Love and Fire (3 page)

Jake
looked at them and then turned to Tammy.  “Tammy Smith, this is…well…I
apologize…I seem to have forgotten you both already.” 

The
insult wasn’t lost on Tammy and she hid her amusement by wiping her mouth with
the cloth napkin.  The little blonde was barely aware, but her friend’s eyes
narrowed and her coloring darkened a shade. 

“That’s
understandable!  Lots of people to meet and all!  I’m Christy and this is
Sloan.” 

“Right. 
This is Tammy Smith.” He said and indicated Tammy casually with his hand. 
Tammy stood to shake hands with the women, but they looked at her as if she
were a poisonous snake.  “Maybe we should all go to this Lagoon.” 

Christy
looked surprised and confused as her eyes darted from Jake to Tammy.  Sloan
allowed a slow smile to spread across her face.  “I don’t think she’d like
it.” 

Tammy
had had enough.  “It was a pleasure meeting all of you, but I have some other
places on board that I would like to see.”  She nodded to each of them and
walked away with as much dignity as she could muster.  She didn’t see Jake
watching her leave; his eyes pinned to her back, and Sloan’s frown as she too
watched her leave. 

Tammy
closed her eyes once she was out in the hallway.  It wasn’t really a hallway. 
It was the huge foyer area from when she had first boarded.  Who did those
girls think they were?  Who did she think she
was
?  She had no business
on board this type of cruise.  She needed to be somewhere that offered shuffle
board and bingo. 

The
next day was going to be a day at sea.  A list of activities were posted, as
well as printed on the paper she was given.  She wandered to the board and took
in the list. 

Buffet
breakfast at 8am.

Yoga
for beginners at 9am on Deck C. 

Aerobics
also at 9am on Deck B.

Dance
classes at 10am in the main ball room.

Pizza
party lunch at 12pm on Deck C.

Poetry
reading in the library at 2pm. 
Library.  How very interesting.
 

Author
Jake Butler speaking on his craft at 2:30pm in the Library. 
Jake Butler!
 Tammy
shook her head slightly. 
Of course.  Jake Butler writes horror. 
Horror
wasn’t Tammy’s style, so she had never actually read one of his books.  Why
wouldn’t they have a romance writer on board to give a talk?  It was almost
Valentine’s, and it was a singles cruise after all.  Tammy noticed a rather
large gift shop just beyond the board she had been reading.  She walked in and
looked for a book section.  There was a sizeable selection along with magazines
and puzzle books.  Just as she expected, there were two of Jake Butler’s books for
sale.  They were stacked in back to back displays on the same table.

“Isn’t
it exciting that he will be speaking tomorrow?” 

Tammy
turned to see the smiling store clerk.  She was a light skinned black woman
with an absolutely contagious smile.  Tammy was relieved to see she was at
least her age.  “I haven’t read any of his work.” 

The
clerk didn’t look surprised.  “The two here are his most recent, but there’s an
older book that will make your hair stand on end and curl!”  She walked to the
other books and began to trace an imaginary line over the spines.  “What
luck?”  She said as she turned around with a thick paperback in her hands. 

Tammy
looked at the cover.  It was all black but the faint outline of head stones and
a deeply cloudy sky could be seen.  The title was
Voice of the Damned.
 
“I don’t read horror.  I don’t like the gore.” 

“Honey,
this is real horror.  Not the gimmicky stuff written only for the big screen
later.  He writes like the old school gothic writers.  Have you ever read Henry
James, or Anne Rice?” 

“Henry
James, yes.”

She
nodded.  “His writing isn’t just for shock value.  It’s like he…”  She turned
her head upwards and closed her eyes.  “It’s a broken tortured soul spilling
onto paper.” 

“Wow!” 
Tammy laughed.  “
You
should be a writer!”

“No,
not me.  I just like to read the books, no patience to create them!” 

Tammy
liked this smiling woman.  She had light freckles across her nose and closely
cropped graying hair.  She wished she were a guest aboard and not an employee. 
Tammy would have enjoyed a companion like her.  She glanced at her name tag. 
“Alright, Mia, I’ll take it!”

