Love Confessed (14 page)

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I pull up to Leah's place five minutes early but I miss her so much she’s lucky I’ve managed to hold out this long.. Abby is so excited she's been driving me crazy; practically dragging me in the elevator and then down the hall to Leah’s front door.

"Come on dad. You're moving sooooo slow." She whines and it makes me laugh because I didn't realize exactly how much she liked Leah up until now. I knew Abby was fond of her but she’s never gotten quite this excited to see anybody besides her grandparents or uncles before and maybe not even then. My normally shy child has latched on to Leah and it’s a comforting thing to witness. I knock on the door but immediately double check that I have the right apartment when I hear a man’s voice say "I'll get it." Yep 412, this is the right apartment. Who the hell is that?! My heart and mind start to race. I know that we haven't actually talked about dating exclusively, but I guess I just figured Leah wouldn’t date more than one man at a time. I mean
she's
the only one
I'm
seeing. The only woman I want to see. Besides she asked me out tonight. What the fuck is going on here?! I stand a little taller, square my shoulders a little more feeling irrationally possessive. When the door finally opens, a man about an inch taller than me with purposefully messy dark blonde hair is standing in the frame. For some inexplicable reason, I already want to punch him.

"Can I help you?" He asks, looking me up and down. I'm stunned silent for a moment, not having any idea what to say. I'm fairly certain this is Ethan's father because he’s a taller, older yet exact replica of Ethan. Leah comes around the corner looking more than a little bit pissed but smiles when she sees me.

"What the hell, Joseph?! You can't just answer my door like you live here." She says as she pushes past him and stands in front of me. Joseph steps out of view and I know she can tell that I'm confused by what is happening right now. "So it turns out Joseph thought it would be nice to surprise me and bring Ethan home a few days early. If you give me just a few minutes I'll get rid of him and the four of us can go out to eat." This normally polite, composed woman doesn’t even lower her voice or try to hide the frustration she feels at Joseph. I start to relax a little bit. She kisses me quickly on the cheek, gives me and apologetic smile and says "I'm sorry. Please come in," as she regains her composure and steps aside letting me through.

"Thanks." is my only reaction. Abby has been glued to my side watching the interaction and no doubt trying to figure out what’s going on. They say that kids can tell how you’re feeling and I’m pretty sure she’s never seen me like this before; slightly jealous, confused and defensive. When Ethan comes out into the living room though, Abby bolts straight over to Ethan hugs him, and they run off towards his room to play. I’m left there to finally organize my thoughts enough to slowly walk in the rest of the way and ask, "Do you want to do this another night, Leah?" I don't want her to think she has to go out tonight but at the same time I hate the idea of leaving here alone in her apartment with the man who is still sizing me up from behind her.

"Thanks Steve, but no. I want us to go out tonight. This was just unexpected, that's all." Joseph decides to reengage right at this moment. I square my shoulders again. I'm not really sure why but I feel like he's moving in on my territory.

"Oh...um...Joseph this is Steve. Steve this is Joseph, Ethan's father. Of course."

"Nice to meet you." I say, undoubtedly as insincerely as I feel it, shaking his hand firmly while maintaining eye contact. I can only assume by her reticence to talk about him that he hurt her somehow and I already loathe him for it. I also don’t like how little I’ve heard about him with or from Ethan. It’s not just about Leah – I feel protective over Ethan too and I think I will continue until there is a reason for me to feel differently.

"Same here. So you're the bloke Leah is seeing?" He asks, again looking me up and down; sizing up the apparent competition. He doesn’t appear to like the idea of me any more than I like the idea of him. This whole situation is new for me and I’m not sure exactly how to respond – so naturally, I go with the asshole alpha male response.

"Nice to know she's talked about me. Yes, I suppose I am that man." I reply, smug smile firmly in place.

“She did mention you briefly.” He says giving me his own smug smile. At least this guy is a fair match. I’m starting to understand why Hannah made the competition comment. As much as I hate to admit it, he is a good looking guy. Then he faces Leah but continues to speak to me, “take good care of her. She’s an amazing woman and I am a fool for ever letting her slip through my fingers.” He grabs her shoulders, kisses her on her head, and then starts down the hallway towards Ethan’s room.

“Ok. Well thanks Joseph, that wasn’t awkward at all.” Leah says to his retreating back.

“Calm down, love. I can take a hint. Just going to say goodbye to Ethan. I’ll be by tomorrow to see him, but I’ll text you before I come.” Joseph says dryly as he turns the corner towards Ethan’s room.

She turns to me and says, “Joseph is on his way out. Sorry about that, Steve. Let me go grab my shoes.” I can’t decipher the look that is in Leah’s eyes. Is she upset? Or does she still have feelings for this man? Maybe it’s just his accent. Most women love an accent. Fucking Brits.

