Love Finds You at Home for Christmas (14 page)

Cliff frowned. “I thought you just needed time to heal, Ruby. I thought I could change your mind about marriage. And I figured that after you opened the gift tonight, you would know how I felt.”

How was an ornament—not matter how lovely or thoughtful—supposed to tell her exactly how he felt? Why wouldn't he just tell her himself rather than leave her to guess? “Right.” She felt the sting of tears in her eyes. “Well, I guess not.”

He stood up, and the hurt in his eyes was unmistakable.

And she'd somehow put it there.

“So this is it.” Ruby said it as a statement, not a question. “I guess we won't be going to the Christmas dance next week. But like you said, I'm sure it will be easy for you to find a replacement for me.”

Cliff hesitated for a moment and then nodded. “Yep.”

She watched him walk off and wasn't sure if she'd have the strength to make it up the stairs to her room. How had a night with so much promise turned out so badly? She wasn't sure what had just happened. But she was sure of one thing.

For someone who hadn't planned to risk her heart, hers sure did ache.

Chapter Sixteen

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“Are you sure you won't go with us?” Lola paced the length of their tiny room, looking beautiful and festive in a red and white dress. “It's the Christmas party.”

“I'm not going to be a third wheel.” Ruby frowned. The idea of tagging along with Lola and Harold didn't appeal to her, but knowing Cliff would be there with another girl absolutely turned her stomach. “Besides, I have to pack.”

Lola stopped pacing and stood in front of the mirror fluffing her hair. “If I were you, I'd put on my best, most figure-flattering dress and go flirt with every able-bodied man there. Cliff will wish he'd never even laid eyes on that Irene Stillfield.” She frowned. “I thought she had a boyfriend, but I guess I was wrong.”

Ruby threw herself across her bed, and she didn't care how dramatic it looked. “It doesn't matter. If not Irene then it would be somebody else. You know, there've practically been girls lined up at the maintenance building ready and willing to accompany him to the party. And I all but gave him permission.”

Lola turned away from her reflection and faced Ruby. “Well, you'll get no argument from me there. I know you're bound and determined to keep your independence, but couldn't you have waited until after tonight to tell him?”

“It doesn't matter anymore. Cliff thinks I was just leading him on all that time. He said I made him look foolish.” She sighed. “I'm not that kind of girl.”

Lola sat down next to Ruby and patted her leg. “Anyone who ever saw the two of you together never thought that. Including Cliff, if he were honest with himself. But you can't change what you want out of life, and if you know for sure what that is, then you have to go after it.”

Ruby didn't want to mention that the more she thought of Cliff actually going out with another girl, maybe hugging her and laughing with her and kissing her—the less she knew about what she did or didn't want. “I just wish…well, I wish I could have it all. I wish I could keep seeing Cliff but also keep my independence.”

Lola laughed. “Honey, it doesn't work like that. There comes a time when you have to choose.” She stood up and grabbed her clutch. “And I guess you've chosen.”

Ruby watched her go and turned her attention back to her suitcase. Memories flooded back of the first time she'd seen Cliff, there on the sidewalk in front of her college dorm. The way they'd laughed and teased one another. The serious talks they'd had about their families and their faith.

She unwound the string of lights from her little cedar tree and couldn't stop the tears that flooded her eyes. Cliff had strung these lights for her, one by one, because he knew they would make her smile each time she saw them. But now they only made her sad.

She plucked the lone ornament from the tree. Her early Christmas gift from Cliff. She held it up for a long moment, relishing the thought that Cliff had chosen it just for her. He'd gotten it as a reminder of the Christmases past that had been filled with happiness, and as a promise of happy Christmases yet to come. And she'd turned him away.

Ruby carefully wrapped the ornament in paper to keep it safe on the bus ride home. Someday, just as the green dress would be a reminder of her first paycheck, this ornament would be a reminder that she'd once had a best friend named Cliff.

She could only hope that one day, she'd be able to look at it and remember the happy times they'd shared. Because right now, she wasn't sure if she'd ever be happy again.

* * * * *

As the faint strains of Christmas music played in the background, Cliff tried to concentrate on the story Irene was telling him. It was no use though. His eyes kept wandering to the door. This was probably a bad idea. He should've known not to take advice from Hazel, but she'd been so certain Ruby would come to her senses if she found out Cliff went out with another girl.

And he'd been very clear to Irene that he was only interested in being friends, so he'd figured there was no harm.

Except that he felt pretty miserable.

“Have you heard anything I just said?” Irene asked. She put a hand on the hip of her petite frame. “Or are you just pining away for Ruby and hoping she'll show up?”

Cliff sighed. “Guilty. I'm sorry, Irene. I never should've come here tonight.”

She slapped him on the arm. “Nonsense. I knew when I invited you that you and Ruby were going through a rough patch. She's a great girl.” Irene grinned. “But dates are hard to come by. I'd rather be here with someone preoccupied than not at all.”

He chuckled. “That's a good attitude to have.”

“Besides, my Aub is somewhere in Europe right now. He wouldn't want me to sit home alone and miss the party.” She tossed her blond hair. “So I figured you'd be a safe date and all, since we're both wishing we were with someone else.”

