERYTHING got uploaded to the Net.”

Gabby’s mouth turned down in displeasure, and she asked stiffly.  “Did you have sex in the Park?  When Dave and Mandy got married?”

“NO.  We didn’t have sex in the park.  Technically, we had sex AT the park in Riley’s truck.  We started fighting and then making up in the park, but we finished in his truck.” 

“People saw you,” shrieked Gabby.

“No they didn’t,” Christina said calmly.  “The windows were pretty steamed up.  Maybe the movements of the truck gave it away, but they didn’t see us-see us.  You make us sound like we’re perverts.”

“Perverts?  No - just people who were completely crazy about one another.  I remember some of it, but not all of it.” 

Christina shrugged her shoulders.  “I doubt anyone knows all of it - not even me and Riley.  He has his perspective.  I have mine.  We were young, dumb and…” 

“Full of cum?”

“I wasn’t going to say that, Gabby.  More like:  we were young, dumb, and in love.  We weren’t mature enough to make it work.  Love just wasn’t enough.  If it was, we’d have lasted.”

“So what happened? Did he cheat on you?  Beat you or something?” 

Riley may have been a lot of things, but he wasn’t a cheater or a beater when they were together.  Christina found herself in the odd position of being defensive of the slight on his character.  “God no,” Christina said.  “We didn’t cheat on each other when we were together-together and there was no beating.  I did hit him in the balls once and slap him, and throw stuff, but no.  Riley isn’t like that.”

Gabby had a particular gift for uncovering secrets and honing in on points in discussion that no one wanted to talk about.  Staring intently at Christina, she asked, “So you beat on him?” 

“I did not beat on him!” 

“It sounds like you did.  I don’t understand…” said Gabby.

“Well, it’s complicated…” 

“Which is usually code for making shit up to justify bad behavior.”

Christina looked at her sister and laughed.  “You may have a point there.  Gabby,
it is
complicated okay and it was really intense.  It’s painful too – you know.  We drove each other crazy.  I couldn’t live with him.  He couldn’t live with me.  We just ended up fighting all the time.  It wasn’t a happy time.  No one was happy with us marrying.  Mom especially, she wanted me to do something more with my life than be a teenage housewife.” 

“You mean like Mom was?” 

“Mom wasn’t a teenage housewife.”

“Well, she was close,” said Gabby. 

“No she wasn’t.  She was in her early twenties when she and Dad got married.  Johnny came two or three years after.” 

“Did Mom persuade you - to break up with Riley?” 

Christina’s shook her head, “No.  She. Did. Not.  That’s unfair.  I know he thinks that way, but she just highlighted my options.” 

“And Riley didn’t fit in with them?”

“Riley didn’t
want
to fit in with them.  I asked him to come with me to D.C. and he said no.”

Gabby looked at her with eyes wide in shock.  “No shit?  I always thought you just dumped him and left.”

“Technically, he broke up with me – the first time.  I asked for a divorce.  He refused, and then he left me this
horrible
poem-letter thing - with freaky artwork –that was just so
horrible
.  To this day I don’t know what he meant by it.”

“Sounds disturbing,” murmured Gabby.

“It was, but in those days he was right into that sort of stuff and it was always macabre... and scary.  He was Mr. intense-freaky-guy.”

“Is that why you broke up with him because he was like intense and freaky?”

Christina giggled.  “No.  I really liked his intensity and passion.  It was all the other shit – up close and personal when you live with someone – that drove me crazy.  I know it’s stupid, but things like washing your man’s underpants when you’re 18.  It’s a real romance-killer and he was sooooo messy.  He was messier than Johnny.”

Gabby frowned.  “So let me get this straight… you broke up with him because you had to wash his under things and he was messy?”

Christina groaned.  “Noooo.  I was being symbolic.  I mean – what the hell, Gabby?  Who would divorce someone over underpants?  Seriously?” 

“Well, it depends,” started Gabby.  “I mean if they had ‘marks’ on them – I wouldn’t like that.  That’s icky.”

