Love and Fire (7 page)

Tammy
interrupted him with her hands on his chest.  “Okay, okay!  I get it!  I’ll be
ready in fifteen minutes.”  She laughed. 

“Should
I wait here?”  

“Go
on to the buffet.  I’ll be down soon.” 

Jake
stole a kiss from her cheek before slipping back through the door. 

Saint
Thomas is not only known for its near perfect tropical beauty, it’s also known
for its massive shopping.  Tammy could hear several women talking about the
things they were going to look for, she overheard two men discussing golfing,
and wondered what Jake had in store for them.  She saw him at the far side of
the room.  He had a plate in front of him and one across that she assumed was
for her. 

“I
hope you like what I picked out for you.”  He said as she approached the table
and pulled out a chair for her.  Her plate had a couple of mini blueberry
muffins, scrambled eggs and bacon.  He walked back to the buffet area and got
two cups of coffee for them. 

“This
looks wonderful.” She said.  She had forgotten that they really hadn’t eaten
dinner at the
Casa de Fuego
the night before.  They had shared a couple
appetizers, but hadn’t actually eaten a real meal.  She was starving. 

“So,
what are we doing today?” 

Jake
grinned like a school boy with a secret.  “Can you swim?  I guess I should have
asked that before.” 

“Yes,
I can.” 

“Good! 
We’re going snorkeling in the coral reefs!” 

Tammy’s
eyes widened.  “That sounds wonderful!  I have always wanted to do that!” 

Jake
looked pleased as he ate more of his breakfast.

“You
know I once tried to paint a picture of a coral reef.  It didn’t turn out so
well.  I guess photographs just don’t do it justice.” 

“You
paint?”

She
shrugged and nibbled on one of the muffins.  “I did.  I draw some too, but I
haven’t for a while now.” 

“That’s
incredible!  I hope I can see some of your work.” 

Tammy
watched him eat, as she sipped her coffee.  Her art obviously wasn’t on board. 
His hoping to see it indicated he wanted to see her beyond the cruise.  The
thought made her uneasy.  She didn’t even know where he lived. 

“Where
do you live?” 

“I
have a condo in New York.”  He laughed suddenly.  “I don’t know where you live
either!” 

“Orange,
Virginia.” 

“Is
that near Shenandoah?  I went hiking there once.” 

Tammy
smiled thoughtfully.  “Yes, it’s fairly close.” 

“Wow,
it’s pretty in that area.  You must love the fact that you have that view every
day.” 

“I
do, but the small town gossip has me thinking I should move somewhere else. 
Gleason, my husband, drove nearly an hour every day to teach at the University of
Virginia.” 

“You
should stop calling him that.” 

“What? 
My husband?” 

Jake
nodded. 

“Technically
he still is.  What’s the matter?  Does it make you jealous?”  She tried to
tease, forcing a smile. 

“Yes.” 
His matter of fact tone and the seriousness of his face, wiped the smile from
hers.  “He doesn’t deserve to be called your husband.” 

“Were
you ever married?” 

“No,
but I was engaged once.”  He tossed his napkin on the table and leaned back in
the chair.  “Her name was Paola.”  He said quietly. 

“It
didn’t work out?” 

“Obviously
not.  It was my fault really.  She wasn’t much younger than myself.  She was a
beautiful woman from Spain that was working for the first publishing company
that I had just quit.  I met her when I came into the office to finalize the
dissolution of my contract.” 

Tammy
could sense that what he was telling her was something that needed telling.  It
was cathartic, and she was determined to not interrupt.

“Anyway,
we hit it off from the start.  It was whirlwind really.  Unfortunately, I just
wasn’t ready for something that serious, and she was
too ready
.  I
should have seen the signs that something was very wrong.  I just thought she
was becoming too clingy and needy.  I thought if I just ignored it, maybe I
could somehow break her from it by distancing myself from her.  Now that was a
real trick since we were living together.” 