“Okay, where do you want to go to eat? I’m kind of in the mood for Indian, does that sound okay?” She asks when she finishes pulling her shoes on. She grabs her purse and I can tell she’s nervous, agitated maybe, but I still can’t tell why.

“Hey” I say grabbing her hand and pulling her towards me. “I can tell you’re uncomfortable. Just say the word and Abby and I will go. I want to spend tonight with you but the last thing I want is to be the cause of any discomfort.” I don’t want to go but I’m out of my element here.

“No please don’t leave.” To my surprise she puts her arms around my neck and lays her head on my chest. “I just wasn’t expecting Joseph to be here.”

              “You’ve never talked about him. I know this sounds stupid but it never occurred to me that Ethan’s father was any factor in your guys’ life.” I feel stupid for saying that but with her lack of acknowledgement of him, he was nonexistent in my mind. She pulls her head away but still leaves her hands clasped behind my neck.

“I didn’t say anything about him because there was nothing to say. He’s Ethan’s father, end of story.” She hesitates for a second, clearly debating whether or not to continue. “I’m uncomfortable because he recently admitted that he’s still in love with me. Now you’re here meeting him and I’m not sure what this is between us. Before you start to freak out I don’t need to classify what it is between us. I’m fine with just getting to know each other and having some fun. I’m just probably as unprepared for this encounter as you are.”

“Are you still in love with him?” Shit, that just slipped out before I could stop it but I have to know. I’m scared that the answer might be yes because if I’m being honest with myself I’m starting to fall for her. I didn’t need Joseph to tell me she was amazing because I already knew it.

“Can we talk about this later? When it’s just us and the kids have fallen asleep.” Her big blue eyes shine at me and she leans up on her toes and presses her lips to mine. When she looks at me this way I have no defense and even though the wait will probably drive me batshit crazy, I just kiss her back. She’s the first one to pull away and I’m forced to reluctantly remove my hands from her waist. She’s walks back to Ethan’s room while I wait in the living room. Everyone comes walking out at the same time two by two – Joseph holding Ethan and Leah holding Abby.

“It was nice meeting you.” Joseph says stretching out his hand after he puts his son down. I shake it, even though we appear to be equally dissatisfied with meeting one another. He leans in and kisses Leah on the cheek and then pulls Ethan up to give him a big hug. Looking at both of them he says, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that we all walk out the door. I still don’t know anything about their relationship and her response to my question wasn’t exactly what I wanted. In fact, it wasn’t even an answer. But she chose to leave with me and that makes me a happy man - for now.

17
Leah

School starting always throws our schedule for a loop. It takes me a few days to readjust to the carpools, the play dates, the soccer practices - but we’re finally back into the swing of things when, BAM. Oh. My. God. I feel like hell. I feel like I got run over by a bus. Honestly I haven’t been this sick since high school and, not that we’re keeping track or anything, but that was a really long time ago.

I’m the person who will try to go to work with pneumonia (bronchitis, the plague, whatever it may be), looking like hell. This situation usually results in Scott telling me that I do look like hell, and to grab my things because he’s sending me home where I likely already knew I should have stayed to begin with but was too stubborn to be smart. But not this time. This time, I was fine. I was sitting at my desk on Wednesday morning, drinking my latte, checking my email - and then I wasn’t fine. Fortunately for me, as well as for the safety of all drivers in downtown Chicago, while I’m trying to walk out my office door Scott decides to walk in.

“Hey Leah,” he turns the corner into my office. “Whoa. Please tell me you’re on your way out? You look like hell.” With honesty like this, sometimes I can’t figure out how on earth he has gotten three women to marry him. It does certainly make it easier to figure out why they’ve all three opted out.

“Thanks Scott, you look great too. And yes I am. I’m all shaky, I have a fever. I feel terrible.”

He walks to my desk and grabs my keys. “Here, I’ll drive you that way you don’t have to deal with finding a way to get you and Ethan back to your Jeep when you feel better.”

“Are you sure? You really don’t have to. I’m sure I can drive…”

“Leah, you’re not driving home like this. Besides, that drug rep Brittany I just hooked up with lives right around the corner from you. It could work out in my favor. It is hump day after all…” he raises his eyebrow at me and smiles his most charming smile. Even feeling the way I do, he still makes me shake my head and laugh at him. We’re almost home when Steve calls and the Jeep bluetooth picks up.

“Hello…”

“Hey babe. I tried calling the office and Kelly said you were out sick. You okay?”

