Love Lies Dying (9 page)

 John nodded his head.

Ain’t that the truth!
he thought.

She turned to face him with her hands on her hips.

“Well?” she said.

“Yeah, I see your point,” he agreed. “Maybe we do need to get away from here for a while. It can’t hurt, right?”

“Exactly!”

“And we can meet Helen at five and worry about things then.”

“That’s right.”

“Shouldn’t you rest up or something? I mean, you’ve had a pretty hard week.”

She shook her head, “Don’t worry about me. I feel fine. I bounce back pretty quickly. I just think I need to get my mind off things.”

John nodded and smiled. “Okay, you’ve got a deal.”

He cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted, “Murdock’s Tours departing in half an hour!”

Zoe giggled, “John, you’re such a ham!”

He laughed and turned back around to the wardrobe to reach in and pull out an old pair of jeans.

Helen called this old ratty pair his “weekend jeans.”

“You never wear anything else on the weekend,” she had said once.

“Hey, it’s the
weekend!
” he had replied. “I’ll wear anything other than a suit if I can help it. And I
don’t
wear them
every
weekend, just
most
weekends!”

They’d laughed about that, right here in this bedroom. They used to laugh about a lot of things before Helen got pregnant and the troubles began. If only she didn’t blame herself for losing the baby.

If only…

He hoped she’d be able to find out some news for Zoe. Anything. Even the slightest piece of information might be able to help her decide what to do next.

Then their lives could return to normal.

John smiled as he thought about a normal life. With Helen working long hours and his own late nights at work, he wondered what was
normal
anyway. He thought there must be couples out there who spend the weekend together, trying to cram everything into every minute before it was over and their jobs divided them again. He thought about calling Helen to check how everything was going, but she’d only bark down the phone at him for dragging her away from her work. Just like usual.

She didn’t even ask to speak to me when she called,
he thought.

He knew she was playing another one of her games. Games were all they played these days.

Five o’clock will get here fast enough,
he thought
.

He turned around having picked his shirt and jeans and faced Zoe once more.

She was still standing there looking at him, with her hands on her hips, a strange expression on her face – part fear and part anger.

He raised his shoulders. “Did I miss something?”

She giggled and her stern look was broken.

“What?” he asked.

“Ah, I’d like to get dressed,” she smiled across the room at him. “You know, in private. But you’re kinda, well, in the room with me.”

John threw back his head and laughed. “Okay,” he said. “Sorry. Don’t know what I was thinking.”

He turned and headed for the door.

“Thanks,” she said as he went.

“No problem. I’ll be in the spare bedroom finishing getting dressed, if you need anything.”

“Okay.”

He walked out into the hallway and closed the door behind him. He smiled. His talk had finally made it through to her, by the looks of things.

Finally,
he thought.

“Johnny!” he heard her call through the wall.

“Maybe not,” he muttered.

He turned around and walked to the doorway. He knocked on the door before opening it, and then stuck his head through into the bedroom.

“Yes?”

She was sitting on the bed with the bathrobe still around her. Clothes were strewn all over the bed and she was picking through them, as if trying to find something in particular.

She turned to face him with her perfect smile.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“Sorry?” A frown crossed his face, “Sorry for what?”

“For causing you to fantasise about me until the day you die.”

He laughed again and then she joined in.

“Believe me,” he said between laughs. “You’re never going to be someone I forget!”

She giggled again and her eyes fell to the floor. She fiddled with the hem of one of her dresses spread out before her.

“Thanks, Johnny,” she said. “I don’t know what I’d do or where I’d be without you.”

“You’d be going into town alone, that’s what you’d be doing. And if you don’t hurry up and get dressed, you’ll miss the tour!”

Her eyes met his again and she smiled.

“Come on,” he said. “Twenty-five minutes is all you’ve got!”

He closed the door to the sounds of her giggling and headed back down the hallway with his clothes.

He had no idea where he would take her, but he agreed that getting out of the house and getting her mind off everything was probably the best thing for her.

Anything that reminded her of that Fox asshole was probably the last thing she needed right now. And to be perfectly honest, he didn’t know how he’d handle it either.