Christina stared at her sister.  This was an interesting revelation and a bit tangential for her liking.  “Can we get off the subject of Riley’s boxers?  It wasn’t about his underwear – for god’s sake.  It was about a difference in what type of futures we wanted.” 

“You know,” Gabby said with a frown, “your futures – or the lives you’ve got now, don’t seem too different to me.  You’re a lawyer and he’s Mr. rich guy.  You’re almost a matching pair.”

Christina gaped at Gabby.  She’d never thought about it that way and she supposed it could be viewed like that, but you’d never have predicted this result from the paths they’d taken.  She pursed her lips together and was careful with what she was about to say.

“Relationships or breakdowns of relationships, Gabby, happen in stages.  At the time we broke up, Riley wasn’t like he is now.  He wanted me to stay at home and join the band when it got successful.  He was a lot more old-fashioned than people realize.  He wanted a house – kids – and life to continue pretty much how it was.  I didn’t want to.  I wanted something
different
.  He’s different now, but that’s how it was then.”

“Are you saying he’s a misogynist?”  Gabby gaped at her, “I find that hard to believe.”

Christina shook her head.  “No.  I don’t think he’s a complete misogynist or anything like that, although I do think he’s a pig.” 

Seeing the look on Gabby’s face, Christina corrected herself.  “Okay.  That was harsh, but he was pretty fixed on what I
should
be doing with my life – without hearing what I wanted.  He didn’t want me being on the road with him, but it didn’t stop him from going.  He’d just leave me there – in the farmhouse.  I thought I was slowly dying, watching my life slip through my fingers.  Then, Mom got sick and I couldn’t have left even if I wanted to.”

“Wow.”  Gabby breathed.

“Then Mom died and he wouldn’t come to D.C., so… I decided to go anyway.  He didn’t want me to, so I kind of gave him an ultimatum and our own little private war began.” 

“I wouldn’t call it private, Dina.  It’s been pretty public and there were plenty of casualties.  Well, what set it off?”

Christina sighed, got up and stretched.  She turned her back on Gabby saying to the wall.  “I pushed it too far.  I served him with surprise divorce papers and he wasn’t, agh, very receptive to that.” 

“Oh God,” whispered Gabby.

“Yeah.  ‘Oh God’ is a good description for it.” 

“You didn’t tell him they were coming?”

Christina’s eyes flicked to Gabby.  Her sister was staring at her in disbelief.  “Nope.  I wanted to shock him into making a decision.  You know, I think I achieved that.”  Sitting back down in the chair, Christina gave her little sister a tight smile saying, “I really don’t want to lay any of this on you.  You have enough to deal with and it’s boring.” 

Gabby looked at her.  “Not to me.  I’ve got nothing but time on my hands, Dina, and I asked.  I want you to tell me.  I’ve never asked Riley.  I wanted to hear it from you, because YOU are my big sister.”

Christina was touched by Gabby’s words.  She needed to hear that she was an important part of her family.  She’d been distant from them for so long and with good reason, but she wanted that connection and assurance that she belonged.  Right now, she felt like she was being sidelined and they were building a life that excluded her, but included Riley.

“Um, Dina,” Gabby said, “did you, you know,
have to
get married?”

Christina stared at her for a bit and then laughed.  “No.  No-no-no-no-no.  We wanted to – crazy I know, considering how things turned out.  Dad found Riley and me in bed – naked – together.  If he’d been any earlier, he would have got the whole show.” 

Gabby started to giggle, setting off Christina.  “Dad went crazy,” giggled Christina, “I know it’s not funny, but he threw Riley out, put bars on my bedroom window – seriously – locks on all the doors.” 

“I remember that,” laughed Gabby.  “The locks on the doors and the bars on your windows - Mom said it was because there were thieves in the neighborhood.” 

