Love Is a Secret (37 page)

A titter ran round the room. ‘Mimi? Alias Mark Summers? Where are you? Not there?’ Priscilla grinned, revealing surprisingly uneven teeth. ‘Maybe he’s gone home. Well, would you like to do the honours?’

She thrust the potty at the twins’ mother. ‘Don’t worry. Even if you pick your own, we’ll allow it. Want me to hold one so you have a free hand?’

‘You can keep him, if you want.’ Big Mum pulled out a piece of paper. ‘Shall I read it?’

‘Yes, please.’

‘Susan Thomas.’

Susan gasped. ‘Are you sure?’

‘That’s what it says.’

She had never won anything before. This was amazing. And totally impractical. Who would she go with?

‘Mummummum.’ Tabitha pulled at her sleeve, her face creased with a frown. She didn’t like noise when she couldn’t understand what was going on.

Susan knelt beside her. It might be difficult to arrange but surely it could be done. ‘We’re going to Paris, Tabs,’ she said, smiling. ‘We’ll see all those wonderful places that were on the jigsaw you did. Remember? Won’t that be fantastic?’

68

HOME PAGE

Mother of babysnatcher has given an exclusive interview. Click here.

Mark clicked. He was still job-hunting online but he needed a break before Daphne brought the kids back and the house went mad again.

My daughter has never been right since she got sterilised after her second baby. She kept wanting another but I never thought she’d take someone else’s.

‘Dad, it’s my turn on the computer. You said.’

‘I’ve just got to finish this.’

‘What?’ Florrie had come in and was looking over his shoulder. ‘Are you writing to Mum?’

‘No. She can’t get emails.’

‘But we are allowed to see her?’

‘Yes. I promised, didn’t I? Next weekend.’

He wasn’t looking forward to it. How would the kids react when they saw Hilary in that horrible visitors’ centre. On the other hand, the psychologist he had spoken to at the prison had explained it would help both her and them.

From Wicked:  ‘Hey, how r u?’

He hated it when their Facebook messages popped up.

‘Who’s Wicked?’

‘He’s from Freddy’s old school,’ said Florrie. ‘Gary. Remember? He came over once.’

A nice boy, Mark recalled. ‘Why’s he Wicked?’ he asked dubiously.

‘It means “cool”, Dad,’ added Freddy, joining them. ‘He’s really nice.’

That was a relief. ‘Would you like to go back to your old school?’

‘Yes,’ said Freddy and Florrie together.

‘Well,’ said Mark slowly, ‘I’m thinking of applying for a job in London, and if I get it, we could move back.’

‘Great.’ Freddy was thumping the keys. ‘“Hey, Dad says we might be coming back,”’ he had typed.

Mark was appalled. ‘Don’t tell him yet.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because it hasn’t happened.’

‘But it might, mightn’t it?’ said Florrie, excitedly. ‘And if we’re in London again, we’ll be nearer Mum.’

‘Remember what I said. Mum’s not been well. It’s going to take her a long time to get better.’

‘Yes, but she will, won’t she?’

‘Sure.’ Mark got up, leaving Freddy to it. It was so confusing, and despite the earlier vow he had made to himself, he couldn’t help thinking about Florrie. Things changed all the time. Including life.

‘Hang on,’ said Freddy. ‘If we go to London, what about Gran?’

‘Don’t worry about me,’ said a familiar chirpy voice behind him. ‘I’d love to come too. Would that be all right, Mark?’

He turned round. For once, his mother-in-law seemed uncertain, almost frightened. He held out his arms. ‘Daphne, I wouldn’t dream of going anywhere without you. And with all the courses available there, you’ll be spoilt for choice. Actually, talking of going somewhere has given me an idea. But there’s something I need to run past you first. Privately, if that’s all right.’

When he explained Daphne looked shocked. Older too, he thought, with a pang. It wasn’t until these last few months that he’d realised how fond he was of his mother-in-law.

‘Mark, I’m almost a hundred per cent certain that Florrie’s yours. I’m sure Hilary would have said something to me if she wasn’t and, anyway, she has so many of your mannerisms.’

‘They’re not genetic,’ he said.

Daphne pulled him to her: the feel of her arms round him was surprisingly comforting. ‘You could always have a test.’

