Love Left Behind (35 page)

Jackson groaned as he
opened his eyes, his gaze pinning me as he guided the head of his erection into
my wet folds. I gasped as he started to stretch me. It had been a long time
since my last sexual encounter and I was tight even though I was dripping wet.
I saw Jackson struggling to slow down as he felt the resistance, but I needed
to feel possessed by him so I raised my hips, pushing him in deeper.

"Emma," he
rasped. "Careful, you're too tight. We need to go slow or I'm going to
hurt you."

"Please,
Jackson," I begged, wanting the discomfort as much as the pleasure.
Anything to have him fully sheathed inside of me. I lifted my hips again,
pushing him in more, and Jackson lost it. He plunged the rest of the way into
me, entering so deeply into me that I felt that head of his shaft hit the end
of me. I cried out, pain mixing with pleasure.

"Shit. Are you
okay?"

I wrapped my legs
around Jackson, the discomfort fading until I just felt the fullness of him.
"I'm more than okay. Fuck me, Jackson."

Jackson groaned as he
started moving inside of me, thrusting in and out of me with a force that had
the headboard slamming against the wall. He trapped my hands above my head with
his, pumping his hips fiercely as he slammed into me again and again, until I
felt the pressure mounting deep inside me. I was on the brink of climax when I
made a horrified sound.

"What is it?"
Jackson bit out through gritted teeth, the strain of stopping making him
tremble. "Am I hurting you?"

"A condom!" I
gasped, not believing that we had forgotten such an important detail.
"You're not wearing a condom."

Jackson shook his head.
"I can't stop now to put on a damn rubber." He was already starting
to move inside me again and despite my horror at our carelessness, my body was
still responding.

"Jackson." It
was an effort to speak, my words interspersed with mewling sounds of pleasure,
my body intent on finding its release. "I'm on the pill but we should
still be safe." I didn't know what exactly Jackson had been up to these
past few years, but the little I had glimpsed in the tabloids was enough to
make me want Jackson wearing a condom.

"Sweetheart, I'm
clean. I can't stop now. It...feels...too...damn...good." Jackson was
straining even more and I knew he was close. I decided to throw caution to the
wind and accept that we weren't using a condom, but I still wanted to make at
least one concession to safety even if it wasn't foolproof.

"Just...just pull
out when you come," I said, gasping as Jackson continued thrusting inside
of me. He stilled at my words, his arms trembling on either side of me as they
supported his weight. Jackson had a savage look on his face as his piercing
eyes gazed into mine.

"I can't," he
said desperately, looking wild. "I need to come inside of you. I need to
be a part of you."

"Jackson-"

He leaned down, burying
his head in my neck. "Sweetheart, please. I need you to be mine, if only
for today."

My heart ached at his
words, feeling him tremble from the effort of not continuing to thrust into me.
I told myself I was foolish, stupid and careless. But that didn't stop me from
moving my hips beneath him as my answer, tightening my muscles around his hard
length.

Jackson groaned as he
started pumping his hips again, impaling me over and over with his erect shaft
until I felt my muscles convulsing around him, taking me over the crest as I
cried out in pleasure. Jackson had stilled during my climax and only started
moving again after my last shudder, plunging deeply in me again and again,
sweat rolling off of him until he threw back his head, making deep guttural
sounds. Despite my earlier concerns, I found myself wrapping my legs around him
and milking his shaft, not wanting to lose a single drop of him.

He collapsed on top of
me and I smoothed my hands down his sweaty back, caressing him as we were still
intimately joined. I couldn't explain the pleasure I felt knowing that he had
come inside of me, wanting to keep us connected for as long as possible.
Jackson seemed to feel the same way because when he rolled off me and onto his
back, he took me with him so I was draped over him, still impaled by his shaft.
We didn't speak as we lay together, Jackson gently brushing my back as I ran my
fingers down his chest. We were both lost in our own thoughts. I wondered what
Jackson was thinking about but was too afraid to ask. I was afraid to say
anything that would break the spell that had seemed to stop time, to allow us
these precious hours to forget the pain we had caused each other.