He
stopped and sighed, turning his head away from Tammy and looking somewhere in
the distance.  She knew he wasn’t seeing his current surroundings, he had gone
back in time right before her eyes. 

“I
started cheating on her with whatever young thing that caught my attention.  I
was coming home blasted, smelling like perfume.  She just took it and continued
to get worse and worse.  I honestly just thought she was crazy.  What I didn’t
expect was a call from the NYPD, while I was in bed with another woman, that
they were scraping her body off of the street.” 

Jake
turned back to her.  His normally chocolate colored eyes looked black and far
away.  His skin had paled.  “I off course had to come and identify her.  She
had jumped from the roof of our high rise.  I almost couldn’t recognize her
enough to give a positive identification.”  He finished in a whisper. 

Tammy
felt sick.  She couldn’t imagine the horror of such a thing.  She reached a
hand out to him and he gripped it tightly.  “Your first book wasn’t horror was
it?” 

He
shook his head slowly and looked at her with wonder.  “How could you
possibly
know that?  I wrote my first book under a pseudonym.” 

“You
pulled the horror from your own personal arsenal of demons.” 

“My
first novel, since I was known in the modeling world, was written under a fake
name because I wrote about the treachery
of
the modeling world!” 

It
all rang a bell for her.  “Wait!  You wrote
Dark Dancer for the Lens
?” 

He
smiled ruefully.  “
Dark Dancer for the Lens: The side of modeling that the
camera doesn’t capture. 
Yes.  My name for the book was…”

“J.
A. Blackstone.”  She finished for him.  “I
own
that book!”  She looked
at him carefully.  “You know that Paola was sick, right?  You didn’t force her
to kill herself.” 

“Didn’t
I?”  His face twisted for a moment.  Tammy wasn’t sure if he was going to yell
at her, or start to cry.  “I should have been better to her.  I was just a
horny dog, out doing what I wanted.” 

“True. 
Maybe you should have been better to her, but you didn’t cause her to be sick. 
Depression, anxiety, whatever; they are disorders, sickness of the mind.” 

Jake
studied her with sad eyes. 
Remarkable.  She should be running away
screaming by now. 
He stood and held his hand out to her.  “If you’re
finished, you should run up to your cabin and get your suit.” 

Tammy
nodded and finished her coffee quickly.  It meant a great deal to her that he
had opened up.  She hoped his philandering ways were behind him, if they were
going to see each other beyond the cruise. 
There’s enough time to think
about that later. 

If
Tammy thought the Camuy caves were beautiful, it paled in comparison to the
beach Jake took her to for snorkeling.  White sands and impossibly blue water
was what she saw when they arrived.  He had already arranged for a boat to take
them to the reef.  The instructor would dive with them.  He was patient with
Tammy, explaining the dos and don’ts.  Jake had snorkeled several times, and
just stood  back and watched. 

She
had a brown one piece swimsuit that looked like bronze as the sunlight hit it. 
How refreshing to see an attractive woman wear a swimsuit that accentuated
rather than revealed.  Her cleavage was definitely showing for a change, and
Jake had to divert his eyes often.  Her body caused an automatic reaction in
him that he hadn’t experienced in a while.  Sex was just something he did;
sometimes for a release of frustration, sometimes just because he was lonely. 
Looking at Tammy he didn’t just want sex, he wanted to make love to her.  He
didn’t know when she would be ready for that, but he was positive it would be well
worth the wait. 

Once
in the water he was delighted to see how well she took to it.  She grinned and
pointed like a child.  When a large sea turtle swam past them, he thought she
was going to follow it out to sea.  She kept reaching for its cream and black
spotted fins.  It was the only time while they were in the water that the
instructor had to shake his head no and stop her from doing something. 

Every
little thing, every color, caught her eye and seemed to mesmerize her.  Jake
couldn’t have thought of a better outing for her. 

As
they sat side by side on the boat heading over the short of distance to shore,
he loosely laid his arm across her shoulders and listened to her talk
animatedly about all they had seen. 