Before I can answer Scott says, “First, no she’s not really okay. She looks like she got ran over by a truck. I’m taking her back to her place now. Second, I’m a little upset that I don’t get this tone of concern from you when
I’m
sick. I thought we had something going man…”

Their awkward male banter continues for a brief minute before Steve says “No really though, Leah, why don’t I just pick Ethan up and keep him for a sleepover so you can just rest? I still have that chance of clothes at my house from before his soccer game last weekend.” It’s a school night. Normally I’d say no. Normally I’d suffer through feeling god awful to still take care of Ethan, to get to spend my evening with him – but not tonight. Tonight I feel far enough from normal that I oblige immediately.

“Oh god, yes. That would be amazing. Are you sure you’re up for it though?”

“Of course, Ethan’s no problem at all. We love having him around. Do you need anything? I can bring you whatever you need before I get the kids…”

“No thanks, I’m pretty sure I’ve got some cold medicine left. Just going to take that and try to sleep for a while. Call me if you need anything, okay, if you have any problems with Ethan?”

“We’ll be fine. Let me know if you think of something you need babe. I’ve got Ethan taken care of so don’t worry about anything. Just get some rest and feel better”

I’m becoming more and more grateful for this man’s generosity every day. I’ve never had somebody, as an adult, take care of me like this so it’s something that I definitely appreciate. Well, something that I’m learning to appreciate. It’s still a little bit foreign. Scott walks me up to make sure I’m okay - as soon as I close the door I start stripping clothes off, grab the cold medicine as I pass the bathroom and curl up in my bed. Right before I fall asleep, when I’m in that pre-incoherent knock out cold medicine sleep phase, my grandma calls.

“Hey Grams.”

“Hi Darling, you don’t sound like yourself. Are you alright?” It always amazes me that all I have to say is “hi” and she can tell when I’m off.

“Not really. I left work sick and just laid down. What’s going on?”

“Nothing pressing, I’ve just been missing you and Ethan, was thinking a visit was due soon. We can talk about it in the morning though – you go to sleep. Bye dear, I love you.”

“Bye Grams, love you too.” With that I’m out cold.

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I roll over to check the time on my phone, thinking that it’s probably sometime in the wee hours of the morning since the last time I got up to get a drink of water. I jump when I realize that it’s 8:15. How did that happen?!? I can’t remember the last time that I slept that long. I feel so bad, I wanted to tell Ethan goodnight and when I realized I slept through my chance for that, I was sure I’d at least get to tell him good morning. I dial Steve and he picks up on the second ring.

“Hey. How ya feeling?”

“Not well, but definitely an improvement from yesterday, thanks. Thanks again for helping out,” I begin before he cuts me off.

“Stop it, I meant it when I said it wasn’t a problem at all. You’re going to have to start getting used to letting me take care of you. The kids are at school and I was wondering if you wanted me to just take him to Trevor’s birthday party at the arcade after I pick them up?”

“Oh crap. I totally forgot about that! I didn’t even get a present.”

“I forgot about it too. The kids just reminded me this morning. I went out on a limb and assumed you wouldn’t be up to going so I went ahead and picked up the videogame that Ethan wanted to get him.”

“Wow, Steve.” I pause, taking in the moment. This man has done so much for me in the last 24 hours than any other man has my whole life. With the exception of my grandpa, of course. “You’re amazing. Actually, if you’re going anyway and you don’t mind…”

“Again, I don’t mind at all. I mean, what are boyfriends for?  Besides mind blowing orgasms, of course.”

“Hmmm…you are good at those... On a serious note, I don’t know how to repay you. I’m starting to feel better but still definitely not up for spending an afternoon in an arcade surrounded by six year olds.”

“Oh I’m sure you’ll think of some way to repay me, and if not, I have a few ideas…”

Even feeling like shit, the gentle but unmistakable tone of command in his voice gives me that flutter in my belly. The one that goes down below. That warm feeling, exciting feeling I’m getting so used to.

“Oh I’m sure I can think of a couple of creative ways to make it up to you.”

“I look forward to it. Now go to bed. I’m hanging up because you need sleep.” To my surprise, he actually does hang up on me. I can’t recall ever smiling quite so stupidly at being hung up on. I take a quick shower, brush my teeth, grab a piece of toast and some tea, and decide to call Scott.

“Welcome back to the land of the living,” he says by way of greeting.

“Ha. It’s nice to have returned. I’m still not feeling great though so I’m just going to stay home today if you don’t need me? I emailed Kelly on my way out yesterday and had her clear my schedule just incase I didn’t make it back in.”

“You know that’s fine. Just stay home tomorrow too, make sure you get all rested up. Let Steve take care of you. You’re as stubborn as a mule so I’m sure it’s not easy but you deserve it. Now I’ve gotta run into a meeting. See you Monday.” And I get hung up on again. I walk to the kitchen to top off my tea before I post up back in bed to watch a sappy romantic comedy when the doorbell rings so I stop and turn to walk down the hall towards the door instead. I’m not expecting anybody and the doorman would have called if there  was a visitor they didn’t recognize so I assume it’s a neighbor needing to borrow a cup of sugar or something, but I open the door and am stunned as I am pulled into the loving arms of my Grandmother.