When we finally
stirred, it was to take a languid shower together, relearning the planes of each
other's bodies. Afterwards, we wrapped ourselves in robes supplied by the hotel
and ordered room service. By an unspoken agreement, we didn't talk about
anything having to do with our past relationship. Jackson told me about his
latest movie and some of the near scrapes he had gotten into by doing some of
his own stunts. He also told me about all the countries he had been to while
shooting his past films. His stories made me realize that he lived in a world I
was totally unfamiliar with, filled with famous people and adventures reserved
only for the rich. It was sometimes easy to forget that Jackson was a celebrity
and I reminded myself that he was no longer my Jackson, but Jackson Reynard. He
didn't belong to me, he belonged to the world.

Jackson took a deep
interest in what I had been doing over the past five years and I filled him in,
although my stories were a lot less exciting than his were. I was relieved that
Jackson didn't broach the subject of relationships again. I didn't need to know
about all the beautiful women he had been with these past five years, and I
didn't want him to know about the woefully empty personal life I had led, with
only a couple of half-hearted relationships that hadn't developed into anything
serious.

"Let's take a
bath," Jackson suggested, standing and holding out his hand to me. I
hesitated, checking the time on the wall clock. The longer I stayed here, the
harder it would be to leave. We were weaving together a fantasy world that
would be shattered when reality set in.

"Jackson, it's
almost six o'clock. Maybe I should leave. It's going to get...too complicated
the longer I stay."

Jackson grabbed my
hand, pulling me up from the sofa. He cradled my head in his hands, leaning
down to kiss me gently. "You promised me one night. I want you next to me
tonight. We have the rest of our lives to be apart."

I was helpless against
his request and allowed him to pull me into the bathroom, which looked more
like a spa. Jackson flicked on a switch and a light steam immediately began filling
the room. I blinked as I marveled at our own private sauna. The bath was
actually a Jacuzzi and I relaxed in the warm bubbling water, my back against
Jackson's front. It felt sinfully arousing being surrounded by the hot water
and Jackson's warmth, his hands making their way down my body, stopping to
tease my nipples. I arched against his hand as he rolled my aroused peaks
between his fingers. I tensed in anticipation as his hands drifted lower and he
wrapped his legs around mine, spreading my legs apart so that I was fully
exposed.

"Touch yourself,
sweetheart," he whispered against my ear. "Let me see you touch
yourself."

Jackson could have
asked me to do almost anything at that point and I would have complied. I
lowered a hand, playing with my aroused clit, the pleasure multiplied by
knowing Jackson was watching me. I heard his breathing grow ragged as I closed
my eyes, rubbing my most sensitive spot with more pressure as I moaned. He
lifted his hips and hooked his feet around the edge of the tub so that my
throbbing center was raised above the water. I dipped my fingers inside my
moistness, lubricating them with my arousal, and then continued manipulating
myself. I could feel Jackson grow hard against my buttocks, his fingers
twisting my aching nipples, as my body grew as taut as a bow.

"That's it,
sweetheart. Let me see you make yourself come. Think about me sucking on your
clit, about me licking your pussy. Think about how hard I'm going to fuck you
when you're done. That's it, baby. That's it."

Jackson continued
whispering encouraging words in my ear as my fingers became frantic against my
swollen bud, his raspy voice telling me what he was going do to me, taking me
close to the edge.

Finally, I couldn't
take the sensations anymore and I bowed my back, crying out loudly as my climax
shuddered through me. Jackson kept his legs wrapped around mine, keeping them
spread far apart, with my convulsing center raised above the water,
intensifying my orgasm. He kissed me gently on the side of my head when I went
limp in his arms, collapsing against him as he lowered us back into the water.
I thought my climax was over but a last shudder went through my body when he
lifted my hand, taking my fingers into his warm mouth and licking off my
wetness.

"Do you ever think
about me when you're touching yourself?" Jackson asked, his voice low and
raspy. I stilled, his words too close to the truth for comfort. I didn't want
to admit how often I had imagined Jackson's mouth and hands on me, inside of
me, as I brought myself to climax. I didn't want him to know about the
gut-wrenching loneliness I felt when I was done, having to face the reality of
being alone in my bedroom. So I just turned around, kneeling between Jackson's
spread legs. I stroked his rock hard shaft beneath the water, staring into the
dark green depth of his eyes.