He didn’t want to get involved in a potentially violent situation, but what could he do? He couldn’t turn his back on one of Helen’s friends.

If Helen were here we could all discuss it.

He entered the spare bedroom, sat on the bed, and climbed into his jeans.

Zoe was a hard girl to read; so full of emotions that could change from one moment to the next. One second she’s happy and the next she’s sad. She wasn’t going to be someone he’d be able to handle if she got out of control.

And then he remembered her lying on the bed with his robe around her. Her legs open and inviting, her body so tanned and muscled and tight. He had wanted to, there was no doubt about it.

What man wouldn’t?
he thought.

But that didn’t change anything. Sure, maybe nine out of ten men would have jumped right on that bed and fucked her brains out (after all, she wanted it), but if he did that it would only make things even more complicated for all of them.

He put his arms into his shirt-sleeves and began to button up.

He had to keep control of Zoe, and himself.

For
both
their sakes.

The last thing he needed was Helen walking in and finding them going at it like animals.

But she has such a fine body.

Or worse still, Ricky Fox kicking down the door with a gun in each hand.

The gun!

Shit,
John thought.
I didn’t move the gun!

He walked quickly out of the spare bedroom and up the hall, trying hard not to make too much noise and alarm Zoe. He had to hide the gun, just in case it gave her any more flashback memories like last night.

As he left the hall and entered the lounge room, he checked the door to the main bedroom.

It was still shut.

She wasn’t ready yet.

Quickly, he turned around to face the kitchen and looked at the hallway entrance.

The gun was gone.

Eight

Ten minutes later, Zoe opened the bedroom door and walked out into the lounge room.

She was wearing blue cut-off jeans that ended just above her knees, an old pair of sneakers and a tight pink top that accentuated her breasts and covered very little else, leaving her arms and stomach bare.

John’s eyes looked her over and checked to see if her diamond was still nestled in her belly button. It was.

“Ready,” she said as she walked into the room.

“Are you sure you’ll be warm enough?” he asked.

Zoe giggled, “Don’t worry about me. If you’ve got it, flaunt it.”

John nodded, “That’s a flaunt alright.”

“Don’t be embarrassed, Johnny,” she walked closer to him. “It’s just skin.”

He smiled at her and crossed his arms.

“So, where do you want to go?” he asked.

“Hey, you’re the tour guide,” Zoe punched him on the shoulder. “I’m in your hands.”

“Is there anything in particular you want to do or see?”

Her forehead furrowed as she gave it some thought, and then her eyes lit up and she smiled.

“Can we do some shopping?” she asked.

“
Shopping?
”

“Yeah! I mean, only if you want to, Johnny. But I’ve only got a small suitcase of stuff and I don’t have too many clothes.”

“But the bed in there was covered with clothes,” he said, remembering the clothes spread around her in the main bedroom.

“That’s hardly enough,” she said. “Besides, Ricky bought me those clothes and he knows what I wear. I’d like to buy some new stuff. Clothes that have nothing to do with him.” Her eyes fell to the floor and she pulled at one of her braids. “And clothes that make me look different. You understand? Just in case.”

John nodded, “Okay, that makes sense.”

“And don’t worry about the money,” Zoe looked into his eyes, took a step forward and grabbed his hands. “I still have the money I took from Ricky. Not much, but enough. I don’t expect you to pay for any of it, you know.”

“You don’t have to convince me any more,” John smiled. “A shopping tour it is!”

I can’t believe I’m letting myself do this!
he thought.
Only for Zoe…

“Great!” Zoe jumped on the spot. “Let’s get going. We’ve got to be back in time for Helen’s phone call at four.”

“I know, I know,” John turned and headed down the hall towards the front door. “I’m sure we’ll have enough time.”

He heard Zoe following behind him.

“Don’t bet on it, Johnny,” she said. “I’m crazy when it comes to shopping.”

“Now why doesn’t that surprise me?” he said over his shoulder as he grabbed the car keys from the key holder and unlocked the door.

He drove her to the Parkhurst shopping complex and watched as her eyes opened wide as she took it all in.

“It’s all so big,” she said to him, amazed, as they stood in the entrance.