“You
won’t be disappointed!” she winked.  

“Is
this type of guest odd for a single’s cruise?” 

Mia
tilted her head to the side and frowned slightly.  “It is a little.  I just
figured it was because he’s so popular with the younger crowds.”  Her face took
on an apologetic expression.  “Not that anyone couldn’t read his work.” 

Tammy
laughed and shook her head.  “It’s ok.  I know someone my age is the minority
on board.” 

Mia’s
eyes widened.  “You may be in the minority, but you’re beautiful and have
obvious class!  Have you
seen
some of the trash walking around this
ship?” 

Tammy’s
mind flashed to the bubbly Christy and her evil sidekick Sloan.  A bitter laugh
escaped her lips.  “I’ve seen…some sights so far that’s for sure.” 

Tammy
decided to call it a night and returned to her room.  The ocean was peaceful
and she stood on her personal balcony enjoying the warm salty breeze.  Once she
was back in her room, she snuggled under the covers with her knees bent and
opened the book.  She doubted she would like it, but she thought why not give
it a try?  It wasn’t everyday she met a famous drop dead gorgeous author. 

Tammy
lost track of time as her mind melded with the book.  When she did look at the
clock it was after 1am.  She had read over two hundred pages, greedily.  She
flipped back to a passage that had caught her eye. 

Time
was neither distant nor near.  The recently turned earth smelled of spring and
promise, as it cradled the empty shell of a life destroyed.

Jake
Butler had epitomized how she felt about her life.  Who would have thought that
a horror writer could write like that?  “Don’t judge a book by its cover.”  She
said aloud as she flipped the book over and studied the cover again.  Mia had
been right.   He did write like a broken tortured soul, spilling onto paper. 
Bleeding
onto the paper. 
Tammy sighed and stretched.  He may be a gifted man, on
many levels, yet he would never be someone she could talk to.  He must be
extremely shallow and vain to attract women like Christy and Sloan. 

Tammy
slid the book onto her bedside table and cut off the light.  As she closed her
eyes, she promised herself that she would forget the handsome man with his
chocolate eyes.  She would participate in the activities and try to have a good
time.  Maybe she would go hear him speak, but only because his writing was
intriguing, not because she wanted to see the clean angles of his face and the
fullness of his lips again….

Jake
was drunk.  He leaned over the railing and watched the ocean not be pushed out
of the way by the boat, but rather in his mind, it moved graciously aside for
the foreign cumbersome object to pass.  His mind churned and he could feel a
headache coming on.  Tomorrow he would have to speak to giddy passengers about
the craft of writing fiction.  What was there to say?  You make up a story and
put it on paper.  Sometimes you have to pick at a scar or open a vein to give
the words your very life blood, something they could feed on so they could come
alive. 

Would
he tell any of them that he hadn’t written in over a year?  That his recent
book was actually penned sixteen months ago?   Would he tell them that his
agent was sweating bullets and chewing extra Tums because of him?  No.  He
would tell them that being a writer was glamorous and fun.  He would gift them
his enticing smile and witty words, and watch as Maxwell would nod nervously as
bimbos in too small bikinis would break their necks to buy a copy or two and
brashly push the book and their boobs in his face at the book signing.  All
with the hopes of snagging the brooding and wealthy Jake Butler.  They were all
the same. 

His
mind wandered back to Tammy Smith.  She possessed quiet beauty. It was sexy as
hell, and she didn’t show an ounce of cleavage to achieve it.  Hell, her dress
wasn’t even tight!  It fit just right; hugging her hips and rear at precisely
the right places.  Her auburn hair and almond shaped hazel eyes almost caused
him to pull out his laptop to try and capture what he was seeing through
descriptive words.  Almost.  He wanted talk to her.  He wanted to hear her
lilting gentle voice again.  He wanted to
know her. 
       