The opening bars of “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy” began to play, and Irene grabbed Cliff's arm. “You promised me a dance. I'm cashing in.”

Cliff chuckled. “I must warn you, I can dance a mean jitterbug.”

“Well, let's see you prove it.” She led him onto the dance floor, and Cliff tried to get lost in the music and forget all about Ruby.

And the fact that she'd be leaving tomorrow.

For good.

* * * * *

“Tell me everything.” Ruby had waited up for Lola to return from the dance just so she could hear all the details. She might as well get used to the idea of Cliff with someone else, so she wanted every single move he'd made.

Lola grinned. “It was such fun. We really missed you though.”

“Did Cliff ask about me? Did he look like he was having a good time?” She gripped her pillow. “Did you see him kiss her or anything?”

Lola sat down on her bed and took off her shoes. “I didn't get to talk to Cliff. Harold did, but he didn't mention what they talked about. And I didn't see him kiss her, but it did look like they were having a good time.” She rubbed her foot. “They did a jitterbug that was pretty entertaining. He's a good dancer and seemed to really enjoy it when the crowd cheered for him.”

“I'll bet he turned on the charm when he realized everyone was watching, didn't he?” Ruby had seen it happen. He had a flair for the dramatic and could always play to the crowd.

Lola smiled. “Kind of. He has kind of a star quality. People are just naturally drawn to him.” She took a pin out of her hair and tossed it on the nightstand. “But you do too. I've always thought that was what made y'all so perfect together.”

“Do you think I'm making a mistake by walking away from him?”

Lola sighed. “I can't answer that for you. If you really think you're never going to be ready for marriage and all, then I guess it was the right decision. No one knows what's in your heart but you.”

“But Cliff looked happy tonight? With Irene?”

Lola nodded. “From what I could tell.”

Ruby leaned back against her pillow and pulled the sheet up to her chin. Maybe that was all she needed to know. Cliff was happy. Wasn't that what she wanted for him? To be happy. To heal from the guilt of losing Charlie. To find a place to call home.

Lord, help me to move on. Show me the path that will keep me closest to You and allow me to have the most happiness possible.

Chapter Seventeen

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December 23, 1943

* * * * *

When Cliff had agreed to go visit his friend Owen Sanders over Christmas, he hadn't realized how far of a trip it would be. The directions Owen had sent via telegram had taken Cliff as far as a gas station in a little town called McCrory. Owen was supposed to meet him there and lead him the rest of the way.

Cliff pulled in to the station and spotted Owen standing beside an old farm truck. He raised an arm in greeting. “Owen,” he called.

Owen's face broke out into a wide grin. “I'm glad you could come. My aunt and uncle are really excited too. Their house has been quiet, especially these past years. So when I mentioned inviting you, Aunt Sallye thought it was a wonderful idea.”

“Well, I appreciate it more than you know.” The closer it got to Christmas, the more Cliff wished he'd tried one more time to tell Ruby how he felt. Maybe he should've just said the words out loud instead of trying to be clever. He kept trying to push her out of his mind, but it seemed like her memory had set up a permanent address. “This has been a tough year, and I'm thankful for a few days off to relax.”

“This is a great place to do that. My aunt and uncle's farm is really peaceful. Uncle Earl will put you to work if you want him to, or if you'd rather just relax and explore or whatever, that will be fine too.” Owen motioned toward the truck. “Just follow me. It's not too far, but I'll warn you, once we get out of town, the roads might be a little rough.”

Cliff chuckled. “Dirt doesn't scare me.” He climbed back in his car and followed Owen out of the parking lot. He wondered again about Ruby. She'd probably be on a bus headed home by now. He'd asked her once the name of her town, and she'd just laughed and said it was so small it wasn't even on the map. Still, she'd mentioned living in the northeast part of the state. He wondered if she was close by.

What he wouldn't give to be able to show up at her door, take her in his arms, and tell her how he felt. Except that she'd seemed pretty certain that she wasn't interested in a life with him—or with anyone.

That independent streak he'd so admired from the day they met had turned out to be the thing they couldn't get past.

Thirty minutes and three dirt roads later, he parked his car next to Owen. “This is a nice place,” he said, getting out of the vehicle. “Nice, flat land.” River Bend had more hills than this, that was for sure.

“Makes for good farming.” Owen gestured toward Cliff's sedan. “Do you need help with your bag?”

The unspoken question came through loud and clear. Cliff circled his right arm around a few times. “I'm much better than the last time you saw me. Still gives me some pain sometimes, but nothing I can't handle.” He grinned. “Thanks, though.”

Owen shrugged. “Come on inside then. I'm sure Aunt Sallye has fixed something good to eat.”

Cliff followed Owen into the large farmhouse.

A striking woman in a flowered dress met them at the door. Despite her graying hair and lined face weathered from years in the outdoors, she still held on to the beauty of her youth. “Come in, come in.” She smiled at Cliff.

“This is my aunt Sallye,” Owen said. “She and Uncle Earl have been kind enough to take me in and give me a job for a few months.”

“Our house is much too empty these days, and Earl can use all the help he can get,” she said. “So we've been happy to have him here.” She turned her gaze on Cliff. “And we're happy to have you here too.” She motioned down a hallway. “You can stay in one of the boys' rooms.”