“Thieves - in Shanwick?  Oh that’s hilarious!  Horny teenagers more like it and it still didn’t keep us away from each other.  If it were thieves, we would have known who they were.”  Christina sighed.  “I got grounded right?  After Dad found us naked, well, I was about a month off being 18 and we didn’t want to be apart.  So, we waited until the day after my birthday, so we didn’t need parental permission.  Then we ran off and got married.  We got married in old clothes from second hand stores.  Mandy, Bonnie and I looked like ‘hooker waitresses’ and the guys looked like freaks.” 

Both Martin sisters looked at each other and cringe giggled.  Christina said, “Yeah.  No one was happy.  We had a family meeting with Riley’s parents and his brother.  They were so angry.  Well they don’t really do angry, but you know what I mean.  They kept saying things like ‘disappointed’.  Mom did all the yelling.”

Christina screwed her face up at the memories because even after all this time they still made her wince.  “None of our parents would support us financially.  They wanted to teach us a lesson.  We didn’t think any of it through.  They said if we were old enough to get married we were old enough to take care of ourselves.  Riley went psycho.  Told them all to go F themselves and we stormed out.” 

“Hold up,” queried Gabby, “but the Rileys let you live in the farmhouse”?

Christina nodded.  “Yes – they did.  They were kind to do that, but we had to support ourselves.  You know… you never think of all the little things like, um, food… when you’re trying to live on romance.”

Gabby giggled.  “Shit got real huh?”

Christina rolled her eyes and grinned. “Oh, yeah.  We never had enough money and Riley didn’t care.  It-just-didn’t-bother-him, but it drove me insane.  He went away to work and we hardly saw each other.  When we did, we just fought all the time and I couldn’t deal with it anymore.  I wanted out.  It felt like I was drowning in misery.” 

“Dina, where did Johnny stand in all this”? 

Christina shrugged.  “He did his best, but he wanted to keep right out of it, especially when it all went to hell.  He used to say he was neutral – like Sweden.  I told him he meant Switzerland, but geography and sane women were never his strong suits.” 

They both started laughing.  Johnny really did march to the beat of his own drum or guitar.  Little phased or bothered him; especially minor details like the correct names of countries.  “You know - he still calls himself ‘Sweden’ to this day.”  Both Martin sisters laughed even harder.

Gabby said, “How did it end?”

Christina winced.  “Bad.”

“Want to tell me about it?” 

Christina shook her head. “Not really, but I’ll tell you some of it.  Buckle up and get comfy.  Um, do you remember when I left for college?”

Gabby shrugged.  “Kind of.” 

“Well, just before I left for college I made an appointment with a divorce lawyer and this is when the shit really did get real.” 

Chapter Thirteen – Boarding passes

Christina, Shanwick, The Past, July 2004 (Seven and a half years ago)

When an almost 21-year-old grief stricken Christina made her way to Wenatchee to consult a divorce lawyer, she was not in a good place.  Riley and Christina had been married two years when her mother was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer.  Mom had been given three months to live and she lasted six.  She died with her family standing around her bedside, frozen in grief.

Shortly before her mother passed away, she asked Christina to make a promise that she would go to college or just do something with her life.  Mom told her that she’d made a mistake with Riley, but that everyone makes mistakes. It was how you rectified them that really mattered.  One of Christina’s fondest memories from this time, possibly the only one, was showing her mother the acceptance letters for college.  Her mother was ecstatic, but she died before Christina attended. 

Riley came to her mother’s funeral and stood with his arms around her, telling her how sorry he was.  “I’m here for you babe – forever - whatever you need.”  

Christina got up the next morning, packed her bags and left him.  Riley didn’t realize she’d left him permanently.  To his credit, he had given her all the space and time she needed to spend with her family.  He hadn’t pressured or even fought with her, but it wasn’t enough.  She felt they were going nowhere. 

She moved back into her parents home to take care of her Dad and Gabby.  Gabby was nearly 16 and Dad appeared shell-shocked.  Johnny spent his time split between the garage and his friends’ place, constantly stoned.  He was unreachable and Christina felt like she was drowning.  Her family was falling apart in front of her and she didn’t have the skills to put them back together.