“Stop kidding around,” he said. “It’s only a glorified mall.”

“But there’s people and shops everywhere,” she said as she spun around, eager to look at everything; taking in every sight and sound, watching as the people pushed past her.

John was puzzled, “But you’ve shopped at places like this in the past, right?”

Zoe shook her head. “Ricky was pretty strict when it came to places like this. He said I could have whatever I wanted, just name it and he would have it brought in for me. Just like the Jeep. I mentioned to him that I’d like a red Jeep so we could take some off-road trips and have some fun. And then, bang, out of nowhere, a week later I’ve got one! But he never took me places like this and I’ve never shopped in any place like this. Usually his guards or staff would pick things up for me.”

“But that’s horrible,” John replied.

“I know.”

“You should’ve tried to get out of that relationship sooner than you did.”

She turned to face him, the excitement in her eyes replaced by sadness.

“Believe me, Johnny,” she whispered. “I tried. I truly did.”

John stood beside her and placed his right arm around her body. He rubbed her side and squeezed her.

“I thought we were here to shop,” he smiled down at her.

She hugged him tight and rested her head on his chest.

“You’re right,” she said. “No more bad thoughts.”

“Exactly.”

She lifted her head to stare up at him, “Thanks, Johnny.”

“My pleasure.” He let her go and looked around the complex. “Where do you want to start?”

“I have no idea,” she replied. “There’s so much to do and see.”

“Well, don’t get too excited. You’re on a budget, remember.”

“Yeah, I know,” Zoe dug deep into her left pocket and pulled out a roll of cash. “I suppose I should count it first.”

She opened the wad of money and started to count.

John watched as she counted the notes. They were all hundred dollar bills. He became increasingly nervous as Zoe counted higher and higher. They stood at the entrance of the shopping complex with people charging past on every side.

Zoe stopped counting at four thousand, seven hundred dollars.

“Do you think that’s enough?” she asked him, holding the money out to him.

He reached out and rolled it up in her hands, “Put it away before we’re mugged.”

“Don’t worry,” she smiled. “I can handle myself.”

“Yeah, well, put it away anyway.”

“I’m sure I can spend it all in one afternoon without any problem. I’ve forgotten how exciting it is to shop.”

“Hang on,” John interrupted. “Is that all the money you have? Don’t go spending it all, you’ll need it to begin your life again. To buy food or rent a place and other things.”

Zoe patted his shoulder, “Don’t worry so much. I have my own savings. This is just the money I took from Ricky. It’s the only thing that still binds me to him. I don’t want the money, so I’m gonna spend it to start my life over.”

“Okay, just checking.”

“Don’t worry so much Johnny.” She smiled. “I have lots of plans and dreams I’m going to make sure happen.”

“Just don’t lose your head when you see all these nice things.”

“I won’t. Anyway, you’ll be there to stop me buying anything too silly, right?”

“Right,” he smiled at her.

“And if I ever run out of money, I can go back to making coffees behind a counter at a café somewhere.”

He laughed, “Yeah, or research.”

“Huh?”

“You know, researching. Being a researcher.”

“Oh, yeah, that too.” She looked around once more, her eyes dancing from shop window to shop window. “Shall we?” she said.

“Go for it.”

They stopped at a coffee shop just after half past two. Zoe found them a table and began to squeeze all her parcels into the seat next to her. Some of them were too bulky, so she placed them on the table.

“Anything to eat?” he asked her.

“Nah, I’m not hungry. But I’d love a mineral water.”

John walked to the counter and ordered a coffee and a mineral water from the waitress.

The shop was dingy and run down, and he was glad they weren’t eating any of the food that was slowly being nuked under the heat lamps in front of him. Anyway, they were going to have an early dinner with Helen, so he didn’t feel forced to have a meal now. He was more tired than hungry anyway. Zoe had shopped like he had never seen anyone shop before.

He turned to face her while he was waiting for the drinks. She was surrounded by her purchases and they made her seem even smaller as they surrounded her. He wasn’t sure how much money she had left, but there couldn’t be much.

As he watched, she excitedly pawed through each of the bags, as if checking what each contained.