‘I don’t want one,’ he heard himself say. ‘I couldn’t cope if she wasn’t mine. But at least this way there’s hope. Besides, it doesn’t seem so important any more.’

Daphne moved away, still holding his hands. ‘Then that’s your answer, isn’t it, dear? Now, what’s your other idea? The one about going away?’ Her eyes sparkled. ‘You know how I like to travel!’

It was bloody freezing. Much colder than if they’d gone in September. But, as Daphne said, these were the kind of memories they’d relive when they were ‘getting on’. Mark’s lips had twitched at that. It would be a long time before his youthful-minded mother-in-law classified herself as being in that category.

‘See up there?’ He pointed up into the night sky. ‘That’s Orion’s belt. You can tell because it’s a row of stars in a line. And over there, that’s the Plough. If you drew a line from one star to another, you’d have the outline of a saucepan or old-fashioned plough shape.’

Freddy stared upwards. He was still quiet and withdrawn after all the bullying but, as Daphne said, he’d be all right when they moved on to a fresh start.

‘Right, everyone,’ said Daphne, emerging from the canvas. ‘It’s not quite as nice as the tent we had in the Galapagos but it’ll do.’

‘I think it’s great,’ said Florrie, snuggling happily into her sleeping-bag.

‘You do?’ asked Mark, surprised.

‘Yeah, cool,’ agreed Freddy.

Mark was filled with a wonderful sense of contentment. Maybe, if he could persuade his kids to taste the occasional old-fashioned childhood experience, he wasn’t doing too badly as a parent after all.

69

The awards ceremony was at the Apothecaries’ Hall in London, according to the invitation. It sounded very smart. Some big corporation was sponsoring the event with
Beautiful You
magazine, which had invited Susan and Joy because of the interview about the campaign. There were ramps, which was useful – and so many people who had done amazing things that she felt a bit of a fraud. There was a grandmother who had brought up her grandchildren after her daughter had died of cancer. There was a nine-year-old girl who had been horribly injured in a car crash: she had lost her leg but now had an artificial one. And there was a dad who had brought up eight children single-handed after his wife had left.

‘We do it every year,’ explained a nice woman called Caroline, who had introduced herself as one of
Beautiful You
’s feature editors. Susan could have sworn she’d seen her before but she couldn’t think where. Tabitha slurped her orange juice noisily through a straw, and grinned happily at everyone. ‘We select the case histories of people we’ve interviewed and whose stories are particularly touching. Triumphs Over Tragedy, we call them, or TOTs.’

Susan wasn’t sure how she felt about being a TOT. It all seemed unreal, from the dress she was wearing – H&M, which Steff had encouraged her to buy – to moving house next month. To her amazement, the woman at the council had been sympathetic about the transfer and it was all happening much faster than she had thought possible. So, too, had the transfer to Green & Co’s local branch.

‘Hello. I believe I’m sitting here.’

Susan glanced up to see a tall man with a kind face examining his place card. ‘I’m Jeff Golding.’

Her heart skipped a beat for no reason she could fathom. Don’t be daft, she told herself. He’s far too posh for you.

‘Susan Thomas.’

‘Nice to meet you.’

‘Aren’t you on the shortlist with someone else for the award? I saw your name and picture on the board outside.’

She nodded. ‘My friend Joy and I were nominated.’ She pointed towards the side of the room. ‘Joy is talking to the BBC. We’ve brought our children too.’

‘Then you must be Tabitha. Hello.’ He held out his hand to her daughter, who was sitting on Susan’s other side in her wheelchair.

No condescension. Just normal. She was grateful for that. ‘Do you work for the magazine?’ she asked him.

‘No, but a friend of mine does, and I’m on the board of For Kidz On Wheels, a charity that’s here.’

‘I’ve heard of them. They do some good stuff,’ she said, with interest. ‘Why did you get involved with them?’

‘Well,’ he seemed to be weighing up the question, ‘I’m a solicitor and specialise in medical negligence so quite a lot of my clients have special needs. I also had a sister with cerebral palsy.’

Had? She didn’t want to pry but she immediately felt a connection with him.

Susan took a sip of white wine. ‘What kind of medical negligence do you come across?’

‘All kinds. One of my clients, who’s here for the ceremony, brought an action against the hospital where his son was born, because he was deprived of oxygen at birth.’

‘But how do you know the parents weren’t responsible?’ The words were out of her mouth before she could take them back.

