Love & Hate (Book Two: Love) (3 page)

As I lie there reading my cell phone dings on the bedside table next to me and I think it’s probably my Mom or Tess. I am completely shocked when I see the number. I had removed it from my contacts a couple months after the accident in a fit of rage. Too bad I can’t erase the number from my damn memory. I open the text and just stare at my phone.

I know you read my email. Why are you here?

I consider throwing my phone across the room. I even consider waking Millie up to have another full on freak-out but I think better of it and silently melt down in the privacy of my room. I can’t believe him. He has some nerve texting me after all this time. I think about what I want to write back to him but then I think back to the conversation Millie and I had on the porch. I refuse to let him make me crazy. So I delete the text message, turn off my phone and attempt to read my book again.

It’s Friday of rush week and I’m having a great time. I didn’t think I would like talking to the new freshman but surprisingly I really enjoyed it. I had met a lot of girls that seemed really nice and would fit in great in our house. It was fun being back at school and part of the sorority. All the girls had been super welcoming to me and excited to have me back at school. They made me feel at home, which has been a huge comfort to me.

After our final party we are all caravanning to the dunes on the river. I guess it’s a tradition that all the sororities and fraternities head down to the river and blow off some steam after a long week of recruitment. I was excited for some serious fun in the sun.

Millie and I had decided to drive my truck and take a few other girls from the house with us. We pull up to the dunes with country music blaring out of the speakers. The dunes are packed full of cars. It kind of reminds me of a river party at home and I feel a bit uneasy. The girls all pour out of my truck and grab the coolers from the back. We start walking toward the river but I am much slower than everyone else thanks to my awesome left leg. Millie hangs back and walks with me. She is excitedly chatting about the hot neighbors and how they are going to be here. I am thankful for Millie’s easy chatter, it helps me relax.

I am lazily lying on my beach towel next to Mills. I have on my new strappy black bikini from Nordstrom my Mother insisted made me look like a bombshell. I must admit I did look pretty hot in it. Millie wore the cutest neon tribal print bikini I have ever seen. We had been swimming earlier and out on a boat owned by our sorority sister’s boyfriend. So far the day was perfect and I was having an amazing time.

“
Hey ladies.” I knew that familiar voice. I sat up instantly and whipped my head around.

“
Well hello there stranger!” I said looking up at a grinning Tanner.

“
Hey there Lil Sis.” Tanner said as he dipped down to give me a hug. I was completely caught off guard when he lifted me off my towel and bear hugged me. I started laughing as he continued to crush me to his chest.

“
Tanner put me down!” I screeched. I was worried my butt was totally hanging out of my bikini bottoms.

“
Sorry I just missed you.” He said as he sat me down on my feet. I could feel people staring at us. I looked over at Millie who was totally laughing at us. It wasn’t Millie though that was making me feel awkward; it was the person sitting a few yards behind her. He looked as if he had seen a ghost and he was going to beat the shit out of that ghost.
Just ignore him Paige. He means nothing to you.

He pushed up from his chair and stalked off. I instantly felt relief that he was no longer watching me. Tanner and Millie had thankfully missed what had transpired and I didn’t mention it. Tanner sat down next to us and told us stories of backpacking through Europe all summer. Tanner eventually asked me how I was doing since my accident and I told him about all the gory details.

“
I’m really sorry Paige.” He said watching my face for any sign of discomfort.

“
It’s okay. It was hard at first but I’m doing a lot better.”

“
Have you talked to him?”
Oh crap, I didn’t see that one coming.

Millie must have read my mind and smacked Tanner in the arm and muttered something at him I couldn’t hear.

“
It’s alright Mills. No, he has never talked to me about it. He has texted me a few times, which I assume were drunk texts but that’s it.”

“
I know he-” Millie totally cuts him off now.

“
We aren’t talking about him. He is a genuine asshole and Paige is done. End of story.”
Whoa what happened to my Zen-like Millie?

“
I get that. Sorry I brought him up.” Tanner says sheepishly.

I don’t say anything. I just listen contently as Millie and Tanner change the subject to parties. Both Millie and Tanner are social chairs for their houses this semester so they have a lot to discuss about the upcoming social calendar.

It starts to get dark so Millie and I begin to pack up. I bend down to help Millie with the cooler and she swats me away reminding me how I cannot lift anything like that. I sigh and pick up the towels and make my way toward the truck. Millie is ahead of me carrying the giant cooler by herself. I make it to the parking lot and open up my truck to throw the towels in when I hear them.