Maybe she’s already forgotten what she’s bought
, John thought and laughed to himself.

From where he stood he was looking at her from side-on. He could see her ribcage and her muscles as they flexed and stretched while she reached for a bag almost out of her grasp. Her tanned skin looked warm and inviting and so beautiful against her pink top. She looked so feminine and yet so strong. Her legs tensed as she lifted herself slightly off the chair and the muscles in her arms tightened as she pushed through her purchases. The two braids swung in the air as she turned her head, deciding which package she would search through next.

John smiled.

Who could hurt someone so sweet?

He paid for the drinks and took them back to the table.

“Is there enough room here for me?” he asked as he sat down opposite her and placed the drinks on the table.

She smiled at him but said nothing.

“Drink up,” he said. “We’d better be leaving soon so we’re back in time to get that phone call from Helen.”

Zoe nodded and unscrewed the top of her mineral water bottle. She placed it to her lips and took two big gulps.

“Better?” he asked.

She nodded and placed the bottle back on the table. Then she smiled and held out her hand, palm outstretched for him to take.

He tilted his head to one side, but then followed her example. He held out his hand and she clasped it firmly and shook it.

“Zoe Barber,” she said. “Nice to meet you.”

John’s forehead creased in puzzlement.

“Ah, John Murdock,” he replied.

She let go of his hand and took another mouthful of water.

“It’s nice to be properly introduced, don’t you think?” she smiled. “We didn’t get around to doing that last night.”

“Yeah,” John sipped his coffee. “I guess so. Very formal of you, though.”

“I’m just an old fashioned girl,” she winked back at him.

“Yeah, I can see that.”

One corner of her mouth turned upwards in a smirk, “I hope you’re not besmirching my reputation with that comment.”

“Well, I’m sure old fashioned girls don’t wear cut-off jeans and pink tops that cover hardly anything.”

“They do these days.”

“Or have pierced belly buttons with diamonds in them.”

“Do I embarrass you?” she asked, her smirk now growing to the other side of her mouth.

“No, you don’t. I’m just saying –”

“I think you’re embarrassed being seen in public with me!”

“No, you’re wrong.”

“Or maybe you’re just turned on by it all.”

John took a gulp of coffee. It was too hot and burned his tongue.

“Maybe you
like
the idea of being seen with me in public. Maybe you
love
it when other guys look me over and think to themselves ‘Yeah, I’d love to screw her. That guy’s
really
lucky to have her.’ Maybe you like it all but just won’t admit it.”

John could feel his cock start to grow hard and push against the inside of his jeans. He just shook his head and tried to look exasperated. But he knew he was failing dismally.

“Am I right?” Zoe leaned closer to him, her eyes narrowed as she whispered. “You’re turned on by it all, right? Maybe
you’re
the old fashioned one.”

He laughed, “Yeah, right. That’s me! I’m old fashioned? I don’t think so.”

“Maybe Helen’s held you back,” she whispered. “Maybe she’s not putting out for you any more. Maybe there’s no excitement left in your life. Huh? Am I close?” she tilted her head to one side, as if awaiting a response. “Stop me anytime if I’m wrong, Johnny. I mean, I know you love her and I know you’re married to her and all that, but have you ever thought that maybe it could have been the wrong decision? Have you ever wondered if you
hadn’t
married her what your life might be like?”

She paused and sat back, waiting for his answer.

John just stared at his coffee.

“Are you
embarrassed
by Helen, Johnny? Do you go shopping with her and bring her here for coffee? I bet you don’t. Or do you both live your own separate lives with separate interests and only ever meet over a defrosted TV dinner at home?”

John sipped his coffee and looked around the shop.

“Come on Johnny, I’ve opened myself up to you, I’ve told you all my dirty secrets and problems. I
confided
in you Johnny! It looks like it’s time for you to confide in me.”

John stared back at the coffee.

“It’s eating you up inside and you have to speak out. Get it off your chest. I did last night and I feel a million bucks now. Try it, you’ll like it. Please?”

She reached out and took his hands in hers. His eyes rose to meet hers while his erection throbbed under the table.