“Grams! What are you doing here?!”

“Darling, you sounded terrible. I haven’t heard you that sick since you were younger. Trust me I know how hard it is to take care of a child when you’re ill so I came to help. Now go, lye down. Tell me what you need.” She kisses me on the cheek and walks past me into the apartment; while I’m still standing by the door, too surprised and happy to move. When I finally do get my bearings, I sit down on the couch and start flipping through channels, knowing better than to try to derail her from the execution of her maternal duties. A few minutes later my grandma comes in with my tea.

“Now what time do you need me to go pick Ethan up? Is it still 3:20?”

“Actually, you don’t have to. Steve is picking him up and taking him to a birthday party after school.” Without thinking the words come out of my mouth. I am suddenly consciously aware of the fact that I have not mentioned Steve to anyone in my family.

“Wait, Steve? Who is Steve? Do tell. Wait. Don't tell quite yet. I went ahead and called Emily to let her know I’ll be in town and she should come by but I need to call her and have her pick up some soup for you. You really should grocery shop more often Honey.”

“Emily’s coming? Now?”

“Yes, Shh dear. Her phone is ringing.”

Grams fills Emily in regarding my lack of ability to grocery shop as a responsible adult, then hangs up and I give her the scoop on Steve. I tell her about how we met, sans the scandalous party hookup because well, that would horrify my poor grandmother. So to her it was a kiss but the rest of the story remains the same. Emily came in about halfway through the recap so she’s mainly up to speed too.

“Wait, so you’re actually serious about this guy?” Emily asks, popping another chip into her mouth.

“Well it’s new, we just started to get to know each other but it feels good. It feels natural. He’s not just good for me, you should see him with Ethan - they’re great together. His daughter Abby is one of Ethan’s best friends too so it gives us a chance to get to know each other in a way that isn’t awkward at all for the kids. I honestly don’t think they’ve even noticed anything more than that they’re getting more play dates now than they’re used to.” I explain. “It’s basically been perfect,” I continue. “Except when Joseph confessed his undying love to me while I was in London. Then he surprised me and brought Ethan back early. Steve came over when Joseph was still here because we’d had a date planned and it was a little awkward. Well, a lot awkward. Joseph even dropped a couple of comments about trying to move closer but I think I did a pretty good job at pretending not to notice those…”

“I think that’s probably smart, Leah. I know that Joseph is Ethan’s father and you’ll always be in each other’s life because of that, but I think that after so much time parenting separately it would be really hard to open up enough to do it together. I know you don’t like to talk about it much but I know that Joseph continuing to move home and stay there was a choice that you understood but it hurt you nonetheless…” my grandma says.

“I know. I understand, because I would have stayed for you guys. So I get why he did what he did. But I just feel like having to learn to do it on my own because he made that choice, well, it would be so much harder to let him, of all people, back in. It took a lot of work to build up enough of a wall to not let his decision hurt me anymore.”

For the most part, Emily has sat in the recliner across from Grams and is being strangely quiet for her opinionated self. She stops chewing on her lip to chime in now though.

“Well if I get a say, I like Joseph. He’s handsome as hell - you know you’ll always be attracted to him, at least a little. You guys have such similar experiences as far as how you grew up. He’s Ethan’s dad, and besides, he really cares about you” she says casually before taking another bite.

“You don’t get a say and I’m sure we’ll always care about each other. We were best friends. We have a son together. I don’t think that means we need to be together” I say, beginning to feel a bit defensive. I’m a little bit put off at the way she is deciding who I should or shouldn’t date so casually.

“I’m just saying that I think he deserves another chance. You guys have a history you can’t just brush under the rug, Leah. I don’t see why it’s such a big deal to just give it another go.” Wow. She’s really starting to upset me.

“Of course you don’t. You’ve never been in love Emily, you’ve never been left, you’ve never been a single mom. So of course you don’t understand. Why are you so team Joseph all of the sudden?! You hated him when you realized he left me all alone, pregnant.” I ask. I mean, I know he helped her get through Gramps dying too. I know he charmed her just like he’s charmed everybody else he’s ever spoken to but I have no idea where this sudden loyalty to him is coming from.

“Stop being so dramatic, Leah. I’m not team anybody I just believed him when he said how much he loved you. You could see it in his eyes. He really does. I really think he wishes he had stayed.”

“Wait. When did he say this? What are you talking about?”

She looks away for a minute then looks back sheepishly confessing, “We hung out a few times when I was in Europe…”

“What the fuck, Emily?” I interrupt. “How could you not tell me? Why would you wait till now to tell me he loves me?! Know that’s all I wanted for years.” I’m pretty sure the steam that is coming out of my ears is visible.