“The
colors, Jake; I just don’t have words to describe them!” 

He
lightly pinched her chin with his thumb and forefinger.  “Maybe now you can
create that painting.”  

“Yes! 
I would like to look for some postcards before we head back to the ship.” 

“We
can do whatever you like for the rest of the day.” 

She
smiled back at him and if she could have read his mind she would have heard,
I’ll
do anything you want, for as long as you want.
 

Jake
and Tammy ate lunch after the boat dropped them off.  The café was another of
the more outdoor than indoor sort in the heart shaped Magens Bay. 

Tammy
leaned back in her chair and sighed contentedly.  I wish we could stay here for
the rest of the cruise.  It’s so beautiful.” 

“Tomorrow
is our last port stop.  The next two days after are at sea as we sail back to
Miami.”  Jake said with a frown. 

“You
seem sad.”

“I
am.  I thought this would be the longest six days of my life after I was on
board.  Then I met you.  It changed things.” 

“I
understand.” 

“Do
you?” 

“Yes.” 

“I
want to see you again after the cruise.” 

Tammy
looked at him and shook her head.  “I want that too, but I can’t fly to New
York whenever the mood strikes me.  I just can’t afford it.”  Her face darkened
as the reminder of her life came to mind.  “I have to find a job.” 

“I
could come see you some too, you know.  Plus, I don’t mind paying for your
plane tickets.  I’m a big fan of frequent flyer miles.”  He grinned and tried
to wriggle his eyebrows.  The sight was such a comical disaster, that she
laughed until her stomach hurt. 

“Please
don’t try that again.  I might puke.”

“Okay,
okay.  I’ve just always wanted to be able to do cool things with my face.  I
can’t even arch an eyebrow.” 

“Oh
you mean like this?”  Tammy said and sent her right eyebrow straight up towards
her hairline. 

“Holy
crap!  You look so evil!” 

If
laughter heals the soul or is good for the soul, whatever the phrase was, then
we should be well on our way to perfect peace and harmony. 
Tammy
thought.  She watched Jake stand and pull his shirt over his head.  She could
see him shirtless a hundred more times, and each time would be better than the
last.  At forty five he was in good shape.  She could see the faint outline of
a six pack, and the muscles in his back could still ripple with every
movement.  “Do you work out?” 

“Ha! 
Now
that’s
a cheesy pick up line if I ever heard it!” 

Tammy
giggled behind her hand.  “Shut up, we’re practically dating anyway; so do
you?”

He
shrugged and moved his hand back and forth in the “so-so” motion.  “I do, but
not regularly.  This cruise will be my down fall.  I’ve eaten more with you
than I have in six months.” 

“What
did you do before?” 

“Drank. 
Come on, let’s get back in the water and swim.”

The
ship curfew was five o’clock, and once again they barely made it.  They were
both exhausted.  Tammy’s skin held the telltale pinkness of a sunburn.  Even
Jake was slightly pink, but he knew his would just turn to tan by the next
day.  It was Tammy he was worried about.  He saw her wince as they waited for
the elevator. 

“I’m
sorry, I should have thought to buy you sunscreen.” 

Tammy
made a dismissive gesture with her hand.  “I’m a grown woman, I
should
have thought of it.  Ironically, I have a bottle in my room.” 

Jake
frowned as they entered the elevator.  He had wanted tomorrow to be the most
special date so far.  It was Valentine’s Day and they were going to take port
at Philipsburg Saint Maarten.  He wanted to make it the best Valentine’s ever
for her.  He wanted to ensure that she would forever forget about Gleason
Smith. 

When
they were back at her cabin, Tammy fell onto the bed and almost immediately
fell asleep.  She didn’t even care that Jake was still in the room with her. 
He sat by the bed and watched her sleep for thirty minutes. 
I’m in love
with this woman. 
The thought didn’t bother him like it would have before. 
Instead it left him feeling grateful.  If she were willing, he would have a
second chance at life with a partner; he hoped a wife.