The
next morning dawned bright.  A hopeful Tammy rose and showered, before heading
to the breakfast buffet.  She had chosen khaki mid-thigh shorts.  A pink t
shirt and her brand new Nikes.  Melissa was big on name brands, but Tammy
always figured a dollar saved was a dollar earned, and never shopped by brand
unless it was part of a clearance rack.  She loved to shop, that was a fact,
but it was the chase of the bargain that she enjoyed the most.  It was
satisfying to be able to show someone how much she saved.    

She
decided the night before that she would keep breakfast light, and attend the
Yoga for beginner’s class.  She had always wanted to try Yoga.  She felt free. 
It was the first full day of the cruise and she no longer thought she didn’t
belong.  There was plenty for her to do.  She didn’t need to find a man to be
happy. 

She
noticed that several of the passengers perusing the buffet table looked like
they needed strong coffee and aspirin more than food.  She shook her head and
speared a strawberry with her fork.  Poor kids.  They needed to learn how to
pace themselves. 

The
day moved along at a delightful pace.  After Yoga and a nice tour of the ship,
it was time for lunch.  Afterward Tammy had indulged herself by stretching out
on a lounge chair on deck and reading more of Jake Butler’s book.  She hadn’t
caught sight of him all day and was grateful.  Something about the man unnerved
her.  Maybe it was his girlfriends.  It didn’t matter, she was having a good
time, and soon it would be time for the poetry reading in the library.  She
decided she would stick around to hear the man speak, but only out of curiosity. 
Morbid curiosity. 

The
library was packed, mainly with women.  Tammy was happy to see that the ages
were varied.  The library didn’t have a lot of books, it was more of a reading
quiet space; or a place for passengers to sit with their computers if they
wanted to.  She chose a spot near to the front of the designated speaking
area.  The poetry was light, nothing too heavy.  The heavy stuff was being
reserved for Jake Butler she supposed.  At 2:25 the hustle began to prepare for
him to speak.  No one left, and Tammy knew that they all had sat through the
poetry reading just to get to Jake Butler. 

A
table was quickly pulled out and his books were rapidly stacked.  Another table
was brought out for him to sit at for signing.  It was all done with efficient
movements.  A tall woman in white, an obvious cruise employee, took the
microphone and announced Jake. 

He
walked from somewhere in the back of the area wearing jeans and a polo shirt. 
The light color of the shirt contrasted perfectly with his tan skin.  Women
were audibly sighing.  Tammy took the opportunity to roll her eyes.  He flashed
his award winning smile and waved to the crowd.  The applause was just
beginning to taper off when his eyes met hers.  It was subtle but she could see
the surprise move across his face.  Did his smile actually broaden for a
moment, seeming more real?  Was that really a slight tilt of his head towards
her in acknowledgement of her presence?  Tammy didn’t have time to think about
it as he moved right into his presentation.  It didn’t take long.  He talked
about his love for words.  He told them how he turned that love into a
lucrative career after he left the modeling business.  It all seemed phony to
Tammy.  She could feel an undercurrent of words left unsaid.  She sensed there
was something vital that he wanted to say but couldn’t.  His eyes moved towards
her several times, but he didn’t allow them to linger. 

When
it was over he positioned himself at the table for the signing.  A line formed
immediately.  Tammy could have taken the opportunity to leave, but she remained,
taking a place in the back of the line.  She listened to the murmurings of the
women in front and behind her.  It was accolades more towards his good looks
than to his written accomplishments.  She pulled the book of his from her bag
and saw that it had the announcement of, “Twelve weeks on the New York Times
Best Seller List!”  She wondered if any of these people knew that. 

By
the time she stepped up to the table, he looked weary.  His smile had the
cracked look of someone insincere.  As she stepped forward his face took on a
different expression.  There was amusement but curiosity as well. 

“I’m
shocked, Tammy Smith.”

“Why
is that?”

He
shrugged.  “I didn’t take you for the horror fan.”  They stared at each other
for a moment.  A woman behind her tried to peek around  her shoulder to see
what the holdup was.  “I see you don’t have a copy of my book.”