"We need to get
out of the water so I can suck your cock."

Jackson groaned at my
words and he stood, lifting me up with him. Water slicked off our bodies as he
lifted me out of the tub, the bathroom warm and misty from the steam. Jackson
dragged a plush bath mat over and then leaned against the sink, looking down at
me, his face hard with desire. Yet he still was able to lift one corner of his
mouth in a rueful smile. "You don't have to ask me twice."

I kneeled down in front
of him on the bath mat, grasping his erection at the root. Jackson breathed in
sharply when I licked the head of his shaft, his eyes drifting closed as his
head fell back. I slowly took him deeply into my mouth, sucking and licking his
hard length as if I couldn't get enough of him.

"Yes,
sweetheart," Jackson muttered, his hips bucking against my mouth.
"That feels so fucking good."

I continued bobbing my
head up and down, taking him inside my mouth so deeply that I felt him hit the
back of my throat and then go even further. I choked briefly and stamped down
my gag reflex, wanting to give him as much pleasure as possible as I sucked him
frenetically, my cheeks hollowing out with the pressure. His erection was like
silken steel in my mouth and I reveled in his uncontrollable reactions to my
caresses. I whimpered as I quickened the pace, feeling my answering wetness
between my thighs.

I looked up at Jackson
to find him watching me, a feral look on his face as he stared down at me, his
face strained with arousal. One hand was wrapped around my hair and I felt his
grasp tighten as his eyes bored into mine until I felt his shaft jerk, pumping
his hot release into my mouth. Jackson's eyes closed, his lips stretching
against his teeth as he yelled out a guttural moan, his hand in my hair holding
my mouth prisoner to the spurts of his climax. But I wasn't trying to go
anywhere. I greedily swallowed the saltiness of him and lapped up the remaining
drops glistening on the head of his shaft. After Jackson's last convulsion, he
leaned down and wrapped a hand on each of my upper arms, drawing me to my feet.
He leaned down, burying his face in my hair, not saying a word. I wrapped my
arms around his neck, feeling him breathe in deeply. After a few moments, he
pulled back, searching my face. I didn't understand his somber look after such
a satisfying experience, but I didn't ask him what he was thinking. I didn't
want to know.

We pulled on our robes
again, padding into the living room. I turned on the television to fill the
silence, Jackson's solemn mood making me uncomfortable. We sat there watching
TV and I couldn't help but marvel at how normal the scene looked. We were both
sitting on the sofa and Jackson had my hand in his lap, gently stroking my palm
with his thumb. We looked like any couple relaxing after a vigorous and
satisfying bout of lovemaking, but I felt anything but relaxed. I tensed even
more when a commercial came on for Jackson's new movie.
Crossing Wires.
A montage of scenes flitted across the screen and I
couldn't help feeling a hard ball of resentment in the pit of my stomach when I
saw Jackson and Candace Stile embracing one another in a passionate kiss.

I pulled my hand off
Jackson's lap and saw him watching me. I wondered if he was telling the truth
about Candace or if there was something more than friendship and a professional
relationship between them. Jackson didn't have the best track record when it
came to fidelity.

"There's nothing
between us. I told you that. Candace and I are just friends."

I shrugged, not wanting
Jackson to think I wanted an explanation of their relationship. "It
doesn't matter."

Jackson sighed deeply
and reached over to grab the room service menu, apparently dismissing the
topic. "Are you hungry? We can order room service again."

I bit my lip, deciding
to let the topic of Candace go. I was right when I told Jackson it didn't
matter, although my heart didn't agree. "I thought you knew I was always
hungry. It must be a change from all the anorexic models you're around," I
said in a teasing voice, wanting to lighten the mood.

Jackson smiled in
return. "It's nice to be around a woman who orders more than a lettuce
leaf. We can order tons of food and sicken ourselves with gluttony."