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Authors: Sarah Tregay

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BOOK: Love and Leftovers
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Time Well Wasted

    
But Before I Left

    
Mom’s New Car

    
Lobstah Feed

    
MapQuest Says

 

Part Two - BOISE, IDAHO

    
Danny

    
Home, in Daylight

    
I Don’t Call Linus

    
Dad Gives Me a Ride to School

    
Hello

    
All He Says

    
He Stops Kissing Me

    
Eating Lunch with the Leftovers

    
Silly Hamlet

    
Dress Rehearsal

    
The Best-Laid Plans

    
My World Shatters

    
Respect

    
Clarification

    
Confession

    
A Million

    
In the Aftermath of the End of the World

    
In Burst

    
Dad Tries to Hug Me

    
Why We Did What We Did

    
Dad’s Lecture, Part 2

    
Boiled Down

    
One More Question

    
Staying Home from School Because My Head Hurts

    
I Call Mom

    
After a Loop around the Park

    
Innocent Questions

    
I Can’t Believe

    
I’m So Stupid

    
A Recipe

    
To Cheer Me Up

    
Temporary Tattoos

    
Slumber Party Interruptus

    
Tearjerker

    
The Truth about Emily

    
The Truth about Danny

    
My Best Friend Is the Best

    
Then Again

    
Out of Habit

    
Driven

    
One Sunday Morning

    
Report Card

    
So I Make a Study Date with Katie

    
Outside on the Thomases’ Front Steps Katie Reveals

    
I Gasp

    
The House Is Quiet

    
That’s How Danny Found Me

    
I Tell Danny

    
Loner

    
Danny Suggested That I Try to Be Understanding

    
Eight Seconds Later

    
Eight Hours Later

    
When I Was in New Hampshire

    
My Best Friend Is Falling in Love

    
Mom Calls Me

    
Talented

    
Four-Letter Words

    
Judging from the Roar of the Crowd

    
The Saturday Show

    
Linus Looks So Cute

    
Midset

    
“The Next Song Isn’t a Cover”

    
After the Applause

    
Standing Ovation

    
The Auditorium Door

    
The First Letter I Don’t Send

    
P.S.

    
The Second Letter I Don’t Send

    
Period

    
Katie Hasn’t

    
I Think

    
The Downside of Living with Dad and Danny

    
Things I Threw Away

    
He Reminds Me

    
My Girl

    
All Week

    
What I’d Say to Katie

    
Temper Tantrum

    
No One Can Hurt My Heart Inside My Little Ball

    
I Am to Blame

    
Because I Want My Best Friend Back

    
You’re Invited

    
Saturday, 1:00 P.M.

    
Childish Games

    
Roller Coaster

    
Flame

    
To Love, To Family, To Friends

    
I’ve Changed My Mind, All I Want Is Everything

    
A Conversation for Adults

    
Revelations

    
Mom Plans to Come for a Visit

    
My Mother Always Told Me

    
Wishful Thinking

    
What My Ex-Boyfriend Doesn’t Know

    
On One Side

    
On the Other Side

    
Every Morning at the Bus Stop

    
Just Silence

    
Studying at Katie’s House

    
I Can’t Find My Blue Notebook

    
Today at the Bus Stop

    
Sitting Down

    
A Moment of Truth

    
My Notebook

    
The Cry of a Thousand Years

    
Even Though It’s Not Our Stop

    
Question

    
Rebellion

    
Three Choices

    
Over Coffee and a Cranberry Scone

    
Calculated

    
Wishing Well

    
“My Life Has Been a Hurricane”

    
Skipping School Never Sounded So Good

    
Skipping Stones

    
Tunnel of Love

    
In the Library!

    
At Zeppole

    
In Both of My Classes

    
After the Last Bell

    
Walking Daydreams

    
Worries

    
Notes from My Heart

    
What Emily Said

    
My Dad Comes Home

    
On the Way Home from Pizza

    
Kissing My Boyfriend

    
Snuggled in Bed

    
Dear Marcie

    
I Jump Out of Bed and Call Linus

    
On the Last Page of My Notebook

 

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Credits

Copyright

About the Publisher

 

Part One
DURHAM, NEW HAMPSHIRE

My Family’s Summerhouse

My mother

doesn’t understand

that this is a summerhouse

(meant to be lived in

only during the summer).

It is almost Labor Day.

Next week,

I’ll start my sophomore year

at Oyster River High School

in Durham, New Hampshire,

because she doesn’t have the courage

to go home

to Boise, Idaho.

The Breakup

On the first Saturday in June,

Mom and I stopped at Albertsons

to buy milk and bananas.

We bumped into Dad,

who was on his way out—

a Coke in his hand.

But Mom forgot about the

milk and bananas when

Dad introduced us

to a friend of his named Danny,

a bartender at the straight-friendly

establishment across from the opera.

Mom’s eyes narrowed

and her face hardened into granite.

Then she shot the two of them

a look hot enough

to melt flesh.

Long Shot

Mom grabbed my wrist,

pulled me across the parking lot,

and told me to get in the car.

She sank into the driver’s seat

and I watched the granite crumble

into ragged breaths and searing tears.

“What is it?” I whispered.

“I can’t believe it,” my mother said,

more to the windshield than to me.

“Seventeen goddamned years!”

(That was how long Dad and Mom had been married.)

She never did answer my question.

She did, however, start in on a blue streak

that lasted until she pulled into the driveway.

So I pieced together the information.

Dad’d been going out for drinks a lot lately.

Danny worked at a straight-friendly bar,

which was probably a nice way to say
gay bar
.

Dad said he and Danny were friends.

And that pissed Mom off.

Now Mom was swearing about

how long she had been married to Dad,

as if today was the last day

she’d consider herself his wife.

“Is Dad gay?” I wondered out loud, hoping

my problem-solving skills weren’t very good

and that I’d missed the mark by a thousand miles.

But Mom nodded yes.

An Explanation

My mother

took two weeks off

back in June.

I asked her

(in July)

what we were doing.

I think she meant to say, “Vacationing”

but she said, “Running away.”

Which might have been okay,

even though I thought that

if I ever ran away,

I’d do it with

a certain emo-sensitive rocker boy

and not my mother.

Lonely

The worst part of

this overextended summer vacation

is leaving

behind

a perfectly good boyfriend

with the deepest

espresso-brown eyes

a girl

could ever

get lost

in.

Since the Breakup

my mother
has transported herself

to another world.

On her planet

showers,
waking up before sunset,
matching her clothes,
and leaving the house

are optional.

Meanwhile

typing furiously,
crying constantly,
and pitting coffee against sleeping pills
for a battle over her body

are commonplace.

Sometimes

I think she needs
those antidepressants
we see in TV commercials.
But every time an ad comes on

she changes the channel.

So she needs me

BOOK: Love and Leftovers
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