He nodded. ‘It happens sometimes. Not in this case, but you’re quite right. Parents do sometimes pretend that their children have been hurt by a hospital or member of staff when in fact they are to blame. Gosh, are you all right? You’ve gone terribly pale.’

Susan stood up. ‘I feel rather faint.’

He took her arm. ‘It’s very hot in here.’ He caught the eye of an older woman opposite. ‘I’m just taking Tabitha’s mother outside for some air. If Tabitha needs something, would you kindly hand it to her?’

He leaned back against the stone wall while she let it all out. He was a good listener, Susan found herself thinking, didn’t interrupt, just directed her gently when she faltered.

‘So, you think it’s your fault?’

‘It had to be either because I dropped her or because I gave in about the MMR.’

‘Susan, all the evidence we have suggests that the MMR is safe. But I’ll tell you one thing. Nearly every parent I act for has the same fear. Could they have done something that contributed to their child’s condition? The answer is usually no. It’s a psychological thing. They need to find a reason, and they also feel guilty because they are healthy and their children are not. It’s natural. Just as, in the same way, some parents feel they have brought it on themselves for some previous mistake they’ve made. They see it as their penance.’

She nodded. ‘I can understand that.’

‘But it doesn’t help anyone, neither the parent nor the child. Do you want my advice? Go back to your GP. Get him to refer you to a consultant. Ask him to go through the notes. Yes it’s a gamble in case they say the MMR or the fall might have contributed. But if not, you’ll have peace of mind.’ He smiled kindly at her. ‘It’s an awful lot to take in, isn’t it? Have you got any questions?’

Her mind was still churning. ‘A few.’

‘Tell you what, how about a light supper later? I don’t know about you but I didn’t have time for lunch and I’d rather hoped there’d be something more substantial than nibbles now.’

‘I’d love to but I can’t with Tabitha.’

‘Why not? I know a great Italian near here and I’m not bad with children. I’ve got various godchildren who will vouch for me.’

‘Thank you.’ She flushed. ‘That would be really nice.’

She and Joy didn’t get the award, which went to the single dad of eight but Susan wasn’t as disappointed as Joy, partly because she was more preoccupied about telling Josh. She was really scared, but as Jeff had said, the sooner she got it over with, the better she would feel.

‘You dropped her?’ Josh demanded, the veins standing out on his forehead with fury. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

She was hot with fear, apprehension, guilt and all the other emotions whirling through her body. ‘Because I was scared. I thought they’d take her away from me. It sounds crazy now but—’

‘No.’ Steff put her hand on hers. ‘I understand. You’d gone through so much that it was hard to see things clearly. We all know that feeling, don’t we, Josh? Besides, does it matter now? Surely the important thing is to give Tabitha as much support as possible.’

‘Thank you.’ Susan could almost have hugged her even though Josh’s brows were still knitted with anger. ‘But I want to see the consultant. I need to tell him everything.’

Two weeks later, she went with Steff and Josh to see a Mr Sussex. It was a private appointment and Josh insisted on paying.

‘We should have done this years ago,’ he said, as they sat in the pale blue waiting room with copies of Pre-Raphaelite paintings on the wall. Thankfully, he seemed calmer now. No doubt Steff had been working on him.

Steff linked her arm in his. ‘Better late than never.’ She glanced at Susan. ‘I thought you might bring Joe with you for support.’

Susan shrugged. ‘We’re not seeing each other any more.’

‘That’s a shame.’

‘Not really. We sort of outgrew each other.’

A nurse called their names and they went in. Mr Sussex was older than Susan had expected; she was glad of that because it suggested experience. Falteringly, she explained why they were there. He spent some time looking at Tabitha’s notes and talking to them.

‘So, you see, there’s no reason to believe that either the fall or the MMR could have caused Tabitha’s condition. From the earlier symptoms you describe, it’s far more likely that it was a birth complication. Your notes indicate that you had a very fast labour for a first baby.’ He smiled sympathetically. ‘As the previous consultant said, sometimes a quick birth can cause bleeding in the brain that isn’t always detected until later. This might fit in with the other symptoms such as Tabitha not crying when she was born and being slightly blue. The Apgar score wasn’t particularly high either, although not low enough to raise concern at the time.’ He looked again at the notes. ‘I see that you haven’t had any more children.’