“
Cutter seriously quit. You’re such an animal.” I turn to look and right behind me in the row of cars is Cutter and Laney. He has her caged against the side of his truck and he is pulling at the top of her swimsuit. My stomach turns upside down and I feel like I might get sick.
Just ignore them. Get in your truck and just ignore them Paige.

I want to turn my back and hop in the driver side of the truck but I am transfixed watching them, I can’t stop. Cutter looks happy and carefree as he laughs and tickles Laney. I know I’m just prolonging my own agony by watching, but part of me wants to sear this pain onto my heart so I will never forget it. I think if I hold onto that pain I will never fall victim to him again.

Millie slams the tailgate shut with a thud and Cutter’s head snaps up to see me staring at him through the maze of cars.
Oh crap I should have looked away!

“
Paige?” His voice is low and angry. I turn and open my truck door. I almost make it inside when his large hands grab the side of my door. “What are you doing here? You cut your hair?” He reaches up and touches a strand of my hair in disbelief. When he touches me it lights a fire inside me. I immediately travel back in time to when things were good between us, when I craved his touch. I snap out of my day dream the second I remember what I just saw him doing to Laney.
Why does he keep asking me that? I have just as much right to be here as he does and I happen to love my new hair!

“
Don’t fucking touch me Cutter!” I don’t even recognize my own voice, it is so bitter. He instantly steps back from me, giving me room to make my exit. Without a second glance I climb into my truck and pull away leaving him standing there.

Millie is sitting in the passenger seat wide eyed. I know she witnessed that whole exchange. “I’m really proud of you P.”

I smile at her. “Thanks, it felt really good.” The thing is though, it didn’t feel good. It felt horrible. Watching him paw all over Laney Davis was more than I could take. Something in me snapped and I felt the rage settle inside of me. So when he touched me it was just more than I could handle and I freaked out a bit. I know I shouldn’t care that I yelled at him. He deserved that and so much more.
I guess I’m just different than him, I find it hard to hurt people I love.

CHAPTER 3

I’m not really enthused to go to this party considering the events that transpired yesterday. However, Millie convinced me that I couldn’t possibly miss the big back to school party at the apartments off campus. She had reassured me that the party would be huge and I would have a blast. I was now determined to go and enjoy myself.

It was freaking hot as hades out even though it was late at night. I was glad I wore my black bandage dress. It was light jersey material so it was keeping me cool. I paired it with matching cute flats and did my hair stick straight to show the precision cut of my bob. Millie wore a navy lace dress that was very country chic. It complimented her beautiful red hair perfectly.

Once we arrived at the apartments Mills and I conveniently ran into our hot neighbors and began chatting with them. Millie was right, they were all pretty freaking hot. There were three of them. Brooks was super tall and had dark hair and the sexiest green eyes I had ever seen. Then there was Brett, he was shorter and stockier with blonde hair and blue eyes. Last but definitely not least was Holden; he was tall with dirty blonde hair and the sweetest dark brown eyes. All of them seemed equally nice and funny. They entertained Millie and I with story after story of living together and the pranks they pull on each other. All three of them are from the same hometown and have been best friends most of their lives.

I could tell immediately that Mills favored Brooks. She was totally flirting with him. I could tell Brooks was also into her because he was hanging on everything she said. Holden was chatting with me, asking me questions about my major and where I grew up. I told him but I left out riding. I didn’t want to have to explain why I no longer was able to ride.

We talked easily for a long time. I eventually noticed that Millie and Brooks had wondered off. Holden had refilled my beer several times and I was defiantly feeling buzzed. I started to get concerned how I was going to get home. Millie and I had car pooled with a few girls from the sorority. I know most people will just walk home but that’s really far for me and my bum leg. If only I had my dang phone I could call the sorority for a ride home. I’m considering asking Holden to use his phone when I feel eyes on me. I know it’s him. I have always been able to feel him before I ever laid eyes on him. I look around and I see him. He is standing against the wall of the apartment complex in the dark shadow. He is watching me talk to Holden. I steady myself and attempt to ignore him. I tell myself to concentrate on what Holden is talking about.

When Holden gets done explaining to me about his major I ask him if I can use his phone. He fishes around his pocket and pulls out his sleek black smartphone. He hits the power button and nothing happens.

“
I’m sorry it’s dead. I must not have charged it today.”
Crap of all craps!