‘We’re divorced,’ said Susan.

‘Well, if either of you has any more children, it might be a good idea to consider genetic counselling.’

Some hope, thought Susan, wistfully.

‘There’s just one other thing,’ said Josh suddenly. ‘My wife – I mean ex-wife – has been campaigning to keep the centre open where Tabitha goes in the holidays. The local authority wants to close it.’

Mr Sussex sighed. ‘More cutbacks . . .’

‘I was just wondering if you’d mind signing our petition?’

‘I’ll do more than that,’ said Mr Sussex, reaching for his pen. ‘I’ll make a couple of phone calls. I know a few people who might be able to help.’

Susan left the hospital feeling as though an enormous load had been lifted from her shoulders. ‘You’re right. We should have gone before.’

‘Too bloody true,’ said Steff.

She’d never heard Steff swear before.

‘What’s wrong? Steff, you’re crying!’

‘I’m pregnant. At least, I think I am. That’s why I’m flipping crying. Yes, Josh, I know I should have told you, but I was waiting until I was certain. And I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, Sue, but suppose it’s like Tabs?’

www.whatmumsknow.co.uk

This page is no longer available

EMAIL FROM PRISCILLA

Thanks for your email, Mark. Yes, I’m sorry too but I had to shut up shop. To be honest, the website was taking over my life so I’ve given it up and Greg and I are moving to Spain. We’ll send you our new email address when we get there. Have a good life!

DADS COUNT TOO. Click here to find out more about our campaign to help working fathers negotiate more family-friendly hours. Or ring Mark Summers on . . .

‘Tabitha, look at my new screensaver. Recognise it? Good girl. It’s the Eiffel Tower, isn’t it? Only six weeks to go now.’

EMAIL FROM CAROLINE CRAWFORD:

Hope the new term is going all right. Don’t spend your loan all at once. Looking forward to seeing you when I come up next weekend.

VOICEMAIL FROM SUSAN

‘Steff, it’s me – Susan. I’ve just been to see poor Lisa. She seems to have accepted that she wasn’t pregnant but she’s convinced she’s expecting again. She says the father is a computer engineer called Ryan.’

EMAIL FROM GEORGIE

B gd Ben and don’t get into more trouble. Guess what? I’m in the girls’ rugby team. We’re going to slaughter EVERYONE!

VOICEMAIL FROM JEFF

‘Sue? It’s me, Jeff. Listen, I was just wondering if you felt like Sunday lunch tomorrow? With Tabitha, of course.’

EMAIL FROM CLIVE HASTINGS

For the attention of Mark Summers

I’m sorry you have turned down the offer of a new contract with us but wish you all the best in your new job. Please treat the Send button with extreme caution.

Yours sincerely,

Clive

LETTER FROM FREDDY

Dear Mum,

Do you get apple-flavoured condoms in prison? My new friend Sam says they sell them everywhere. I just wondered because I’d like to see what they look like and Dad won’t let me buy one. Last weekend, Dad, Florrie and I went camping. We thought it would be boring but it was fun.

Love Freddy

EMAIL FROM BEKKI ADAMS

Hi Susan.

Congratulations on saving the centre! Would you be prepared to be interviewed about it?

ONLINE NEWS: BRITISH MAN JAILED FOR TEN YEARS IN CAPE TOWN FOR RAPE. SIMON WRIGHT, FORMERLY FROM BEDFORDSHIRE, WAS FOUND GUILTY OF RAPING A 35-YEAR-OLD WOMAN ON A BLIND DATE . . .

EMAIL FROM STEFF AND JOSH

Hi Sue.

Just had to send you our first scan picture! Aren’t they sweet? Definitely both boys!!!!!! And the consultant says they look healthy which is a huge relief. To be honest, I don’t think I could cope as well as you do. Looking forward to seeing you all for Christmas dinner. Do your dad and stepmum like turkey?

PS Please feel free to bring your new friend.

EMAIL FROM MARK SUMMERS TO CAROLINE CRAWFORD:

Xxxxxxxx

This is a magic frog. It will grant you one wish and only one wish if you decide to send it to others. You can wish for anything. If you send it to:

three people – your wish will come true eventually.

five people – your wish will come true in three months.

ten people – your wish will come true in five weeks.

fifteen people – your wish will come true in one week.

Computer is shutting down...